Carry You Home
by MissMontgomery
Summary: Sets from episode 1.09. What if Derek and Addison had a daughter together and Derek left New York for Seattle and met Meredith after Addison cheated?
1. Chapter One:A Life With You

**I've had this on my computer for a while, it's short and this is as far as I've come, but I decided to post it to see if it's Fanfiction worthy. Please tell me what you think and how you want the story to evolve! It could end with Meredith and Derek, Addison and Derek, or maybe a totally different one... Who knows? **

Derek smiled at Meredith. They've had a long day of work, especially Derek. He had operated on Richard Webber, the Chief, and hopefully he would be just fine. They didn't know yet. He could be blind. It was risky, but tonight he and Meredith was going for dinner to a restaurant . They needed to think about something else than work. He helped her on with her trenchcoat when he saw a familiar face and his smiled faded dramatically.

"Meredith. I am so sorry. Addison. What are you doing here?" Derek asked with a fake smile glued on his face.

" Well, you'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my phone calls. Hi, I'm Addison Shepherd."

"Shepherd?" Meredith asked confused.

"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband" Addison said. Everything spun around in Meredith's head. Married? Married?! Seriously?! She wasn't just slutty, she was a slutty mistress? And there was more. She was georgeous. She was tall, had shiny softly curled hair in a passionately reddish color, beautiful eyes, perfect makeup and expensive designer clothes. Meredith heard Derek call her name as she ran through the hospital reception and out the door. All she could think about was she needed tequila.

"Addison, what are you doing here?" Derek was angry. He had met a great woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and then Addison showed up! Meredith would leave him. Probably, she already had. She had run and left when Addison had introduced herself without a word. He had run after her and tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen.

"Your hair is different" Addison pointed out as she touched his hair.

"A lot of things are different!"

"It's longer, I like it, it's very Russell Crowe"

"What are you doing here?"

"What are YOU doing here? You just pick up and leave everything. Your house, your practice, your friends. You had a life in Manhattan. "

"Had." Derek accented angrily.

"And now you have a girlfriend in Seattle. She seems…sweet."

"The ice you're on. Is thin."

"She's young. The hole wide eyed he's a brainsurgeon thing happening, but still sweet. Which is what you're going for, right? The anti-Addison?

"If you came here to try to win me back, you can forget about it." He spat out.

"I did. I flew all across the country to memorize over wedding photos, get drunk, fall into bed and make you realize you can't live without me. Relax, I'm here for work. I'll helping on the TTS case you guys admitted last week. According to Richard's briefing…"

"Richard knew you were coming out here?"

"He asked me to come. Didn't he tell you?"

"No, he didn't!"

"Oh, well, surprise.. But the hair though…You know I've always had a thing for Russell Crowe" she said in a sultry voice as she left him alone in the hospital's reception.

* * *

Derek was late for work. He quickly dressed and grabbed his briefcase. This was a bad day. He could know. He had tried to talk to Meredith yesterday, but she wouldn't listen to him. In fact, she yelled. She wanted to drive him down in the parking lot. And Derek could understand that. But he needed a second chance , Meredith was the love of his life. Actually, he had another love in his life too. His daughter. His beautiful, kind, smiling, perfect daughter. Charlotte Lauren Montgomery Shepherd. She had his big light blue eyes, Addisons nose and mouth, and luckily his thick curly dark hair. Derek hadn't talked to her since he left New York, four months ago, and he felt really bad. He wanted to take her with him, but she had her family and friends in New York. He couldn't wait to see his daughter again and wrap his strong arms around her and let her be there forever.

He pulled on his scrubs and with a takeaway coffee he was ready to start the day. Nurse Olivia handed him the chart.

"Olivia, can you schedule my craniotomy at 12 today?"

"Sure" she nodded. "Is there any specific intern you want to assist?"

"Dr. Shepherd, I would love to assist you in OR today." Cristina came up to him.

" Okay, than. Dr. Yang is assisting me" he told Olivia as he took a gulp of his espresso.

" Yang..Do you know…Have you talked to Meredith today?"

"Yes." Cristina said quickly before she turned away.

"Wait." Derek said loudly as he grabbed her arm carefully.

" I'm sorry. Me and Addison are going to divorce. I never meant to hurt her."

"Well you did."

"I know. But she have to forgive me. I love her."

" Ok, go tell her, not me. I don't do feelings, or whatever this is."

" As he turned he saw Addison down the hallway talking to Burke. "Addison!"

"ADDISON!" He shouted louder so everybody looked up.

" I am busy. I have a surgery" She said simply.

"Where is Charlotte?"

" Why are you asking?" Addison asked raising her eyebrows.

Derek grabbed her arm and dragged her into one of the on-call rooms.

"I have a sur.."

" Tell me where she is!" He shouted to her.

"You left her, why should she see you?"

"Stop looking at the chart! I'm her father! I'm going to find her. This is not your decision. Do you think I meant leaving her? You and I are over. Me and my daughter are never over."

" So you have signed the divorce papers?"

" I don't have them."

Addison opened her purse and handed him a folder with papers. " Here. I sign, if you sign."

" I will. Today. Again, where is my daughter?"

"With your mother in New York"

"You didn't bring her?!"

"Why should I? Only to let her overhear her father calls her mother a slut for screwing her uncle Mark, and learning that "daddy" doesn't want her anymore because he has a new girlfriend over the country?"

Derek looked at her with his anger stricken face. "You're unbelievable. What makes you think you get the custody? Take this to the court, be my guest. I'm going to do everything in my power to break you. I have Manhattan's best lawyer. She's staying with me."

Addison had a hard time swallow his words. He couldn't be serious about it. She was a good mother. There was no way Charlotte would go to Seattle.

"Are you.. Is this…" She stumbled in panic and fear. "What kind of person would you be if you take a girl away from her mother? What kind of person would you be?!" She shouted at him. He didn't get affected at all and left the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"Nicely done, Dr. Yang" Derek said. The surgery was a success.

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd. I'll go tell her family."

"Hi." Derek walked towards Meredith, who was reading charts. He could smell her lavender conditioner as he came closer.

"Hi" She answered quickly before turning her attention to the charts again.

" Please talk to me, Meredith"

" You have a wife" she said quietly

" I am going to divorce Addison" he said as he showed her the divorce papers. " I love you, Meredith, I really do. This could be our new start. I sign the papers, Addison returns to New York, and you and I will start over again."

Merediths heart melted for him. He was the perfect man for her, she knew that. And now he was begging her with his McDreamy eyes. Could she ever live without him?

" I have to..think about it. But if you hurt me again.."

"I wont" Derek interrupted her. " But I need to tell you something."

" What?"

"We can go into the on-call room" he told her as her gestured her into the room and closed the door." The reason I left New York was that Addison cheated on me. With my best friend Mark. Our marriage was broken before that, but the cheating part made me realize that we're too different. But me and Addison have something together that we can't or won't tear apart.

Meredith raised her eyebrows in confusion. What was he talking about?

"Me and Addison have a daughter. She's five years old, and perfect. She is lovely to everyone she meets." Derek smiled. Everytime he talked about his daughter, he couldn't stop it.

" I haven't seen her in four months so I'm going to New York to get her. I don't think she knows about the divorce yet. You can meet her later, if you want."

"Wow. You have a daughter. Wonder how perfect she is." Meredith said with a small smile.

Derek laughed. "Yeah..She has my eyes, my hair, my laughter and my ego."

"What's her name?"

"Charlotte"

" I would love to meet her. But what happens after the divorce? Are you moving back to New York?"

"I don't know. I want to live with my daughter. And she has all her family and friends in New York. If I drag her to Seattle, she wouldn't be happy. Aaarrgh, I don't know." He ran his hand trough his hair.

" What's keeping you in Seattle?"

" You. I want a life with you. And I want to be chief of surgery."

" Who said I didn't want to move?" Meredith whispered into his ear.


	2. Chapter Two: I'm A Good Guy To Her

**Thank you so much for your reviews! I thought I would get one or two, but 8, that's good I think! There are different thoughts from you, about whether it should be a Merder or Addek fic, I haven't decided yet, but I'm so glad you're involving! I wanted to continue, so here it is! **

"Addison?" Miranda asked as she saw her walking down the hallway in a hurry. "Addison!" She repeated, louder. Addison quickly brushed her last tears away before turning around. "Hi" She tried to sound normal.

"Are you okay?" Miranda asked in concern. "You look upset, and I haven't talked to you since you came to Seattle. What's going on?"

"Nothing" Addison mumbled as she started walking. "I have to go" She said without making eye contact with Miranda.

"Hey" Miranda said firmly. "Don't walk away like that! We're friends, and I've missed you, and now you won't talk to me" She grabbed Addison by her arm, forcing her to look at her. She couldn't control it and tears started to fill her eyes.

"Addison" She gasped, placing her hands on Addison's shoulders. "You're not okay. Let's go into my office" she said, closing the door silently behind them. Addison placed herself at the edge of the chair, staring straight ahead with an empty look in her eyes as tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

Miranda squatted next to her. "He wants a divorce" She guessed

"It's not just that" Addison choked out between her sobs.

"What are you talking about?" She said in a soft voice, grabbing Addison's hand, caressing it.

"He's taking her away from me" She continued to weep.

"What?" Miranda asked confused

"He's taking Charlotte away from me! He has a lawyer and…he wants the custody…" She exhaled. "What do I do? What do I do, Miranda?" She let the tears run freely.

Miranda didn't know what to say, Addison was in shock, for a good reason, but there was no way Derek would do that.

"He would never do that. You're a great mother, and he knows it. He's mad at you, not Charlotte. Give him some time." Miranda soothed as she was up to hug her, but Addison pulled away.

"He said he would do anything to break me!" Addison stood up and grabbed her purse. "Oh God…I have to leave. I need to go to New York to take her with me" She trembled. Addison was the most perfect woman she knew, she had control on everything, and now she was like a shaking leaf.

"No, Addison. No. If you take her and he doesn't know you could be reported for kidnapping, if he's serious about this, which I doubt. Let her stay in New York till you two sort this out. She's five. She doesn't need complicated." Miranda said as she handed Addison a tissue box.

She blew her nose and dried away the tears before looking at Miranda. "You're probably right. I'm a good mother. It's just…she's the only thing I have" She said in a hoarse voice.

"You're a _great_ mother" Miranda stated. Addison showed a small smile, preparing to leave.

"Addison" She called one last time , and Addison faced her with a curious look. "You said she's the only thing you have and I know this can't be compared at all but… You have me too"

* * *

"Hey!" Derek greeted Meredith as they bumped into each other in the hospital hallway.

"Hey" She smiled. "I've been looking for you"

"Really? I was in surgery…Just finished"

"Okay…I was just wondering if you would go out with me tonight…On a restaurant…And eat something…We were supposed to go out last night but…" Meredith broke herself off.

"Satan arrived" Derek rolled his eyes. "I would love to, but I can't."

"Oh.." Meredith deflated, "Are you working?"

"Not really" He smiled. "I bought a ticket" He handed Meredith an envelope with a plane ticket in it.

"New York?" She questioned, looking at him.

"Mhm" He nodded."I'm leaving today"

"But…you have to talk to Addison…It's her daughter..."

"It's my daughter too. Addison doesn't have anything to say. I'll bring her, you get to meet her and we'll figure it out."

"She doesn't have anything to say? Of course she has! She's her mother!"

"Not a very good one. I'll call you, okay?" He placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Derek! You can't do that!"

"We'll figure it out" He called over his shoulder, and then he was gone.

* * *

"Doctor Bailey" Derek said as he dropped his charts at the desk, next to where Miranda was doing her paperwork.

"Doctor Shepherd" She replied flatly. She scowled at him for a minute before speaking. "A have a patient who needs a neuro consult"

"I can't. I'm leaving as soon as I finish this"

"You're leaving?"

"Yes"

"Where?"

Derek raised an eyebrow. "That's none of your business"

"It is my business because your wife is my friend and you treat her like she's nothing to you!" Miranda snapped.

"Ex-wife" Derek corrected.

"Not until you sign the papers!"

"Oh…The papers…I forgot about them…They're in my locker…I will sign them afterwards…"

"You're not leaving" Miranda established

"Excuse me?"

"Addison is terrified! She thinks you will take Charlotte away from her!"

Derek dropped his pen at the desk, turning to Miranda. "She might be right"

"You're the most braindead person I've ever met. I get it. You're mad at Addison. She cheated on you. I get that! But if you tear her and her daughter apart, Addison wouldn't be the only one who would suffer! Charlotte loves her mother and if you take that away, you will ruin her. You will ruin your own daughter. If you really didn't love Addison anymore, you wouldn't do this. You would sign the papers and get it over with so you could start a new life without her, not this. Just think about it. Is there a slightest chance you still love her?

Derek turned from Miranda to the charts, and then back at her. "Of course not" He mumbled.

"Fine" She replied. "Then don't act like a bluthering idiot."

* * *

"Are you sure your okay?" Miranda wondered while standing in the scrub room prepping for surgery. Addison rubbed soap into her hands as the water from the sink poured down her arms. She dried it away quickly. Her reassuring smile shoved off a pearl white set of teeth framed with her red lipstick. "I'm okay. There are people who have it worse than me. Look at Melinda. She's 20 and she has stage 3 ovarian cancer." Addison nodded at her patient who was prepped in the OR through the window where they stood.

"There's no" poor thing Melinda". We're going to save her." Miranda said determined as she picked up her scrub cap, fastening it. Addison smiled of her faith. "Yes we are" She stated. She reached up to the shelf to get a surgical mask when her knees felt weak and she started to stumble.

"Addison, what's wrong?" Miranda asked alarmed, grabbing her arm, steadying her.

"Nothing..I'm just a little..dizzy" She answered, running a hand over her forehead.

"Addison…I can page another surgeon.."

"No. No, I'm fi…" She started as her sight got blurry and she couldn't focuse. Everything was unclear. She could hear Miranda call her name and feel her warm hand around her wrist before everything turned black and she fainted.

* * *

Addison woke up to the sound of beeping monitors and the feeling of a burning throat she could feel belonged to her. She stirred and opened her eyes, watching the pulse oximeter attached on her finger. She rested her upper body on her elbows as she sat up in bed, getting a glimpse of the ugly hospital gown she was wearing. She was in a patient room as a patient. Derek smiled tiredly at her from his chair next to the bed. He sat comfortably in his dark blue scrubs with his leg resting on the other as he took a gulp of his coffee. She narrowed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, looking at him. "What happened? What are you doing here?" She asked with a hoarse voice.

"You passed out in the scrub room"

"Right" She told herself, trying to remember the moment in the scrub room with Miranda before they were supposed to start surgery. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm your next of kin" He said simply.

You don't have to be here" She said, scanning the room for her belongings. "Where are my clothes?"

"Lay down" He ordered her.

"Where are my clothes?" She asked again, throwing away the bed covers as she stood up from bed.

"In the locker, of course. Lay down" He said firmly, guiding her back to bed.

"I thought you were in New York" She said dryly

"I thought you were in New York"

Addison sighed. "Give me the papers. I'll sign them"

"You should get some rest"

"It's not like I'm seriously ill" She said, grabbing her chart. "_Dehydration, exhaustion"_ She read from her file. "Give me the papers"

"Addison!" Derek raised his voice. "Just stop arguing"

"You're the one who wanted to do this, give me the pape…OUCH!" She exclaimed as Derek injected more fluids with the needle into her vein.

"You're a doctor. Doctors shouldn't be scared of needles" He mocked, placing a small bandage on her hand to dry away the small drops of blood

She rubbed her fingers over the bandage. "Where are the papers?"

"In my locker" He mumbled

"Why don't you get them?" She looked at him, seeing his kind eyes. Even if he hated her his eyes were still as kind.

He stood up from the chair, adjusting his lab coat. On his way out, he stopped by the doorway, looking at her. "It can wait…You…Just get some rest"

* * *

"Charlotte, do you get the door?" Carolyn called to her granddaughter. She stood at the kitchen, taking a pie out of the stove when the doorbell rang.

"It's uncle Mark!" She squealed, running into his arms.

Carolyn dropped the pie onto the counter. She could hear Charlotte's happy laughter from the hallway.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice hardened as she saw Mark.

"Hi, Mom" He said in a casual tone as he picked up Charlotte.

"I would appreciate if you don't use that term on me anymore"

"Why?"

"You know why" She frowned, looking at Charlotte who wrapped her arms around his neck.

"We were two people who did it. It's not like I forced…" Mark started but Carolyn cut him off.

"I don't want to hear about it! What are you doing here?" Carolyn felt the urge to yell at him and make him leave, but controlled herself when Charlotte was around.

"Me and uncle Mark are going to Staten island with the ferryboat" Charlotte chimed in

"Really?" Carolyn asked, running her hand through Charlotte's hair. "And why are you two going to Staten island?"

"Uncle Mark is gonna buy a house" She grinned.

"Well, we're looking at one. I haven't decided yet."

Carolyn eyed him for a second before shaking her head. Charlotte was busy tying her shoelaces, and Carolyn reassured herself she wouldn't hear their conversation.

"So, this is what you're doing? Running away from everything?

"I'm not running away. I'm still keeping my apartment and practice on Manhattan, but it's a nice price and it's quiet out there."

"And you're taking her with you?"

"Yes. She wanted to come and she needs me."

"She doesn't need you" Carolyn hissed, "You're not her father"

"No, her father left her. Addison was broken and desperate, she couldn't take care of her, so I did. I drove her to kindergarten, I picked her up from her friends, I made dinner,I taught her how to tie shoelaces, I went to the park with her, I held her in my arms and comforted her when she sobbed in her sleep wondering why "daddy" left her and what she had done wrong, while her mother was out drinking and burying herself in selfcompassion. And still everybody thinks I'm the bad guy. Except from Charlotte. I'm a good guy to her."

* * *

**Author's note: Addison and Derek changed their mind about custody pretty fast, probably because of Doctor Bailey's wise words! I uploaded a picture on my profile of how I think Charlotte would look like, what do you think? Does she look like Addison/Derek? **

**Please review, it makes my day!**

**-Maja**


	3. Chapter Three: Because It Hurts

**I'm heavy on the updates at the time! Partly because of all new ideas I've kept inside my head, but mostly thanks to you! Your reviews make me smile!**

**I'm going to London tomorrow for a week so I won't be able to update then, but I'm sure I'll get some more ideas in not so long!**

**Now I'm gonna pack. Looks like I need a bigger suitcase...Or a smaller closet...Well, when I'm busy collecting my belongings, you could do something everyday-ish like grab something to drink, surf on the internet, read a book, go for a walk, or maybe review my story....;)**

**Enough with the rigmarole, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! **

* * *

"Uncle Mark, it has a swimming pool!" Charlotte exclaimed as they arrived at the house for sale.

"Yeah, that's reason enough, right?" He smiled as he grabbed her hand, walking into the hallway, where a tall blonde woman welcomed them. "Hi, welcome!" She said in a cheerful voice. "You're interested to by the house?" She handed him a copy with an overview. "What can I say, this place is a catch. Built in 1947, refurbished two years ago, 5 minutes walk to the stores, bridge and ferry dock, a private lake, not to mention the pool on the land, 5 bedrooms… Well, it can't be described, I suggest you take a look" She said, looking at Charlotte. "Is this your daughter? She's adorable"

"No" Mark and Charlotte said in unison, before Mark turned to Charlotte. "It's perfect, Charlie, but the house is big. Maybe too big. I'm only one. I don't need 5 bedrooms"

"So, you're single?" The real estate agent sent him a seductive smile.

"As far as I know" Mark flirted back.

"No, you're not. What about Charlene?" Charlotte broke his glare. The agent got slightly taken aback and turned her attention to another potential buyer.

"What was that?" He raised an eyebrow as they walked into the luxury kitchen.

"I thought Charlene was your girlfriend" She shrugged.

"Charlene? How do you know about her?" Mark asked, slightly confused.

"I heard you talking to her on the phone and you said _do you want to meet me later? I'm at work, but I'm ready for you. You're so sexy"_ Charlotte mimicked Mark's voice. "What does sexy mean?" She wondered.

Mark felt the embarrassment hit him, and felt a relief when nobody was in the room "It means…nice…or funny" He explained as best he could.

"Oh. I never heard that word before" Charlotte replied

"Well, it's much better to use nice or funny and words like that. You shouldn't use that other…one. So, are you ready to see the fishing lake?" Mark suggested, ready to talk about something else.

"Is Charlene pretty?"

"Well…I guess…She has blonde hair…Why are you so obsessed with this Charlene?"

"Because you need a girlfriend Uncle Mark" She said matter-of-factly, "And you're very handsome"

"I am, aren't I?" He grinned. Charlotte responded with a nod. "Is she a doctor?"

"No. A nurse"

"Oh. I want to become a nurse too"

"You? No, you're going to be a world famous surgeon. Why do want to become a nurse?"

"Because they have pink clothes"

Mark laughed, thinking of the nurses dressed in pink scrubs who worked at his practice. "You mean pink scrubs?"

"Yes. And they're nice. One of them gave me ice cream one time I was with da…" Charlotte started, but trailed off.

"What did you want to say?"

"Nothing" She smiled

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yes…But it was nothing"

"Are you sure?" He said, bending down to her level.

"Yes" She reassured him, grabbing his hand. "Let's see the lake"

He quickly followed her as they walked through the hallway. On their way out, they passed the blonde agent again.

"What do you think?" She asked, giving him a hungry look.

Mark stared at her chest, noticing she had unbuttoned two buttons from her shirt, so he could get a glimpse of her cleavage. "What do I think…About what?"

"The house" She replied

"The house…" He started, "Are big…Beautiful…A beautiful house" He fumbled, distracted from the view.

"Is big" She said

"What?" Mark questioned

"You said…the house are big…The house IS big…You said are, like you were talking in plural…"

"Uncle Mark" Charlotte said impatiently, tugging on his arm.

"Right" He turned to Charlotte. "We better go…To take a look at the lake"

"Okay" She nodded, "If there's anything I can help you with…" She said, handing him her business card, "Here's my number"

"Did you like her?" Charlotte asked as they made their way down to the lake

"Who?"

"That pretty woman. She flirted with you" Charlotte grinned

"No, she didn't. She was just being nice. She has to be. No one wants to buy the house if she's mean. It's her job to sell houses. Talking about flirting, aren't you a little young to know about that?"

"No I'm not" She giggled, "Is Charlene prettier than the woman with the house?"

"The woman with the house was pretty, but Charlene is prettier" He smiled playfully at her. "Look at the lake! What do you think?"

"It's beautiful!" She exclaimed happily, running down to the water.

"And there's a lot of fish" He pointed as he kneeled next to her. "And you love to fish"

"I don't anymore" Charlotte said quietly

Mark sighed. "Come here" He said as he placed himself on a rock close to the water, motioning for her to come over. She hesitated for a moment before slouching towards him. He grabbed and lifted her onto his lap.

"You always loved fishing" He said softly

"Not anymore" She replied, staring at the water in front of her.

"Why?"

"No reason" she shrugged

"No reason? You are the most perfect girl I know. But if there's one thing you're bad at, it's lying."

* * *

Carolyn had just placed herself on the couch with her daily ritual, a cup of green tea, ready to watch the late night news on the TV when her phone called.

"Hello?" She answered after picking it up at the table.

"_Mom, it's me" _Derek's voice was on the other line.

"Derek, hi" She said softly as a smile spread across her face. It was months since she last heard her son's voice. "How are you? Is everything okay? Did you and Addie talk?"

"_I need to talk to her_" Hi voice was desperate

Carolyn let out a sigh. "She just fell asleep. I don't have the heart to wake her up"

"_Mom. I need to talk to her! I was planning to come today, but then I was needed at the hospital, and Addie got sick and everything happened but she needs me. I need to talk to her, mom." _His voice was shaking.

"Addie got sick? Is she okay? What happened?"

"_Yes, she's fine. She fainted. Dehydration. Mom, you have to let me talk to her"_

"She had a long day. As soon as she got home, she collapsed on the bed" Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"_What do you mean? What did she do today?_"

"I picked her up from kindergarten and we were out shopping for a few hours before she went out playing soccer with the neighbor kids for a while. And then she and Ma..uhm…Martha went on a trip to Staten island."

"_Martha?_"

"Yes, Martha Meyer. She used to be her babysitter"

"_I know who Martha is. But she doesn't live in New York anymore."_

"Uhh…I know that. She attended a college last year, but she's home for a week, and the weather was so nice today so they took the ferry over and lunched there. Apparently she wants to move back home, they were looking at a house, and Charlotte adores her so I figured it would be nice for them both"

"_Oh"_

"Derek, are you okay?"

"_I need to take her with me to Seattle. I need her. I can't stand this. Mom, please. How could I leave her? Is she talking about me? Does she miss me? How is she?" _

"She seems fine. She seems happy. She doesn't talk about you. Not that I know, I think she's distancing. Derek? Are you crying?"

"_She's my baby. How could I do that to her?" _He choked out.

"I know" Carolyn said softly. "And I know you never meant to hurt her, yet you did. But she loves you.

"_What if she doesn't…What if…"_

"Derek, listen to me. She's changed. She's a bit taller, she's got some freckles on her nose, just like you did when you were at her age, from the sun, she can tie her own shoelaces, she knows the multiplication table from one to five by memory and she lost her first milk tooth last week. And I'm sorry you weren't there. But it's just details. She reminds me so much about you, Derek. Every time I look at her, I see you. Her eyes, her hair, her laughter, her smile, her kindness. She's your child. And she loves you."

* * *

Meredith was on her way running labs when she saw Derek walking into his office and shutting the door close behind him. She hadn't seen him since earlier this day, and she had no clue where he was, for what she knew he could be on the other side of the country or in one of the OR's. Clearly he wasn't. She hesitated a minute before walking down the hallway that led to his office. She pulled down the door handle and stepped inside. He sat at his desk with his face buried in his hands.

"Hi" She said softly. "So, you didn't go to New York…"

He looked up at her, showing off his blood shot eyes and messy hair.

"Derek" She said shocked from the miserable sight of her boyfriend. She took his hands in hers and leaded him to the couch, dumping down next to him.

"What if she doesn't remember me? What if she won't call me daddy anymore?" He panicked and tears filled his eyes.

Meredith sighed. "Charlotte? What happened?"

"I called my mother…She don't talk about me" His soft, steady voice, the voice she loved changed into only a shaky whisper.

She blinked, closing her eyes for a minute, wondering what to say. "Maybe she's distancing" She came up with. "I remember when…When…My father left, that's what I did. To protect myself from getting hurt again."

Derek studied her face as they sat there, surrounded by the silence. She gave him a small smile as she brushed away a tear on his cheek with her thumb. "You know how she feels" He said sadly

"Maybe" She replied, resting her head on his shoulder as he fondled her hair. "But you cannot compare yourself with my father. Because he never came back."

* * *

"Good morning, sunshine" Carolyn greeted as she walked into Charlotte's bedroom.

"What time is it?" A grouchily voice came from beneath the sheeths.

Carolyn laughed. "It's 9.30. Time to get up" She said, pulling the curtains apart, letting the daylight flow into the room.

"No. I'm tired" Charlotte pouted and turned away.

"Come on" She said gently, nudging her tucked in body. "I was thinking you could come with me to the store. We need some juice and eggs for breakfast."

Charlotte yawned loudly and poked her head out from the blankets.

"You can go and buy food and I can stay here" She smiled tiredly. Carolyn brushed her messy curls away from her face and attached it with a hairpin.

"I don't think you should be here alone"

"It's just over the street, grandma " She said as she pulled on her socks.

Carolyn hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Well, okay then. I'll be back in ten minutes. Call me if it's anything" She said, kissing her forehead.

* * *

Charlotte bounced down the stairs on her way down to the kitchen. Carolyn was at the store right across the street. Charlotte reached for the kitchen cupboard to grab the glasses and plates when she noticed the coffee maker in the corner. She knew how to make coffee, she had seen it many times, but she had really never done it herself… That could be a nice surprise for her grandmother when she came home from the store.

* * *

She spotted Carolyn from the window. She was standing at the end of the street, talking to one of her neighbors. She could feel the smell of fresh brewed coffee when she poured it from the coffee jug into a take away cup. She grabbed the cup in her hands, pulled on her sneakers and ran for the door.

"Grandma, I made coffee for you!" She shouted proudly. She was careful not to spill it but on her way down she stumbled in the stairs and fell hard on the stone ground. She screamed in pain as the hot beverage streamed down and burned into her skin.

"CHARLOTTE!" Carolyn dropped her bags, realizing what had just happened, scooped her in her arms and ran inside for the bathroom. She turned on the shower and flushed her burned body with cold water. When the pain started to go away and Charlotte's screams turned into sniffs and sobs she picked up a roll with gauze from the first aid kit. Carolyn studied the cut and she held the gauze up to her forehead , trying to stop the cut from bleeding more.

"Sweetheart" She breathed, "Why did you do that?"

"I wanted to surprise you" She sniffed and snuggled into her. Carolyn wrapped her arms around her, rocking her back and forth.

"Are you mad at me?" Charlotte asked innocently

"No, honey, I'm not mad at all, I just got so worried. Promise you'll never scare me like that again"

* * *

"What happened?" Mark asked worriedly as he hurried into one of the exam-rooms at his practice. He was told Charlotte had an accident, but so far, that was all he knew.

"She got burned, she spilled coffee on herself. I tried to cool it down, but the burns look bad. The neurologist said she got a minor concussion from the fall, and he said the cut is deep, but superficial." Carolyn explained while holding Charlotte's hand.

Mark slipped on his gloves, examining the wound. "It is indeed deep, but about 5 stitches should be enough. I'll do it, I just want to take a look at those burns first" He said, smiling to Charlotte.

"Uncle Mark, can you fix me?"

"Oh, yes" Mark confirmed, "I'm going to make you all better, because I'm the best doctor in the city" He stated as he dressed her arm with burnshield.

"You're bragging" Charlotte chuckled, not fully convinced.

"I'm not, it's so true. All of the other doctors are seriously jealous at me. It's true right? Mrs. Shepherd?" Mark turned to Carolyn for her support. She couldn't help smiling at them. Mark was really good to her.

"You're not that bad" She said. "Well, you are a good doctor." She concluded. "Fine! You're one of best" She gave in.

Mark sent Charlotte a glorifying smile before turning to Carolyn, "The burns aren't that bad, there's no damage on the skin tissue, but we'll bandage them to avoid possible infections."

"Everything seems just fine" He gave Charlotte a lighter version, "But the skin will probably be a little irritated and scratchy for a while so we'll get some bandage on them. Okay?" He said as he caressed her cheek.

"Okay" She said, "I'm finished?"

"No, not yet. We have to stitch up the cut" Mark said, as the nurse gave him a syringe with anaesthetics.

"Are you ready, Charlotte? You will feel one little sting when I inject this, and then it won't hurt anymore. Okay?"

"No" Her eyes widened in fear from the sight of the needle and she jumped down from the exam table.

"Sweetie, you know the needle makes it no painful. You won't feel anything. One sting, and then it'll be over" She smiled reassuringly, but Charlotte refused. "I wanna go home" She whispered.

"I know, but Mark needs to fix your forehead first" She encouraged

"Uncle Mark, who is the best doctor in the city" She tried once more, but Charlotte was determined.

"Tell you what" Mark said as be kneeled in front of her. "If you let me prick you once, we'll go out and buy ice cream afterwards. Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, all of them. Whatever taste you want."

Charlotte shocked her head.

"Hmm…Okay…What about candy? That's good" He suggested.

"That sounds tempting, right?" Carolyn smiled awaiting.

"I don't want to" Charlotte said as tears started to well up in her eyes.

"Why not?"

"Because it hurts" Charlotte cried, ready to leave the room when Mark took her hand. "What if you prick me first and then I'll prick you? That's fair"

"No!" Charlotte protested, "I don't want to!" She screamed between loud sobs. "I want daddy! I want daddy to come home!" Mark and Carolyn changed looks and she picked Charlotte up, placing her on her lap. She held her close to comfort her and motioned for him to inject the needle, and to the surprise of their both, Charlotte didn't notice.

"I miss daddy" She mumbled followed by several sniffs.

"I'll give you a moment alone" Mark said as he closed the door.

"Charlotte" Carolyn tried to get her granddaughter's attention.

"You know who called last night?"

"No?" She asked, leaning her head on Carolyn's shoulder.

"Daddy called when you were asleep." Charlotte quickly looked up as her eyes lit up.

"He wanted to talk to you, and he was sad when I told him you were sleeping. He misses you so badly, he cried. He told me that he and mommy are in Seattle and he has a trailer in the woods and he wanted you to come and stay with him"

"Daddy cried?" She questioned, "Why?"

Carolyn smiled at the beautiful child in front of her. "Because he loves you more than anything. He's coming to New York to get you" She smiled widely

"Daddy's coming?" She whispered in a state of shock and endless happiness.

"Daddy's coming" She confirmed.


	4. Chapter Four: Yours, If You Want It

**Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to reply to you all, things has been so hectic lately, but now I'm ready to write and reply again! I decided to divide this into two chapters, so the trip to New York is not written into this (Sorry!), I figured it would be way to long because in next one there will be a lot of drama, I can say! This is not that good, it's too much dialogue, and the scene with Charlotte, wich is actually without Charlotte(you have to read to understand) is too short, and probably unnecessary, but it was hard to make her talk about the **** without making her too mature, so I dropped it. I'm sorry, I you hate it, I fully understand. I know some of you are waiting for the New York chapter to be up, and I promise, It will be here SOON. I'm excited to write it!**

**I really hope you enjoy your holiday, wherever you are, and if you have some spare time, I would love to hear your thoughts!**

**Read and review!**

Addison was standing next to the scrub room sink, leaning her back against the hard metal. The OR was empty, the assisting doctors and nurses on the c-section she had performed were long gone. She inhaled deeply and glared down her body, dressed in scrubs. _Salmon scrubs. _One of the few things she brought with her to Seattle. Her favorite for five years. She hadn't chose the color by accident, it was exactly the same color on the knitted baby jacket she had dressed Charlotte in, on their first trip home from the hospital after her birth. It was from Naomi. Even if she couldn't knit she was determined to learn it and attended a knitting class the day Addison declared her pregnancy. Derek always knew it would be a girl, but Addison had a feeling she would be the mother of a baby boy. Derek was the one who got his presumptions right, and according to her best friend pink was "so boring for a Shepherd baby", so she finally decided to go for the salmon color, and on a snowy November night five years ago she gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl. She closed her eyes and her mind drifted back to the day they became a family.

"_I told you I was right" Derek said as he held the newborn bundle in his arms. Addison smiled at them. "She's beautiful" She whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. A happy tear. Derek placed himself at her bedside and wiped it away. "She is. She's perfect" He said as a big, proud grin spread across his face. "It's obvious I'm her father" _

"_Maybe a little too obvious" She teased, resting her head on his shoulder, admiring their baby. Derek turned around, narrowing his eyebrows in disbelief. "What's that suppose to mean? You love my looks"_

"_Mmm…Yeah, I do. I'm just happy she didn't get this one" She said, striking his nose with her fingertip._

"_That's mean" He stated, cuddling the baby closer to his chest._

"_Yeah, well… Now you got two girls to mock you" She giggled as she caressed their daughter's soft curls. _

"_I think I can find a way to handle my two girls" He smirked._

_Addison took the baby from Derek. "Did you hear that baby? We are daddy's girls" She babbled _

_He wrapped his arms around them, "Yes, you're re daddy's girls" He confirmed as he placed kisses down Addison's neck. "How are you feeling?"_

"_I'm good. Just a little tired" She smiled bravely. _

"_Why don't you lie down and try to get some sleep?"_

"_No, I want to be with my family" She replied as she watched her daughter grip her finger._

"_You've been through 12 hours of labor, honey" He felt her forehead, "And you have a slight fever. Lie down, we'll be here. We need some father- daughter bonding time alone anyway" He smiled. _

"_Fine" She sighed, sliding down on her back into bed. "Don't go away"_

_Derek laid their baby down carefully in the basinet, kissing Addison softly on her lips and brushing her hair away from her face, before kneeling in front on her. "We're not going anywhere without you"_

That sentence made Addison wince. She remember him say that. And promise that. And now everything seemed so far away. He left without her. She made him leave. She made him leave his own daughter.

She glanced down her body again. Scrub pants and scrub top. Scrub cap. Suitable shoes. Nothing more. Not a necklace or other jewelries like she used to. People who didn't know her would see a surgeon. Just a surgeon. She reached into her pocket for her wedding band and engagement ring, sliding them onto her ring finger. Now they would see a married woman too. _Married. To Derek Shepherd. Wonder for how long._

She jumped when the door flew open, revealing Derek. "Doctor Shepherd" He greeted in a surprisingly cheerful voice.

"Doctor Shepherd" She replied smiling.

"I thought you had the day off" He said as he started to scrub in. She could see the muscles in his lower arms as he moved his hands under the running water.

"No, why should I?" She questioned as she handed him a paper towel.

"After you collapsed" He said, drying his hands. "It's only been two days"

"I know" Addison started, "But I feel just fine, and I have all these patients…"

"Mhm" He nodded. "How did your surgery go?"

"Mother and daughter survived, they had a great first time meeting and they're ready to start their life as a family" She smiled

"Great" Derek smiled widely, "Nicely done, Doctor Shepherd"

"Thank you, Doctor Shepherd" she said, looking at him, and suddenly they're eyes met. She got taken aback by his eyes. She was admiring them, and for a second she thought he looked at her the same way too, but she decided to ignore it and she quickly looked away.

"…Anyway…" Derek cleared his throat, "I wanted to ask you something"

"Yeah?" She asked, playing with the ties on her scrub cap, waiting for a question.

"I booked two tickets to New York…Tomorrow…" He started

"Oh… Okay…You don't think it's a little early to involve Meredith?" She asked, feeling a slight sting of jealousy.

"I wasn't talking about Meredith. It's…The ticket is yours, if you want it"

"You want me to come with you to New York?" She questioned

"Yes"

"To get Charlotte?"

"Yes"

Addison scowled at him. "What is wrong with you, Derek?! First, you want to take her away from me and involve a court, and now you want me to go to New York? With you? On a plane? With a ticket you bought? For me? What the hell is going on?!" She shouted.

Derek sighed and lent his body against the sink, just like she had done. "Charlotte is the most important thing in my life. And she loves you and she needs you… You're her mother, and I forgot. I would never forgive myself if I hurt her again... So I want you to come…" He said with kind eyes, looking at her for a response.

His eyes captured her, and he melted her heart. She clung to her scrub cap with shaky hands.

"Yes. Of course. Of course I will come. Thank you, Derek."

* * *

"Hi, everyone" Amanda Hurley, a preschool teacher in her late twenties said, walking into the classroom. Her light blonde hair reached down to her shoulders, and she fastened it into a ponytail as she took her seat at the catheter. "Looks like our group is almost full today…" She scanned the name list. "Randy is sick, Katie's at the dentist…Mandy, Gemma, Stephanie, both the Lucas, Holly, Matthew, Mackenzie, Bradley, Mia, Marcus, Hailey, Joanna, Ryan, Benjamin, Suzie, Sydney, Ella, Mason, Taylor, Audrey, Molly, Adam, Aidan, James and Nicole..Are all here" She paused, "Where's Andrew and Charlotte? They were here earlier today"

"They went home" Aidan joked.

"They went home?" Amanda repeated. "Why would they go home before we're done?"

"No, they didn't" Mandy said, "I think they're hiding"

"Hiding?" Amanda asked surprised.

"Andy said he wanted to kiss Charlie" Hailey grinned. "Because she's so pretty"

"Really?" The teacher widened her eyes, "The surgeon daughter and the lawyer son. So, we have two lovebirds in this class?" She snickered. Well, even how pretty Charlie is, Andy should know never to mix work and private life"

* * *

She was on her way to the cafeteria when she noticed. Doctors and nurses were watching, contemplating, admiring and scowling. At her. She filled her lunch tray with food and coffee, heading straight to Callie and Erica's table. She shoved out the chair with great force, wanting to make as much noise at possible to make them stop staring.

"People are watching me. Scowling even" She complained as she ripped off the top of her pudding.

"Of course they are. You're Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd. Heard about jealousy?" Callie replied easily.

"Not much to be jealous at right now" She sighed, shoving large amounts of chocolate pudding into her mouth.

Callie snorted. "You're one of America's formest OB/GYN's, who is also a board certified neonatal surgeon. You're rich, tall, beautiful, redheaded, you have a wardrobe to kill for, you're a mother, a perfect one of course, to a daughter who is just as perfect. You're married. To a brilliant, hot neurosurgeon, and the one time you fail you sleep with his best friend, who is even hotter, and Shepherd still hasn't signed the divorce papers yet!" Callie exclaimed, not bothered by their listening audience.

"Mark is not hotter than Derek" Addison replied, emptying her pudding cup.

"He is" Callie and Erica said in unison.

Addison shook her head at the two of them, taking a gulp of her espresso.

"He is!" Erica protested. "Shepherd is a boring family guy. And arrogant. And he's got god complex. Sloan is…hot and sexy…Attractive" She tasted the words out loud.

Addison laughed. "Trust me, Mark is arrogant and godcomplexed too. Just like you" She pointed at her as a playful smirk lined upon her face.

"I know" Erica agreed, "A surgeon needs some, but Shepherd love himself. There's a difference. He thinks the whole world depends on him. It makes me sick"

"Grey is looking at you" Callie trailed off their conversation, "It's so obvious" She motioned over to the table across the room. Addison could see she was looking with interest, so she shoved off a confident smile that made Meredith flinch back to her salad.

* * *

"She's hot" Alex stated as he sat at a table in the cafeteria, surrounded by his friends. He caught Addison's eye from the other side of the room.

"Alex" Izzie whispered loudly, "Meredith's here"

"It's fine" Meredith smiled. "She **is** good looking **Really **good looking. And she's nice. She greeted me in the hallway this morning. But I don't feel threatened by her. She and Derek are having a divorce."

"So it's officially now?" Izzie wondered, tugging at the paper on a granola bar. "He signed the papers?"

"Yes" Meredith nodded, smiling

"That's great! So you two gets another start. And you're going to be a stephmother" She smiled widely.

"Iz!" Meredith groaned, "I'm not a stephmother"

"Picture Mer as a stephmother. It's hilarious" Cristina turned to Alex, laughing roughly. He glorified. "Picture **you** as a stephmother, Yang."

"She would maim them by accident" Izzie murmured.

"Oh, that would be relevant for my surgeon skills" Cristina nodded, "But we're not talking about me here. "Me-re-dith. Steph-mot-her." She syllabled slowly, like she was pointing out the obvious.

"I'm not a stephmother!" Meredith protested again, louder.

"I wonder what she's like. Can you imagine? Having Addison Montgomery as a mother and DEREK SHEPHERD as a father?" She said mirthfully

"Look up Chucky in the dictionary if you need a definition" Cristina replied sarcastic.

"Right" George joined in, "You're comparing daughter Shepherd with a murder doll" He said flatly

Cristina grimaced. "Not just daughter Shepherd. I'm talking about kids in general"

"So, kids in general are all like Chucky? Poor you, that movie must have scarred you for life" Izzie frowned, acting compassionately.

"People, let's focus! Chucky is a doll, not a child, and Charlotte is certainly not evil!" Meredith raised her voice.

"Charlotte, Chucky, that's pretty close" Cristina snapped, getting angry looks from Izzie. "Shut up!" She hissed.

"Charlotte is a beautiful name" She turned back to Meredith, "I wanted that name when I was younger"

"It is" George agreed, "I named my kitten Charlotte"

"Charlotte was my first girlfriend" Alex said. Cristina stared them down. "So, we're sharing our experiences with pets and humans named Charlotte? My childhood enemy was Charlotte. I scalped all of her Barbie's" She grinned. "She never talked to me again"

Izzie and George scowled at her. "Don't listen to her, Mer. It will be fine. She will adore you. Just be natural, without being dark and twisty"

"Natural Meredith **is** dark and twisty" Cristina informed, taking a sip of her coffee. "Ah, you're so screwed up"

"Shepherd's coming" George said, making all five of them look up.

"Why isn't he heading over here?" Izzie shoved a forkful of salad into her mouth, watching Derek taking a turn around the tables and walking straight to Addison. She looked up from her conversation with Hahn and Torres when he rested his hand on her shoulder.

"His hand is on her shoulder" Cristina spoke, paralyzed from the sight. She turned over to Meredith with a sympathetic look.

"Wow, what an intimacy" Izzie said sarcastic, "looks like he wants to do her right now because his HAND IS ON HER SHOULDER" She accented loudly.

"Look" George started, "He's giving her an envelope"

"Why?" Cristina and Izzie asked in unison.

Meredith sighed. "It's a ticket. They're going to New York together" She predicted, staring down at the table. It was natural, Addison was her mother and nothing could be more obvious that she would join him at the trip, but the more she reassured herself, the more she needed reassurance. She looked up at them once more. He was telling her something and she was carefully listening. They ended their chat with a laugh and he dropped his arm from her shoulder. Meredith shoved her chair out from the table and walked in a hurry to catch up with him when he was about to leave.

"Hi" she called after him as he reached the hallway. He turned around and smiled at her. "Hi" He said softly. "Are you okay?" He said in a worried tone, sensing that something was bothering her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just…You're leaving tomorrow?" She asked, drifting over to a different topic.

"Yeah" He nodded slowly. Are you sure you're okay? You look upset" He studied her face, trying somehow to get an answer.

"Are you going alone?" She ignored his question. She knew it was wrong, he was her boyfriend, but she couldn't help herself. He didn't knew that she knew Addison was coming with him, so if he said he was going by himself, she had trapped him and she would have reasons to be worried.

The silence surrounded them before Derek swallowed hard and spoke up. "No. Addison is coming with me."

"Your ex-wife is coming with you?" Meredith acted surprised. "A few days ago you would never talk to her anymore, and now she's going with you? You said she was out of your life."

"She's the mother of my child. We're parents. We have to work together. She will always be part of my life…Meredith, wait" He said, taking hold of her arm to stop her from walking away.

She turned to face him and scolded. "You didn't think about how I would feel when you invited your ex-wife to your trip, did you?!" She barked, ripping her arm out of his grip.

"No, I didn't!" He suddenly raised his voice, "This isn't about you Meredith! Everything is not about you!"

"You don't think I know that?!"

"Mer…I'm sorry…I didn't mean it like that" He said, rubbing a hand over his stubble cheeks. "Even if she's a part of my life doesn't mean I'm still in love with her. I'm not. I'm in love with you…And your tiny ineffectual fists…And your hair…And your rambling…" He mumbled into her ear.

"Mm, it's just I'm trying to be supportive and I know she's part of your family but it's just a lot and Cristina says…"

"Cristina says what? "

"She thinks you're staying with her because you hurt me once, and then you could…" She said before Derek cut her off.

"And then I could hurt you again" He finished. Meredith nodded. He traced her cheekbone with his fingers, looking straight into her eyes. "But I won't. I promise" He leaned into her for a kiss. She closed her lips around his, tasting his mouth and feeling his breath, and she noticed her skin suddenly started tingling again.


	5. Chapter Five: Never Let Me Go

**_Hi!_**

**_This is my fifth(and finally!) update on this story. I'm so very sorry I haven't updated in months, I'd like to continue this!_**

**_Last chapter ended with Derek giving Addison a plane ticket to New York, one mission in their head: Getting their daughter. Read and find out what happens!_**

**_Happy weekend, behave and don't to anything stupid! ;)_**

"Oh, God" Derek groaned as he saw Addison approach him in the waiting terminal at the airport, dragging two suitcases behind her.

"Well, hello there" She cleared her throat loudly when she was inches away from him. Her soft curled hair lied perfectly on her shoulders and her well- shaped body was dressed up in a simple, tight black dress, accompanied with a lacquer belt that showed off her slim waist. Her high heeled shoes clicked loudly as she walked over the floor.

"God" He groaned louder as he took one of her suitcases, shocked by the weight. "What the hell did you bring with you?"

"Nothing special, really" She shrugged as she turned to look at the plane time table at the wall.

" Doesn't feel like nothing special" He gritted his teeth. "We should be checking in" He said, walking behind Addison to the desk. They stood in a waiting line for thirty minutes, before they finally got rid of her heavy belongings.

"You know, it's raining in New York, according to Charlotte, mom and New York Times" Derek said as they got into the elevator.

"And?"

"You're not properly dressed"

She laughed harshly. "I'm never properly dressed. Not for the rain anyway" She mumbled sexily.

Derek snorted. "You really are Satan. Yesterday, you were actually nice. Now you're back in your track"

"I'm not Satan" Addison disagreed, clutching her hands around the handles on her purse.

"You are" He stated, looking at the ceiling.

Addison slowly turned around and a big smirk spread across her face. "Does it turn you on?"

His face froze from her comment, before his mouth opened without speaking. Addison noticed his stunned reaction, and she laughed it away. "Relax. I'm joking. We're friends, and friends joke" She gestured, "And I'm sure Meredith is a handful alone"

Derek frowned. "Friends do not talk about their sex lives" He reminded her.

"So, you and Meredith are okay?" They walked out of the elevator, towards the security gate, "Meredith is okay with this?"

"Of course she is okay with this. Why shouldn't she?" He asked as they walked through the gate, the detector beeping loudly when Addison's shadow passed.

"Excuse me, M'am!" The security worker called after Addison, "Hold out your arms and please empty your purse content here" She tapped the board next to her with firm hands.

"What?" She wondered, puzzled.

"The detector had a reaction on you. Empty the contents from your purse in this box and stretch out your arms" She came closer and moved the searcher up and down the length of her body. Addison snorted, feeling stupid and embarrassed as the crown of passengers lined up behind them. "Is this really necessary?"

"Please empty your purse content here" She tapped the table impatiently.

"Seriously?" Addison raised her voice, "You think I'm some kind of terrorist? That I plan to blow some planes in the air? That I keep explosive material in my 900 dollar bag?"

The woman's mouth dropped open, shocked by Addison's previous statement. She reached for her phone, calling for her co-workers. "I need assistance here"

"Excuse me?!" Addison shot in, annoyed, "You seriously think I'm a danger for this place? I'm a surgeon, I don't kill people, I save them!" She fumbled into her purse, "You wanna see if I keep scalpels and knifes in here?"

"Addison" Derek groaned, "Just show them the content"

"Fine!" She said, obstinate, "I will show you what a civilized citizien I am! A civilized citizen who's going on a plane to New York. So let's see what we got here…" She dug a hand into her purse, "A phone. A Blackberry to be more exact…A wallet…With cash and creditcards…A pair of leather gloves…A travel sized moisturizer…A medical journal to read on the plane…" She placed the exposed elements on the table in front of the chubby woman, "Glasses…A pair of earrings" She widened her eyes, "Oh, I've been looking for that pair!" The uniformed female lent her weight on the table, rolling her eyes while tripping impatiently with her foot. "A notebook…Just in case I need to write something down…Car keys…Hairbrush…A pair of pink Hello Kitty socks that belongs to my daughter. A silvery heart shaped necklace that also belongs to my daughter" She kept a close eye on the item that was safely kept in a red jewelry box. "My favorite scrub cap…" She pulled out the blue patterned headgear, throwing Derek a wondering eye, "How did that end up here?"

He shook his head, irresolutive, as a new load of personal properties were brought to daylight. "My passport" She handed it to the security guard in front of her with a sarcastic remark, "Just for you to make sure I'm the one I'm out to be"

Her eyes drifted over the identification, then handed it back to her, "Why would you bring a passport if you're travelling inside the United States of America?"

"Because" Addison snapped it out of her hands, "I'm a very watchful person. I keep it as a 'just in case'. What if there's an emergency coming up and no one thought about bringing their passports and everyone were disallowed an entrance to their destination unless they brought their passports?"

She rolled her eyes, "What kind of emergency would that be?"

"You'll never know. But if something like that would ever happen, I would be safe…Because I was smart enough to bring my passport" She waved the pamphlet in front of her eyes. "I would be allowed to travel wherever I wanted. Somewhere far away from the highways. Like Fiji…Or Tibet…Or Bahamas…And the rest of you would be stocked in here" She smiled triumphantly, "I would like to see your face then"

She blew her off with a nod, "Yeah, yeah…Can you please hurry up? The line is starting to crowd up"

"You don't want to see the rest of my stuff?"

"No, no, it's fine" She smiled, trying to sound politely as she gathered her belongings to scoop it back in her bag. "Please just…go…Disappear from my eyesight" She muttered under her breath. Addison adjusted her purses' handles on her shoulder and moved towards a waiting Derek, sighing happily when they were finally let out. "Why did you have to say all that? You don't say things like that when you're in the airport!"

"She annoyed me!" She complained as they passed the metal detector and once again, the alarm escalated wildly the second she went through.

"Shepherd!" They both turned around to see the same, strict woman barking at them. "Yes?" They replied in unison.

"You!" Her finger pointed straightforward to Addison. "Come back here. You're still beeping"

"Ahh, this is great" Derek sighed, muttering underneath his breath as his hands buried deep into the pockets of his jeans.

"I didn't do anything!" Addison's gaze moved between them, puzzled and confused. "And how do you know my name?"

"You were kind enough to hand me your identification in the form of a passport. Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd. Impressive. You would be in need of a solid brain to memorize that" She sent her a wicked grin, "Remove your watch, rings and other jewelries. It might be one of these that's causing the deflection"

Addison reluctlantly got rid of her accessories and turned for the passage again, groaning loudly from the sound of another familiar, annoying alarm. The woman waved her back, her eyes staring coldly and challenging at her. Before she got the chance to speak, a blonde traveler in the line behind them, broke in. "It might be your shoes. I've experienced that several times before. It's because of the metal they put into the heels" She stared lustily at Addison's designer stilettos. She slipped them off and tramped determinedly through the gate on her stockinged feet, finally greeted with peace when she passed.

"Congratulations" The security worker greeted flatly, "You're officially innocent"

Addison exhaled in relief while strapping her heels back on and decorating her arm and fingers with her watch and rings. She smiled a swiftly thank you to the woman behind her who had sorted out her problem, before tripping towards Derek.

"You're embarrassing" He grumbled as she came up on his side on their way towards their respective gate.

"It's wasn't my fault! She protested, nudging him in the side as they passed a long line of designer stores. "Let's go inside" Her eyes were glued on pair of white labeled, embroidered Gucci shoes, exhibitioned in the window, "Look at that adorable pair! Charlotte would love them!"

"Charlotte would hate them" He corrected as he held up a shoe, eyeing it skeptically. "It's white. And dolly. And overprized" He turned it upside down, the price tag glancing against him. _115 dollars._

Addison threw a glare at it, nodding enthusiastically. "I'm not buying her shoes to join you at muddy fish trips. Don't get me wrong, Derek, I love that she's an outdoor loving girl, but she's my daughter. I have the right to dress her up like a doll"

"She's not a doll" Derek disagreed, "She's a natural beauty. You don't need to buy her expensive things to influence that"

"I know that" She nonchalantly replied, "But we have the chance to spoil her. I'm not making her superficial and snobby, I just want to give her good things. And I can afford it so I don't see the problem. She would, in any case be in need for a new pair of shoes" She waved a black ballerina in front of him, decorated with tiny bows. "What about these?"

"Better" He sustained, "Unlike the white ones, she can actually use them. I feel for the kids who's not allowed to run around and play because the stuff they're wearing 'might get dirty'"

"Yeah…True" She agreed, inspecting the pair of children's footwear, "You think she'll like these?"

"I think so" Derek nodded, tracing the small bows with his fingertips. "Give them to me, I'll pay"

"Forget it" Addison clutched the shoebox in her hands, "I found them" Her clicky heels made their way towards the busty blonde behind the counter. "Hi" She welcomed her in an overplayed kind voice while showing off a dazzling set of white teeth. "You want these ones? In a 7,5?"

"Yes, please" Addison didn't bother to return her cheerful expression and reached in her bag for her wallet. She cursed for herself when her hand didn't seem to locate it in the first try. Scowling to her side, she could see Derek reach out his credit card to the blonde. About to catch it, Addison snapped her hand away, turning to Derek. "What are you doing? I found these shoes. I want to buy my daughter these shoes. What do you think you're doing?"

"It's not a big deal, Addison" He stretched his hand from above her arms reach. The saleswoman let it glide through the card terminal, an accepting beep coming after the transaction. With a wide smile on her glossed lips, she pulled out an even glossier handbag, _GUCCI _written in massive, golden letters on its outside. Derek flipped his card back into his wallet, triumphantly handing Addison the bag.

"Why did you do that?" She demanded, clutching her fingers around her soft rope handles.

"I wanted to" He said, followed by a slack shoulder contraction as he buried his hand deep into his pockets, "I want to become the dad I was those couple of months ago. I want to do these trivial things that parents do. Buy new shoes, make sure she has everything she needs…"

Addison gave him a glimpse of a playful smile as she gave his shoulder a firm pat. "And you said snobby things didn't matter to you…"

"It doesn't. It's just…" He gave her a desponded look, "I haven't been a dad in five months. Five months, Addison" He accented, as to aware her of his terrible actions. "I don't know how she'll react. How she'll respond to me. She might never trust me again. It's…It's…I can't think about it. It's too terrible. I don't dare to think about it. What I've might have done to her. And the shoes…" He nodded at the handbag, "It's something parents does. It's not important, but I need that feeling right now. Because if she doesn't…" He cracked out, "If she doesn't…If she doesn't want me…"

Addison cut him off as she laid a soothing hand on his shoulder. "Derek…You know she wants you…You're her father…You talked together last night. She was fine, wasn't she?"

"On the phone" He stated harshly, "It's been five months and I talked to her once. On the phone"

Addison nodded, well-aware of the fact, "I know that," She threw a quick glance at her watch, "But she's waiting for you. In about eight hours you'll get to hold her in your arms again"

"Eight hours…" He looked up at her, hopeful before his face escalated into a wide smile. "What do you think she's doing right now?"

"I think…" She spilled a small laugh, "She's tripping nervously around Carolyn, who's desperately trying to get some caffeine into her system, considering the fact our Manhattan household clock shows only seven thirty. And…" She carried on, "Charlotte is nagging wholes in her head about what she should wear for today. I would guess she's picking something pink. A dress, maybe. On her feet, she's going for the beige sheepskin booties and the raspberry colored coat"

Derek shook his head amusedly. "No. Not the boots. It's raining, Addison. I'll take a bet she decides to take her very pink, very cheerful Hello Kitty wellies out for a walk"

"And… the matching umbrella!" She put up a finger to state her point.

Derek felt his beaming smile stretching all his facial structures as he spoke, proudly. "Exactly"

* * *

"Grandma?" Charlotte hitched down the stairs, her wild curls bouncing with her moves.

"Yes?" It came from Carolyn at her place at the kitchen table, placing her coffee cup neatly back at table while scouting at the doorframe where Charlotte's small figure appeared. She limped over the floor with light steps, taking a seat opposite her grandmother, smiling smartly as she dropped her bag of hairpins to the table. "Can you braid my hair?"

"Of course I can, sweetie" She sent her an endearing smile as she got up, walking towards the stove. "What kind of braid would you want?"

"The prettiest one"

"And the prettiest one…is?"

"The one that auntie Nancy was wearing in her school picture. The one that goes all around the head" She gestured with her fingers.

Carolyn nodded understandingly as she switched the fried pancake from the pan to the plate. "The trickiest one" She smiled for herself, reminiscing back to the days when her oldest child was crowned to be prom queen as a high school junior. She insisted on having a perfect hairdo and Carolyn was stuck for two hours, trying to set it up in a decent braid, but she ended up loosening it uncountable times before it was good enough for her stubborn daughter's approval.

"Let's hope I haven't forgotten my old skills" She placed the plate in front of Charlotte, "It's been a while since last time"

"You will never forget it, Grandma. Because you're the best braider" Charlotte complemented her while smothering spoonfuls of jam onto her sweet breakfast.

Carolyn sent her a suspect smile as she dumped back down on her seat. "Any reason for why you want to be neatly dressed up today?"

"No" Charlotte nonchalantly showed a piece of pancake in her mouth, but her thrived smile revealed her. "Maybe…"

Carolyn raised an eyebrow playfully at her, "Only maybe?"

"Daddy's coming today!" She squealed, hope and excitement sparkling in her sapphire eyes.

"Daddy's coming today" Carolyn confirmed as she bent over the table, caressing Charlotte's soft hand. "You're happy about it? No nagging doubts?"

"I'm happy about it" She cited, conclusive. "Because mommy and daddy had a little fight and daddy needed to help some sick patients in Seattle. And then the patients needed mommy too so she also flew to Seattle and then they became friends again" She paused, smiling satisfied. "And now they're coming back to me"

Carolyn hesitated. "Honey, you know…I think they're planning to bring you and take you with them to Seattle…Didn't daddy tell you that?"

"Yes!" Charlotte shouted, excited. "We're going on a vacation! I have never been in Seattle before! It's gonna be fun! There's ferryboats everywhere! Just like the one you take to Staten Island! I like ferryboats!" She reached for her juice glass, drinking greedily as Carolyn's gaze froze. They hadn't told her about their future plans. Derek wanted to divorce Addison and start a life with some random girl in a trailer located in the middle of the woods. Addison wanted another chance, she had tried and fought to win Derek back and if he'd already made up his mind, she would return to New York. And they both wanted Charlotte to settle with their lifestyle. She would end up being pulled and twisted in every direction…

"Do you think Daddy loves me the most?" Charlotte spoke softly, staring in worry at Carolyn's shocked expression.

"Sweetheart…" She whispered back, "You know he does. Why do you doubt that?"

"I don't. Not really" She shrugged, "Does he love me more than mommy, too?"

"Yes" Carolyn clutched her coffee cup tightly, "He loves you more than mommy, too"

"Why?"

"Because he and mommy aren't…" She started, but trailed off. She should know from Addison or Derek. She didn't want to be the one who disclosed her parent's newly breakup. "Because…She's not his daughter. You are. And his love for you is unconditional"

Charlotte blinked twice, confused. "What does unconditional mean?"

"It means without premises. No conditions"

She looked away, trying to compose the information, "What does that mean?"

Carolyn scooped herself off the chair, placing herself next to Charlotte, who looked up at her with big, awaiting eyes. She laid a comforting arm around her small shoulders while her hand brushed softly up and down her back. "It means he doesn't expect anything in recompense from you"

Charlotte sighed. "That's another tricky word, grandma"

Carolyn smiled softly and brushed a strand of loosehanging locks from her face, "Okay, let's start from the beginning. Unconditional love means that daddy doesn't expect anything back from you. You know, for a wife and a husband to love each other, they need both to take part in their marriage. They need to be honest and faithful. But sometimes, if one of them does something bad, or something wrong that hurts the other one, it might be enough for them to not love each other anymore. But you're his daughter, his child, and he will love you no matter what"

Charlotte shifted in her seat, "Even I do something bad? Something really bad?"

She stiffed a small laughter. "You shouldn't do something bad, sweetheart. You're too good to do something bad. But yes, even if you did something bad, he would still love you. But he would be hurt. That's why it was very hard on him, not to know if you were okay and if you ever would forgive him. If it was someone he didn't care for, he could just throw it away and not think about it anymore…But with you…He suffered when you weren't there"

"Daddy's not suffering anymore, right?" Her eyes widened, anxiously.

"No, he's not suffering anymore. He's coming back to you today" She stole a quick glare on her watch "Actually, they're landing in about two hours, so we should hurry up. The airport is an hour away" She picked at the assortments of hair accessories Charlotte had brought from her bedroom. "So…We're in need of lots of hairpins, tons of hairspray…and a brush. Do you go upstairs and get it so I can braid your hair?"

"Okay" She nodded eagerly, sprinting up the stairs, the wooden stairs creaking from her light weight. With Charlotte rummaging upstairs, Carolyn took the time to unfold the newspaper next to her to leaf through the last pages. A small note caught her eye.

_Successful gynecologist leaves Manhattan practice_

_Gynecologist and neo-natal specialist Addison Montgomery-Shepherd(38) is said to be permanently dismissed from her job at one of Manhattan's most well-renowned medical practices. Born in Conneticut, Montgomery-Shepherd moved to New York to attend her medical studies in 1991. Montgomery-Shepherd is married to neurosurgeon Derek Shepherd, also partnering in the practice. According to anonymous sources, her leave was caused by a 'private matter', and there's been an internal speculation in doctor's societies on whether their marriage has reached the edge of divorce. Montgomery-Shepherd has a prestigious reputation among AMA (American Medical Association) and pregnant women are willing to pay hundreds of dollars for an appointment with the popular doctor._

With a flap she closed it and she sighed. She'd loved Addison from the first time they met and nothing would be more unreal than a divorce.

"Here you go, Grandma" Charlottes sudden appearance broke her thoughts. She smiled and motioned for her to settle beside her. She bumped down and Carolyn ran her fingers through her shiny curls.

"How long will it take?" She twisted in her place as Carolyn was gathering her hair in her hand. "Probably not too long. First of all, we need to straighten out your hair" She brought the hairbrush to her soft locks. "Then we'll do the braiding and secure the updo"

"Okay" Charlotte flaunted a big grin as she jumped excitedly in her seat.

"Charlotte" She chuckled, "You have to sit still"

With a nod and a big smirk she turned her back against Carolyn, her wavy hair draping down her shoulders. "I think I want to become a hairdresser" She stated seriously as the hairbrush was parting her tiny tangles. "Really?" Carolyn raised an eyebrow, smiling sweetly."Because I think I remember you said last night you wanted to become a ballerina dancer. And a nurse, the day before that. And then, a veterinarian. Last week it was a writer. You're going to be a busy woman if you'll follow all five"

Charlotte weighed her legs back and forth, lightly kicking at the table's wood. "Maybe. But it sounds so fun" She turned to Carolyn, smiling hopeful. "I can do it all, right?"

"Maybe" She yarned along, "But it won't give you time to do anything else. There will be no boyfriend time"

"But I don't care. Boyfriends are boring. I just want to do funny things"

Carolyn lowered her voice, quipping for herself. "And that's exactly the reaction your dad is looking for…"

"Are you done soon, Grandma?" Charlotte's voice was signing impatience as Carolyn weaved her locks together, skilled and effective. "Very soon" She reassured her, "It looks pretty good actually"

"I can't wait to see it!" She shouted excitedly, "Do I look like a princess?"

"You always look like a princess, sweetheart" She said softly, pulling out a bobby pin to fasten on the left strand of hair, sneaking it underneath the braid. "There…" She attached the last pair of clips, "We're done"

"Really?" Charlotte's facial expression broke into a big grin, "Can I see?"

"Of course you can" She tilted her head, admiring the gorgeous girl, her granddaughter, in front of her. In a second, Charlotte had turned on her heel and was sprinting towards the hallway mirror.

"It's beautiful!" She squealed, admiring the second vision of herself, her front hair neatly combed backwards as the thick braid was twirled around her head, not a single lock misplaced. She was stunning.

* * *

"Derek!" Addison complained, stuck in the small seat at the plane, squeezed in between Derek and the tiny window. "Get your hand off my armrest!"

"It's not your armrest, it's my armrest" Derek scoffed back as Addison was wriggling uncomfortable in her seat, trying to keep control on all her four limbs that were switching position every other minute in the miniature space she was given during the many hour plane ride to New York. "It is my armrest!" She scolded, "Yours is beside that lady next to you"

They both turned to look at the elderly woman that was sleeping peacefully in her seat, permanently occupying the armrests on each side of her. "She's old" Derek lowered his voice, "And she's sleeping. "It's not like I'm going to rudely wake her up and give her a speech about 'yours, mine and ours'.

Addison let out a pained sigh as she tossed her head back in the seat. "I should have known when you said you'd ordered tickets that it wasn't going to be on first class. With champagne and strawberries waiting for me…And the change to stretch out my aching legs…And to walk around…Preventing embolisms…" She kept on dreaming, "If I get an embolism during this flight, I will blame you"

Derek stifled a laugh. "You're not getting an embolism"

"You don't know that"

"You most certainly aren't."

"Get your hand away from my armrest. I have to endure seven hours in this tiny, tiny plane where I don't see any trace of strawberries and champagne, only tepid coffee and cheap lunches in plastic boxes!" She scolded at the stewardess five seats behind them, happily pushing the food cart in front of her. "And that's not it" She continued, "I'm trapped in this scratchy seat next to you, who can't leave five minutes without mocking me. At least I deserve to keep my armrest to myself!"

Addison smacked his forehand and he reluctlantly showed it away. A relieved smile spread across her lips. "Thank you" She breathed.

Derek lifted his head to study her contented expression before reaching for the newspaper in front of him. "You know, I don't think I've seen you this satisfied in a long time…Not even the day I proposed" He mocked, "Just because of a stupid armrest"

"Shut up" Addison growled, kicking off her heels to let her toes wriggle in free air. She leaned back in her seat, dropping her eyelids close. "I'm going to sleep now. When the stewardess shows up, I'll get a burning hot espresso and a diet coke"

"Actually" Derek broke in, his eyes glued onto the script in the newspaper, "I don't think there is any espresso in here. Only normal black"

"Fine" She mumbled, "I guess I have to adjust my expectations to this cattle transport"

Derek snorted, turning another page in his reading as Addison desperately tried to reach her sleepy state, without success. She blinked and stirred, parting her eyes open, irritated. "There's too much noise!" She whined, "I can't even sleep!"

"You should try for more than two minutes" Derek commented bluntly.

"I need a lullaby"

"I'm not singing you a lullaby"

Sighing, Addison reached into Derek's briefcase, fumbling around in every pocket before pulling out his white iPod. "No, but your iPod are" She said, whirling out the strings and placing the plugs to her ears. Audibly entertained, she shut her eyes close again, trying to best she should to slacken out her body and just…relax.

Reaching the last newspaper pages, Derek's eyes wandered over sales commercials, advertised jobs and 'local' New York news. That's when his gaze caught the small note on the bottom of page 32. He noted the broadcasted content in his mind, disbelieved. It was right, he, or more exact, Addison had been the one to file for a divorce, but looking at it in the newspaper, scripted, for people to read it made it all so much more serious. So much more…final.

"Addison?" He nudged her forearm gently, causing her slack, sleepy body to slither forward, her head ending up on his shoulder. He tensed for a minute from the fact that his soon-to-be ex-wife was resting on him and it should feel wrong. She was the physical form of Satan. She was cut out from ice. She was an adulterous sociopath. And she would probably always be. But to his surprise, he was okay with it. During this ride, at that exact minute, he was perfectly okay with having that adulterous sociopath's soft breath against his neck.

* * *

"We're here!" Charlotte pressed his nose up against the car window, watching the wide, tall building that came to focus in front of them.

"We're here, sweetie" Carolyn replied with a smile as she swirled on the steering wheel, driving towards the parking lot. Pulling up to an empty spot, she braked and tossed her glasses, only used for occasions like this one, on the dashboard in her front.

Charlotte eagerly unbuckled her seatbelt and jumped out, her pink rainboots splashing in the rain puddle beneath her. She brought her hands over her head, trying to protect her beloved hairdo from the heavily pouring rain. Dressed in a white woolen coat without a hood, she reached into the backseat for her much needed umbrella. Already in, she grabbed Carolyn's handbag too.

"Oh, thank you" She smiled appreciatively as she unfolded her umbrella. Hand in hand, they walked towards the airport entrance with hastily steps.

"Grandma, are mommy and daddy waiting for us in here?" She wondered as they passed the whirling doors that led to the airport arrival terminal.

"No, I don't think they're here yet. But we shouldn't be waiting that long…Oh…" She said after a quick look at the departure/arrival table.

"What?" Charlotte looked up, confused.

"Their plane is delayed another hour"

"An hour? But that's long!"

"It's not that long" She disagreed, smiling. "Why don't we go into one of the cafeterias and buy something while we wait? Do you want ice cream?"

"Yes!" Charlotte's face lit up, "Let's get ice cream!"

* * *

"I think we should get going now" Carolyn watched her granddaughter from across the table, who was devouring and slurping up the rest of her sundae. Overenthusiastically, she slipped the spoon into the glass while bouncing down from the bar chair. "Has mommy and daddy arrived yet?"

Carolyn adjusted her purse around her shoulder, offering Charlotte her hand. "Very soon. Their plane should be here right now. They just need to get their baggage first" She bent down in front of Charlotte, catching her gaze. "You're ready?"

"Mhm" She nodded reassuringly. "Do I look pretty?"

"You look beautiful, sweetheart" She gave her arm a soothing stroke, "Are you sure you're ready? You're not a bit nervous? Or scared?"

"No" Charlotte declined her enquiries. "I'm ready and I'm excited. I have thousand butterflies in my tummy!"

She flaunted off an unfeigned smile as they strolled along the hall, heading towards the welcome terminal. "You see that?" Carolyn pointed up to a black, digital screen on the wall. "That's a list over the planes that have arrived already. The number three up there, that's mommy and daddy's plane"

"Has it arrived yet?"

"It has" She pulled out her cellphone from her purse, checking it for any newly incomes, "Mommy sent me a message" She read out loud, "_Hi! Our plane got disposed an hour because of the Seattle weather, but we're closing NY now, little by little! Are you already at the airport? Just figured I should let you know, and don't leave Charlotte panicked for us to not show up! Looking forward to see you again! Addie._

"They're coming" Charlotte concluded happily, her legs hovering restlessly around on the floor.

Meanwhile, a tall redhead made her high heeled way through the arrival gate, walking straight and confident towards her destination. Passing men turned around, admiring the luscious view while women's eyes widened and almost dropped out from their faces, jealousy evident in their facial expressions. For Addison, it didn't matter, she kept her moves soft and abrupt down the offset. As she turned the corner to the wide, massive hall, her steps slowed down and she caught herself admiring her beautiful daughter from a distance.

"Charlotte!" She breathed, tripping towards the little girl, not so balanced in her steps this time. The little girl responded with a quick turn on her spot and her mouth dropped open, gasping, caused by both shock and happiness.

"Mommy!" She squealed, her legs running across the floor as fast as her feet would allow them to. Addison kneeled down, dropped her handbag, her arms open and free to take her into one, big reunion hug.

"Heey!" She exclaimed, softly laughing as Charlotte threw her arms around her neck while Addison fastened a secure grip around her daughter's back. Her dirty wellies rubbed against the precious fabric of her newly acquired coat, and she couldn't care less.

"I've missed you lots" Charlotte looked up from shoulder, smiling happily. Addison placed a hasty kiss on her cheek before pulling her closer. "I've missed you too, honey" She ran a soft hand through her flawless hairdo. "This looks difficult" She tapped the crown of her head lightly, "Did Grandma braid your hair?"

"Yes" She eagerly nodded, "Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful" Addison smiled softly as her porcelain fingers trailed across her forehead, touching her faded scar lightly. "What happened to your forehead?"

"I tripped in the stairs and fell and I got a cut and a confusion" Charlotte casually replied. Addison nodded, smiling amusedly. "You mean a concussion?"

"Yes" She nodded seriously, "And then I got a little bit burned, but Uncle Mark fixed me" She smiled smartly, "He is the best doctor in the city"

Addison's lips parted as her eyes flicked at Carolyn, demanding a more specific unravel. "Mark? He…" She swallowed," He was there…?"

She let out a wistful sigh. "He was, Addie. She thrusts him and I figured it might be easier…"

"Yeah, of course. Of course" Addison nodded absently, cutting her off. "I understand. Mark was there for me, and for her…I kind of counted on him to still be…"

"Where's daddy?" Charlotte suddenly spoke, twisting in Addison's arm, looking up, alarmed, scared to death for Derek to not show up after all.

"He's coming, honey" Addison gave her back a soft, reassured tap. "He's just getting our bags. I decided to go and meet you so you wouldn't be waiting for too long. He's coming"

"Can I go and find him?"

"No, you can't get down there by yourself. You might get lost in this big building. Why don't you go stand at the entrance so we can see you?" She suggested, "That's where daddy's coming out" She put Charlotte back on her feet and she took of excitedly.

Addison sighed as she turned to Carolyn, "I don't want to talk about it front of her…I'm grateful for everything Mark has ever done for us, but he does it because he wants me. He was there because he wants to play a happy family life with me and Charlotte. I can't let it happen. He wants to be better than Derek, he want to work things out with me…He want to take care of Charlotte, he want to take over Derek's role as a father. I won't let him do that"

"I don't think it's all about being better. After talking to him, it seems like he truly cares about both of you"

"And I'm grateful about it" Addison inhaled a deep breath. "But I don't feel that way about Mark. I don't want to be with him" She threw a look in Charlotte's direction to where she stood beside the large terminal door, trying to seek out her father among every incoming arrivers.

"Who do you want to be with?"

She sent her a quick glare, a glare reading 'who do you think I want to be with?' as she instinctively twisted her wedding bandaround her ring finger. "Derek. I want to be with Derek"

"Does Derek want to be with you?" Carolyn prompted, already aware of the answer.

"No" She replied, melancholic, "He wants a…divorce…"

"DADDY!" They were both interrupted by Charlotte's high-pitched voice and their faces were drawn towards the little brunette who was throwing all her weight around Derek's neck. He immediately abandoned their bags on the floor and gently squeezed her small frame. She linked her legs around his waist, resting her cheek on his shoulder as he swirled her around in his arms. Finally.

_This time, This place_

_Misused, Mistakes_

_Too long, Too late_

_Who was I to make you wait_

_Just one chance_

_Just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left_

_'Cause you know,_

_you know, you know_

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me __and you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if_

_I don't see you anymore_

_On my knees, I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance_

_'Cause with you, I'd withstand_

_All of hell to hold your hand_

_I'd give it all_

_I'd give for us_

_Give anything but I won't give up_

_'Cause you know,_

_you know, you know_

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me_

_and you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if_

_I don't see you anymore_

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_But you know, you know, you know_

_I wanted_

_I wanted you to stay_

_'Cause I needed_

_I need to hear you say_

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I forgive you_

_For being away for far too long_

_So keep breathing_

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and_

_Never let me go_

**_Nickelback- "Far Away"_**

**_A.N: I will write much more of Derek and Charlotte's reunion, this was meant as Addison's point of view. Next chapter, I promise!_**


	6. Chapter Six: We Wait

**Hi! Happy friday! And happy December!**

**I've come up with a chapter six to this fanfic, not too long this time but I've been starting on a seventh chapter so it will be up in not too long hopefully.**

**Not too intriuged, that I'll save for the next one! **

**Please tell me what you think!**

* * *

"Daddy's so sorry…So very sorry…" Derek whispered in her ear, hugging her close, almost squeezing her small figure that was to be buried in his large grip. "I'm so sorry…" His voice was pained and indebted as he spoke, only for Charlotte to hear. In the corner of his eye he could see travelling people passing them, shooting them quick looks, smiling, admiring the affectionately bonding between them as they stood in the middle of the large crowded terminal. His gaze drifted to the end of the hall where Addison was standing next to his mother, her head tipped to the side as an endearing smile covered her lips. His mother raised a hand, waving playfully at him as a greet and he put up a small smile in response to them. His attention was immediately drawn back to Charlotte when she stirred in his arms, tightening her hold around Derek's neck. She let out a leisured sigh as her head sought to rest safely on his shoulder while his hand trailed up and down her back, stroking, as his lips attacked her doll skin cheek with soft kisses. The silence landed upon them and it felt like time stood still. The noise eased out. People froze. It was just them, finding comfort in each other's arms again.

"You're here, Daddy" Charlotte suddenly said, ratifying his presence while clinging onto him even tighter, reassuring herself that he was here. For real.

"I'm here" He whispered, "And I'm not going anywhere without you again"

"Do you promise?" Her soft voice was muffled by his coat her head was resting upon.

"I promise" He said, pulling her closer, if possible, to fortify his last attestation. His strong hand avouched her small middle as another one rested on the back on her head while he smothered her face with another round of endear kisses.

"Oh, God…" Derek whispered, his voice trembling slightly on a quivering lip. She was really here. He was really here. He dropped his head to the side for a better look of her beautiful face for his study and she smiled widely back. His mother had been right. She was different. During four, almost five months, she'd changed. Carolyn had been talking about lost teeth and appearing freckles and he could spot them easily. He placed a light finger on the tip of her nose, counting one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, tiny chestnut colored dots that were spread down her nosewing.

His smile went flaccid the second he spotted a thin, pink line on the right on her forehead, a suture scar the way it looked after stitch removal, in the healing process. He held two fingers up closely, almost reaching into his absented lab coat for an eyelight. "What happened? Princess, why do you have a scar on your forehead?" Panic weaved into the cover of his voice. "Why didn't grandma tell me? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Grandma didn't tell the hysterical daddy because grandma knows how her son would react the second he would be made aware of his daughters little accident resulting in an insignificant injury" Carolyn's voice appeared behind his back with Addison following her as amused audience.

"It doesn't look very insignificant to me" Derek said, opinionated. "Someone's been suturing my baby's forehead, passing thread and needle through her skin, into her, may I assume, deepgoing cut?"

"I'm not a baby" Charlotte scolded, headstrong.

"She's not a baby" Addison agreed solemnly, followed by a small shoulder contraction.

Derek's eyes drifted from mother to child before he knelt down in front of Charlotte, his blue eyes striking her matching pair. "But you are" He disagreed softly, "You're always going to be my baby"

"Mommy?" She spoke up, insecure and bewildered from her father's words, seeking Addison's reassurance to that she was not.

"No, honey, you're not a baby. You might be daddy's baby, but you're not a baby" Addison placed herself behind her back, caressing her shoulder lightly as Derek tilted his head to the side, his trademark smile coming into full view. He gripped her small middle, bringing her back in his arms, Charlotte giggling softly, her obvious remark making them all put up a laugh. "Daddy smiled prince charming's smile again"

"I did" Derek nodded enthusiasticly, "Especially for you because you're my princess and I'm your prince charming"

Addison cleared her throat carefully. "You realize that in ten years you might not be so charming anymore, Derek?" and he sent her a sagacious look. "Of course she will. I'm her one and only prince charming. Always been, always will be"

"Really?" His mother challenged, "And how you do know that?"

"Because we wrote a contract about it" He explained precisely, "I've taken every precautious there is. No dating, no flirting, no bonding with guys left unmentioned in the contract, no kissing, no touching and even worse, the three-lettered word for intimacy. Absolutely not."

Addison and Carolyn were left staring at each other, stunned and puzzled. "And…exactly how…are you planning to proceed if she, somehow, finds out in ten years that she actually changed her mind about it and she violates each rule in the contract?"

"She can't do that" He disagreed, "A contract is in the legal sense a written agreement between two or more parties on matters of legal nature. Following the general rule in the law, an agreement is on when a party accepts an offer that the other party has put forward and there is correspondence between offer and acceptance" He explained professionally. "A contract is a binding agreement"

Addison and Carolyn rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Did you both sign that…contract? You know she's unauthorized to sign, right? She's five"

"Yeah I know, but she's not supposed to know that…" He lowered his voice teasingly, trying to avoid the truth to reach the little girl's ears, but her voice immediately chimed into their conversation. "I won't break the deal because I don't want a boyfriend. I just want daddy" She sighed pleasantly as her head dropped down on his shoulder, those words making Derek's ego escalate into free air as he smiled triumphantly. "See?" He shrugged complacently, "She's a real daddy's girl"

"I am!" Charlotte agreed, her growing smile revealing a dark, empty vacuity along the array of ivory shaded teeth in her upper mandible from the lost teeth.

"I lost my teeth, Daddy" She stated proudly, gaping widely for him to take a better look. Derek furrowed his brows together, nodding seriously as he examined her mouth closely. "You did" He agreed cheerfully, "What did the tooth fairy give you?"

"Ten dollars" She responded quickly, "That's a lot of money"

"Ten dollars?" He eased up his eyebrows, surprised. "That's a lot of money" He reapplied her previous statement. "I guess tooth fairy was quite generous then" He shifted her in his arms, feeling slightly overwhelmed. He should have been the one to take his daughter's first toothshred in exchange for a ridiculously high valued, wrinkled dollar bill and new, glinting coins. He should have been the one to spot the first freckles' occurrence and he should have been the one to kiss them all and he should have been the one to…be there through those small, yet so important changes in her life. The contrition stabbed him repetitively, now more than ever, with her, held and guarded in his arms. He closed his eyes and crushed his nose against her velvet hair, his nostrils instantly taking note on the familiar scent. It was that yellow container from the grocery store, the cheap one that every kid would pick for themselves, but they would chose strawberries or vanilla or something boring while Charlotte's favorite was the one that smelled pineapple and tangerines and that little yellow shampoo was lined up on their bathtub, along with Addison's high-priced ones and his owns, which he had to admit weren't exactly the cheap type either. But he had his hair and his hair was perfect and his hair deserved the best treatment but he couldn't seem to take his focus off the fact that she was the scent of pineapples and fresh hint of citrus fruits and that would be his absolute favorite. His nostrils inhaled a generous amount of the smell, somehow bringing and banking the previously lack of it back to his senses.

Charlotte wriggled and showed off the want to be put down and he reluctantly put her back on her feet, his eyes growing wide in astonishment of her boosted height. Another part his mother had watched and made him aware of but he didn't realize the changes would be…this… She _really_ had been growing. Being born at a healthy weight of 8,6 pounds, Charlotte had always been cutely chubby, the optimum way a baby at the stage to a toddler should be. And suddenly, at the age of five her height was raging in the air, spreading muscles and fat, dwindling away body reserves, erasing adorable apple cheeks, small child fingers and the soft, round stomach he loved to tickle.

She was getting tall and slender. Like her mother. He wouldn't mind if she inherited Addison's traits and looks because the most obvious of them was like taken out of him. But it was all happening too fast. Like a grudge for him to realize everything he had missed those months. What would the next step be, drivers license? College attendance?

"Daddy…" He was awoken from his reflecting when Charlotte tugged on his arm impatiently as she looked up at him, wide-eyed and expectant. "Piggyback ride?"

He nodded in response and bent down in front of her so she could easily climb onto his back. "Alright then" He said, standing up straight, getting a protective grip around her legs as her arms were linked around his neck. "Let's get home"

"Are you planning to transport her like that to the car?" Carolyn asked with a small smile, "I parked on the southern side of the airport so there's some way to go"

"Of course I am. My baby's hurt and I won't let my baby walk by herself when she's hurt" He responded easily, bending down to place a quick kiss on her cheek. "Good to see you, ma"

"You too, sweetheart" Her hand caressed Derek's cheek lightly. "I missed you. We all did"

* * *

"Daddy, how does Emeralda's cut look?" Charlotte wondered as they both laid sprawled out onto her bed, Derek showing off his doctoring skills as he closely inspected the rip in the arm of Charlotte's favorite stuffed pet, a green colored frog, the color slightly faded, coming to the fact that it was the exact same frog Derek had held as his favorite animal in his childhood years.

"It's deep" He stated after a round of check-ups and close examination. "Scissors, please" He ordered professionally.

"Scissors?" Horror washed over her face, "Are you cutting into her?"

"Yeah, we have to remove all those fibres, we have to make it a clean cut before we can start doing the suture. Don't worry, she's numbed. That way, it will be easier to close her up, and it will heal faster, leaving her with a small, almost invisible scar. Just like yours" He planted a quick kiss on her forehead, stretching his arm out for her, "Scissors please, Doctor Shepherd"

With a small giggle she reached for the set of kitchen tools they had arranged on her nightstand, "surgical" instruments neatly lined up along the small table.

"Scissors" She acknowledged, handing the steel-sharp equipment to Derek and he plucked away the loose threads for a proper look at the scission, inspecting it closely. "I guess we can start the repair now, Doctor Shepherd" He bent over her to catch the needle and a reel of thin cotton thread they had stolen from Addison's sewing box. Not that she did much sewing in her free time.

He passed the thread expertly through the needle's eye and with a small sting it went through the soft and mellow fleece, Charlotte stifling a wince. She pulled out the drawer on her nightstand to grab a pack of childlike, cartoon inspired band-aids, sticking one onto the frog's forehead.

"Here we are" Derek paused, tearing off the leftover thread. "It looks quite good, huh? The suture lines are perfect and surgical precise" He held up the animal, his eyes trailed over the small frog's scar infested body, every single one of them performed by Derek himself. "It's been a few procedures on this thing lately"

"And she's very happy that you're her doctor, daddy. You're one of the best" Charlotte replied gratefully as she kept a close hold around Emeralda's body.

"Oh, princess, I am" He commented, satisfied, gathering her in his arms, kissing the crown of her head repeatedly, "I'm the best"

Acutely, she turned around to face him. "Better than uncle Mark, too?" The content in her question made his wide smile darken immediately. "I'm the very best" He heard himself say again, this time his voice holding resentful tones.

"Oh…But uncle Mark says…" Derek's interrupting voice punctuated her chance to fulfill the sentence.

"I guess it's mommy's turn to fix Emeralda next time she needs a doctor's hand" He said, determined to drift away from every conversation involving and centering around his supposed to be- best friend.

"When that…stuffed thing gets knocked up, it's mommy's turn to take over. Until then…" Addison shook her head, "I don't think so" Her voice was heard from the door frame where she'd been standing, watching and secretly listening to the two of them.

She walked inside and Charlotte held it up proudly for Addison to admire the new scar, in addition to the five others that adorned on the green body.

She turned on her head dismissively. "I can't believe you're still keeping that frog. It's ugly and worn-out. It must be what, thirty years?"

"Thirty-four" Derek added quickly, "I got it when I was four" He paused, calling out with Charlotte in unison, "And she's not ugly"

Addison rolled her eyes, smiling mockingly before changing into a more serious mood. "Uhmm…Derek? Could we talk…outside?"

"No!" Charlotte protested defensively, "Daddy, you promised to stay with me"

"And I will" He reassured her softly, clutching her small hand safely as a promise. "I'm just going to talk to mommy. You stay here and wait for me, okay?"

She pulled the bedcovers tightly around herself and nodded warily. Addison tramped over the doorstep with Derek following, closing the door silently behind him. She seceded down the stairs and clutched to the banister. "I...uhm…" She breathed nervously, offering him a small glance, "I changed the…bed sheets in our room so if you want to…" He broke her off, retorting back. "Why would I sleep in the bed my wife screwed my best-friend in?" Addison's gaze landed on the floor, humiliated.

"I promised Charlotte to stay with her through the night" He informed, softer and specked with regret in his voice this time, "I'll crash on the cot"

"Okay" She was barely whispering, "I guess I'll be in the bedroom then…"

He jerked his head up in a nod, strolling across the floor in the hallway, past her.

"Derek" Her voice had regained its strength this time and she appeared beside him. "What do we do? What do we tell her? How's she supposed to adapt to all this?"

"I don't know" He rubbed his stubbles, despaired and confused, "I don't know…" He heard himself say again while his mind was sorting out the best way it could. "We wait. That's what we do. We won't tell her yet. We need more time, all of us"

"We wait?" Addison's eyebrow rose suspiciously, "Are you sure? What about Meredith? Are you planning to tell her?"

"I am. I will tell her as soon as she finds out about us. But not yet"

They were silent for a minute, both stuck in their own thoughts until Addison's voice broke through. "There is this drawing…In my office…She made it a year ago…" She looked at Derek, "Do you remember that one? All three of us, smiling in the park and I had that hideous red shaded hair and this big bump because she wanted a sibling at that time… and we had a dog… and Charlotte was standing between us, everybody was smiling and the air was filled with tiny, red hearts…She turned to him, melancholic, as she was dwelling on their past. "Do you remember that?"

Slowly, he nodded. "I do"

"How are we supposed to tear that picture apart? How do we tell her that the sparkly blue heaven with all those hearts will be replaced with gloomy, grizzled clouds?"

* * *

**Author's Note: In the next chapter things takes a turn for the worse. Especially between Derek and Addison and Derek and Charlotte…And yes, Mark is one causing part...**


	7. Chapter Seven: Tomorrow

**Hey you all! So this is kind of a Christmas update from me. ****Paradoxically it's not that kind of season in this chapter, there's lots of emotions in this so Christmas didn't really fit in, but I will make one someday! **

**The ending is kind of dramatic, I will work on that in the next one and most surely the next one will be up during the holidays! **

**I woke up to a city covered in white today and I went all emotional about it. I love snow! I'm a 'snowy' person, so now I'm gonna pull on my UGGs, not the prettiest choose of footwear but oh, so comfy, and stroll on downtown to finish up some Christmas shopping. What about you? Are you done? Have you even started yet? ;)**

**Okay, back to the story basics; I put in a scene from SGH, centering around Meredith and Cristina and their talk and to show that the hospital is still standing with the finest two attending out of town! Then, there's some 'Chaddek' family fluff before Mark shows up, storming things up a bit…I hope you like it, thumbs ups or downs, leave me a thought!**

**At last, I want to thank you all who has reviewed and given me the motivation to keep on writing! You mean a lot! **

**Merry Christmas to all of you!**

**Hugs, kisses and best wishes,**

**Maja**

* * *

"Nice of you to join us, Grey" Miranda spat out sarcastically as the blond, meager doctor joined into the group of four, now making a complete amount of five.

"Sorry, I was…" Meredith started, her attempt at an excuse getting turned down by the dominating resident who was easing the heavy load of piling charts in the hands of the interns for their daily torment.

"Stevens, valve replacement with Burke, O'Malley, the chief requested you on a laparoscopic procedure this afternoon. Don't thank me, now get out of my way" She delegated, pausing as her gaze lingered over the leftover ones. "Karev, you're with our deputizing sub attending on GYN"

"What, why? Why not Montgomery-Shepherd? Where is she?"

"Because" She scolded mildly, "Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd is not to be found at this hospital at the present moment."

"Why?"

"Her private life does not include you. Now go!" She hushed him away," Doctor Miller will grace you with multiple vaginal examinations today"

"What about us, doctor Bailey?" Cristina tripped impatiently on her feet, longing to be near the OR again, to drape the latex gloves over her fingers, preparing to cover them with blood from a surgical patient that lied, ready to be sliced open on the table while her fingers tightened around the steel handle on the small knife, her heart rate racing excitedly…

"You two, follow me" She turned around, walking with determination and self-assurance on her short feet towards the ER door. "Bloodbath in the pit"

"Oh, the day's improving, then" A small, relieved gush of air escaped she lips as she pulled on the sterile surgical drape in a rush. Wasting no time, she tied the back strings on her peers.

Miranda disappeared somewhere to the left and Cristina walked with hasty steps into the crowded emergency room, throwing a look behind her shoulder, watching Meredith standing on the exact same spot as before, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

"Meredith" She grabbed her arm briskly, "Come on. We gotta hurry to get the best cases, you know that"

"I'll be right there, you go ahead first" She responded calmly, showing no sign to follow in her direction as first thing.

"Mer?" Cristina questioned, stumped, sensing a sudden change in the mood of her best friend.

"It's nothing" She refused, shaking her head lightly. "I'm just wondering…about Derek…I haven't heard from him yet. I left him three voicemails and he hasn't called back."

"Oh, well, yeah, you're obviously bugging him"

"I'm not bugging him!" Meredith defended sharply, "I just wanna know how he is. I'm his girlfriend, I care about him"

"You do?"

"Of course I do. We're a couple, we do couply things and we're in this together…" She rupted, surprised by her own words, desperately recalling the real Meredith back,"Or whatever…"

Cristina's brows rose higher as a teased grin appeared to her sight. "I get it. You feel threatened by Chucky and you're claiming McDreamy yours. You won't give in to that brat and you want to state your point clearly. The sooner, the better, right?"

"Cristina!"

"What?" She shrugged, "You're using the divide and conquer tactics. That's genius. Sneak in between them and try gaining the support from their both while you're slyly planning on separate father and daughter as you put them up against each other. Think of it like this, Derek is the queen and you and Chucky are the pathetic pawns without any civil right or advanced perks, fighting for his attention"

Meredith frowned. "Derek is a…queen?"

"You've never played chess?"

She shrugged indifferently. "I'm not a geek"

"The queen is the most powerful piece in that game and you're his girlfriend" She carried on," Chucky is his daughter…In this triangle drama Derek is the stronger sex"

"Stop saying Chucky!" Meredith remarked angrily, "She's just a kid! She's probably cute"

"There's nothing cute about short people" Cristina gnashed, "What if she's planning to kill you, staying up late nights, elaborating a possible manslaughter? Shepherd and the she-Shepherd are surgeons, it wouldn't take too much effort for her to sneak inside an OR to get a scalpel…" Her eyes went wide, "And what if she's a redhead? That's a possibility, her mother is…"

A cheeky grin spread across Meredith's face. "Izzie was right, wasn't she?" She defied," Chucky freaks you out. You're scared of him"

Cristina cleared her throat awkwardly, revealing her, until now, disguised fear, "Never was not…"

"It's cute" She said between laugh attacks, "Most people are scared of Itsy Bitsy spiders and sharks and heights and disease and you, Cristina Yang are…pediophobic…"

"Yeah…" She groaned painfully, "You can't wait till Halloween, can you?"

"I absolutely can't" She gloated back. Cristina shrugged and maneuvred her way past Meredith, flipping open the patient chart in her front. She read and checked and double-checked, then signed and threw it back to the leading nurse. Meredith followed her as she pulled one of the curtains aside, a lacerated male patient staring back at her. She hurried to the nearest shelf, ripping open a suture kit as Cristina's assistance and dumped down at the stool next to the bed, pausing before speaking.

"So…You don't think I should worry about Derek, right? He's probably busy" She told Cristina as well as herself. "He has a lot to deal with right now. Ex-wife…Daughter…Ex-house…Ex-work…Divorce…I should back off, right? Give him some space?"

"Yeah…" Her reply was a blunt and careless mumble, her eyes locked on the deep-going cut in front of her.

"Cristina" Meredith lightly scolded. "You're not following me here. Derek is on the other side of the country. With his gorgeous, leggy ex-wife. Some concern can't be that bad, right? I mean, I'm a girl with abandonment issues. I should be concerned if I weren't concerned."

"Meredith, stop talking, I'm working"

Cristina's patient, a man in his late twenties looked up at her, wide-eyed. "Derek? Is that your boyfriend?"

Silently she nodded as Cristina changes looks between the two of them, her mouth hanging open from the inappropriate doctor-patient bonding. "Why is he talking?"

"You shouldn't be concerned" He broke in, failing in a poor attempt to flirt with her, "You're hot. I wouldn't have dumped you. Relax. He's getting a divorce for your sake. You're not the sidetracked woman, I can tell" His vice sentence ended with a throaty burp.

"He's drunk" Cristina said, as if it wasn't too obvious already. "Do not listen to him"

"I might have devoured too many Charbays'" The patient sat up, "But I know what I'm saying. I have a damn long impressive list when it comes to girls"

"Really?" Meredith mocked gently, playing absently with an unprepped syringe. "According to your own reckons I don't have to worry?"

He nodded confidently. "That's what I'm saying"

"So…Mr. Fischer…" Cristina cut them off, throwing a quick glare at the patient information form, "You have one cut that's taken care of but I will consult with plastics and orthopedics for the facial scarring and your sprained ankle. It doesn't look too serious, but I'll order an ex-ray scan just to make sure you haven't incurred yourself a fracture" She slipped off her gloves in one action, desperately coping the urge to get close with the scalpel…"Mer, do the dressing, I'm gonna find myself some cardio. Some chests to be sliced open"

"Wow, she's hardcore" He breathed as soon as Cristina had exited the ER.

"She's not that hardcore" Meredith retaliated, "She's suffering from pediophobia"

He sent her a baffled look. "An unsurpassable fear of dolls and kids?" She nodded, "It that even possible?"

"It is now" Meredith giggled softly as she ripped of the sterile bandage pack. "She's scared of Chucky and I've got severe abandonment issues. We get along well"

The patient was looking at her like he'd just spotted a ghost in broad daylight. "Right…"

"We're dark and twisty" She added informatively, "We don't like bright and shiny. We've fenced ourselves into the abandoned corner of self-destruction and non-existing happily every afters"

He nodded seedily, completely unfamiliar to the piece of words that were rushing out between her lips. "And Derek? That boyfriend of us? He's dark and stunted too?"

"Dark and twisty" She corrected quickly, "No, he's not. Absolutely not. He's bright and bubbly and self-confident and dreamy and generally high on life. His life that consists of leggy ex-wives and potential step-daughters"

"Oh" He gritted his teeth, showing off a pretend- to -be pained expression. "That's not good…"

"What do you mean, not good?" She demanded harshly, "Why is that not good?"

"You know, as long as there's daughters in the picture. Daughters always gets the first priority. You have to get used to be the fifth wagon's wheel"

"What?" Her eyes grew wide, alerted. "I mean I know she's a big part in his life, but she's five. Seriously. She's a kid. She can't have that much power, right?"

"Oh, she can. Indeed" He remarked, death- seriously. "The younger, the more. Father's tend to guard their daughters. They're all perfect and it's never their own fault"

Meredith snorted inwardly. "Derek is a brainsurgeon. He notices things. He would know if she tried to manipulate me"

"Sorry, Doc" He shook his head in refusal. "It doesn't matter how smart a man is, they're blinded by the love for their kid, so if she decides to add you to her hate list and act like a complete devil to you, it would be one word against another"

Meredith bit her lip forcefully as she cleaned up the dispose from the medical care, her mind jamming the same, alarmed tune. She would actually be listed as the number two in his life. _Number two. Is nothing like a number one._

"I'll try. I'll go out of my way to be nice to her. She will like me. She'll be fine with sharing Derek with me. She'll like me. Maybe love me, even" Meredith put up a proving smile, trying to brighten her own mood.

"And how is that gonna happen?" The patient eyed her skeptically, "I mean, you're the dark and twisty one after all"

* * *

"Aahh, this is perfect" Addison laughed triumphantly to herself as she pulled out the tray with twenty flawless blueberry cupcakes from the stove, her nostrils willingly taking in the smell of the fresh baked goods. She left it on top of the stove, admiring the outcome of her latest mission, requiring a tidy kitchen, fresh blueberries, a bag of flour, some sugar, milk, eggs and a small amount of baking powder. She was evolving when it came to kitchen duty. Smiling self-assured, she slipped a strawberry from the bowl on the counter, chewing on the juicy delicious fruit.

It was the morning after their New York homecoming and she had gotten up early, decisive to make her daughter a well-composed, home-made breakfast, consisting of her very favorite, blueberry muffins among with mixed fruits, fresh-pressed juice, toasted whitebread and scrambled eggs. She balanced the arrangement of food on the tray, climbing with easy steps up the staircase to her daughter's room. She knocked once and pushed the door ajar completely open with her elbow, stepping into the darkened room. She switched the light on, smiling at the sleeping forms in front of her.

"Charlotte?" She lowered her voice, placing the tray on her nightstand as she nudged her slightly. "You're awake?" She asked, watching her roll onto her stomach and burying her face into the pillow, breathing steadily, finding herself laughing at her daughter's comatose sleepy state.

"Morning" She heard Derek groan behind her, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes as he stretched out on the small, foldable bed.

"Morning" She replied sweetly, automatically dropping down at his bedside, reaching for the cup of coffee. "Here you go"

"Coffee " He acknowledged gratefully, "Thanks" His eyes wandered over the wide selection of food. "You made all this?"

"I did" She took a small sip of her own cup, "I wanted to surprise her" Her gaze, with Derek's, drifted to Charlotte's sleepy body, her messy curls sprawled out onto the pillow while she was clinging onto Emeralda safely.

"We're owners of the world's most beautiful kid" Derek said after a minute of silent admiration against their hopeful one.

"Yeah…" Addison agreed emotionally, "We are…"

"We did a good job" He spoke softly into the dim air and Addison sent him a mild, confused scowl. "What do you mean?"

Derek scooped out of the bed and moved towards Charlotte's bed, kneeling in front of her as his hand caressed small circles on her cheek. "Making her" He said, not taking his eyes off his sleeping child, "We're good at it. We're a good team. Focused in the OR. Dexterous with the scalpel. Being brilliant lifesavers together. We made the most perfect child in the world" He continued, "You slept with my best friend and I forgave you and now we work together in total piece. Being friends, even. We're pretty great"

"Hold on" Addison held up a finger, her mind stuck on the last sentence. "We're friends? You're serious about it? There's no hard feelings against me anymore? You don't hate me, just a little bit?"

"No" He shook his head while his grin smeared across his face. "We've come to bury the hatchet. We're friends. We greet and we interact and we hang out. Just like now" He nudged her shoulder overenthusiasticly, making her stare at him like he was out of his mind,"Why?"

"Because that's what civilized people do. And we're civilized, existing together in a civilized city"

"And we're… being mature enough…for this?"

"Yes" He clinked his coffee cup against hers, "We're adults, we're parents, we're educated, we're capable of many, many things. Let's shake on it" He held out his hand invitingly, then instantly pulling it back, "No, even better, let's hug on it"

Hesitant and wondering, Addison placed herself in his arms and linked her owns around his muscular back, tapping his shoulder awkwardly.

"That's was…weird…" She admitted the moment they both pulled apart.

"It'll get better" He assured her, followed by a slackened shrug.

In her bed, safely tucked in underneath the bedcovers, Charlotte shifted in her sleep as she mumbled something unintelligible and Addison and Derek exchanged endearing smiles.

"We should wake her up" Derek said, looking over the large breakfast, only waiting to be devoured by them as they both lowered themselves to her bedside. "Charlotte, wake up…Mommy made blueberry muffins" She tried unsuccessfully. She let out a light sigh and sent Derek a quick glance."She's morning grumpy and a heavy sleeper"

He linked his eyebrows together in a deep frown as his mouth dropped open in protest to her latest tell. "You know, I do know my own daughter. I'm fully aware of her customs and daily rituals"

"Yeah…I'm just…sorry" She addressed him an apologetic smile before another thought crossed her mind. "She's ticklish. Let's tickle her awake"

"No questions about that" Derek agreed as he mocked her with a rude smirk. "Wonder where she got that from"

"What?" She instantly stood up in defense to herself, "What do you mean by that?"

The gloaty smile was still banded on his face as he took small, testing turns around her silhouette. "What do you think I'm talking about?"

"I'm not ticklish" She piped back, her voice high-pitched and slightly struck with panicked tones.

"Really?" He let out a nasal laugh as he placed his body dauntingly close to hers, arms crossed over his chest prevailingly.

"I…I…I was" She stuttered, dozens of terrified thoughts for what his next trick would be swarming in her brain. "I was. I'm not anymore. I grew up. It doesn't work on me. Don't bother"

"But I do bother" His feet dragged to her, where she was standing innermost in the room, leaning towards the window sill. "If you're really not that ticklish you should prove to me how wrong I am" He challenged sassily, his fully stretched grin haunting her vision tauntingly.

"I won't" Addison placed both her hands on each sides of her waist demandingly, trying to shove his raging ego and gloating self-assuredness away.

"You will"

"No" She disagreed again.

"Oh, yes" Derek hushed his voice down to a soft and sensual whisper as his lips moved closer to her ear, his warm breath draping her face transiently. Her breath got stuck in her throat for a minute before she inhaled a long, healing breath, her chest rising with it, letting her breasts protrude slightly from behind the simple, black fabric of her top. She gripped the sides of the sill, pressing her body up against the glass as he pushed forwards, closer to her. She couldn't escape much more when his masculine figure covered over the slender curves of her own. The next breath she brought to her lungs was rapid and sharp as he found his position, closely hovering upon her. He broadened his shoulders to let each palm rest on the frame on each side of her. The bloodstream in her body fired off, escalating from head to toe and her limbs trembled slightly, she was sure if she let her hands slip from the casement she would lose balance and flop to the floor. She cured herself inwardly. This was stupid. She shouldn't be weakening in front of her ex-husband and he should certainly not torture her like that! They were adults, and to quote Derek correctly, they were civilized people living together in a civilized city.

He cocked his head forward, filling her nostrils with his sweet, natural wake-up scent. It was…Derek and it smelled…Derek… and it had once been her favorite.

"Derek…" She cleared her throat softly, "We're not doing this…"

"We're not?" He prompted, "And why not?"

"Because…" She tried to inch away from his masterous weight, "Because we're adults, we're too old for this…game or whatever I should call it"

"Come on," He begged throatily, "We're not. And it'll be fun. Where's your adventurous spirit, Addie?"

"For me it won't!" She called out desperately, wriggling past him. "Like I said, I'm done"

The silence fell upon them like a theatrical drapery as he contemplated her amusedly. "You don't think I'm gonna take commands from you, do you?" He slipped in front of her, blocking her way as he herded her back into the corner. Her lips slipped apart, ready to protest, but not a single word were let free. Derek bent down over her, pushing again a little closer. She blinked once, a long pause where her long, grime eyelids sealed the undefinably shade of her eyes, sometimes blue, sometimes a misty grey, sometimes a hint of a lush emerald meadow, sparkling in the dazzling dash of daylight sunshine, sometimes something in between.

She let them open and gazed at Derek's intimidating figure, luring to her eyes. He moved closer, if possible, and put a light hand on her waist. She swallowed a large gulp as her eyes locked with his, wide in astonishment. Was this really happening? She couldn't believe he would ever consider this. He knew her too well. Again, she inhaled a sharp load of air as his mouth came close with each of his body's moves and his lips were close, inches, millimeters, millionth millimeters…

And he tickled her.

"Derek!" She screamed out, fighting to remove his greedy, torturous hands, her annoyance doubling its size when spotting his wide, delighted grin showing off how much he rejoiced himself, seeing her desperately trying to come free.

"You said you were not ticklish anymore" He glorified, tackling her from behind as he clamped an arm around her waist, using the left one to prick her skin sensationally.

"I'm not!" She raised her voice in despair, punching his arm carefully, "I have a new top on and you're tugging on it! Stop it, Derek, please stop!"

"Oh, it's a nice top" He replied, smiling unaffectedly as the forced play kept up on its progress.

"Why not Meredith? Why won't you tickle your own girlfriend? Why me, Derek! Stop it!"

"She's not ticklish. It's boring"

"Meredith is boring?" She sent him a rejoiced look, "You've been together for what? Three, four, five months and she's boring already? Funny"

"I was talking about the non tickling part" He retaliated firmly, "Meredith is anything but boring. She's funny and kind and stubborn…it's insanely cute…" He continued on to his girlfriend's defense, "She's a great doctor, she's gifted and talented. She will become an excellent surgeon one day. She's experimental and adventurous…" The playful grin enlightened his face, "We do experimental and adventurous things together"

"And by 'experimental and adventurous' you mean…sex?"

"I'm not talking to my practically divorced ex-wife about me and my girlfriends…" He looked over at his sleeping daughter, lowering his voice. There were no limits for all those words that had accidentally crept into her ears while secretly listening to adults talk, some being hard to pronounce for a five year old, others being equally hard in advanced grammar while a few others weren't exactly strictly conservative in a style the chief editor in Oxford's dictionary would allow into his written piece. To put it simple they were actually pretty rude…and coarsened…horny…and dirty…

"…Sex life…" He completed, "I'm not talking to you about that"

"I'm not interested anyway" She shrugged loosely as she sat down on the bed's edge, twining one of Charlotte's curly locks around her finger, "I'm not some girl you can use for advantage to satisfy one of your very, very strange fetishes"

"What do you mean?" He popped a sappy strawberry in his mouth, dropping down on the bedside next to her.

"This tickling thing you've got all going on. Some people may actually get a thrill from it but I'm not one of those. So, you better stop" Her voice was stern and decisive, to Derek's pleasure. "Come on, untighten yourself a little bit. We can take advantage of each other. Ticklewise, I mean."

She sent him a quick look, her face without enthusiasm. "You're not ticklish"

"You're right" He said, smiling wryly as he lent slightly closer to her, "But you are"

Addison fell onto the bed, the curve of her back printing into the soft mattress as Derek pinned her down, holding her there with his hands while his fingers hands again went berserk on her milkwhite skin.

"Derek! Stop! I'm serious!" She panted, wriggling desperately under his dominant weight, "I'm out of breath here! Stooop it!"

The on-going turmoil from the two had caught Charlotte off her sleep and Addison's whiny request finally got its accept as they both looked over to their little girl who was rolling onto the side, stirring and moving slightly, blinking twice, flashing her long eyelids before staring at them with sleepily, curious seawater eyes.

"Morning, honey" They said unanimously, both crawling up the bed to place one big, wet morning kiss on each side of her cheeks.

"Morning" She joined in brightly as she rubbed her tired, yet so sparkly eyes. Derek grabbed her waist and lifted her onto his lap, embracing her while rocking her in his arms, gently and rhythmically. "Did you have a good night's sleep?"

"Yes" She nodded, leaning out of his arms to reach her stuffed frog before linking her arms around Derek's neck again, the green pet hanging loosely from her hand. "Did you play?"

"What?" Derek's eyes lit up, "What do you mean?"

"Mommy was shouting and you were laughing" Charlotte explained detectively, "Did you play?"

"Yeah…" Addison cut in, "We were kind of playing…"

"What kind of playing?" Charlotte pushed, "Did you have sex?"

Her last pronouncement made Addison and Derek double their eye size as disbelieved and horrified looks welled over their faces. Their daughter had lived through no more than five birthdays, five Christmases, five thanksgivings…and she was talking about sex!

"Charlotte…" Addison hushed down, hoping she could vanish those mature words away from her juvenile, though so genius mind.

"Didn't you have sex?"

"May I ask why…," Addison cleared her throat, forcing up her stern parental voice, "From exactly where did you pick up that word?"

"Uncle Mark" She shrugged, "He says it a lot when he's talking to Charlene"

Addison nodded warily as Derek shook his head bitterly, his eyes narrowing into a pair of thin, pothole streaks as he outdraw a provoked gush while muttering angrily underneath his breath. "Yeah, from where else would she learn such a thing..."

"Derek… Not here…" Addison scolded light-heartedly, spotting his resentful response. She eased herself up from the small bed and gripped for the food tray, trying to navigate their attention away from the man who would be a constant reminder to her life's biggest balk. "I made us breakfast" She spoke up cheerfully, arranging the loads of food onto three different plates, smiling as she handed Charlotte a large glass of fresh pressed juice. Her eyes and mouth widened in unexpected surprise and she gripped around the glass with greedy hands. "Mommy, you made blueberry muffins!"

"I did" She said, dropping one of the baked sweets into her hand with a smile. "I made them especially for you"

"Thank you, Mommy!" Charlotte said enthusiastically, her mouth stuffed full with one of the many blueberry flavored ones, "Can I eat them all?"

"All of them?" She interrogated with a small laugh, "So me and Daddy are gonna do what, starve?"

"You can eat the toast and eggs" She replied easily, "I'm little and I need to grow so I need food" She broke off the last piece from her muffin, ripping off the paper liner.

Derek and Addison exchanged amused looks, humoring over her self defensive. "She is good" Derek nodded approvingly, "It's almost convincing" He put a hand on his stomach, "But I feel for a cupcake this morning"

"It's not a cupcake, it's a muffin!" Mother and daughter reprimanded, both greedily chewing on the sweet breakfast.

"Alright, then. Muffin" Derek established as he dropped down onto his stomach beside Charlotte, "May I have some?"

She clutched her lips together, contemplating on whether or not her father was a muffin's worthy. "Okay!" She gave in, agreeing. She broke the one half into small pieces, feeding them to him, one by one, into his mouth. "You do like them, daddy?"

"Mm, I do" He swallowed, gaping for more, "Mommy makes good muffins" He sent Addison a swift wink, making her blush involuntarily. Ex-wife or not, Derek was Derek eventually and it would take time and effort to recover from his ocean blue eyes and the deep, mysterious, undefined gaze. She slipped her head in the opposite direction, avoiding him as well as could be done, swirling a strand of red behind her ear before brushing the crumbles off her shirt, standing up straight.

"So…" She said, turning to Charlotte while her fingers circled around the cup of coffee she held close to herself, "I talked to Amanda this morning to tell her you won't be showing up in kindergarten for a while"

Charlotte instantly looked up, "How long is that?"

She passed Derek a helpless look, counting on him to take lead of the conversation.

"Well…" He started cautiously, "We're going to Seattle and you get to see new, fun things and meet other people. There are kindergartens in Seattle too, honey. I'm sure you'll get some new friends there"

"But I don't want to lose my old friends" She poorly protested, dropping her gaze to the floor. Addison eyed Derek expectantly and he looked back at her, his look challenging.

"You won't" They finally stated, in complete unison. "We'll be back. Seattle is just…temporarily…" Derek said, his reassuring voice perfectly balanced even though he had no idea whether he was disclosing the truth or not.

There were hopeful tones in Charlotte's whispering voice. "Do you promise?"

Derek swallowed as he saw Addison's sharp look in the corner of his eye, demanding him to do this as painstaking as possible. But then again, was it really a way to do this nicely without picking up a lie?

"I promise" The words were out of his mouth before he could even think and he pulled Charlotte close, embracing her tightly, pressing her face to his chest to shield her from his troubled expressions. Lying was a necessity sometimes, wasn't it? As long as you knew how to lie the right way?

* * *

"How's it going in here?" Derek said cheerfully as he crossed the doorstep to his old office in the respective Manhattan medical practice where he and Addison had been partnering together no longer than months ago. He'd decided to take one last drop-in to perform one last examination on a particularly advanced neurological case, and to collect his files and records along with more personal stuff like family pictures and colorful drawings that lined across the wall, his daughter's imaginative artistry coming into full focus in the grand room.

They both looked up, Addison placed in his leathery office chair, minutely going through some of her medical notes, regarding some of her Seattle post-op patients, her glasses professionally lingering on her nosetip. They'd decided to company him, waiting for him to finish up before they would pick up some lunch and take a turn to Central Park where Derek's sister, Kathleen and her two lads would be waiting for them.

"I'm finished!" Charlotte responded eagerly from where she sat on the edge of his desk, letting her feet dangle loosely in the air. She held up a piece of paper that was showing off the outline of a human skeleton, the fields beside the bones and knuckles being blank for her to fill in the names of the most appreciable and important ones, and with a little help from Addison, she had tagged them all.

Derek brought the paper to his face, closely studying every designation, "Let's see…Clavicle, scapula, sternum, rib bones, cervical …vertebrae…?" He paused, looking over to Addison, eyeing her suspiciously, "You helped her? That's cheating"

"With the trickiest ones, yes" She complied, "I'm just spreading my knowledge"

"Right…" He nodded slowly, letting his eyes drift over the sheet again, "Thoracic Vertebrae…Lumbar vertebrae, Coccyx, Pelvic, Carpals, metacarpals, mandible…Impressive, Addison" He faked a smile, to her annoyance.

"Hey" She remarked, "I did the vertebraes only. Charlotte filled in the rest"

"I did!" She exclaimed proudly, "Do I get all of them right?"

"It seems like it…" His eyes went over the submitted task once more, pausing at his favorite part, his specialty. "Here's a wrong one" He placed the paper on the desk, pointing precisely, receiving intent looks from Charlotte and Addison. "I don't see the skull or the cranium placed or written anywhere."

"There" Charlotte said, pointing at the top to where the words _the brain_ were scripted in.

"The brain is an organ, not a bone"

"But that's the same thing"

No, princess, it's not" Derek disagreed ,smiling. The skull is the surrounding bone, protecting the head and the brain against injury.

"Yes!" She lightened up, "And the brain is the pink, soft thing underneath that with all those lines"

"You know exactly how to put it right" He chuckled softly as he kissed the crown of her head, "So, how should we rate this work?"

"A+!" She cried out excitedly, acting precocious, "I think I deserve it"

"Give her a B" Addison stated, "So she doesn't get too boasted. That way, she got something to strive for too"

"I'm afraid that's too late. She already is. Just like me"

Addison rolled her eyes and reached for the paper, scripting a large letter B with her red marker as she gave it back to Charlotte, her face dropping. "A B" She said, non-enthusiastic while Derek and Addison exchanged amused glances.

However, her pouty mood seemed to vanish away drastically as she spotted the office door on the other side of the hall drop open, the much talked about plastic surgeon coming into full appearance. Mark was sipping on a takeout cappuchino while occupying himself talking medicine to a long, slim brunette, her pink scrubs stigmatizing her as one of the practice's many nurses.

"Look!" Charlotte exclaimed, "It's uncle Mark!"

She abandoned her stuff and before they both knew, she had crossed the doorstep, sprinting down the hallway after him.

Derek sat back speechless, anger welling in his veins. And his fists. He would for sure beat him up if it hadn't been for Charlotte's around-being.

"What is he doing here?" He spat out detestfully, turning the whole focus towards Addison who lent over to desk, her face buried in her hands. "He's working here" She stated obviously

"I won't let him near her" He pushed himself up, determination showing off his steps as well as his voice.

"Derek, wait!" Addison swarmed behind him, "don't do anything stupid, I know you can't stand him right now, but he's good to her. Derek!" She called for the second time, trying somehow to slacken his race with her voice.

"Uncle Mark!" Charlotte turned the corner and outdid the distance in a rush. He turned around and twisted his lips into a wide, genuine smile that was not to be mistaken. He handed the woman his caffeine and instantly bent down, ready to catch her when she would toss herself into his arms. "Hey, little you! Haven't seen you in a while"

"I've been busy" She said precociously, "Daddy's here"

Mark let his mouth drop open slightly, staring at her bewildered while trying to restore his mind after the explosive news. "He…He…is?" She nodded eagerly. "What about mommy?" Charlotte opened her mouth to answer, but Addison got ahead as they both showed up behind them. "I'm here too"

Mark fought the strength to look the once happily, married couple in the eyes, his eyes lingering on Addison's sublime figure, her neat choose of clothing and the perfect wavy flames in her glorious mane of hair. But she looked tired. By closer look he could spot small, dark circles underneath her eyes and a small streak of a wrinkle around her mouth. She had changed. To the less attractive. Not that it would bother him but according to her own definitions of straight-cut beauty, she would have thought so. And even her brilliant labeled make-up assortment couldn't hide that.

"Addison" He heard himself greet.

"Mark" She retorted weakly. He looked over to her "better" half, being welcomed with ice cold glares and threatening fists in clench. "Let her down"

"Derek" he acknowledged, slightly humbled to stand face to face with his best friend who he had once deceived in the worst possible way. Post- best friend would be a proper term. "How's Seattle?"

"Let her down" The accumulated anger escaped his lips, through his voice, "Charlotte, get down" His eyes wandered impatiently to his daughter, "We're leaving"

"No" She refused, snuggling into his neck while flicking on the pen in his labcoat pocket indifferently.

"Charlotte" He repeated frigidly, his patience starting to tear up.

"Did you buy the house?" She asked Mark, wide-eyed, completely ignoring Derek's commanding tone.

"No, I didn't. Some fancy lawyer with a big family got it. Maybe next time…" Derek cut him off, "Charlotte! Get over here, now!"

"No, I don't want to! I want to stay with uncle Mark!" She held onto him for dear life, her loud, aching cries filling the wide room's walls. Reluctantly, he dropped her down on her feet, bending down to lock his eyes with hers. "I have to work today" He excused softly, "Next time, I promise"

"There will be no next time" Derek snapped, gripping her small arm tightly, letting his anger tightening the hold on her even more as she cried out. "You're hurting me!"

"Do listen to me, Charlotte. I barely touched you" His voice was harsh, the sound of it violent, making her look at him with wide, alarmed eyes. Addison kneeled in front of her, lifting her, embracing her, comforting her while stroking her arm tenderly.

"Let's just get out of here" He sighed after a small pause, impatiently waiting for them to follow up. Addison tripped obediently behind him on her nine -hundred –and- something stilettos and a terrified kid in her arms.

"So, you're talking to Addison and not me?" Mark's sudden voice induced a sudden abode in his movements. "I'm supposed to be the bad guy in all this?"

Derek flamed back, "Who else should it possibly be?"

"Has your brain ever knocked in the fact that the person might be you?" He challenged, "You left without a word and now, several months later you're back, expecting everyone to stand up for you?" He could see his eyes narrowing into furious lines before he dropped another look on Addison, "And Addison, being a drunk for months, giving up on her responsibilities and living behind closed curtains with a bottle Bombora each day?" He paused, taking in their outraged expressions, Addison's in particular, "If there was such a price named 'the world's lousiest parents, you would both conquer on the first place"

* * *

"Hi" Addison said as she paused in the doorway, unbuttoning her coat while contemplating the vision of Derek in front of her, crashed on the couch in his pajama pant and an old t-shirt, one hand closed around the whisky glass as the pictures on the TV flimmered violently in the dark room.

"She's sleeping?" She took a place next to him, spotting a plate with the bread's crusts left on and an empty milk glass beside it.

Lazily, he brought the alcohol to his lips, gritting his teeth while swallowing. "Yeah"

She nodded and hauled the coat off herself, draping it over the couch side. "Derek…we need to talk…" She breathed, "I'm sorry I left, I just needed some time to think…" She turned to look at him, only met with the profile of his face as his eyes were glued to the TV screen, letting the commercials pass his vision unperceived.

"I know you're shocked and I never wanted you to find out from Mark…It was wrong and I regret it, you have no idea, but I missed you Derek…I missed you then…"

Getting no response, she kept on anyway, "When you left…you gave up on us…And I had to adjust to that and all that alcohol seemed like the right thing at the time…" A small laugh prevented her from the growing lump in her throat, "It was a mistake and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Derek, but I can explain…"

He placed the glass on the table with a forced thud, glaring at her from the corner of his eye. "Why don't you explain yourself in the court instead?"

"What?" Wrinkles were forming on her forehead as she frowned, "What?"

"You heard me" He answered bluntly as he abandoned his place on the couch, walking with slow steps towards the kitchen. "I called my lawyer and arranged a meeting tomorrow. At noon. When I get back, you'll be out of my house" He poured a generous amount of his special malted scotch into his glass, his tone straight and unaffected.

With her heartbeat quickening its rhythm alarmingly, she jumped off from the large pillows, sprinting towards him. "You're lying" She stated loudly, most to reassure herself, without succeeding at it. "You've said that before…You're not capable to do that, Derek…You're jiving me here…right?"

"Call my lawyer if you have a hard time believing me" He slipped up a business card from his pocket, his icy look freezing her completely on her spot. Derek raised his glass in a toast to her, smiling grimly as he took off up the stairs. "Good night"

"Derek!" Her breath got caught in her throat as she trotted up each step behind him. "No! You can't do that! You don't understand! I didn't drink in front of her!" A soft sob escaped her throat, being emotionally accompanied with a single tear to drain her cheek. "I love her! You can't do that!"

"I don't care, Addison. I don't care how much you love her, you have an exceptional way in showing it off"

"Derek…" She supplicated among tears, reaching for his arm, only to be pushed off as he ruthlessly remarked, "Tomorrow, at twelve"


	8. Chapter Eight: Losing My Mind

**Morning! Or afternoon or evening or night, depending on wherever you are: )**

**I hope you had wonderful, memorable Christmas days with your family and beloved ones and I wish you a happy new year! **

**Thank you so incredible much for last chapter's reviews. They mean a lot, as always!**

**I hope you're happy to see that I actually updated and I hope you like it, although I feel that both Derek and Addison are so totally out of character in this. **

**There's more drama waiting below but it will work out. For the better. I have a few ideas for the next one and it will be posted a day not far from this.**

**Likin', hating? Let me know!**

* * *

The constant, seemingly ever-lasting shouting, crying, begging and blaming were noising violently outside her room and she sat up bewildered in bed, clutching her pet with both hands. Her parents would never fight like this but the familiar voices, turning into completely unfamiliar noxious tunes only stated and intensified her gnawing inner fear.

"Derek!" Addison was sobbing on the other side of the door, stalking his heels down the hallway, "You can't do that! I am sorry! I am sorry. Derek!"

"It's over, Addison. You screwed up. It came to light, finally. You've proved what a sad excuse of a mother you are" He said calmly as he forced up their bedroom door, designated for her closet. He showed the large doors apart, starting to tear each one of her designer's apparels from the hanger, letting them all unite in a messy bundle on the bed's edge. "You should get some boxes" He remarked dryly, contemplating over the unruly pile of clothes.

"Derek…" She whispered, her hand gently wiping away the salty liquid in her eyes that made her mascara flow in rough currents down her cheek. "You can't do this to me"

He looked at her, prolonging the tensed minute of silence torturously before shocking his head dismissively, "I won't let a drunk be around my child"

"Derek…" She made it till no longer than the pronouncement of his name before he cut her off unscrupulously. "Stop saying my name! Stop looking at me like you're looking at your husband! We're done! We're over!" He barked in his full outburst, "And thanks to your poor skills in mothering, you will have to fight like hell just to throw a look at her ever again"

"No" She refused, showing off her disapprove with a brisk shake with her head, blinking hard in order to hold back the wetness in her eyes that was threatening mercilessly to remodel itself into salty, drop formed tears. "I'll move out, sign the papers, and you're free, but you cannot take her away from me"

He stared back only. No final remark, no self-explanatory headshake, or nod. No heartbreaking comments. As if she hadn't been given them already.

With a turn on his heel he left, abandoning Addison in their bedroom, surrounded by a stack of fashionable garments, the sewn labels naming them Gucci, Christian Dior, Roberto Cavalli, Lanvin, Osar de la Renta, Prada, Valentino…The list went on. She looked at them, touched the pure silk, the flawless velvet and the woolen fabric and she could just as well have been looking at some sort of sordid rags.

She lifted off the top of the clothing tower, letting her fingers touch the familiar piece of satin, being the jupon that had been once used underneath her wedding dress. Digging further deep, she found the main piece. The skirt was ruffled and she could spot a small, almost transient spot over the pearl embellished uppers, right above the chest. Leaving it no time for hesitation, she stuffed the pompous clothing back in, shutting the closet doors harshly shut. The dress had once been pretty.

"You're not doing this to me" Determination in her voice was stronger by now as she slipped in front of him, blocking him out. "You're not doing this, Derek. You have no right to, "She took a much needed seconds pause, "I did a horrible mistake, I wasn't there for Charlotte and I regret that so badly, every day. I did a horrible mistake. But so did you. And I'm not punishing you because I know you're human and you did a mistake"

Responsive, he nudged his head detestfully. "How the hell can you even compare the two of us? Just to state the obvious, I left because of you. Because** you** screwed my best friend, because **you** cheated on me, because **you** broke our family!"

The quiet coughing from the end of the hallway made them both turn around, facing themselves with a wide-eyed girl, horror lining upon her face.

"Honey, what are you doing up this late?" Derek spoke softly as he knelt down in front of her while Addison fought the urge to snort loudly at the drastic change of tone in his voice.

"I couldn't sleep…"

"Why not?" He wondered, making it even harder for her to not make up a face. He had been yelling at her, accusing her of bad parenting and fatally wrong decision making before stabbing her mentally over and over again with a mother's worst fear; Being separated from her child. No wonder she had a hard time drifting off to dreamland.

"Because you and Mommy are fighting…" Charlotte said quietly, speaking Addison's mind.

"We're not fighting, we're just…arguing..." He lied, "We discuss things. Grown-ups do that sometimes."

"Oh…" She replied timidly, lowering her gaze to the floor, "Are you mad?"

"No" Derek frowned, "Of course we're not mad at you. Come here, let's get you back in bed" He reached out to grab and lift her in his arms, carrying his daughter safely back into her room but to his surprise and Charlotte's reticent response, she flinched away to grab Addison's hand. "I want Mommy…"

Addison nodded warily as a wry smile curved on her lips, "Okay"

She weaved Charlotte's small fingers with her owns as they walked the steps to her room, leaving Derek speechless in his place.

"Mommy?" Charlotte asked softly half-an hour later, breaking the long silence. She was safely tucked in underneath the warm sheets, her back facing her mother, giving Addison room to free her tears unnoticed. She forced them away with one hand while the other circled around her tiny waist. "What, honey?"

Charlotte rolled over to Addison's side, looking up expectantly. "Why are you and Daddy fighting?"

Twisting her brain for an easy answer, she brushed her hair away from her face, plucking off a strayed leftover hairpin in the back of her head. "Daddy told you why. We're discussing. Adults do that sometimes"

"But why?" She persisted, "You don't have to yell at each other even if you discuss things"

"That's true" She nodded, for once wishing for Charlotte to not hold a reflected mind as advanced as she actually did. "But you shouldn't worry about this. Daddy is not mad at you. Neither one of us are"

There was a quiet second, giving Charlotte the time to philosophize over her parent's extraneous behavior towards each other before she let out another query. "So he's mad at you?"

Addison closed her eyes in despair over her daughter's ongoing, genuine curiosity while draping a blanket over her warm, cosy duvet cocoon. "Go to sleep" She whispered demandingly and there was a following moment where silence surrounded them and Addison let herself believe she had finally reached her sleepy, peaceful state. Until it would prove otherwise.

"Daddy has changed" Charlotte sighed suddenly, playing absently with the ruffled skin on her favorite animal.

"What do you mean?" She wondered, acting completely ignorant to her, although she knew he had changed. They both had. Presumedly, for the worse. "Well, so have you. Your hair is longer, you're taller, you're older…"

"I don't mean like that" Charlotte stanched her, "Daddy looks all the same but he is different. Did you hurt him, Mommy?" She rolled over onto her stomach, quickly facing her mother, her voice upset as well as the tumult in her eyes. "Are you sure I didn't do something bad? Because I know my daddy and he is not the same as before…"

…_Before I screwed daddy's best friend and he fled the scene, leaving you there, terrified and alone with your drunk mother…_ Addison put an end to Charlotte' sentence in her head.

"Of course you didn't do something bad" Her focus was again drawn towards her daughter, "It was both mommy and daddy's fault, never yours"

"Do you promise to never leave me?" She said flimsily, fishing for a guarantee, an insurance for life, for her mother to not take the same path her father had lurched himself onto, leaving her heartbroken and psychically scarred, scars that would not completely erase the second he arrived back in her life. Scars that were still deep and obvious, if not apparitional to the stranger world outside, her heart was bruised and beaten, her mind suspicious to love and trust, troubled from earlier violated promises.

Addison shivered from those words. Yes, **she** would never leave her, **she** would always be there. Question was, would Derek let her?

"Yes" She whispered out in the dark, holding her close so they could share each other's body warmth, "I promise, I'll never leave you"

"Can you stay with me tonight?" Charlotte hoped, wanting to drift off to sleep and to avoid the dark, threatening room and the harsh breath of wind outside while raindrops splashed on her window rhythmically, wishing for her mother would be there to guard her through the night.

"Yes" She stroked her hair softly, relieved to have a reason not to face Derek and his loathe for her for the next eight hours.

"I'll stay here…Tonight, I'll stay…"

* * *

"Jerry" Derek greeted politely as he peeked into the open office door, spotting the middle-aged, complex-build lawyer standing over the desk, his arms crossed defensively while his attention leaped over the many documents that was handed to him by his assistant. He immediately recognized Derek's voice and he let his mind drift off from his present occupation, raising his hands in a welcome, "Shepherd! Come in"

"Am I interrupting anything?" Derek's eyes wandered to the young male assistant, "I can come back if the timing is inappropriate…"

"No, no! Come in, Hunter was just leaving. I did have our appointment memorized. It's just a busy time. I'm in court three times a week" He shoved the document stack away, addressing his helper harshly, "Give us some coffee. Make sure it won't kill me this time. Shepherd, take a seat" He waved him inside. Derek sent the assistant an apologetic smile as he passed in a rush.

"You're harsh on the subs" He remarked as he took a seat in one of the large leather chairs.

"I won't believe you're any different towards your interns" He commented sarcastically, hovering around the desk to settle behind it, Derek giving him a nod of admit.

"So…" He showed his glasses back up his nose while digging through the raging paperwork. "You're here because of certain custody issues…Family law, that's not my field, for sure. I voice the cause of the murders. They come to me, expect about twenty years, multiplied with five, behind the bars and I let them back in free life" He cleared his throat, "There are exceptions, of course, but from what I've heard, you don't hold a loving memory towards them. I'm on their side, basically. You should be hating guys like me"

"I still need your help" Derek responded flatly, "You're the best"

"To correct you" He reminded him, "The best in my field. I haven't been in touch with this kind of trivialities since I was a starter"

"You've got it in your jaw. You know how to float on the evidence, to front and support each prove that goes in my favor and to devastate whatever judge there is with each one of the counterpart's mistakes and aberrations, along with noticeable lack of judgement in the tasks of breeding and parenting. You gonna speak my case and you gonna win" Derek's voice was harsh and utterly decisive.

"It won't be cheap" He shook his head, bringing the glasses to his hands to chew absently on the side.

"How much?" Derek challenged, "I'll write a check"

"A hundred"

"A hundred grand?" Derek said, mouth wide open in disbelief.

"Do you know how much I gain, financial wise, not to talk about a rising reputation, from each beaten case? Do you know how much esteem I lose in my sphere, taking on a custody case like this?" He paused, "You get to be the good Samaritan when performing pro bono surgeries on the hospital's premises, although you get paid, the money goes in your pocket. It's the same for my piece of work, just without a fancy, charity act blanketing the trial. Family cases like this aren't much popular in law world, especially not in this fifth avenue practice. Like I said, it's not cheap. You should be happy I'm even considering helping you. If you were a, let's say, plumber, I wouldn't even give it a shot. I'm doing this because you're known for your work. Life's corrupt"

"You're insane" Derek snapped, tossing the signed check note in front of him.

"And you're not?" He frowned, "Who's planning to take your kid away from her mother? Because she screwed someone other than you? Is this some sort of attempt to avenge on her?"

Derek shook his head violently, "It's not about that. It's not about the cheating part. She's a drunk. She was drunk and she left the parental responsibility to…Mark" The accent of his name was blended with phobia and complete disgust.

"And Mark is…?" Jerry prompted.

"He's the man who was supposed to be my best friend, who accidentally slept with my wife and, according to her, he was 'just there' when it happened"

"Sweet" He muttered dryly, "Did he take good care of her? Is he a mentally healthy and dependable person?"

Derek snorted on the inside. Someone would surely think of Mark as the radical opposite. He would. But in this place, being faced with the hot-shot lawyer that Jerry was, he found himself forced to speak the truth without weaving in his personal aspect.

"Yes" He sighed, "He is trustworthy and mentally and physically by perfect health."

Jerry let the pen slip from his fingers to land on his wooden desk, frustrated. "I can't really see the gruesomeness in this. You wife got drunk, who doesn't? She wasn't around and your daughter was taken care of" He let his gaze fall over the papers, "Charlotte Lauren, it is?"

Derek nodded, "Right"

There was a long pause before he spoke up. "I could go on with this trial, but do you really want that? Have some perspective, Derek. No one came harmed out of this situation. She had too much to drink, you left. What's the worst part? Personally, I've made up some thoughts of my own about that…"

"You're not backing out on this" Derek said firmly, "I just signed a ridiculously overprized check and you're gonna do this. I'm not doing this for myself, don't you dare insinuate that. I'm thinking on my daughter's welfare and she's better off without a drunk mother"

Before he got the chance to oral his reply there was a light knock at the door, Hunter entering with one paper cup in each hand, black, steamy coffee poured up in its inside.

"About time" Jerry snatched for the caffeine.

"It's not Starbucks but it wakes up your mind" The assistant excused as he handed the other to Derek. He took a quick sip, smiling satisfied. "It's good"

"I'm glad you approve, Doctor" He said, returning Derek's placid expression before it faded drastically the minute Jerry bored his eyes on him, his fingers tapping impatiently for him to leave the room, and with a turn on his heel, he escaped in a rush.

Derek placed the paper cup at the desk, swinging one leg over the other as he sat up, vigilant, "Addison has proved to me, and to everyone, that she fails as a caretaker. I hired you and you're gonna take on this case. You're gonna win and the jury will let me take her away from this city and its unhealthy growth conditions."

"So, basically you want to drag her away from her familiar environments?" Jerry pushed, "And what if she says no? What if she refuses to be apart from her mother?"

He slipped back into a relaxed position in the large chair, "I'll take care of that. I'm not losing my mind, of course she'll miss her mother, but I'll rebuild that safe wall around her, she'll settle in Seattle, new people will be introduced into her life, I'll build us a house, we'll search for the right school for her…She will get the adolescence she so much deserves"

"Sounds like there's one thing driving you to do this" The lawyer stated seriously, "Ruining Addison Shepherd's life"

"The one thing driving me to this" Derek adjusted his words, "is to protect my daughter, regarding on what's the best for her" He took a pause, pictures of Addison showing up in his mind involuntarily and his jaw mergered angrily while his pulse drummed its own, violent rhythm, the pictures being etched in his brain, the night he found **them.** **She** on top of **him. Her **back facing Derek while **her** body bounced lightly, **her** butt rising with each thrust from **him.** Moans and throaty groans. Deep and passionate smacks. Fiery hair draped along milky white skin. Three words from **him**, swirling in the air, stinging in his ears. Three words from **him **to** her. **_I love you_.

And **she** reciprocated.

"I'm doing this for her" Derek heard himself say, the pictures fading before blacking out totally. "Everything else would be the icing on the cake"

* * *

It was in the bar he noticed her. He was acquiring himself a drink after an insanely stormy workday. The bartender poured him the regular one, whisky on the rocks and he was settling in one of the stools in front of the desk, taking regular swigs of his drink while watching the redhead closely. She was one of a minority. Sure, there were a lot of them but they were easily outdone by blondes and brunettes, and for a reason. He had never been a fan of angry women and redheads were especially known for their temper.

And she was one, sexy, feisty piece.

It had to be her, it had to.

Slowly, he eased from his seat, walking confidently towards her. "Mrs. Shepherd" He greeted, sneaking back to call out her name behind her shoulder, "Or should I say Ms. Montgomery? I guess you're officially degraded now"

Instantly, she shot her head to the side, a thin, interrogative line forming on her forehead, "I'm sorry? You are?"

"Jerry Hewitt" He lent towards the desk complacently, "I'm Manhattans best defense attorney, also known as Manhattans greatest jackass" He smiled as he saw her dig into her purse for something, her movements freezing instantly while proclaiming himself as the man he was. "I take that as you've heard about me"

A shocked silence came as her only response before he chose to spin up the conversation, smiling triumphantly as he did. "Where's your daughter?"

"With my…" She held back suddenly, raising her voice slightly, "You think I abandon her so I can go out, putting my need for a drink into life?"

"Yes" He said indifferently, "From what I've heard, I think you're capable of such a thing"

"What did Derek tell you?" She prompted desperately, "Because I can assure you…"

He cut her off, "I can't tell you what my client might and might not have said. Confidentiality" He explained, "you should know about that"

Addison placed her empty glass to the desk, shaky-handed. "Derek…" She stammered, "He…he's unaware…He's furious and angry and he wants every worst part happening to well over me but...He can't do this…He's taking her from me and you're helping him! How can you possibly do that? How can you fair that?"

"I may not completely agree with his decision, it is pretty drastic after all, but it's my job and he came to me, offering me a nice-priced pay-off…"

"How much?" Addison began fumbling for her wallet, "I'll pay you even more. Money is not an issue, just make this stop. He can't do this to me…"

"Sorry about that" He showed her purse back into her lap, "I have to stay faithful to my clients. They trust me. I have a job to do" He looked at the two empty glasses in front of her and grinned slyly, "And thanks to our little concurrence in this drunken place, you just made it so much easier" He grabbed the one glass, "I'll keep this as evidence" He held it up, as to cheer, "See you in court"

* * *

The heavy downfall with rain, along with a rapidly sinking temperature and breezy, chill air had made the uptown streets slippery and Addison had to focus hard and watch her every step not to steep and trip on her inappropriate heels. Damn, she could have taken a cap. She should have taken a cab. But again, she didn't want anyone to see her in this condition, did she? She wasn't Addison right now, she was some tipsy, sleazy woman with absolutely no control on her life and no one was going to throw a look at her miserability.

With slow steps, she climbed up the stairs that led to the front door of her mother in-law's house. Inhaling an unsteady breath, she looked up to admire the view. It was rather small, but it was a home.

She pressed on the doorbell and let her fingers fare over her face, trying to dry away some of the smeared mascara, tears and rain both responsible for the black mess.

She could hear the creaking sound of the stairs from inside and a second later the lights in the hallway were turned on.

The door lock twisted and Carolyn appeared in the doorway, her eyes enlarging in shock from what was greeting her on the outside, Addison standing there, soaked and teary, showing no semblance to the Addison she knew.

She was gasping as she spoke. "Addison…"

"I know you had a hard time liking me. I'm spoiled and rich and privileged. And I know that, deep down, you hate me for cheating on your son and you don't own me anything…" A heartfelt sob was squeezed in between her lines.

Carolyn took a step forward, processing each word.

"…But Derek is taking Charlotte away from me…"She went on, broken-hearted, "And I don't have anyone…My friends are all into their perfect lives and perfect marriages and my own mother is too busy to talk to me…And you've always been there for everyone, even me. So I'm asking you to just be here for me, just this last time because I don't have a place to come home to anymore…except this…And I don't have anyone to turn to…except you…"

Carolyn's mouth was left wide open in bewildered shock. He couldn't have done that, could he? He wasn't capable of such a thing?

Another tear spilled from Addison's cheek from where she stood, on the other side of the doorstep. Her soaked coat was glued to her body, so was her, normally, voluminous hair.

Instantly, she felt her mother genes unfolding and taking over and she embraced her stepdaughter tightly. Once one, always one.


	9. Chapter Nine: An Honest Mistake

**Happy Saturday!**

**There's a lot of talk in this update. Lot's of sorting talk. Way too much, maybe. But I decided things needed some clearing up. So it's a bit boring but I can assure you Derek is starting to reflect on his actions.**

**A huge thank you to all of you who reviewed last chapter, wow! So many kind words, and I guess 'heartbreaking' was a description used repeatedly by you! It's not all happy and cheery yet but it will get better. Pinky promise.**

**Leave me your thought! It makes me grateful!**

* * *

"What is this?" Derek was standing in the center of the kitchen at his mother's place, his arms folded defensively for the sight in front of him, Addison and Carolyn sitting expectantly on each side of the table. Addison hair was tucked into a towel turban and every bit of her normally so preen eye makeup had disappeared in mysterious ways, only thin, black streaks drawing pathways down the structures of her face. She was sitting barefoot, her pedicured toes striking gently at the dark wooden floor, her body finding heat in an ugly, lanky, mustard colored knitted sweater, immediately dragging him back to the happy seventies and his older sister's handiwork school project. Her fingers circled around a large porcelain cup, small, flourishing clouds of damp swirling up the edge from the hot content. With a small lift of her head, she looked up, her large,mysterious eyes locking with Derek's.

Responsive, he narrowed his, letting two thin, hateful streaks knock her in return and she instantly dropped her head to the table, letting her eyes fare over, absently counting the petals of the small, multicolored buttercups that were printed all over the table's wax cloth.

"Sit down" Carolyn got up, letting her hand instruct him to settle beside Addison. "You two are going to talk"

"I'm not sitting with her" He refused stubbornly, "What's going on? Why did you tell me to come? What's so important?"

"Sit down." She reclaimed, her voice a tone stricter this time.

"I am not taking a seat next to her" He was standing his ground, his folded arms pressed to his chest while protesting firmly.

"Stop acting like a toddler!" Her unexpected shout made them both look up, surprised and bewildered. Carolyn was not a person to raise her voice needlessly but when a certain situation required so, she wasn't hard to ask. "This is not a request, it's a demand! Sit down!"

At the age of 38, he was still not able, or fearless enough, to disobey his mother and Derek took a seat at the edge of the chair, moving his body as far away from Addison as it would only let him.

"Mom, what's going on?" Derek snapped impatiently, "I have patients to see, a meeting to get to, a daughter to pick up…"

"You don't know what's going on?"

"Well, expect from the fact that my Satanic ex-wife here screwed around behind my back and ending up as a drunk and neglecting my child's needs, I don't have a lot of theories."

Addison looked down and Carolyn placed her hands on her hips, eyeing him angrily. She took numerous turns around the large table, their heads tilting in her direction to follow each one of her magistral, consistent steps curiously.

There was a silent jiffy following while she put a frustrated breath to exhale, leaning onto the table, her hands gripping the edge of it as her eyes fared between them demandingly.

"You've been parents for five years. I've been one for forty-two. And I know, with absolute certainty that my little sweetheart will, one way or another, commit to things that stirs you up. She's innocent and adorable at this present time and we've all fallen for her charming entity and heart- melting comments. It's simply impossible not to love her. But if you believe life as a parent will stay this way for the rest of your days on this earth, you better adjust to the truth." Her palm dropped to the table's hard wood with a slap to state her point's seriousity, "And I've come to known about the truth, raising five kids, partly by myself. You've been ignorant to my requests, doing the pure opposite of what I told you to, all five. You've disappointed me, all five. You've hurt me, all five. You've been complete brats, all five. You've been complacent and arrogant, all five" Her gaze grazed Derek's, "If you think you and your sisters would make the perfect picture of a well-behaved and harmonic family, kill that thought right now" She bored her eyes into Addison's, "And I won't believe you've been any different, being one of the many, feared silver spoon kids" Derek and Addison were gaping simultaneously, too stunned to form a sentence in defense to the honest denigration that dribbled from Carolyn's lips.

"Addison" She said, addressing her firmly, "You said I hated you for what you did. Do I hate you?" She asked herself openly, "No. Do I hate what you did? Yes. You broke the marriage wow. You committed adultery, yet you promised not to. I'm a presbyter's daughter and marriage is a weighty decision to me, with a promise of a life-lasting commitment. Cheating is not right and absence is not a justifying excuse because in most relationships it comes as a daily struggle, to make them, individually and as a couple, stronger, an ordeal each has to pass to be able to stick together. For better or for worse"

Addison bent her head in Derek's direction, silently begging for his comprehension and he didn't even bother to throw her a look back and she was faced with the back of his dark-curled head, his whole mane lying casually and delicately in place.

"Addison" Carolyn eyed her again, "You wanted me to treat you like my own and so I have. You're like a daughter to me and that's why I feel obligated to be honest with you. You've been disloyal to Derek and you did something bad, something wrong, and to me it's unacceptable and unforgiveable. But then again, I'm not the one who's been cheated at. I cannot make decisions in behalf of your marriage. I don't have a thing I should've said in this situation. Whatever you chose to do with your marriage, is completely up to you"

She caught Derek's attention and he looked up at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Derek…" She took off from where she left on her words, "I know you're angry. I know you and I know you're still. We've all been misled to the wrong way in life, once, or twice, you've done mistakes and thoughtless accomplishments and I've been okay with it because I know you're human, no one is perfect and I know you came strengthened back because you've learned from your mistakes. But this is not okay with me. You're not taking a child from her mother. Her only child, the most important in her life…"

"You make it sound like I'm an abductor" He said dryly after a short, silent pause.

"And in some ways you act like one" She voiced back, "You will never be her mother, no matter how hard you try. Addison is and she's the only one who'll ever be. You have to understand that. You need to separate your feelings here, Addison did hurt you, but your daughter never did. If you let your own emotions in charge you will not only hurt her," Carolyn sent Addison a swift smile, "you will not only damage, but make the life of your beautiful, stunning, amazing daughter who has done nothing but love you her whole life, a living hell"

Another blunt reply were let out from his mouth, "I'm doing what's best for her"

"That's one hell of a delusion you've got there" She remarked, "A child needs their mother!"

"No" He refused, shaking his head, "Not if the so-called mother is an alcoholic. I'm protecting her. It's my job to protect her"

"I am not an alcoholic!" Addison's self-defensed shout extinguished into a schlemiel sob and she reached out for his hand, happening too suddenly and too quickly to him to disallow her to. "I am not a drunk, Derek, you have to believe me" She blinked away the tears' gloss in her eyes while her voice cracked into sobs between each line. "She made me promise not to leave her…She made me promise not to leave her like you left her…"

Instantly, he pushed all his weight up from the seat, rubbing his chin violently, "I've had enough of you. You make me sick. You arouse only disgust" He spat out, giving his mother a tensed nod, "Just stop trying to be some kind of a conciliator. I'm out of here"

"Derek Christopher Shepherd!" Carolyn's hand slammed onto the table's expanse, "You get back here!"

With an abrupt turn on his heel, he faced them as he draped his jacket over his shoulders, completely ignoring Addison's presence in refer to her, "I cannot look at her. She makes me sick. I just…I can't…"

Carolyn looked between them, despair draining her face as she grabbed Addison's hand, preparing herself to soothe an upset and panicked in-law within the next, few minutes. Derek's words had been anything else than kind.

Instead, Addison got up, emptying the small, leftover sip of the Darjeeling in her cup before straightening up to leave, "It's fine…" She stammered, "I'll go…You need to talk to him alone…It's okay…"

"Addison…" She said softly with a small sigh, knowing for sure she was anything but.

"It's okay…" She repeated, another poor attempt to cover up her miserable condition falling free, "I'll go…My clothes are in the tumble dryer...It's probably done by now…" She gestured nervously, tripping backwards out from the kitchen and out the door.

Carolyn eased herself down to the nearest seat, massaging her forehead with circular rubs with her fingertips , "How could you? How can you be so heartless?"

"Me, heartless?" He questioned obliviously, "She's been a…" His sentence was being amputated by the scolding tone of her voice. "She's been drinking, yes! She's not anymore! That alone doesn't make her a drunk! For how long are you going to dwell on this?"

"It's not me wanting to dwell on anything" He stated, discommoded. "I need to be able to check on her, I need to know she's okay and I lose that control if Addison's flying back to New York with her. I'm not going back" He shook his head, "I'm a different person. I don't belong here anymore"

"You don't belong here anymore?" Carolyn whispered as she wrinkled her forehead in disbelieved confusion. "You don't belong to your childhood home anymore? You don't belong to the city and borough you grew up in? Your daughter grew up in? You don't belong to your family and your longtime friends anymore? You're alienating all of that? All of us? This is where you attended school, this is where you graduated, this is where you became a doctor, got married, this is where your wife gave you a child…" She brought a supportive hand to her head, "This city gave you everything and you're throwing it away? Because of some girlfriend who's waiting for you in Seattle?"

"She's not 'some girlfriend. She's…" He was seeking for the right word to come, "She's amazing…I love her…"

"I don't know what to say" Carolyn said as she got up to carry the dirty dishes to the counter, dropping them into the sink with a frustrated sigh. "I don't recognize you, Derek, this is not like you…"

Quietness came to follow for the next minutes, both occupied in their own thoughts until Derek spoke up again, his gaze drawn absently out the window to the surrounding world on the other side. "Dad would have understood…"

"Don't you dare slander your father's memory like that" She retorted defensively, stacking each plate into the dishwasher, "He would be turning in his grave by now. He's the noblest person I've ever met and I always thought you would turn out to be his similar. But now…I'm not so sure…"

"Excuse me?" Derek eased up from his seat to stand beside his mother, showing the dirty dishes from her with bastant force. "He always told me he believed I would someday become a father and he knew I would be a great one. He should have been here today, he should have gotten the change to meet and bond with Charlotte. He would have loved her. She would have loved him. It's a shame he never got to be a granddad..." He paused thoughtfully while stacking each dirty plate in place.

"It is…" She agreed solemnly, "He would've been a devoted one. But if you somehow believe he would have supported this miserable decision you're about to commit in order to assault your ex-wife in the worst possible ways, you couldn't, honestly, have been more wrong. He would have been standing right here, right now, if he could, giving you one hell of a reprimand. He would have called you selfish and hidebound and asked himself why you became a brain surgeon in the first place when you're clearly not capable of using your own, underdeveloped one!"

Derek groaned weakly. "Mom…"

"He wouldn't leave anything out, you know that. He was the kindest man on earth and he would never do anything to hurt anyone. But, as you know, if something indignated him enough he wouldn't do anything to disguise his anger. He would've probably go this far, telling you that you wouldn't deserve having Charlotte around you at all when you're acting like this. And, while trying to knock some sense into your skull he would've told you he loved you, but would also have made you aware that Charlotte might not do anymore if you took her mother away from her."

There was an overhanging silence in the room while Derek tried to compose his thoughts and his mother's reminiscing words from the days his father was still among them and alive.

"I know you're still angry" Carolyn notified, reading his mind as if it was being put to exhibition, his every thought made obvious.

"Of course I'm angry" He mumbled indistinctly, tipping his head to address his mother with a frowned forehead and a hovering query, "aren't you?"

She bit her bottom lip as she put up a brave smile. "I still can't sleep on his side of the bed. The mattress is wearing unevenly. But no, I'm not angry, not anymore."

It was Derek's turn to end up quiet and Carolyn let his hand play softly across his cheek, "Sweetheart…You see things in black and white but this is as nuanced as it gets. You need her. She needs you but she also needs her mother."

"But…"

"No" She refused, "She needs Addison. She needs Addison because she is her mother. What do you think your father would have done if I cheated on him?" She wondered out loud, much to Derek's alarmed distress as he shook his head frenziedly.

"Mom!"

She crossed her arms as she stepped in front of him demandingly, "What, you don't think women cheated on their husbands in the seventies? Because I can assure you they did" She remarked earnestly, "not that I ever went behind his back like that and not that I ever intended to, but hypothetically; if he found out, what would he have done? Leave me? That would be likely. Would he hold a grudge against me for the rest of his life? Maybe. Why shouldn't he? But would he ever drag his kids into this great maze of hate for me? No" She eyed him intensively as she spoke, "Because I am your mother. And no one, except me can be" The words escaped in soft, but firm tones from her mouth and she shoved a dark lock from his forehead with a caressing hand. "If he was here today he would have been amazed by the person you turned out to be. Just like me, he would have been proud for a lifetime. But this is not okay and he would've made you aware of that. She's so innocent, so young…She doesn't need you to play every role, she needs you to be her dad. And she needs Addison to be her mom."

"I was trying" He said after a short pause, staring absently into the air, "I had this patient at the practice. She was in for a basic routine procedure. What she didn't tell me was the fact that she had an inoperable brain aneurysm. The husband told me. Every surgeon had turned her down and she was left without a hope. She had weeks left to live and she wanted to spend them with him on their tour through Europe. He became absent in their marriage and her diagnosis was working as a wake-up call to him. He loved her and he wanted her back, not for weeks or months, for the rest of his life" Derek explained as exact as possible with his mother as carefully listening audience as he progressed in his speech, "I told her I was able to do the surgery, to give her the rest of her life. At first she didn't want to listen, she didn't want to go back to where he was mentally gone and she was left as his bed warmer."

"And…?" Carolyn prompted modestly

"She let me operate" He finished with a small smile, "It was a success and she survived. She made me-" He corrected himself, "They both made me see how Addison and I had drifted apart and how I would hate to let an advanced disease like that make me realize how much I still loved her. So I worked it out with the babysitter, I went home earlier than normal and I brought food on the way home, ready to sort things out with her and to put an end to that vicious circle we were both caught up in, ready to fall in love again, ready to talk about extending our family…" He shook his head detestfully as he was reaching the burning point. "And she was there…with Mark…in our bed…"

* * *

"It looks good" Derek said into empty air as he kneeled down in front of his father tombstone located in the middle of the graveyard. It was late afternoon and the daylights dazzling sunbeam had shifted into a misty haze of twilight. "Flowers and all…" He brushed off a small spot of mudded soil from the top off the stone, "I guess it's thanks to Mom…And probably Kath and Suze too…They both live so close…" He inhaled a shaky breath while running a fast hand through his curls, not knowing what to say next. It shouldn't be weird, it was his father he was talking to. Or actually, he wasn't. His father was incinerated and put into an urn that was somewhere placed underneath the ground. He was talking to no one in particular, into free air. His father was dust in a box, literally, and he wouldn't take in a word of what Derek was talking about. And still he felt the need to talk.

"Addison slept with Mark" He heard himself say, careful to look past his shoulder, just to make sure no one passed him in silence, going on with their lives believing he was mentally unstable.

"In our bed. My wife screwed my best friend, my best friend screwed my wife…I don't know which's the worst" He paused, "We're getting a divorce. I can't focus when she's around…She's…She's…I think I hate her…I'm doing the right thing, right?" He asked out loud, "Fighting to win this custody battle? I'm taking on my responsibility as a father. And she was drunk. For weeks. It's only obvious she cannot function as a parent. You would have supported my decision, right?" He rubbed his temple, puzzled, "You should have been here, dad. You weren't done being a dad, you weren't done being a husband, you never got the chance to be a granddad..." A modest smile glanced upon his face, "There's fifteen of them…ten girls and five boys…The perfect bunch…They would've loved you, and you them" He could feel a tiny, watery drop sting impatiently in the corner of his eye, "And we named Charlotte up after you…I know I've said it a hundred times before but you have the same birth date…Addison wanted Carson, for both a boy or girl, but what kind of name is that? And certainly not for a girl…So we decided on Charlotte. Charlotte Lauren… "The single tear altered into a few and they all dribbled their way down his cheek involuntarily, "She's amazing. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I live and I breathe for her. But I don't know if I'm good at it. Am I doing the right thing? Am I being a good dad? I don't know. You tell me" His fingers raked through his messy curls while challenging the lifeless stand in front of him. "I remember you told me you knew I would make a great one. Am I?"

"You're a great dad and Addison is a great mom" A voice was suddenly heard behind him. A familiar one. Way too familiar.

Without bothering to turn around to get a peek of the person, he eased up from his kneeling position, turning around in a rush to stand inches away from the man he hated.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I miss him" Mark said, dropping his gaze to the flourished grave.

With hate and non-resolving bitterness as conclusive decision makers he stepped closer, raising his left arm to let it strike him with violent force, making destructions on Mark Sloan's perfect plastic surgeon appearance.

He instantly put his hand to his beaten cheek as Derek cupped his hand over his attacking one, groaning slightly from the sudden woe.

"Okay…" Mark nodded approvingly, "Maybe I deserved that…"

Before he got the chance to end his reply, Derek's fist had again slammed across his face hatefully, repeatedly.

Regaining his alert, Mark gripped Derek's shoulder before pushing him forcefully to the ground. He landed on the grassy mat with a grunt, reaching for Mark's arm in order to pull him down, making him join him in the tackling battle.

He heard himself outcall a painful shout the minute Mark's clutched hand hit him somewhere between his nose and jaw, an excruciating pain reaction burning him mercilessly, almost knocking him out.

"Son of a bitch…" He was swearing as he held his hand protectively over his nose, fresh blood draining frequently from both nostrils.

"Let me fix it. I'm a plastic surgeon" Mark said apologetically, his way too harsh treatment leaving Derek with an injury, possibly with a fractured nose.

"Get out of my way" Derek barked as he regained his balance, his hand securely held up in front of his way, the blood soaking onto the sleeve of his shirt.

"I was trying to make you talk. Didn't mean to leave you like…that…" He gestured toward his obvious harm.

"We're done talking" He shot back, "You're no one. Not once have I been able to keep things to myself. You invaded my family, my sisters and my parents, you lived in my house, you went to my school, you had to become a doctor when I decided to" He was almost spitting on each words, "You invaded my practice, as if that wasn't enough you screwed my wife, you broke our marriage and you were poorly trying to parent my daughter. You were mom's charity case and you still are. You invade everything, ruin everything, not once have you been able to create something by yourself. You steal and you take. That's what you do. That's who you are"

"Yeah, you're right. Maybe I am" Mark's sudden speech made him turn around one last time on his way out, "I'm pathetic. I'm a flaw. I slept with Addison. I slept with her more than once. And I enjoyed it. She enjoyed it. You left, without a word and you were gone for months. That's when she started drinking so I figured it would be better to leave Charlotte with someone who could take on the task. That's a contradiction, really, I don't cook much and I guess she didn't always wear the matching pair of socks, but I was there. Sober and caring. I have a hard time seeing you as the good guy in this. If you're going on with the custody trial and if you win, Charlotte will hate you if she finds out you did that to her. She needs Addison. I might have been an intruder to your life, I might have been one hell of a balk to you, but if you chose to make the mistake of your life, it will be your mistake" He turned on his heel and walked out, leaving the battlefield behind.


	10. Chapter Ten: Love To Hate

**Dramatic crossover episode last Thursday! **

**I think I've made this a bit dramatic too, mixing up the emotions pretty much. As I've said before, Derek will come to his senses...In next chapter;) I think he gets one hell of a wake up call in the end of this, and who wouldn't wake him up better than his little girl? What she has to say it's pretty...shocking...**

**Thank you for reviewing, it means a lot as always!**

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"Just ignore that stupid thing" The blonde female mumbled as she let her tongue glide over his chest teasingly, both getting interrupted in the middle of their habitual foreplay by the sudden sound of a recursively chiming doorbell.

"It might be someone" Mark groaned as he rolled over to let his arm fumble in the dark across his nightstand for his watch, her weight resting upon his.

"Well, obviously it's someone…" His mistress started, "It's not like it will go off all of by itself…"

"It might be important" He stated, clarifying his last statement as he stepped into his jeans and secured the watch strap around his wrist while mumbling to himself, "God, it's in the middle of the night…"

"And fucking me is not?" She threw the satin sheets around her luscious body while blowing a lose strand of hair away from her face in frustration.

"It is" He reassured her with a mocking smile, "Just not when doorbells tend to happen"

"Mark!" She pushed out her leg to let her foot poke him is his back, "You can't focus without sex. Admit it."

"Maybe I can't" He shrugged unaffectedly, "and what's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing…nothing at all…" The blonde, more precisely being a well-renowned pediatric nurse by name Charlene, spoke softly and sensually while linking her arms around Mark's naked waist as he dropped down at the end of the bed, her fully lips being planted down his neck repeatedly into soft, wet kisses.

The next ring from the outside caught both their gazes, both sighing in unison before Mark's athletic butt elevated from the mattress as he stood up, commanding her to stick in his bed. "Stay. I'll be back"

Pulling a random t-shirt from the messy dump of clothes over his head, he stamped down the large hallway in his apartment, heading to the main door. With a twist on the lock, he pushed it open.

What, or more exactly who met him on the outside made his eyes enlargen remarkably as his lips disconnected from its opposite as his expression turned into a surprised gape.

"Hi" Charlotte's soft voice cut into the shocked atmosphere that was to surround them. The heavy rain had drained her small ponytail and made the rest of her utterly wet and watery.

"Charlotte? What…are you doing here?" He drew a quick, uncomfortable look past his shoulder, having in mind that his five year old godchild was standing on his doorstep while his lusty lover was waiting for him, naked and horny in his bedroom.

"It's almost two in the night. What on earth are you doing outside my door?" He prompted masterly.

She bit her lip as she swayed innocently on her heels, thinking of something smart to say in order to coax him about her secret intensions.

"I needed some fresh air" She explained professionally, smiling brightly as she spoke, however it wouldn't leave Mark less suspicious.

Speaking calmly, he bent down to her level, his fingers floating softly across her hand, "You don't need 'some fresh air' in the middle of the night. You should've been in bed for about…" He counted on it out loud, "Six hours ago. What's going on?"

"I couldn't sleep…" She whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

"Why not?"

"Because daddy's weird and mommy's not home…"

"Mommy's not home?" He heard himself ask, "Where is she?"

Charlotte shook her head desperately as she rubbed the tiredness off her eyes, "I don't know. Mommy's car is not there anymore" A hysterical sob crashed into the previous slacken tone of her voice and Mark instantly bent down to hug her tightly. "Mommy promised to never leave me!"

Trying his best to soothe her terrified self, he picked her up to bring the wet and frozen girl into the warm and comfy nest in his apartment. "She will never leave you, I know she'll never leave you…We'll track her up, okay?" He pulled off the pink rainboots from her feet while settling her at the heated, tiled bathroom floor, "But first of all we need to warm you up. You're dripping wet, you're dangerously close in incurring yourself a cold. I know there's a pajama pant belonging to you here somewhere"

"Okay" She sniffed, smiling shyly as he passed him a look, "Can I wear your Yankees tee, uncle Mark?"

"My Yankees tee?" He raised a playful eyebrow, "What's it between you and my Yankees tee?"

"It smells you" Her answer came shortly after his response, "And it's comfy"

He lent against the doorframe, smiling at her existence, "I'll see what I can find" He headed for the guestroom door, a room used by Charlotte more than anyone. He was out of counting for how many times he'd let her sleep over at his place, giving in to her own wills and requests, sometimes also working as a babysitter while her parents had been busy doing everything else.

His gaze drifted across the room as he entered. It was simple, there was nothing greatly with it. Light hardwood floors and eggshell colored walls consisting of a bed, a nightstand, a lamp and a dresser. Taking a closer look, he noticed the small group of teddy bears that were huddled up in the corner while an assortment of bright colored children's pictures were pinned to the wall. Mark Sloan was not a family guy and he would've freeze dead if someone ever mentioned any of his sex friends were knocked up and the possibility of him being a father. He wasn't a family guy and he wasn't a husband. Not even a boyfriend. He would not usually take the effort to sacrifice his own needs for someone else's but with Charlotte he was capable of ceasing those rules for a minute or two. He cared about her, deeply, and he had tried, if not much, to make a place for her in his apartment where she could always come to seek the feeling of homely surety.

He grabbed her sleep pant from the drawer where her leftover clothes were messy tossed into and took a whirl on his heel for his own bedroom. Charlene immediately straightened up as he walked in, a questioning look draping her doe-eyed expression.

"Mark? What's going on? Is there a child in your home?"

"Charlotte" He explained as he rushed past her, rummaging through his closet to seek out his beloved baseball t-shirt.

"And that is…?"

"Shepherd's kid"

"Shepherd as in…Derek and…Addison?" She wondered, pushing herself off the bed while draping the covers closer around her slender frame. "What is she doing here?"

"I have no idea" It came shortly from his mouth while standing with his back facing her, his eyes seeking through the wide assortment of clothes.

"It's two in the night…There has to be reason…" Her bowed eyebrow erected suspiciously while stating the very obvious, "You don't handle kids. That's not what you do…"

Snapping out his t-shirt from the rising pile of unsorted clothes, he sent her a hasty look, "She's not like most kids. And you don't know me. We sleep together, that's all"

"You're right" She agreed with a nod, "Sex. That's it. So if you're planning to play cosy, cuddly daddy I'm out of here"

Mark couldn't help but address her with a throaty laugh, "You know how pathetically paradoxically that is? You're a peds' nurse and you don't like kids?"

Snorting, she spoke again, "I work with them, I prefer to ostracize them in my private life. I would go mental if I had to spend time with those midgets twenty four seven. Do you think a garbage guy likes sorting crap during his free time?"

"You realize you're only embarrassing yourself now, right? Kids and crap are not the same, for your information"

"There's different takes on everything, that's for sure" She murmured, hauling on her jeans and pulling up the zipper as she sneaked her arms into the straps of her bra, swirling around so her naked back was pressed upon him, "close it for me"

Grinning, he hooked it back in place, "You don't have to leave"

"Of course I have to leave. There's a miniature in your house. A kid. Bonding with you"

"Yeah" He shrugged, "So? She knows about you"

Charlene sent him a mischevious glare, stammering, "What? How…When…Why?"

"Apparently she heard me talking on the phone with you. She wants you to be my girlfriend, I'm way too hot to be a loner."

"What?!" Her hazel eyes twiced its size, "We're absolutely not a couple! You're good enough in bed but it ends right there!" She huffed for herself, "Boyfriend and girlfriend…Huh…Seriously?"

"Are you trying to hurt my feelings?" He crossed his arms protectively in front of his chest, "Because it doesn't seem to work. I don't want you either"

"I know" She smiled teasingly as she patted his shoulder, "You want Doctor Redhead"

The relaxed and welcoming atmosphere between the two of them ruptured totally the minute Charlene's personal nickname for Addison were put to speak again and every rollicking grimace vanished from his face.

"It's…" He paused, "It's…complicated…"

"I'm sure it is" She responded quickly as she sprawled herself on all four on the floor, peeking underneath his bed, trying to seek out her silky sweater. "You slept with her and she's married to Shepherd. You peed on his territory, basically. You threw it out and you did a hell lot more with it than peeing, I'm sure…"

"No need to remind me" Mark groaned, "He hates me"

"Shepherd?"

"Yes"

"Of course he does. Funny his heiress doesn't, coming to you in the night. How did she get here? Bus? Taxi? She didn't stroll through every upper blocks in Manhattan by herself, did she?"

"Alone? God no, let's hope not" He thought out loud, "I don't know…Maybe…It's possible…She's not much of a wimp"

Charlene tipped her head to the side, "So the little fugitive ran off from home in the middle of the night to get to you…Sounds dramatic…"

He sighed heavily as he turned for the door, planting a quick kiss on her lips, "I guess I need to talk to her…You wanna join us? After I've talked to her? She's a great kid, easy to be around"

"Maybe…" She mumbled with a small smile, leaning closer to him to prolong their kiss.

Using the moment to attack each other's lips deeply, he pulled away a second later as she let her body fall back onto the bed, admiring his sexy, trimmed ass that was hidden behind a pair of well-fit jeans, giving her small sneakpeeks of his athletic building.

He closed the door behind him before strolling down the large hall to enter another one, finding Charlotte inspecting herself in the massive mirror as she rubbed the flannelled towel into her wet curls franticly, giving him a desponded look as soon as he proclaimed his presence.

"Why don't you have a hairdryer, uncle Mark?"

"Why would I need one?" He grinned, "I'm not that hairy"

"You should be thankful you don't have lots of hair" She complained precociously, "It takes a hundred years to dry it all"

"That long, huh? Why don't I help you speeding it up a bit?" He dropped behind her, taking the towel in his own hands as he scrubbed it violently across her head, messing up her already untamed curls.

"Uncle Mark!" She chuckled while squealing, "You're messing up my hair!"

"I guess it's dry enough" He said, taking a lock of hers in his hand before dropping to the floor, his voice signalizing the topic's seriousity, "We need to talk"

Her eyes widened, sensing his gravely undertone, "Why?"

"Because" He started, reaching for her hand, "I need to know why you're leaving home in the middle of the night without permission to. Mommy and Daddy would never let you walk those streets by yourself, not even in broad daylight"

"Are you mad"?

"No, I'm not mad" He reassured her, "But I'm worried and a bit confused" He tossed her the dry clothes, "So why don't you change into something warm while I'm making you a hot cup of cocoa and you'll clear things up for me. Okay?"

"Fine" She said quietly while her eyes inspected the floor closely, avoiding his gaze until the mention of the sweet chocolaty drink were brought up by him, making her sapphire optics lighten up, "Yes! With lots of whipped cream!"

"Got it" He winked playfully as he backed out, dirty thoughts housing his mind instantly, leaving him without the opportunity to exorcise them in any way. Whipped cream was normally not a necessity in Mark Sloan's refrigerator, how often did he drink hot chocolate or eat creamy tarts after all?

However, his daily habits got sidetracked each time Charlene would invite herself to his place, her character being anything but unexplored and reticent, especially in bed, and their last equipment had been…cream on a can. Thank God the rest was securely sealed inside it…

He ripped of the top of the chocolate drink mix and turned on the boiler as he lent towards the counter, thoughtfully. It wasn't homemade and it was as prefabricated as it could only get, brought directly from the store, only for him to mix it with boiling water. Decent adults and caretakers would hand their kids a perfect mix of melted, expensive chocolate with extra fatty milk, added with some sugar and a broad layer of delicious cream. Homemade, of course. "Homewhipped", of course.

Mark didn't do that, he even didn't know how to do that. He poured the water into the cup, swirling the powder around with a spoon. He blew the hot beverage repeatedly before he took a small sip, reassuring himself it wouldn't burn her tongue.

It wasn't made from scratch, but it was good.

"Is it finished yet?" He heard her wonder and he turned around, instantly putting a wide smile to his face. Her chestnut curls were waving and framing her adorable face and his navy Yankees t-shirt reached to her knees. She climbed onto the nearest chair, dropping her elbows to the table, resting her head in her hands while addressing him with a broad smirk.

"It is" He balanced the cup in his hands, spraying on a generous load of cream as he placed it in front of her, "Careful. It's still hot. We all remember what happened last time you were in close contact with hot drinks"

"That was coffee" She replied easily, dipping a finger into the white topping.

"Exactly. Coffee's for adults only" He dropped down on a barstool beside her, a cup of his favorite caffeine, a bonedry cappuccino joining him. Charlotte grabbed the cup with both hands, slurping eagerly as Mark put a hand on her back, rubbing, while taking a sip of his own. "Good one?"

"Great one" She giggled sweetly.

His hand found its place to rest on her spine while he contemplated her with great sincerity. "So, I want to talk to you. About why you came to me without telling anyone. Do you know what time it is?"

Absently, she swirled the spoon in her cup, not facing Mark. "It's nighttime"

"That's right" He nodded, "It's about two o'clock. And you should've been sleeping peacefully in your bed right now. Why did you leave home? I'm gonna call Mommy and Daddy, they're probably terrified right now"

"No, they're not" Charlotte parried back, "Cause Mommy's not at home and Daddy doesn't care because he's talking to someone on the phone"

"And who would that be?"

"I don't know" She shook her head franticly, "but he was talking to someone for a really long time and he was telling that someone that he missed that someone. Daddy doesn't care about me any more"

"Yes" Mark's defined voice was taking charge of their conversation, "Yes he does. Do not ever think otherwise because he does. He loves you and he will never stop doing that and I'm pretty sure he's desperately searching for you right now"

"But he's so mad. He's yelling at Mommy and she cries" A small glossy tear was blinking portentously in the corner of her eye.

"Yeah…" The former strength in his voice ceased down as he pulled her closer, "I guess Mommy and I did hurt him…"

"You and Mommy? What did you do?" She promoted insecurely.

"I think you're a bit too young to understand, kiddo" He explained softly, "But we did something we shouldn't have done"

"Did you apologize?"

"Yeah, we tried…But I'm afraid it's not that simple…"

"Won't he forgive you? Never ever?"

"I don't know…" He held a secure hand around her waist as he ran the other through her hair slowly, "I hope so but I don't know…"

"I don't want him to be hurt and angry. I want him to be Daddy again" She said after a tensed moment of reflection, "Do you think he'll be a little less sad if I tell him I love him?"

Mark couldn't restrain his wide smile anymore as she said so. She was so emotional, so thoughtful, so caring and so full of love.

"Yeah…" He murmured, "I think he'll be less sad if you tell him that…"

"Then I'm gonna do that" She smirked happily, "But can you ask Daddy if I can sleep over at your place tonight?"

"I don't think that's the best idea. I'm going to work early tomorrow" He weighed the cellphone in his hand, sending Derek a brief text message, announcing that Charlotte was with him, safe and dry while addressing another to Addison, wondering where in the world she was to be found at present time.

"Why?" She whined slightly back, "I can get up early too and you can drive me home before work. I don't want to be at home."

Mark sent her a puzzled look, "I thought you wanted to get home to comfort Daddy"

"Maybe…" She chewed on her lip, "But it's so quiet. And Mommy's not there. When is she coming back? Is Mommy okay?"

"I'm sure she's fine" He said, not fully convinced himself, "We'll ask Daddy when he arrives. He'll tell us"

Here ecstasy expression fell. "Did you tell him I'm here?"

Before he got the chance to reply to her his familiar blonde appeared in the doorway, this time fully dressed, ripping them both off topic.

"Hi" Charlene put up a rowdyish smile, exposing the whole line of her pearly set of teeth. "Mark…" She nodded, her eyes wandering towards Charlotte, "Uhm…Shepherd's kid…"

Charlotte sent Mark a bewildered look, completely oblivious to her all-time presence and his eyes fared between them both, his mouth hanging open for a slight second before he finally found the capability to react on her sudden show-up.

"Hey" He got up, lying a light hand on her shoulder while passing her, moving towards the kitchen counter to hand her a cup of coffee as he gestured while stammering, "Uhm…Charlotte, this is Charlene, my uhm…friend, Charlene, this is…is Charlotte, my goddaughter"

Instantly, Charlotte's apposite expression escalated into a broad, frisky grin. "You're Uncle Mark's girlfriend? He told me a lot about you"

Right on cue, Charlene backed steps away while protecting herself defensively, hands crossed over her chest, "No, no! Mark and I are not boyfriend and girlfriend!" She sent Mark a harmful scowl, "Why are you telling her that?"

"Hey" He retorted back, "In children's world we're practically a couple. We do the…nasty nasty…" He lowered his voice, "And friends do not do the nasty, nasty…What was I supposed to tell her?"

She bored her eyes into him before composuring herself and taking a seat next to Charlotte. "Sooo…" She started, dragging on the sentence, "You're the tiny Shepherd…I mean Charlotte…" She took her face into a closer look, "Wow, look at your eyes…And hair" She turned to Mark, "She leaves no wonder about whose kid she is"

"Yeah" He dumped back on his seat, smiling, "She's a lot of Derek"

"Clearly" Charlene stated, "But she has her mother's nose"

"Luckily…" Mark ended her sentence with a confident grin, running his hands through Charlotte's hair, "You're a beauty. But everyone knows that"

Agreeing on his words, Charlene nodded eagerly, "I never thought kids could be that heartbreaking"

Following their two-side conversation closely, Charlotte joined in, "You're very pretty too, Charlene"

"I am" She said with absolute self-surety, gripping for her coffee as Charlotte let out another remark, "You should move in with Uncle Mark"

She chocked on the hot caffeine, her gaze drifting to Mark, who looked at her like she was crazy, "I…I don't really think that's a good idea"

"I wouldn't survive one day in this bachelor's nest" Charlene snapped at him, offering Charlotte a wide grin, making her giggle in response.

"Weird thing you've been her for a week. Continuous" He mocked from behind the newspaper, stealing a small glance at the giggly girls, "What, you've become partners in crime now?"

"Yeah, yeah" She dropped an arm around Charlotte's shoulders, "She's a cutie. I like her"

"I like you too!" Charlotte chimed happily, "We can be friends!"

As an addiction to the hysterical noisy laughter, the clash of the doorbell buzzed loudly in the room, immediately silencing the trio. Instantly, Mark shut the newspaper and tossed it to the table, getting up. "Time's up, Charlie" He noted, "The parent patrol is here to bring you home"

Charlene gaped, "Addison and Derek are here?"

"Just Derek" He called from the hall, "Get your stuff, kiddo"

"I don't want to. I want to talk to Charlene" She protested prudently as Charlene gave her an encouraging smile, "Maybe next time. It's way past your bedtime. You're probably the only child in New York still staying up"

Charlotte looked at her, heartbroken as she buried her head in her hands, resting upon the table with hers frizzy curls as a covering curtain to her disappointed expression, "But I'm not tired. I want to be up"

"Charlotte" Mark reminded her as he entered the small entrance hall, again preparing himself to meet Derek and his inimical aura. He cleared his throat and turned on the doorknob, letting it glide open, his prognostications turning out to be absolute right and no other than Derek was meeting him on the other side.

"Derek" He acknowledged friendly, to a certain point as he stepped aside, giving him access to enter.

"This is ridiculous" He spat back, not offering him one look as he rushed past him, Mark being quick enough to drop out in front of him to watch his face closely, "Your nose looks bad" He offered, "Let me take a look"

It was swollen and bruised and it left no signals that Derek had sought any acute help for his facial injury recently.

"Where is she?" The flat tones in his voice signalized total ignorance his way as he kept rushing down the hall, invading his apartment with his presence and the girl's chitchat immediately died out as soon as he entered the kitchen area.

Charlene looked at Charlotte, who looked at her father, uncertain in her looks and Derek bored his eyes back in her, occasionally stealing small, unwelcoming looks in Charlene's direction, complete silence stabbing them all unaffectionately.

"I needed some fresh air" Charlotte was the one to pick up her voice again, speaking innocently as she forced a small, trying-to-be cogent smile.

Derek's hostile appearance weighed between the two adults, silently demanding an unravel for why the hell his five year old was up and awake, talking to that nurse.

Leaving him no answer, he stepped closer Charlotte, sighing heavily, "You and I are going to have a long talk in the car"

"I want to sleep here"

"No, you cannot sleep here" He said firmly, "End of discussion. We're going home. Now"

"Is Mommy there yet?" She wondered curiously, finishing up her chocolate drink.

"No, she's not at home" Derek pressed his hands to his hips, signing impatience, "Let's go"

"But where is she?" Charlotte was standing her ground stubbornly, "Where is Mommy?"

"Where is Addison?" Mark's voice took over, his tone claiming, "She wants to know where her mother is and I've tried to reach her. She doesn't answer"

"You want to know where she is?" Derek was snapping, even the fact that Charlotte was in the room, listening and taking notice of whatever there was to be said didn't hold him from losing his composure, "You want to know so you can have your way with her again?" His eyes drifted across the table to Charlene, "The nurse isn't slutty enough for you?"

"Excuse me!" Charlene raised her voice bitterly, "What the hell is going on with you?" She instantly regretted her high-pitched voice, grabbing Charlotte's hand to escort her out of the room, her eyes being wide with commove, "I guess she doesn't want to hear this…"

"No!" She forced herself out of her hold, each one of her pained exclaims being addressed Derek only. "You're always yelling and Mommy was crying because you yelled at her and you're going to yell at Uncle Mark! I don't want you to yell!" She was sobbing on the last words and Derek dropped down to his knees to grab her frightened person, his voice softening as he held her close. "I am not going to yell at you. Never. But you have to understand you cannot run away from home without permission to" He held a hand across her cheek, looking into her big eyes, "Do you know how scared I was when I couldn't find you? Look at me" He said as she twisted unwillingly in his arms.

"I am not going to yell at you, but I'm disappointed and a bit angry for testing my boundaries like that, but that's why we're going to talk together to figure things out, okay? I will not yell at you. I promise"

"No!" Another violent scream was charged from her mouth as she struggled to make out a getaway, "I don't believe you, Daddy! You're lying all the time! I want Mommy to come back because you don't love me anymore!"

All three were looking up, an alarmed expression draping their faces from her shocking statement, every shade of color draining from Derek's face, despaired, as Charlotte kept on going orally loud, yelling with all her lungs' power, "I was going to tell you that I love you because I want you to be happy again but I don't anymore! I hate you!"

Derek's grips loosened and she heard Mark desperately call her name as she found her way to run off, the getaway lying perfectly in front of her.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Turn And Turn Again

**Hi! I was planning to update last week but things came up so I postponed it a bit:) I'm a bit anxious about it because of the sudden changes put into one chappie, but I hope it works. Addison is flashing her absence, but she'll be back in next chapter. The chapter title is 'Turn and turn again', the name of the beautiful song by All Thieves. I posted the lyrics at the end of this.**

**Please review, it gives me the needed courage to keep on writing and every single comment is precious to me.**

**I hope you like it!**

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"That's not good…" Charlene hesitated, "That was…harsh…"

The young nurse split her looks between the two left-standing men, both dragging their looks towards the entrance door in Mark's apartment that had very recently shut close in a violent slam when Charlotte had emerged away in a rush.

Derek swallowed the painful lump in his throat, his heart and his brain demanding him to run after her, to catch her, to soothe her and to put a final end to her every worries. But he couldn't. His feet felt glued to the ground and he couldn't move a limb in the state of the paralyzed shock he was in.

"I'll go after her…" Mark said calmly as he put a light hand on his shoulder reassuringly. As if by magic, the physical movement woke up the tormented beast, and Derek forced his hand away, anger escalating.

"You do that and I'll crack your distorted head into pieces against that wall!" He barked, "Don't you dare going close to her again!"

"Seriously?" Charlene hummed, in her own way making out a humoring scene from the deathly tensed atmosphere between the hot-shot surgeons. "I thought your job was to put them back together, not to shatter it into your own puzzle pieces. What a twisted neurogod you are"

Derek shot her a maleficent look, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Just calm down" Mark cut them both off, easing his looks back in Derek's direction, "Look, she's upset right now and she's maddened and heartbroken. I don't think she knows how to cope with those mixed emotions. I'll go after her before she gets the time to run off and disappear again"

"You're not going near her" He mumbled bitterly, "You damage everything and everyone by just putting a hand on them. You're not winning extra points this time. You're out of her life"

Derek headed towards the hallway but was sudden brought to a halt as Mark's hand punched him lightly in the back, "What the hell is wrong with you?" The plastic surgeon raised his voice, "Your feelings got cracked up when she chose me over you. Deal with it, that's the fact. She did. I'm a flaw and I'm screwed up. But I'm not responsible for your actions and I'm not letting you make me the scapegoat because that's convenient to you. You let this happen when you left. If she sees me as a bad relay compared to you, that's fine with me, but you do not get to curse me for your actions"

Mark's voice was firm and harsh and Derek took a small whirl around to meet his eyes, their sea blue gazes stabbing each others' silently.

Living through the awkward silence Charlene took a step closer to the entrance hall, breaking into their staring battle, "I'll…" She nodded towards the door, "I'll go…and find her…"

She grabbed her car keys on the stand and slipped her feet inside her shoes. Closing the door quietly behind her, she strolled down the abandoned hallway. Choosing staircase over elevator, she tripped down the steps to the entrance door in the apartment building. She was on her way out when she heard the quiet sniffing.

She inspected every hidden corner to find a sobbing Charlotte crouched together under the staircase. Her small body was shaking as she buried her face in her hands, letting her tears fall free onto her naked arm.

"There you are" She said softly as she bent down, careful not to smash her head in the lowered concrete building, "I feared you would be out of reach by now"

Not receiving a slightest sign of response from Charlotte, she dropped down beside her, leaning her back against the cold bricked wall, "You must be freezing. You wanna go back up and change?"

Her curls shivered as she shook her head frantically, "No!"

"Okaay…" She pulled on the words as she wriggled out of her woolen coat, draping it over Charlotte's shoulders, "You wanna sit here and talk to me, then?"

Behind her unruly hazel locks that shielded out her face, her wide eyes looked at her skeptically, "About what?"

"I don't know" Charlene smiled with a small shrug, "Why don't you lead the conversation? Maybe there's something you want to talk to me about?" She touched one of her locks carefully, "I think you're a bit sad. And I think that makes you a bit angry, too. I don't think you hate your dad like you said"

"Yes, I did!" She argued loudly, "I hate daddy 'cause he's so mean!"

"Mean? Why is he mean?"

"I want to stay with Uncle Mark…I don't wanna go home…"

"Hey…" Charlene whispered, resettling on the hard ground to look her in the eye, "That doesn't make him mean, Charlotte. He's your father and he's responsible for you. You're five, you're not allowed to walk this city during the day and certainly not in the middle of the night. You walked away from your home without your dad's permission and that was wrong of you"

"But he's yelling" Charlotte prosecuted quietly, "He's yelling at Mommy and she starts crying because he's not nice to her and now Daddy's yelling at Uncle Mark too and he apologized to Daddy but he won't forgive him…" She looked up at her, helpless and doe-eyed.

"I don't think it's that easy" Charlene breathed, "It's complicated and you're too young to understand"

"I can try to understand" She said hopefully, blinking innocently with the depth of her sea blue eyes. "You can tell me"

About to dismiss her proposition, Charlene was left with her mouth hanging open, going over how to explain an adulterous love affair the best way possible for an awaiting five-year old.

She was biting her lips thoughtfully as a sudden idea stroke her mind and she turned to gain her attention. "Do you have a best friend?"

"Yes" Charlotte's face broke into a wide smile, "Hailey"

"Hailey" Charlene nodded seriously, this far being able to drag the kid along with her point, "You are Hailey's best friend and Hailey's your best friend?" Charlotte gave her a nod of approval.

"Okay," Charlene continued, "And no one can ever come between the two of you?"

"No" She shook her head determinedly, "Because we have best friend's charms. It's a heart that's split in the middle and I have one part and Hailey's got the other one"

"Exactly" Charlene beamed, "But…Here comes the point" She made aware and Charlotte sat there, eyes wide in stunned concentration. "What if…Hailey suddenly found another friend who could make her as happy as you could and she started to hang out with her new friend and someday you found them sharing best friend's charms, just like the one you and Hailey had together? How would you feel then?"

"Oh" Charlotte's face dropped, "I would be really sad."

"Yeah…" The nurse went on, "And that's kind of what your mom did. She tossed away the charm she shared with your dad and accepted another, new one from Mark"

"Really?" She arched an eyebrow, suspicious, not fully convinced, "But why?"

"Well…" Charlene chewed on it, "I guess the heart he gave her somewhere stopped shining. It went old and it went rusty and Mark gave her a shiny, sparkly new heart and she got tempted to take it"

She smiled, delighted with her answer and chose of metaphors.

Charlotte pressed her lips together ruminatively. "But Mommy and Daddy are not just friends. They're married. They're boyfriend and girlfriend."

"I know. But it feels the same way. I'm sure your dad had a difficult time dealing with everything when he got rejected so badly and I believe it will be way harder for him if you chose to hate him."

Charlotte looked down, abashed and ashamed, "I didn't really mean it…"

"I know" She stroke her shoulder soothingly, "Unfortunately, we say things we regret every now and then. But you have to tell him that. Let him know you didn't mean it"

She swirled a lock of her curly hair around her fingertip, reflecting closely on each words as she tried to find a way to solute the dramatic family feud. "But if Daddy's still sad because of what Mommy did…Do I have to hate her instead, then?"

"No" Charlene's answer was quick and reassuring, "No one expect you to deal with this. No one expects you to choose and to take parts. Your parents have to work it out themselves. They can't worry you with this"

"But I don't understand-" Charlotte started.

"Exactly" Charlene comforted her, "Because you shouldn't. You're too young and this is complicated. I don't understand myself. Your mom and your dad have to find their way out of it themselves"

"But they're still boyfriend and girlfriend, right?"

Charlene staggered. "I…I think so…"

Silently, she pushed herself up from the hard ground, offering Charlotte her hand. Hesitant, she reached for it, knowing what there was to come. She brought an arm around her small shoulders, encouraging her to face her father as they tripped up the stairs. A pair of heavy footsteps rumbled in the staircase over them, they both peeking over the banister to see Derek rushing down the stairs, her small backpack hanging over his arm.

Charlotte paused in the lower step, wide-eyed as her father caught up to them, holding a gaze, not so fond towards her.

"Step into" He instructed flatly as he dropped her boots to the floor impatiently, "We're leaving"

"Dude" Charlene blurted out, "Look at your nose. It's even worse than before. It's definitely fractured"

He sent her a stabbing look, "You're free to get back on him now. I assume that's what you intend to?"

"What makes you think you have the right to call me a slut?" She hissed defensively, arms crossed in front of her as Charlotte was taking her side, "You're being snappy again, Daddy. Stop it!" She said fiercely, standing her ground stubbornly defiantly.

"Charlotte" He sighed heavily, "I said now"

"Uhh…I think she wants to see Mark before she leaves…" Charlene added, surprised by the maddened look he had prescribed just for her,

"Why don't you stay the hell away?"

About to grumble a response, Charlotte's high-pitched voice broke Charlene off, the little girl's vocabulary taking them by shocked surprise.

"Daddy, shut up!"

Caught up with the acidulous outburst from his five year old, Derek's brows tensed together as his mouth hung open from the unforeseen retort.

"You are not allowed to talk like that!" He raised his voice slightly with his strictly reprimanding tone, instantly regretting the forceful pitch. Never had he yelled at her like that, and he was anxiously waiting for the tears to form in her eyes after he'd stirred her up like he just did.

But she wasn't a fragile piece of glass and the baby blue shades in her eyes darkened ominously. "I can swear whenever I want to!" She shrieked, trashy words coming as vomit through her mouth, "Damn, damn, damn! I hate you and you can shut up and go to hell!"

The words that were spit from her lips whilst her mental state of a raging tantrum hit Derek like a knife stab and he was completely stoned on the ground as he watched her trot the staircase determinedly, "I want Uncle Mark!"

Regaining his consciousness seconds later, he climbed the stairs, chasing after her, wasting no time in catching up with her. Her grabbed her waist, one hand circling her middle tightly as his other hand fought to ease her fingers from the banister, from where she was clinging to desperately.

"No!" She lamented as he detached her grip, schlepping her resistant body behind him down the steps. "Uncle Mark!" She cried on terrified tones, "I want to stay!"

"You've tore my patience into pieces" Derek said angrily as he clutched her upper arm in a fastened grip, "I'm not tolerating any more of your behavior. I've had enough, Charlotte. Get in the car, now."

"No!" She refused, tears popping free from the corner of her eyes as her vociferous cries for her godfather to show up escalated and chimed through the bricked walls. "Uncle Mark!" There was a relieved tone in her desperate call as he made an appearance down the stairs. Charlotte fluttered stubbornly in Derek's arms, tugging and striving to free herself from the confines in his grip.

"Stop it" She hiccupped among sobs, "It hurts!"

"Derek, let her go" Mark instructed cautiously as he descended the last step, stepping down to the ground.

Neglectant to his presence, Derek squeezed her arm restrainedly. En route to leave, Mark called for him. "You're disturbing me, Derek! You don't get to treat her like that and you're not holding her back with force! Let her go or I'll seriously consider calling…" Derek cut him off and he snapped back, "Calling who? The social workers?" He snorted, "I'm sure that would go all to waste, it surely wouldn't be considered alarmingly enough. I make no excuses for how I chose to raise my daughter and I sure as hell don't need to defend myself to you, of everyone"

"Unless that 'raising' you're talking about involves violence" Mark said firmly and Derek shot his eyes back in him. "Are you suggesting something?"

Mark didn't leave him a response, he was involuntarily witnessing the dramatic scene that was taking place in the entrance hall in his apartment building.

I guess you don't" Derek said harshly a minute later, "Your whore is waiting for you. You should go back there"

He picked Charlotte up in his arms, fighting her resistance as she was struggling to be let back down. She kicked his leg with the tip of her boot and Derek instantly shut her hand off as she began to hit his shoulder. Not hard, it was light from her easy weight and it didn't bring him any pain, but the fact that the strike was charged with every hostile emotion from her, made the hardest and, physically, most painful part.

"Do not kick me" He scolded as he shifted her in his arms, pressing the door handle down as they were about to leave, Charlotte squirming sturdily in his fastened grip. "Uncle Mark!" She cried hysterically, making him sentimentally bedridden while watching, "Don't leave me!"

Being heartsickly aware that there wasn't anything he could do to put an end to her miseries when he was, by law, no more than a godparent, destitute of any parental rights, and a lousy one-night stand. He rubbed his chin helplessly and he reluctantly turned for the stairs.

"Uncle Mark!" Her aching cries impregnated the heavy glass doors and he was forced by heart to take another look in her direction, her normally dazzling ocean eyes staring blankly and helplessly back at him.

He saw her squirming against her father as he led her into the backseat of the car, fastening the seatbelt around her body before he took a short swing to get to the driver's side. Charlotte planted her face in her hands, preventing the heavy stream of salty tears to come free. The heartbreaking sound of her sobs vanished away, but he could see her shoulders shaking as her teardrops went down her cheeks silently.

The engine roared and Derek's hands twisted on the steering wheel as he pulled out from the deserted road. Seconds later, they were gone.

Derek let his focus slip from the road and into the review mirror a numerous times during each passing minute on their way home, anxious and nervous for Charlotte. Her reaction was well-hid behind her thick mane of hair that was hanging loosely, shielding and preventing him from seeing her face.

Gripping tightly around the steering wheel with one hand as he lead the car safely downwards the street, he stretched out his arm for her, trying to massage soothing circles on her hand, but she instantly withdrew and moved to the edge of her seat, pressing her chin to the window, her empty gaze moving absently with the frequently passing streets and buildings.

"Charlotte…" Derek begged in a low-voiced tone, "Don't pull away from me…"

Her glazy eyes were etched to the city outside, the blinking lights from the protruding New York monuments mirroring in the car's window as they passed, her ears completely shutting Derek's voice out.

"Honey…" He tried again, wreathing ever so slightly in his seat, trying to bring her closer. He enclosed his fingers around her tiny wrist and she instantly let out small whimpers.

Derek broke off his gaze from the darkened road ahead of him for another second, alarmed. "Honey? What's wrong?"

As suspected, she didn't leave him any answer as she bored her face into the back of her seat, clutching her wrist carefully, making his face fall. He swallowed hard as his body froze with his heart in blame of his actions.

"Honey…" His voice was close to a whisper, "Did I hurt you?"

Minutes passed as they outdid the popular fifth avenue artery route and the trafficked Manhattan centre as small drops of a modest load of rain dripped on the windows, offering a small break to the complete, unendurable silence.

"Did daddy hurt you?" He waited, for her to speak and for the traffic lights to go green. The signal's change allowed him to proceed and he headed north, destinated for their Upper East Side brownstone residence. "Did daddy hurt your arm? Can you show me?"

He was met with his own response as Charlotte persevered on the quiet in her backseat.

"Okay" Derek sighed uneasily, "We'll talk when we get home"

He sent her another look through the review mirror, seeing that she was like stoned in her place, not moving an inch with her head turned away from Derek, leaving him to face her back. The vivid color in his eyes drained away as he looked at her, caught in heartbreaking situations like this. A curse flopped his mind. How could he? How had he gone this far, risking to hurt his life's greatest love like this? Damn right he wanted to see Addison banned from custody, but not if his payoff made his child's sorrow.

A gush of relief sneaked out between his closed lips as he pulled up to their housing street.

* * *

The door numbers on the fashionable rank went by until he hit the brake and parked outside their number 20. Charlotte had slipped out before he could notice and she was tripping hastily up the stairs to the entrance door. Derek shut the door close and pushed on the alarm button before following her up the small ascend of steps. He inserted the key in the locker and pressed down the handle, the door slipping open.

In a second, Charlotte ducked in, kicked off her shoes and disappeared into the hallway before jogging up the stairs without a word.

"I'll be up in a second" Derek called after her, holding his tone calm and monotone. He eased off his outerwear and left it on the hook before leaning his body against the wall, taking releasing breaths.

The entrance hall was completely darkened and he turned on a single lamp on the hallway stand, the bulb giving the room a modest beam of light.

The staircase creaked underneath his weight as he slowly scaled it. The hallway in the second floor was dimly lit with an antique sconce on the wall. He passed the rail of closed doors and hovered outside Charlotte's for a hasty minute. He knocked carefully, claiming his presence before he stepped into the room that was mantled in complete darkness. He frowned to himself as he dropped down on his knees before her bed. Charlotte didn't like the dark. Every night, she would demand her parents to keep as least one light on, or leave the door ajar so the light from the hall outside could reflect and draw a shade of light to her room so she could banish the threatening, uncontrollable murk.

He turned on her bedside lamp and she become clearer. She was curled up in her bed, the quilt and the covers being drawn over her head so she could easily disappear under the beddings.

"I know you're in there" Derek smiled modestly, trying to put up an encouraging voice. The protruding bundle underneath the covers stayed still, not moving, nor talking.

"Can you let me see your arm?" His vocals became more anxious, "can you let Daddy take a look, Charlotte?"

Being responsive for the first time since their ride home, Charlotte was shaking her head frantically under the covers.

"Why not?" Derek gently pushed, hopeful to even get an oral answer from her any time soon, "Can you tell me why you don't want me to see?"

Quietly, she snuggled closer to the wall, away from him and Derek watched her with a sigh, despaired contemplating over what to do.

He seated himself on the edge of her bed and lifted the duvet cautiously from her body. He reached for her arm, inspecting it for any small damages. Goosebumps spread along her limb and he rubbed his warm palm up and down the length of it.

Stubbornly, she tugged to get it free and to shun away, but Derek held her firmly and lovingly. "Let Daddy see your arm…" He demanded softly.

A small whimper was freed from her lips as he pressed onto her upper arm carefully and he instantly looked up, "This hurts?"

She gave him a small nod, her wild curls quivering vibrantly as she did, "You hurt me, Daddy…"

All colors drained from his face at her stabbing statement. It was true, he was a failure when it came to parenting, he was a failure with her. He was that a bad guy, he'd not only hurt her physically and emotionally, he'd come to break her on the outside too!

A small, patterned bruise was left on her small upper arm after his wrong, way too harsh treatment, signalizing and reminding him about his failure as the role model he was supposed to be.

He choked back an unsteady breath and his eyes moistened. "I know…And I am so sorry…"

He caressed the sides of her arm tenderly and pressed a mellow kiss on tender skin. As if one kiss from her prince charming could do miracles, she turned to face him with an interrogative look, her eyes bloodshot from the loads of salty tears, small sniffling sounds coming from her nose as she watched him, "Did you hurt me because mommy and Uncle Mark hurt you?"

"You know what…" Derek told her as he resettled on her bed, "There are no excuses for how I was to you. It's all my fault, no one else's"

"Are you still mad at them?"

He surfed on his thoughts for a minute before giving her a small, confident smile, "I'm working on it"

"Okay" She said thoughtfully, "But Mommy is still my Mommy, right? She didn't hurt me. Can I still love her?"

"You can still love Mommy" He assured her as he pressed his nose to her head, sucking in the flowery scent of her hair, "On one condition"

"What's that?" Her eyes lit up curiously.

"As long as you love me too"

She eyed him with big eyes before she let her look kneel down onto the mattress on her bed, regretful, well-aware of the underlying message in his sentence.

"I'm sorry I said it, Daddy. I didn't mean it" Three affectionate words came out of her lips, "I love you…"

Her ocean blue eyes flipped from the floor to meet his peer set.

"You are?" Derek defied softly, "You didn't mean what you said?"

"No" Charlotte shook her head fiercefully, "I didn't mean it. I love you, love you, love you this much" She held out her arms to put a measure on her feeling towards him, "I'm sorry…"

"I know…" Derek said quietly, but firmly. "I know you were upset because of me and I know that made you say things you regret, but that hurt me, Charlotte. How do you think I felt when you said you hated me and charged me for not loving you anymore?"

"Sad…" She looked down.

"Yes. I was sad and hurt and it was painful to hear that…"

"I didn't mean it!" She raised her voice desperately, ending his sentence, "I want you to forgive me!"

Easing down her high-pitched tones, Derek placed two fingers on his lips while whispering soothingly, "I do forgive you. And I want you to know how much I love you back. More than anything…But I want you to think about how powerful those words are. Next time, you're angry, I want you to think about it and I don't want you to risk hurting someone you love by saying that. Can you promise me that?"

"Yes" She was certain in her answer and she flung her arms around his neck and let her light weight dump into Derek's lap. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder and closed her eyes as she inhaled a small, contented sigh. Derek stroked her hair and patted her back as he guarded her safely in his arms. Seconds later, her eyelids fluttered open and she looked at him with demanding and curious eyes, changing topic drastically while pointing out the obvious,

"Daddy, your nose is blue…"

Slightly taken aback, he brought a hand up to his face, shielding his damaged facial goods. It was swollen and bruised and bringing him pain from the lightest touch. Charlotte stretched out her hand, her fingers eagerly gripping for his nose as Derek gently led it away.

Her lips clinched and her eyebrows narrowed together suspiciously, "Does it hurt?"

"Daddy's fine. It's okay" He underestimated on pure purpose as he stood up straight to mirror himself in the large window, inspecting his obvious facial fracture.

"Daddyyyy…" She lingered on the words while tipping her head to the side, using her all inherited charm to purchase a sincerely thorough conclusion from her father, "I don't want you to risk hurting your nose by not telling the truth. Can you promise me that?"

Derek couldn't keep a leash on the wide smile that beamed across his face from her brilliant precocious retort and he blocked her face in between his hands as each palm draw caressing lines on her cheeks while smearing kisses all over her face.

"You…are" He paused, squeezing and pulling the tip of her nose lightly as he watched her with stunned amazement, "Unbelievable…"

"I know!" She cheered self-consciously, "And I know who can fix your nose!"

"Really? Who?"

"Uncle Mark!" She again shouted, instantly making Derek groan again inwardly, "Uncle Mark fixes people's ugly noses and he makes them prettier!"

Decisive to keep his grudge steadily against his ex best-friend he couldn't help drawing his focus to her cosmetic remark. Easily, he caught her in his arms and spun her around as he gasped playfully, "Are you saying my nose is ugly?" He challenged, his hands tickling her sides mercilessly, "You don't like my nose? You're gonna apologize for that…"

"No!" Charlotte exclaimed as she wriggled joyfully, "But it's big!"

"It's not that big" He gainsaid as he hauled her onto his lap and put up a wily smile, "you want tickling? Because that's what you get when you're mocking my nose"

"Mommy calls it a statement nose" She opposed friskily, "And she says it's the biggest she's ever seen"

"Well, Mommy's just jealous" Derek said confidently as he planted tickles on her waistline, making her giggle hysterically.

"You know what," Charlotte resettled in his lap, her voice on a serious tone, "Mommy told me that when I was a little baby she told you that we would mock your nose a lot because we're girls" Her broad smile flashed her ivory teeth, "do you remember, Daddy?"

"I do" His voice fell quiet and melancholic. Of course his mind could reverse and bring back that moment five years ago. Involuntarily from his side, Addison's mellow, teasing voice was taking place in his head.

It had been the biggest day of their lives, the day he became a father and Addison a mother, the day they would officially share life's greatest gift, the babbling, burping baby girl with the crazy hazel locks and deep, reflecting eyes that were like cut out from sapphire rhinestones. He shook his head as he fought to forget and estrange his former wife. Little they knew the tiny human that carried a notable resemblance to them both, would forever represent and strengthen their bond from the day she was born and that the bond was just not ought to be cut over by a scissor.

"I do remember Mommy saying that" He continued, his voice vibrating anxiously as he was trying to pass the overwhelming thoughts that would just fortify the unbearable sense of guilt. "Do you know what I told her?"

"What?" Charlotte prompted curiously.

"That I would always find a way to handle the two of you…" He smiled widely, although the words kept stabbing him repeatedly on the inside. There weren't such thing as the two of them anymore. Not that it would bother him much, he was clear in his mind, resentfully, Addison and he had grown apart and she didn't belong by his side anymore. But Charlotte did, and for some mysterious reason he felt himself soften each time she entitled her 'Mommy'.

The Addison he knew had become an adulterous bitch. But the Addison Charlotte knew, was an ever-loving, caring, devoted parent.

Charlotte knew it, Addison herself, knew it. And if he dug deep enough, Derek would know it too, after all.

_Worn from walking this far  
So worn from talking this much  
And what we found and what we've seen  
As the road curves down_

_And the lights come up to meet us  
Silent for the evening  
We enter this town  
Like new born creatures_

_Those I know I see anew  
And the space between us is reduced  
For I am human  
And you are human too_

_So turn and turn again  
We are calling in all the ships  
Every traveler, please come home  
And tell us all that you have seen  
Break every lock to every door  
Return every gun to every draw  
So we can turn  
And turn again_

_Only priests and clowns can save us now  
Only a sign from God or a hurricane  
Can bring about  
The change we all want_

_And we've done it again  
This trick we have  
Of turning love to pain  
And peace to war_

_We're just ash in a jar_

_So turn and turn again  
We are calling in all the ships  
Every traveler, please come home  
And tell us all that you have seen  
Break every lock to every door  
Return every gun to every draw  
So we can turn  
And turn again_


	12. Chapter Twelve: No Good At Saying Sorry

**Hi guys! I'm finally picking up from where I left the previous chapter. I'm really sorry about the hiatus. From now on I'll do my very best to give you frequent updates. This short chapter is kind of a reconciling filler though, in the next one Addison, Derek and Charlotte will return to Seattle. I hope you'll enjoy : )**

**T.G.I.F.! Happy weekend!**

* * *

"Get that icepack back on your nose"

"My nose is fine!"

"Get that damn icepack back on your hideously crooked nose before it falls off!"

Mark was shouting and soon, Derek was obeying to his strict tone. He grabbed the package of frozen ice cubes that lied on the table ahead of him and leant back in the patient chair, pressing the cool substance to his nose with a groan.

"You shouldn't feel anything. You're numbed"

"I still do" Derek replied flatly, "Maybe you should reconsider your chose of career. Inserting needles of local anesthesia is clearly not your stronger side. But then again," He shrugged, as to show off his hopeless expectations for him, "those sides do not occur very often"

Dumping down on the small examination stool and making an answer to his unsatisfied retort, Mark took the icepack and pressed it against his bruising with some strength, Derek moaning out his distress, mouth wide open.

"Maybe you should consider not to harass my knowledge and burning interest for my field" He slipped his fingers in the white latex gloves, "your daughter accepted my treatment, non-protestant. Take a cue from Charlie"

"No, she didn't. She has some judgment, my girl"

"Of course she did. Except from the syringe injection it took some time talking her into, she did. She's better than you."

Derek snorted, but chose to leave out another sharp reply. Instead, he turned in his chair a little, peeking over to get a glimpse of the X-ray scan Mark was snatching off the view box. One swift look on the transparent image and his diagnose was set.

"Fractured. Definitely fractured"

"Let me see" Derek held out his hand impatiently. He studied the film closely, his neurosurgeon gaze having a particularly hard time spotting small nasal injuries. "Where's the broken bone?"

"It's a nasal septum devitation" He explained clinically, "Medically speaking, it's not broken as a fracute but the cartilage that separates the nasal bones will not heal itself without treatment. I can do a rhinoplasty, already this afternoon if you're up for it"

"Laparoscopic surgery?"

"Oh, yeah" Mark taunted, "there's no way in hell I would leave your precious nose with a larger scar than absolutely necessary"

They both snorted at the irony in his response. His fist had made black and blue prints on it along with an injury requiring surgery but his surgeon's hands was obsessed with leaving people's looks as before, only prettier, without a scar to prove his services.

"You know I'm sorry, right?" Mark's voice dropped a note.

"Of course you're not" Derek said with indifferency as he gave him back the scans. Mark snatched them off his hands and dumped them on his desk.

"I am. Not for sticking around with your gals while you were gone but the beating up your face…that's pathetic"

Derek looked down, every thought flying in his mind tumultuously. The stabbing sense of guilt for what he'd done to his closest ones still not seceding. He swallowed, he felt physically sick when thinking about it. Mark was screwed up to a significant point but apparently, so was he. And Derek owed him.

"Thanks" He shot him a quick look, his voice low, carrying a sense of humility he hadn't caught notice on before now.

"And for breaking you and Addison-"

"Okay, I don't need to hear that" He stressed, wincing slightly on his spot. Mark had said enough. He changed topic quickly. "You and Charlene? Seriously?" He commented skeptically.

Mark didn't answer. "So tell me more about the slutty intern"

"Meredith is not slutty" He looked up from his phone, awaiting an answer from his girlfriend. Not having received any yet, he shut it close and eyed Mark harshly. "She's anything but. For once in my life I'm able to go on uncomplicated. She doesn't expect me to do this and do that and to be a certain type of guy. She accepts me so I can be me. Meredith is…" He paused, a hint of a smile coming on his face, "The real thing. She's good for me"

Mark hesitated, but nodded. It was weird, even for him, to listen to Derek as he talked like that about a woman other than Addison. Last time it'd been Laura Sandler, who followed him from their sophomore year in college till the starting of med school. And then it ended. And he had met her. Her, with a beauty beyond compare, locks of auburn hair and more from the Dolly Parton hit. If getting inspired by any while making that song, Addison had to be that source. It was fifteen years ago since she appeared in Derek's life and that way, also in Mark's. Fifteen years of being the most important person in his life, the last five had been shared with their daughter. No Laura Sandler coming back, Addison had held her position for fifteen years. She was the last one.

Until now.

"Call me when scheduled" Derek got up and slipped inside his jacket. "Before I pick up Charlotte I will talk to her"

"Her?" Mark questioned, "Your intern?"

He paused as she pulled his arms through the sleeves in it. "No" He gave Mark a careful look,

"Addison"

* * *

The warm light in Carolyn's chestnut colored eyes landed upon Derek as the door to her house creaked open. Surprise was distinctly painting her face as she had not counted on him showing up so soon. Sooner or later he would but things were still terribly tensed between he and his wife and Carolyn had convinced Addison to let time do some healing before forcing herself upon him again. Meanwhile, she'd offered her to stay with her and be spoilt rotten thanks to Carolyn's devoted ways in mothering.

"Derek" She uttered, then her voice dropping hesitantly.

"Is she still here?"

"I don't think that's the best idea" She said quietly, stepping over the doorsill, closing it behind her as it grated shut, knowing where he was heading.

"Yes" He dissented, "I need to talk to her"

"Derek" She shook her head slowly, "as you probably know, she's not doing very well"

"I know" Derek nodded vigorously, "And that's why I have to see her. I need to see her now."

Carolyn leant across the doorframe, "and what made you change your mind so soon?"

"Charlotte. She made me think"

Her sealed lips tore into a hint of a small smile. "She can persuade you into anything, can't she?"

"Yeah" He chuckled the slightest before falling back in the more serious track, "Mom. I need to see her. Is she here?"

"She is here" Carolyn confirmed but not yet letting him in as she guarded the door with her physical appearance. Derek sent her a puzzled look.

"Care to let me in then?"

"If you do anything, or if you say anything that will make that girl feel less of herself than she already does, I will kick you out of here by myself and make sure you're no longer welcome in this place for a long time" She threatened but willed him to enter as she held the door open.

"I'm more reasonable this time" He promised. Carolyn gave him a short nod.

"She's upstairs"

His gaze went to the staircase situated in the center of the room. He sent his mother an appreciative look before following the steps to the second floor. The door to the guestroom was left ajar. Derek walked soundlessly over the hardwood floors and paused in front of it. He pushed it with minor force, quietly so Addison wouldn't notice his presence just yet. She was sitting on the bed, her back facing him, her red hair falling in loose slivers down her shoulders and over the grey mélange college sweater she was wearing. She coughed quietly as she picked up her phone from beside her, then tossing it away seconds later.

He knocked twice and she looked past her shoulder, her expression telling she'd counted on Carolyn and no other to invade her like that, unannounced.

She parted her lips but looked away before he could get another glimpse of her face. One hand went swiftly across her eye to wipe away any rests of black, three days old makeup. A pile of papers were shattered messily around her in bed. She stuffed them all in one file, panicking.

Derek made himself comfortable on the bottom edge. Addison sat inches away from him, avoidant as she stared persistently into the bed linens. He put the shape of her under his scrutinizing eyes. She was worse than he'd thought. She hadn't bothered to refresh herself to the obvious lately, her eyes were red and smutted, her hair frizzy and greased in the roots. On the night stand beside her were two bottles of water, the cap still sealed, and an unfinished sandwich. The heavy air that filled the room signalized that she'd most likely been residencing in bed for the most, not bothering to open a window and let in some refreshing air.

"My lawyer told me not to talk to you" She said all of a sudden in a monotone voice. Derek looked at her, surprised, but her eyes wouldn't give in to gaze back at him.

"About that" He shifted position, "that's what I want to talk to you about"

"He's good" She said desperately, "His name is Vince and he's really good. I found him…through a friend. He's been working with custody battles within the social services, among other things. He seems like a good guy. He's nice and he looks like a warm and cosy granddad…" She rambled on senselessly, "I wonder if he has kids?" A short, breathless laugh swelled from her throat, "probably grandkids, too. How old is he?" She was asking herself, drifting further away from the real matter in their case, "Sixty? Sixty-five?"

"It doesn't matter, Addison. He won't be your lawyer and we won't go to court."

She narrowed her eyes, disbelieved.

"She will stay with us. Not with you, not with me, with us. She's ours" He explained softly. "I stepped out of line. I didn't realize that…until now."

She kept staring at him through slitted eyes, her eyebrows knitted together tightly upon them. Her voice was cracking on the edge.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She demanded, the happy response he'd been waiting for running absently through her vocals. "Now as I've finally found my will to fight against you, you're making me break down again? Aren't two times enough for you? How long are you going to play me like that? Because I can't take it anymore"

"I am not playing you this time. " He sat next to Addison's shaky frame.

"How do you expect me to believe you?" A single tear popped free from her eye, "Why are you telling me this after everything you did to me?"

Derek pressed a hand to his knee, looking down before addressing her with a sad face. "Charlotte told me she hated me. Not on purpose, and she made it clear she didn't mean it but she told me. I made her. I yelled and she got upset. I can't change that, although I wish I could. So let me change this before it goes too far" The reflexes in his hand went to her cheek, stroking the cold skin softly. "She wants you to come back home. And I want you…back home…" He whispered, "Come back to us, Addison"

She dismissed his hand and forced her gaze in the opposite direction. She asked him after some hesitation,

"Is Charlotte okay?"

"She's okay" He proceeded talking in the same soft, dimmed voice. "But that's it. She'll be a whole different person if you return. She'll be herself again."

"You accused me of being a lousy mother!" She hissed through her teeth, "You planned to drag us all to the courthouse, completely oblivious to what Charlotte would think and want! Do you expect me to forgive you like nothing ever happened?"

"No" He shook his head slowly, "that is not what I expect from you. Not yet anyway. But I'm begging you for a favor and I hope and I think you would want to consider it" They exchanged glances, "I want you to be the mother you are to our child. Regardless of me and my mistakes. I'll stay away if you want to, I just need to make sure my daughter can count on her mother to be there- and vice versa. I know you are an incredible mother, I know that. She knows it too and that's why she will be there. With you. Safe and sound."

"No" She sighed.

Derek passed her an alarmed look. "No?"

"No" She reasoned, "Don't stay away. I'm a forgiving person and if you can restrain yourself, I won't be any worse towards you. I can give it a shot, I guess. But if you-"

"You don't have to say it" He smiled carefully, "I won't"

"Okay" She whispered, "from now on we're focusing entirely on what's best for our child."

"It's a deal" He grabbed her hand, shaking it professionally, Addison laughing a little. "And Addison" He caught her with his eyes, "about restraining myself…you put it all wrong. You're still significant to me, you will always be. Just without being-"

"Yeah" She agreed with a nod, cutting him off. She then noticed Derek's thumb still absently brushing across her hand, upon the obtrusive knuckles, down her white fingers.

"Derek?" She raised an eyebrow, "may I have my hand back?"

His eyes jumped to her face as he let it go clumsily. "Yeah, right, sorry"

"It's okay" She said, just as uncertain. His hand landed safely upon his knee but Addison soon brought it back into her warm palm. She clutched it. "It's a deal. Let's shake on it"


	13. Chapter 13: Stranger In A Strange Land

Hey : ) I just finished this one where the east coast gets switched out for the northwest. Yes, they're arriving in Seattle.

**Please leave me a review if you're reading and liking/disliking! Happy Saturday!**

* * *

Addison zipped up her swollen suitcase and scooped it off the bed before once again triple checking the contents in Charlotte's slightly smaller one. She put the lime green luggage aside and put her stuffed frog on top, all set and ready for their departure.

"Hey" Derek crossed the doorsill to their bedroom, "everything's clear?"

"Yeah" She nodded, watching him grabbing the load with both hands. He eased down the stairs, Addison following behind. He went for the main door but paused to throw a look in her direction.

"Good. I'll be stopping by to get mom, she wanted to eat with us before we leave. Charlotte's waiting in the car"

"Oh, okay. I'll be going over everything here"

"Sure" He disappeared through the door, "we'll be back to get you later"

She watched him descent the few stairs to their brownstone and disposing the suitcases in the back of his polished Mercedes. He closed it shut and climbed into the driver's seat, rolling out from the spot next to the sidewalk and out in the traffic.

With a sharp sigh she went into the kitchen, pulling out the plug of the coffeemaker from its outlet, emptying the rest of the dish in the washer, throwing away a circle of crumbles that were left on the countertop. A small wave of melancholy hit her when she made her round in the house to make sure every light in every room were out.

She didn't know for how long she would be gone this time. Frankly, she didn't know a thing. Why would she voluntarily return to Seattle to have her husband reconcile with his girlfriend? Why would she want to stay in the background and watch? Why would Derek drag along their daughter if he didn't intend on getting back before she would start school? She couldn't start in Seattle and Addison's contract with Richard was still only made on an oral premise…

Her future was unclear, lying somewhere indistinct ahead of her. Although her leave with their practice was formalized she was in many ways her own boss and could possibly snatch the job back. When she came back. If.

And if she did, where would Charlotte stay? Would Derek be selfish enough to be in Seattle, regardless of where his daughter would be located?

She shook her head. She was crazy to follow Derek like that when it was clear to anyone she'd lost what she came to the city for.

About to leave for the stairs she made a quick turn for the door, only to crash into Mark's chest. She let out a short scream before clashing a hand over her chest, trying her best to get her breathing and heart rhythm back to normal.

"Mark!" She panted, unbeknownst with his appearance, "God, you scared me. What are you doing here?"

"Door was open" He replied, "I thought I'd stop by. I heard you're leaving today"

"In an hour" She stated, a sour edge of regret added to her vocals.

He nodded. "Where's Derek? And Charlie?"

"With Carolyn"

"Oh"

The silence invaded the room again and Addison turned her back on him as she snatched a bottle of water from the fridge. She turned the cap and brought the sprout to her lips, revealed that during the very few next seconds drinking she would have an excuse not to speak.

She held the water in her mouth, gurgling silently before swallowing slowly.

"I'm gonna miss her"

"Carolyn?" She acted oblivious, "she's not going anywhere"

"Charlotte" He said, "I've taken care of her for months and now she's going with you and Derek to the other side of the country. It feels like she's been taken from me…"

"Mark, I cannot have this conversation with you" She said sharply, brushing him aside immediately. She sealed the cap on her bottle and dumped it on the counter. She went for the hallway, Mark proceeding behind her.

"I took care of her, we bounded in a way we'd never done before. I deserved to know. I had no idea you would be leaving today. Carolyn told me. You didn't tell me, Addison, and I had the right to know from you!"

"She's your goddaughter" She said coldly, "that's all. You're not legally connected, you don't have the right to know anything"

"I'm sure she'll feel otherwise"

"Are you done?" She stressed, "I don't have time for this"

"I want to see her before she leaves"

"It's not possible"

"Then make it. I'll show up at the airport if you want…"

"No. I don't want you to show up anywhere, Mark. At least not for a while. It'll make everything more complicated. I want this trip to go smoothly"

"It'll complicate things for you, not for her. I'm sure she would see me too before she leaves"

"Mark, please stay away" She begged and rambled, "Derek is finally cutting me some slack and we're going as a family and I have no idea what I'm doing but I don't want to mess it all up already and we won't be gone that long…"

"Derek has already signed his contract to Richard. It comes with a three months resignation time and I'm sure he don't intend on quitting that soon. You'll be gone for moths, maybe a year. She has the right to make her farewells to the ones she loves. What about Nance and the girls with their kids? Her preschool friends? Hailey and…Hillary and…those? Have you even bothered to care about that?"

"Of course…" She said timidly, one eyebrow popping to her forehead curiously. Did Mark know the names on her closest pair of friends?

There was a short pause before he spoke again on the next chance he got.

"When we slept together for the first time…" Addison moaned, desponded.

"…You told me you loved me. Was it all just bullshit or did it mean at least something?"

"Mark" Her voice fell dramatically, "please…"

"Was any of it true?"

She was on the verge of crumbling inwardly as her words came, one by one pushed out by a shaky brace from her lips. "It meant something…then" She confessed, "I was in love with you, Mark, I really was. But things changed so fast and I started to wonder if it was only my imagination or not. I loved you, for a short period of time. Later, I realized my life is surrounded by greater things and I can't sacrifice my life. The thought of losing that…ravaged the thought of us"

"And now…you don't feel a thing for me anymore?"

She stepped closer to him and brushed her palm down the length of his trimmed arm. "I am so grateful for everything you've done for Charlotte…and me. You have to believe that. Before we…" she swallowed, "started…I cared deeply for you. I saw you as my friend, not just Derek's. I want to feel that for you again, I want to take control of my emotions but right now it's just a horrible mess and I don't know what I feel, or how I should feel. I only know that I love my daughter more than anything and I want to protect her from our mistakes."

"She wasn't exactly protected from Derek's mistake-"

"I know that. And he's still earning her trust. She's been fighting her own guilt and doubt on Derek's return and that's to be expected. But what we did doesn't concern her the same way his disappearance did."

"Exactly. So why are you banning me from seeing her?"

She parted her lips without forming another audible remark.

"It's about us" He explained, "It can wait, we can sort us out later. But let me at least show up at the airport before you leave. Nothing came between Charlie and I" He paused, seeing Addison's distorted, undecided face.

"That girl is the closest I'll ever come loving someone of my own"

* * *

"We should get going" Derek looked at his watch, then the timetable in the departure terminal, a group of passengers on their flight already starting to walk towards their gate number.

The mother- father- daughter trio was standing around Carolyn, Charlotte tripping restlessly as her head moved around the waiting area expectantly.

Derek noticed her uneasiness and squeezed her shoulder, "we don't want to be late, right?"

"Mark's not here…" She looked down.

"I guess he just couldn't make it" Addison explained away, "He's working a lot and sometimes he can't get off"

"But I thought he would…"

Derek looked past her depressed expression and sent his mother a helpless look. Once the topic Mark was brought up he was taken off reasonable thinking and he had nothing in his mind planned out that could comfort Charlotte at the exact moment.

Carolyn nodded swiftly at him and bent down to Charlotte's level, latching the little girl's fingers with her own. "I'll keep an eye on him, okay? I'm sure he wanted to come see you but I believe mommy's right, sometimes adults have to work"

She nodded slowly at the ground before her gaze took off and looked into Carolyn's. She eyed her grandmother seriously. "You have to make sure he behaves, grandma"

All of them very well familiar with his escapades, neither couldn't negate their smiles. Without noticing himself, Derek flashed his range of teeth in an open grin.

"I promise" She rubbed her cheek reassuringly, "I'll keep him in leash"

"Mom…" Derek watched the line of people crowding up in front of the gate, one by one boarding for their plane. "I think…I think we should go now…"

She looked up with a sad sigh, the moment she'd been pushing aside for a while now making its appearance impatiently right next to her.

Derek gave them a genuine smile witnessing Charlotte hooking her arms around Carolyn's neck, hugging onto her grandmother tightly. She got up, juggling her weight in her arms. Pulling her long braid down her shoulder, she gave her a dejected smile. "What am I gonna do without you?"

"I'll be back soon" She said optimistically.

"You will" She stated as she pressed her palm upon her cheek and lifted her head to give Derek a reminding scowl. "Yes, you will"

"And I'll send you lots of postcards!" Charlotte beamed, "of ferryboats"

"I'll be waiting patiently for those" Her until now calm voice took an emotional turn as she squeezed Charlotte tighter in her arms, kissing her forehead endearingly.

Derek tried to break in cautiously as he looked at the line of rapidly boarding and disappearing passengers, hurry swelling in him.

"Mom…"

"Yes, okay" She let Charlotte to the ground and dried one eye quickly before the first tear would fall on her cheek. Not letting go of her hand just yet she whispered in the girl's ear.

"I love you sweetheart"

"I love you too, grandma" She replied quietly, the severance taking a toll on her condition. Addison forced an encouraging smile and pulled an arm around her shoulder while awaiting Derek and Carolyn's goodbye.

"I'll miss you, ma" He embraced her, "I know we're leaving sooner than you hoped for-"

"You have patients" She planted a quick kiss on his cheek and patted his back at last, her voice shaking, "I know, it's okay"

"We'll be back" He promised, grabbing for his suitcase.

"Soon" She finished off, not letting him fare away believing it would be okay to stay in the Northwestern domain longer than only temporarily.

He nodded warily as he bent down to adjust the straps on Charlotte's backpack.

"And you…" Her motherly eyes swept over Addison. She stepped closer and laid both hands on the redhead's shoulders, her gaze poignant and intense.

"Call me. I'll be terribly offended if you leave me out this time."

Addison nodded, a little too fast as her mind was set not to put her weaker side to the expose.

"I'm here for you. Always. Don't you ever forget that" She said sternly, though her arms welcomed her in a close, warm hug.

"Thank you" Addison choked out overwhelmed when they pulled apart. She sent Derek and Charlotte a swift look before watching Carolyn anxiously. "So I guess…we're…leaving"

"Have a nice flight" The words were being pressed out past the dry lump in her throat. She held up a hand as they started to proceed in the different direction. She placed a hand on the back of a nearby chair before sinking into the seat with a hard sigh.

Derek held out their three tickets, ready to hand them over to the attendant behind the counter when Carolyn heard heavy footsteps tramping against the floor and she made wide eyes at the sudden appearance and noisy performance.

"Hey! Lil' Shep!"

"Uncle Mark!" There was no doubt in Charlotte's voice who he was referring to and she sprinted towards him, being caught up in his arms instantly.

Derek watched them with a desperate look. Mark nodded in his direction as he bounced Charlotte in his arms. "I'm sorry. The traffic-"

"Mark" He ran a despaired hand through his hair, "we're leaving. Now"

"Give me two minutes" He pleaded, his looks falling on the woman at the boarding area.

"Make it one" She shot back annoyed although a little laughter was rippling from deep in her throat at the scene playing in front of her.

He jerked his head upwards in an agree before bending down to Charlotte's eye level, kneeling in front of her.

"You came" She grinned, her eyes stormy and blue.

"I came" He echoed, "we have to make this quick. There's five things I want you to keep in mind"

She nodded, alerted and attentive.

"One," Mark gasped, still out of air from his sprint through the massive building, "Remember, always to take an umbrella with you when you leave 'cause the weather in Seattle is pretty unpredictable. They call it Rain City for a reason"

"Got it" She said seriously as she'd been just given an order.

"You are Charlie. Keep that for my sake. Do not let those Seahawks nickname you something lame like Lottie or… Lola"

She painted a cross across her chest with her finger. "Promise"

He cupped her curly head with his hands, "Be a good girl. Don't do anything I wouldn't have done. And that gives you room to do some mischief. Be good with the tiniest bit of bad. Your dad needs an extra challenge" He joked, Charlotte nodding eagerly with him.

Mark sought his jacket pocket and unfolded a piece of paper, his rough handwriting going down the site of it.

"If you ever feel like writing" He gave it to her, "here's a list of everyone's addresses. Mine, grandma's, Aunt Nancy's, Suzie's, your friends'…My handwriting is bad but you're bright enough to see what it says. And if you want to call us…Mom and Dad's got the numbers"

She rolled it safely into the pocket of her coat and hugged onto him. "What's the fifth thing?"

"Excuse me" The impatient one behind the desk warned them, "American Airlines in not some cosy, warm, forever patient tea party. And that minute of yours has past long ago"

"Sorry" Derek sighed, resting his weigh against the counter, just as impatient as the uniformed middle-ager before him, "we're boarding now"

"The fifth things is I'll miss you" Mark replied, holding her tight, "and there's gonna be a sixth thing, too"

"What's that?" She queried.

"I…" He swallowed, then his voice falling down softly"…love you very much"

Charlotte blinked rapidly and bored her nose against his shoulder, that way, she believed, he would be able to take notice of the free streams of tears that were about to come from her eyes.

"It's okay" He soothed while patting her shivering back. "Don't cry, it's okay…"

She sniffed into the collar of his shirt. "Can you come with us?"

"No, I can't-"

"We have to go now" Addison tripped hastily against them and she, with Mark, helped Charlotte down.

"Bye" She sent him a reverenced look while reaching for Charlotte's arm. "And thank you…"

"I love you too, Uncle Mark…" Charlotte made to say before Derek gathered them up and the airport counselor waved them off to the passageway.

Mother and daughter were looking past their shoulders as their steps led them further and further away from home, from the familiar. Derek followed behind them, lifting his hand in a wave, a last goodbye. And then, for Mark's and Carolyn's eyes, they were gone.

"It feels…weird" He confessed, after the disappearance of the three the whole mingling area feeling empty and abandoned.

"I know" Carolyn looked up at him, "you did good there, Mark. You're good to her"

"You think so?"

"Yes"

He smiled to himself for a second, then his busy mind noising again. "Well, I guess I'll be heading back to the practice-"

"Not so fast" She slowed him down by grabbing his arm firmly. "I think we could both need some company over a portion of my beef stew specialty."

"Maybe not today-"

"You're talk deprived and starving. I know you, Mark Sloan" She eyed him, not going on with his excuse.

He nodded at last, silently grateful, and put an arm around her shoulder. She gave his back a firm, encouraging rub on their way out.

* * *

"Daddy, I'm finish" Charlotte put her fork aside. They'd been in the air for two hours already and her portion of spaghetti was devoured, as well as her blueberry muffin, a sweet cessation to their boxed plane meal.

"You ate it all up?" Derek inspected her empty tray, surprised, as he was still dealing with the rest of his own, "Good"

"What do we do now?"

He grabbed her juice box and held it up, shaking it slightly so the content was squelching inside it. "Drink up, please"

"Why?"

"It's important to stay hydrated during the entire ride" He explained, "and we still have at least four hours ahead of us"

"Oh" She grabbed the container, imbibing the orange liquid. Derek watched her with a small. "Thank you"

"Where are we now?" She squirmed in her seat a little underneath her fastened seatbelt to take a peak out the window, trying to get a scape of civilization from far underneath them but the plane was surrounded by all clouds.

"I'm sure they'll tell us over the speaker sometime soon but I'll guess Michigan. Wisconsin, maybe."

"That's far from Seattle" She sighed impatiently, knowing her geography well.

"Times goes fast" He assured her as he left their garbage to a blond stewardess passing them to collect their disposals. Another one followed after, pushing her cart through the narrow passage. Derek gave her a twenty in exchange of three bottles of water.

"Here you go" He slipped it inside the pocket of the back of the seat in front of her.

Charlotte sunk back in her seat. "I'm tired"

"Wanna try to get some sleep then?" He lent over her to drape her jacket over her body for some heat.

She looked past him with a smile, catching the sight of Addison who had fallen into dreamland whilst being in the middle of the act in her thick, mid-century novel. The book was about to slide down from her lap and Derek grabbed it and put the bookmark in, separating the pages safely.

He reached for his briefcase underneath his seat to find an occupation for Charlotte to make the hours run faster for her. He placed an activity pad and a pencil set on her folded table.

"Honey, look what I got for you-" He paused, watching her on his left side. Her body was crumpled together into a ball, her legs drawn up to her chest, her toes placed at the tip of her seat. She breathed rhythmically as her eyes stayed close in her sleep. He looked at her, puzzled, and with a small smirk as her head rolled unconsciously from the back of her seat to be falling on top of his shoulder.

He let out a nasal laugh as he reached for his water bottle. He twisted the cap and lent back, making himself comfortable in the extremely delimited space. He flushed down a large refreshing gulp when another weight fell upon his other shoulder. Without watching, he parted his lips, a disbelieved smile tearing his lips upwards. Addison let out a heavy breath as her head found solid ground, something to resemble a pillow as Charlotte mumbled on happily in a muffled voice, both sleeping steadily.

He tried to shrug her head off but she wouldn't budge and he lent back against the head of his seat, throwing a look at his watch. 3 hours and 45 minutes left, according to his calculations. He suppressed a yawn. Housing two stubborn heads, he would certainly not be able to reach their state. He looked ahead, his eyes floating absently at a movie played on the small TV.

_It could have been worse_, he thought eyeing the man on the screen laying bleeding on a dim, deserted alleyway. He sighed and smiled for himself. Apparently, as Addison had taken use of it on their previous trip, he was a damn good pillow

* * *

.

"It's raining" Charlotte stated unenthusiastically as they were officially out in Seattle air when the door to SeaTac's arrival area slid open, the wet weather plundering the ground heavily. Derek pulled the hood of her coat to her head with a smile.

"That's the native New Yorker in you speaking"

"I hate rain" She protested sourly as she took Addison's hand, the two following Derek as he made their way to his car in the large parking house.

"You're gonna love it" Derek beamed at her as they were inside again, sheltered, "and you're gonna love my trailer" He stuffed their luggage in the back of his car, "I can't wait to show it to you"

"About that" Addison climbed into the backseat next to Charlotte, "Would you drop me off at the Archfield? I made another reservation"

About to twist his keys and start the car, Derek paused in his driver's seat, "what?"

"You know, I don't have another place to stay so I booked us, Charlotte and I, in for a double room. She's gonna stay with me as well as you, we just have to make an agreement regarding days and dates which I know will be impossible considering the wobbly schedule that comes with our profession-"

"Mommy" Charlotte had been attentive to their talk, her voice stating, although a little unsure, "you'll stay with us in the trailer"

"No" She shook her head with a small smile, "I won't"

"Let's sort all that out later. For now, come stay with us" Derek made a pleading face through the mirror.

"You don't have room for one more"

"I do. There's a bed couch by the kitchen. I made a cosy sleeping corner out of it for Charlotte, but she can sleep in bed with me and you can crash on that"

"…Or she and I can stay in bed and you take the couch"

"Fine with me" He said maturely, "Princess, what do you say?"

"Look!" She pressed her nose against the window as the car rode past the metropolitan street, not paying attention to his question as her eyes wandered with awe over the city's grandest landmark "What's that?"

Derek shot a quick look at the spectacle outside before his eyes were safely plastered back on the road ahead of him again. He sent her a smile. "That's the Space Needle. It's a famous attraction. Pretty nice, huh?"

"Yes! Can you go inside?"

"You can. There's a restaurant on top of it. We should go up there one day"

His last sentence gave him a few ideas. He had been trying to plan the perfect first meeting between his daughter and Meredith but the fear of Charlotte's response to the unknown had left him hesitant, especially after the emotional turmoil they'd suffered, all three, in New York. But now, spending less than half an hour in the city, Charlotte had already seemed to warm up a bit.

Maybe if he took his girl and his girlfriend to a better meal on top of the tower she was embracing so gladly…

"Daddy!" She squealed and knocked him out of his thoughts, Addison laughing happily beside her.

"Look!" She kept on calling out in joy as he navigated the car in the direction to the ferry dock. "Ferryboats! Like the Staten Island ones!"

"I know" He grinned, "and even better than that, we would have to get on it to get to my trailer in the woods"

"Yes!" She cheered, "I love ferryboats! And the Space Needle too!" She looked out the window with a wide smile, "And it stopped raining!"

Derek felt relief loosening up at him as she pulled up to the line of cars already waiting to board. Her ability to adjust to the new environment so soon had been much more than he had hoped for. This would be a new start. A fresh breath of air, for all of them. And this was only the beginning.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Seperate Ways

**Day one in Seattle and things are already about to happen!**

**Please review! :)**

* * *

"Today's the day" Cristina proclaimed happily as she tore her locker door open, "today's the day that will make a sudden end to my torturous cardio deprivation. Burke is in for a cardiomyoplasty this afternoon" She eyed Meredith with blissful pride, "I checked the board. Twice"

Meredith, who was the only audience to her jaunty performance in the intern's lounge as the two of them were the only ones to arrive and get settled half an hour before this early morning shift, shook her head amusedly as she stuffed her bag in her own small space beside Cristina's.

"You don't know that. Burke's still got you in his dark place"

"And that makes _him _bitter and unprofessional" She argued briskly, "Just because I dozed off-"

"You fell asleep during sex" Meredith lectured seriously, "Every man would be offended. You hurt his price. His _male_ pride…"

"I was tired!" She screeched, "I'd been working for 48 hours and using 20 of them standing in the OR doing boring ortho nothings with Torres"

Meredith shrugged, "I still doubt he's gonna pick you."

"He will pick me. And if not, there's always Hahn" She looked at her with fascination in her eyes. "Hahn and her coronary artery bypass and open hearts…"

"Hahn's doing a CABG today?" Izzie, who'd been entering just in time to catch Cristina's last line, looked between the twisted sisters curiously.

"No. But if she does" Cristina placed herself in front of her, holding up one finger warningly, "that's mine. Stay away"

The blonde put on a wry smile as she rolled her eyes.

"She's cranky" Meredith said, defending, "Burke still hasn't forgiven her"

"For falling asleep during sex?" She questioned, rolling a hair band around her fat ponytail, "that comes without surprise. Give him a moment or two so he can lick up his wounds. You fell asleep during sex, after all. I would've been pissed"

"Me too" George had been a silent follow to Izzie before he now joined in, "You're mean" He berated, "I'm sure you did it on purpose just to crack him up"

"…And thank you, Georgie" Cristina said unenthusiastically, "Why would I? Cardio is life. Cardio is everything. I'm not immolating my future for some flat joke."

"Anyway" Izzie broke back in, her mood brightening as she picked up the waiting subject. "How are you, Mer? You must be so happy now as Derek is back and all!"

She tugged at the loose strings of her pants, pausing suddenly. Izzie and George were adopting each's excitement as Cristina looked between them, puzzled.

"He's not-" The usually so sardonic intern started, only to get her voice carelessly trampled by Meredith's.

"Derek's back?" She demanded cautiously, "Since when? He didn't tell me!"

"Since yesterday. Don't worry" George assured her, "they have a lot to sort out. We met them in the lobby. He asked for you."

"You met them? Them, as in McDreamy, his wife and…" Cristina thought it over, "…Chucky?"

"Shut up Cristina" Izzie commented harshly.

"Yeah" George proceeded, "They were on their way to daycare. He might run a bit late since it's her first day. She's getting settled and stuff…"

"You actually met" Cristina looked at Izzie's irated face and made an effort to come up with a less offensive petname, …McSpawnie? In her physical, vivid form?"

"We did" He nodded, "she seems pretty great"

"Huh" She snorted, "So, is she Shepherd's living image or what?"

"She's beyond beautiful" Izzie said solemnly, "she looks like him, yeah, but she's got a whole lot of her own characteristics too."

"Did she talk to you?" She enquired once more.

"She did. Not shy at all. She's gonna charm you down" George teased, wriggling his eyebrows as he mocked her lack of excessive sentimentality.

"Never gonna happen"

Meredith, half conscious to their chat, stared in front of her blankly. "I can't believe he didn't tell me"

"Don't worry, Mer" Repeating George, Izzie grabbed her hand and led her up from the floor. "I'm sure he didn't mean it. He's busy"

"And so am I!" A brutal pitch of authority was heard as Miranda Bailey tramped through the almost empty longue room. "What are you all doing here? I don't have time for hide and seek. Get started! Assignments are waiting for you in the pit!"

She gathered the small flock and hushed them out without effort.

* * *

"Hi, guys!" A head carrying locks of a deep copper red color, poked through the door the Seattle Grace's daycare arena as Addison, Derek and Charlotte made their presence known. The woman dropped the stuffed animals she'd picked up from the floor and deposed them on a nearby colorful couch. Crossing the doorsill, her long, lank body came into view. She wore a pair of dark jeans, a purple sleeved top upon as her playful, ruffled ponytail swayed restlessly in her neck. She showed off a childish grin as she held out a hand. She couldn't possibly be older than 25 according to Derek's guess.

"I'm Jennie. Jennie Logan" She said as Derek shook her hand firmly and appreciatively. Moving to Addison's side, she repeated the friendly gesture before she kneeled in front of Charlotte, the main cause to their visit.

"Let me guess" Jennie suggested encouragingly, "you are Charlotte, isn't that right?"

"How do you know that?" She wondered, doe-eyed.

"I'm a mind reader" She bragged, gaining looks of admiration from her momentarily. Her face shortly dropped when Jennie shook her head.

"I'm not, unfortunately" She confessed earnestly, "your name is in my file and that file is in my office so if you come along with Mommy and Daddy we could take a closer look on that information, okay?"

"Okay" Charlotte approved to her instantly and let go of the comforting warmth in Derek's safe grip. Jennie guided them through the playroom, lunching area and the sleeping corner, made as a relaxing place for the very youngest of the toddlers but also for those, regardless of age, who wanted a daytime nap or just a snuggle.

She held the door to a mediocre, average sized office, the room's panels just as plain and sterilized as any room in the rest of the hospital. The daycare center was located far up in the north wing, preventing the kids to notice much of the drama that played out around them although contagion and medical revolt were lurking the halls outside from time to time.

"So" Jennie pulled out a drawer as they got seated. She picked out a specific file from wide selection in her archive and handed it over the desk for closer inspection.

"You're starting school in 6 months, Charlotte? How cool is that gonna be?"

"Very" She wriggled impatiently from side to side on her chair. "What more does it say?"

"Well-" She put a page aside, then her gaze falling on Addison, the sudden intensifying beep coming from her black suit pants.

The pair of eyes all staring at her, Addison slipped the pager from her waistband with a sigh.

Derek, well-familiar with the situation, rubbed his cheek as he watched the three great digits forming a number on the small screen. 911.

"You have to go?" He asked stupidly.

"I…" She looked at him, excusing herself with a small smile, "I might get Jenkins-"

"No" He shook his head, "there's no time for that. If you have to go, you have to go. I'll stay with her for a while"

"Mommy?" Charlotte eyed her warily, "you have to go?"

"I'm afraid I have to" Addison explained guiltily as she stroked Charlotte's cheek, "there's a sick baby on the way that needs my help. Are you okay here with Daddy?" She eyed the redheaded teacher newbie with a smile, "And Jennie?"

"Yes" She was positive, "are you coming back?"

Addison brought her arm around her shoulders, embracing her quickly, then bringing her lips to the crone of her velvet head, "I'll be back as soon as I can" She promised, seceding, "have fun"

"Bye Doctor Shepherd" Jennie said politely as Derek dismissed her with a smile. Charlotte placed herself on her knees in the chair to rage higher and to wave Addison off as she passed them on the other side of the glassed wall.

"So" Jennie said when she was gone, "I know you probably can't wait to get out and to start mingling with the other kids but I have a few formalities I need to work out with your Daddy before I let him out of here" She handed Derek a paper, a contract yet to be signed.

"Absolutely" He reached for a pen, "when-"

Like minutes earlier, another beep went off, this time claiming Derek's services. He sighed and unhooked it from his belt, desponded as he saw the number of emergency lighting the screen on his pager. Jennie deadened a laugh at the surprising sequence.

"I take it as you're busy people, Doctor" She remarked brightly, "don't worry, we can rearrange later. Most important is that Charlotte will feel comfortable around here, with the kids and caretakers. I'll stay by her side on this first day" She assured, looking at the youngest Shepherd in the room, "let's get you introduced to everyone"

Derek rubbed her back, hopeful that she would easily give into her offer without any drama.

"But Daddy has to stay too"

Derek looked down, helpless. Why couldn't this irresponsible drunk driver or parachutist or whoever happening to be today's accident-prone that caused him to rip off and leave his daughter alone on her first day in a new preschool on her second day in a new city have waited just another hour?

"I can't" He stuttered softly, "there's been an accident and someone needs my help. If not, he or she might die. We don't want that to happen, do we?" He asked, unchastely challenging her conscience-minded being.

"I want you to stay with me" She whined, a little more desperate as she tugged on his arm. Carefully, he freed his arm from her and got up quickly, making her reach for him again.

"Daddy!" She cried, "Stay!"

"You want to see the cool stuff?" Watching the growing emotional agitation in between them, Jennie tried to released some of the quilt that was evident in Derek's eyes, "we have lots of toys, among them the Etch-A-Sketch, you like that one? And we have ateliers where we paint and do artistic stuff. And a piano and this awesome new trampoline on the outside…" Jennie made a sign for him to leave as she held Charlotte's hand. He turned away, despite how much he was aching and urging to take her in his arms and squeeze tight but he knew it would make it a thousand times harder when releasing her again.

His pager beeped again, impatient with his slow reaction. Jennie nodded, pronouncing a free getaway. Derek closed his eyes for a short second and disappeared through the door. He could hear her yelling and he kept up with a faster pace through the hallway. About to board the elevator he heard the door unlock and she kept running for him, her small feet not taking her longer than a short half meter with every step. Despite her effort to reach him she wasn't close when the steel doors met and closed. He pressed the button to floor three and almost clashed his head against the lift's wall, his shaky hands pressed up against it as he let out uneven breathing. His eyes leaked with salty wetness, the guilt haunting him as the picture of her, left helpless like an abandoned orphan, was put to replay for his eyes.

* * *

"Doctor Shepherd, I would be beyond thrilled if you let me do the closing" A very confident resident of his was putting his knowledge to practice when assisting on Derek's emergency craniotomy. He was done putting his work of art on the patient's brain and with a little help and assistance from the experienced anesthesiologist and the two scrub nurses, Doctor Kevin Cliff was likely to sew and patch the skull back together well.

"Alright then" Derek said behind his mask as he put the scalpel to rest on the instrument table. "I believe you can" He was trustful towards him, the young doctor already having an impressive academic résumé as well as a natural sense of sumptuous bedside manner and commanding scalpel skills.

Derek deposed his gloves and gown in the bin on his way out. "Keep in mind that this day would have been our patient's crappiest if it wasn't for me" Overly impressed or not, Derek was minutely not to wash out the width between their respective positions on the 'surgical food chain', Derek raging on top with his neuro profession, Kevin still roaming around on the second level with his peers, only interns to hover on.

Speaking of interns…

Derek glanced up at the OR theatre too see Meredith's angelic face for the first time in weeks and his heart made a jump. His eyes grazed hers and it was obvious she was staring back fully. The other four who had been watching his performance were leaving their seats to exit and Derek made a sign with his hand for Meredith to meet him in the scrub room below.

He left quickly and started to rinse his hands underneath the chill water. Unmeasured elation was burning through his cold skin pleasingly. He grabbed a paper towel and rubbed it quickly over his wet hands. He tossed it in the bin and turned towards the door to see her standing right behind him. She closed it silently and kept staring at him with undefined glint of a smile that occasionally turned into a discouraged glare.

Derek grinned fully, the scrub mask hiding his expression and he ripped it off in one, then catching her frame, clutching her waist as he forced her backwards a little, against the cold metal sink. He eyed her intently before kissing her greedily.

"I missed you" He mumbled between his occupation. Meredith leant into him once more before she involuntarily pulled off, her confused mind in charge. She supported herself against the large washbasin.

"You didn't call" She pointed out awaitingly.

"They don't allow electronics on board" He said easily, trying to fetch her lips in between his again. She wriggled away with a small smile. "You could have called before. Or after you got back. When did you get back, actually? Izzie espoused yesterday but I don't know if she-"

"Izzie's right" Derek replied brightly, pressing another kiss on her pink mouth quickly, "and I sent you a message. I should have called you, I'm sorry about that Meredith" He was sincere this time, "I'm not lying when I say I've been busy. It's been a lot to deal with"

"Are you okay?" She noticed his fallen voice.

"I'm much better now as you're here" His sassy grin reappeared, "I've missed you. Haven't you missed me?"

"I have" She confessed teasingly, "it's been hard staying frigid when all these young, sexy guy patients are rolling into the ER on my call"

He nodded sympathetically, going on with her frisk remark, "I believe you. They probably had a lot of sexy injuries too?"

"Mhm"

"Well I'm gonna make it up to you. I just stocked up on my necessities. Breathmints, condoms…" He grinned suggestively, "We're gonna have sex tonight"

"We are? But what about…uhm…er…Daughter Shepherd?"

"Daughter Shepherd" He said, "Or Charlotte if you want, as that is the right addressing term, will stay with Addison tonight."

"Oh, okay. Is she…alright?"

"I don't know" He shook his head, his voice falling back in the same woeful track as earlier, "She was. She seemed to take it just fine but today, her first day in the hospital's daycare, Addison and I got paged by 911 and were forced to leave. We left her all alone…"

Meredith was quiet for a minute. "That sucks. But I'm sure the caretakers will do it. Help her get settled and stuff…"

"I hope so" He ran a hand through his curls nervously, "God, I hope so"

"Is there anything…" She buried her hands in her deep lab coat pockets, uncertainty present in her voice. She wanted to help him, to make him feel better than much better, to feel great. But she was just a girlfriend and he had a wrecked family where she didn't belong, not that she had ever really belonged to a family before…

"…Anything…I can do…" She stuttered, for…you?"

"I can think of one thing" A small smile moved his lips, "I want you to get to know each other. I want her to meet my new social circle and I want you to feel included in my life." Meredith's eyes magnified as he proceeded, "I want you to have dinner with me and Charlotte tomorrow."

**Yup, you're absolutely right. Next chapter holds a very first Merlotte scene. Heh.**


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Meet With Me

**That was pretty fast wasn't it? ;) **

**Please review!**

* * *

"Which one is she?" Having companioned herself with Meredith, Cristina peeked through the windows outside the hospitals daycare center, satisfying her blooming curiousity as they kept spying secretly on the swarming juvenile life inside.

"How would I know?" Meredith said irritated while swaying in her squatting position, crouching together and ducking down a little more so no one would notice the top of her head hovering just above the window frame.

"You're doing her father and I pegged McDreamy to be a sad version of the lame ass ones that are more than thrilled to snatch a pic of her from his wallet with swollen pride in his eyes as you look at it" She concluded bluntly , "you've seen her, haven't you?"

"I haven't. Remember what Izzie said. Apparently she's beyond beautiful with definite semblance to Derek."

"So we're looking for crazy hair, blue eyes and ridiculous grins?"

"Yeah" Meredith shrugged, "probably"

A minute passed in silence as the intern duo pressed themselves up against the glassed wall, reconnoitering the crowded space closely.

"I don't see any" Cristina fell back and lent against the wall to let another flush of caffeine dribble through her system and wake up her still dormant mind. Living and lacking cardio assignments would sooner or later do that to you. She sighed, depressed. This day didn't seem to bring her any categorized luck.

"I do" Meredith said suddenly, tugging on her arm. Cristina drank up quickly and turned for the window optimistically. There were several small brunettes running around happily, as well as those with ocean eyes and softly voluptuous curls hanging loosely around their heads. But there was only one that could be classified as "beyond beautiful" and Cristina's eyes were instantly drawn towards her as Meredith directed.

Her smile was vibrant as no one else's as she ripped out a page in her sketchbook and handed one of the assistants a decorative, self-made artistic piece, then turning back to three other girls that surrounded the small table. Her mouth motioned rapidly towards them, talk-active.

"That's her" Meredith established, "it has to be. Look at her, she talks. A lot. Like Derek"

"I guess" Cristina said, monotone, "At least she looks at him"

Meredith nudged her with a small smile. "Izzie was right. She is kinda pretty, don't you think?"

"Couldn't care less" She replied ignorantly.

"Excuse me" The door was let open suddenly and Meredith and Cristina jumped up, surprised that someone had witnessed their proximity. A redheaded woman stepped out and eyed the doctors with some suspicion, "I've seen you've been lurking around outside for quite some time now. No offense, but I've caught you staring at my small pupils and it comes off as kinda sick."

"We were just leaving" Cristina excused briskly, "do you know if there's a Charlotte in there?"

"There are three Charlotte's in there" Jennie motioned towards the entrance, half smiling.

"Charlotte Shepherd"? Cristina prompted, "Montgomery maybe. Montgomery Shepherd. But most definitely Shepherd"

"Charlotte Shepherd, yes" She nodded knowingly, "She's here. She's such a sweetheart. Do you know her?"

Cristina, who had taken lead of the conversation stared into Meredith as she'd been watching without words. They eyed each other cluelessly, having no answer to Jennie's query.

"Uhm…" Meredith stutterd, "well, uhm…we..."

"Give me a second" Jennie was about to head back in, "I'll find her for you"

Panic arised in the two. "That's very kind of you but you really don't have to do that" Trying to talk them out of their self-inflicted trouble, Meredith put on a convincing smile.

"It's no problem" Jennie assured obstinately, "I'll get her" She disappeared through the door before they would have a chance to react. Cristina's eyes were filled with antipathy as she grabbed Meredith's arm forcefully. "Run!" She instructed strictly.

"What? We can't just run…" Meredith dwelled uneasily on her exact same spot.

"You rather want to stand here looking like an idiot?" Cristina demanded impatiently, "look, I hate kids and you get all awkward around them. On top of that I'm seriously cardio deprived so I might pick up a scalpel and stab her down when stark desperation takes over. There might be some dramatic consequences, no one likes a dead kid and she's McDreamy's kid and he's gonna hate me and more so he's gonna dump you for hanging around with a child's murderer" It was Cristina's turn to take on the panicky rambling as she hovered nervously on the floor.

"We don't socialize with kids, Meredith. And unless you want to lose your job and your boyfriend at once and screw your changes on a proper meeting with his little…thing later on, move your ass and get the hell away. Now"

Stoned on the floor, Meredith eyed her, uncertain. Behind the large window Jennie was walking Charlotte to the corridor outside and Cristina's alarmed face met her friend's for one swift second.

"Run!" She yelled before taking off to race down the hallway high-speed, Meredith closely in tow.

"…There's someone who wants to meet you" Jennie smiled at the little anxious brunette as she pulled the door handle down on the other side of the room.

"Who?" Charlotte queried curiously.

"I don't know. Wait and see for yourself" The door was pushed open, revealing nothing but a dull, deserted hallway. Jennie looked in every angle but no one was to be found.

"There's no one here" Charlotte pointed out, marveled.

"That's weird" She hesitated while inspecting every little corner, "seconds ago they were…"

* * *

"Guys…" Izzie hushed down their load vocals with a smile. Alex, Cristina and George had casually planted themselves in the living room, two lying opposite each other on the couch while Alex was sprawled out on his back on the fussy carpet, beer bottle in hand. Being quite a short number of gathered people they were still able to generate enough noise. Izzie was patiently waiting next to the doorframe, awaiting their attention to drag in her direction.

"Meredith!" She called up the stairs, "you can come down now!"

A feathery pair of footsteps was descending the stairs eventually.

"I'm not sure about this one" She criticized as she walked into the room, dressed up to be Izzie's personal mannequin. Her hair was bound up by two separate French braids, her cheeks blushing bright pink, part of her heavy makeup.

She looked down on her outfit, an exclusive fine printed knitted dress, to reach just above her knees, with a scrutinizing glare.

"The pattern makes my boobs look huge and it's way too short. I'm not some attention sick fifteen year old"

"It can easily be combined with a pair of pants. Or leggings. Oh, I have this cute black pair with tiny hearts strewn all over it-"

"No" Meredith refused stubbornly, "that's too much pattern. I already look ridiculous. Give me something else"

"No" Izzie disallowed, "Use a pair of pants if you feel like covering up. The pattern, the cut, is perfect. You're gonna meet Charlotte tonight and you want to appear playful, yet serious, stable and balanced"

"Stable and balanced" Cristina snorted.

Izzie ignored her. "The pattern is colorful, joyful, yet classy. Worn with the hair you'll be perfect 'fake mommy' case.

Meredith eyed her superior fashionista with discourage. "I'm still not sure…"

"Meredith" She warned, "don't question the Missoni dress. It will do miracles to you"

"Missouri?" Cristina caught wrongly, "since when did the state of Missouri become a synonym to fashion?"

"Missoni" Izzie corrected, "It's an Italian brand"

"Right" Cristina nodded, excused by her light drunken state, "that explains it. The Missourians I've met are all opposite classy"

"Are you mocking our country fellas?" George asked, "'cause it's not that classy falling asleep during sex, either"

"Try having sex with a show me specie" She served him another frisk remark, "that will make ya wish falling asleep"

"Geez" Alex remarked, slurring on the floor, "how many show me species did you screw?"

"Show me once" Cristina counted innocently, "show me twice, three and four..."

Alex raised a hand approvingly before crashing back down on his pillow.

"We got it" Izzie complained diplomatically, "we're not here to talk about your Midwestern sex experiences, I invited you over to help me get Mer prepared for dinner. It's important that she makes a good impression 'cause Charlotte is the most important person in Derek's life and Mer's his girlfriend so they're gonna have to spend a lot of time together" Her eyes fell on Meredith occupying the couch with an almost empty tequila bottle, not fully into the task herself.

"Meredith!" She reprimanded, "get back here, Derek's picking you up in an hour! Are you planning to show up drunk?"

"It's sanity balm, Izzie!" She hissed, "I can't believe I went on with this! It's making my nerves fringe apart! And you made me horrible! I can't go out like this!"

Groaning, Izzie sat down beside her and detached the braids, her misty blonde hair falling down her shoulders, slightly curled. She grabbed a napkin from the table and rubbed it across Meredith's cheeks, the very pink blusher contaminating the paper, the vivid color fading from her face.

"Better?"

"Yes"

Alex, who had miraculously finished his fourth bottle of beer in less than half an hour, forced himself up from the floor and to the kitchen to bring in another load. On his way, he grabbed Meredith's shoulder reassuringly and installed the tequila back into her familiar hands.

"You look hot. Keep drinking."

"Alex!" Izzie berated.

Silently watching, Cristina and George sat back on the couch in a relaxed state as Izzie followed Alex into the kitchen, a warning lecture waiting him there while Meredith jogged up the stairs for a closer inspection of herself in the bedroom mirror. They watched each other speculatively, both waiting to start a bet, something they always did on occasions like this. In respect to a dangerously jittery Meredith, this time they'd waited until she was out of the room.

A grin spread on George's lips as Cristina threw a fifty dollar bill on the coffee table.

"Fifty bucks Chucky will think she looks like a trashy Christmas three."

George outnumbered her stakes. "Sixty she ends up drunk long before Shepherd arrives"

* * *

"You look beautiful" Derek complimented her on their way to his car. He'd been picking her up and waiting outside her door like the gentleman he was, and now taking her to the supreme Space Needle for an exquisite dinner.

"Thank you" Meredith breathed, explaining, "Izzie"

"I should have guessed that" He smiled, "it's very…bright"

"A little too bright. I would very much rather wear my scrubs but I guess they don't allow that on the Space Needle"

"Actually…" A small grin was freed on his lips, "I made a change in our plans. I hope you don't mind"

"Oh no Derek" She cracked out, placing her palm on her forehead, frustrated. "You know I hate surprises. And I'm already terrified and intimidated. I can't deal with more right now"

"Actually" He went to stand before her, "I think it's gonna make you a little less tensed. I know you don't care that much about sophistication and fanciness and I know things have gotten more complicated for you since Addison's arrival. I'm grateful that you've still agreed to meet my daughter and instead of sitting on the edge of a chair in formal restaurants, I arranged something else for us" He placed both hands on her shoulders and rubbed them carefully.

"It will be informal and more intimate. That way, we can talk and laugh and spill as much food as we want without being arrested for it. And Charlotte is really not that type of socialite either, so she'll like it too" He eyed her hopeful, "what do you think?"

"It sounds good" She smiled back, "were we going?"

"To my trailer" He divulged, "I caught some fine trout this morning and it's all settled. I just need to prep it"

Meredith blinked, surprised. "We're going to the trailer?" She demanded softly.

"Yeah…Is that a bad thing?"

"No. It's really nice, actually. I like the trailer" She murmured affectionately, "Thank you"

He responded with a shallow kiss, their tongues barely swiping across the other lightly. As cars and people passed them in the early night's twilight, Meredith pulled away shyly, Derek grinning smugly.

"We should get going" He reached for her hand, "you're ready?"

As she didn't seem to move, Derek gave her a worried look. "Meredith?"

"What if she doesn't like me?" She panicked, "I have never hung out with kids before, not since I was one myself. I don't remember…how they are and what they like…"

He wrapped one arm around her waist as he leant into her. "Mer…" He soothed, "it'll be fine. Charlotte's open to meet new people. It will be okay and you'll enjoy each other's company, I can assure you. She's my five-year old charmer, not the wise president"

"It's just…" She bit down on her lip, "when you were gone I had a patient…He was drunk, obviously so I don't know how much trust I should put in his words but…He said that if a kid doesn't like her or his parent's new girlfriend or boyfriend and apparently that goes for the father-daughter relation especially, the parent would end the relationship.

"You're afraid that if she won't like you, I would dump you" Derek concluded.

"Would you?" She looked up at him slowly.

"Meredith, no" He refused, disbelieved. "I'm an adult, I'm perfectly capable of choosing my own girlfriend. And I chose you. She's my daughter, she'll have a say, obviously, but she don't get to decide anything regarding us" He laid a gentle hand upon her blonde locks, "I picked you, I want you to stay. And no one, beside yourself get to change that. Which I hope you don't plan on, by the way."

She let out a lightweight chuckle as she dried a quick hand past her eyes. "I don't" She confessed honestly.

"Good" He pulled her closer and pressed a firm kiss on her cheek. His arm encircled her waist as he led her to the car silently. Helping her get seated, he moved to the driver's side, twisting the keys to awake the engine. He looked to her side with an optimistic smile while rubbing her left knee comfortingly.

"You ready?"

She parted her lips and blew out heavily and regularly, like she was some obsessive pregnant repeating her breathing exercises on every chance she got. She arched en eyebrow in surprise. I did actually bring some effect. The constant aching brick of fear seemed to crumble a little and the unbearable feeling was replaced with butterflies fluttering anxiously instead.

"Yeah" She made a shaky laugh, "I'm ready"

* * *

**I know I said Meredith and Charlotte would meet in this chapter, I just felt it would fit in better in the next one. I'm already about to write that so keep your eyes up for another update sometime soon:)**

**Oh, and just to information, if you didn't already know ; Missouri's nickname is "the show me state", hence the internal joke about "show me sex" and stuff:P**


	16. Chapter Sixteen: And Then You

**Here's another update and their faithful meeting. I hope you enjoy, I didn't know when I started writing this how I wanted it to turn out but I hope it's decent:) Next chapter will be very Addison centric since there won't be much of her in this. It might take at least two weeks though. School's back and I have Spanish, math and physics test, all in the next week. Also, my amazing German German teacher chose to leave her students in the lurch just to go on living happily ever after in her new house back in Berlin and instead we got this angry, austere old guy who's throwing tests as us every week. **

**But I won't complain since weekend's starting!:) Enjoy and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

"Here, try this" Derek placed a spoonful with a piece of the filleted trout, dampened in his special secret gravy, before her lips. Meredith gaped voluntarily and swallowed happily.

"It's good" She approved with a mouthful.

"Yeah?" He smirked, dipping the same spoon into the saucepan for a culinary sample himself, "better than grilled cheese for breakfast?"

She slapped his arm playfully with a chuckle, "kinda"

"Kinda, huh" He licked up the rests, a satisfied smile showing, pleasantly surprised with himself "It is good. I'm a good cook, aren't I?"

"You are" She stated, poking his thigh with her toes from her place upon the kitchen counter in his small trailer. Charlotte hadn't arrived yet, thanks to the heavy traffic. Addison had promised to pick her up after work and drive her to Derek's but the city's rush hour seemed to tick by slowly. Growing audaciously, she moved a little upwards, stroking his inner thigh on her way in between his legs. Leashing his lusty expression as he restrained himself, he backed off a few step to where her feet wouldn't reach him.

"That will have to wait for a later occasion. I see you're still dealing with the repercussion of last night's adventures" He teased, "I'm pleased to hear I did my job just right" He bent down to the miniature fridge installed on the floor, taking out a cooled bottle.

"Beer?" He offered her, "I thought about dropping by the liquor store but I have some beer bottles left and I decided you would be okay with it. And I rarely drink in front of her"

"Beer's fine" Her lips clutched the bottle spout, "but remember to make this my last. I already had my shot of tequila and we don't want to end up drunk and embarrass ourselves completely in front of innocent stepdaughters"

"No we don't" He grinned, pressing a swift kiss to her cheek before turning back to the kitchen stove. Meredith eyed his back inquisitively.

"So, tell me something about her. Give me something to work on, a few details"

"Just like you figured me out" He pointed out cheerfully, "what do you wanna know"?

"I don't know. Basic things, I guess. Like…what's her favorite color, any preferred hobby, the name of her best friend…Favorite animal, personal traits and characteristic gestures. Besides the chatty thing."

"You know about that, do you" He nodded savvily, Meredith caught red-handed, "I know you know. You and Cristina spent some time outside the daycare center today, didn't you?"

"What?" She placed the bottle beside her on the counter, "what…do you mean…exactly?"

"Jennie, her teacher, seems to be a bit of a sneak" He remarked sarcastically, "she told me there were two questionable doctor girls, one skinny, snappy Asian and a rambling blonde at her side. That way, I was left without doubt."

"I'm sorry" Meredith excused, uneasily looking down on her feet, "we didn't mean to loiter. I just wanted to take a peek, to get a glimpse of what she looked like. And I think I spotted the right girl. If so, she is very beautiful"

"It's okay, Meredith, I don't mind" He said kindly, "did she see you?"

"I doubt it. We left in a rush. Cristina made me. Just don't tell her, okay?"

"I won't" He vowed, pressing his lips to her temple firmly. "So, you want to know the basic stuff? I might have to warn you, there will be some bragging in between all information"

"I'm all ears" She sat up consciously.

"Okay, let's see…Her middlename? Lauren. Favorite color is red. Not wine red. Bright red. Like blood. She likes fishing and bicycling. And she wants to be an ice skater, but I believe that's too risky. What if she trips and fall? And her head hits the ice?" Derek shook his head, determined, "no, I won't support that. But we made a compromise. Ballet. That way she can do pirouettes in girly dresses on safe ground" He rattled, "enough about that. Her best friend is Haylie. She's really cute. Have you ever heard about neurosurgeon Levine on the east coast?" Meredith nodded, "She's his daughter. Because of that it's been natural and practical for me and Addison to socialize with he and his wife. She's born in November so she's a scorpio although she's in many ways the opposite of one. When she falls and scrapes her knees nothing's more comforting than me and a pink Hello Kitty band-aid. She's left handed, just like a bunch of other great world leaders" He grinned, "So far she seems to have an interest for math and astronomy. She wants to become a rocket scientist one day, or a vet."

"The geeky stuff" Meredith cut in with a smile.

"Yeah" He hummed, "she's pretty much a geeky being"

"Just like you" She teased.

"Just like me" Derek caught her eyes and sent her a warm smile. "That's it. That's all you've earned for now. The rest you just have to…"

"Take on faith" She counted, already familiar with his last line.

"Or figure out yourself. She might give you one or two hints"

"You sound like mysterious people, both of you"

"Like you wouldn't know" He grinned, joking, thinking back to the days when his wife and daughter didn't exist in his girlfriend's world.

A sudden light from outside and a roaring engine made them both turn around, the healthy glow from Meredith's face vanishing a little.

"They're here" He stated, as if she hadn't gotten a clue already. He put a warm hand upon her cheek reassuringly, then holding out three glasses for her to take.

"Do you put them on the table and I'll lit some candles. It'll be nice eating outside tonight"

"Er, right" She stammered, following him closely to the patio outside to spruce up the already set table. A blank polished Mercedes parked on the gravel next to Derek's vintage Land Rover. He looked up proudly and put an arm around Meredith's shoulders.

"Breathe…" He whispered comfortingly, awaiting Addison and Charlotte to step out. A minute passed silently as the redhead turned around to the backseat inside her car, clearly telling Charlotte something. Meredith's torturously await was only intensified when she finally climbed out, her longs legs swaggering confidently on murderous stiletto heels even on the muddy ground.

"Hey!" She waved, acknowledging them cheerfully, "I have a surprise for you!"

She opened the door to the backseat and Derek's assumedly living image entered the outdoors. Her chestnut hair was bound up by a slack ponytail and she was wearing a bright red blouse and jeans. She looked up at the trailer for a short moment and Meredith's heart made an anxious jump. It was her! It was the exact same girl from daycare! Addison slung her blue backpack over her arm and kept a tight grip around Charlotte's hand. Still smiling as they approached them, Addison handed Derek Charlotte's satchel.

"You got her boots? Because I can't find them and if it starts raining-"

"I got them" He assured her as he bent down the catch Charlotte in a hug, then pressing a finger to her nose, "how are you, princess?"

"Fine" She proclaimed silently.

"Well, alright then, I have to go" Addison pronounced, a little impatient. "Patients are waiting. I'll see you tomorrow. Be good, alright?" She hugged Charlotte goodbye but the little girl didn't seem to respond on her mother's require. Letting go of her daughter, she went attentive towards Meredith.

"Hey Meredith"

"Hello Addison" She said, her mouth drying up inside. She swallowed twice, nervously. As Addison installed herself back in the driver's seat, Derek kneeled in front of Charlotte, his azure eyes looking at her, hopeful.

"Charlotte, this is Meredith" He presented proudly, "She's a very good friend of mine and I'm really happy you two finally get to meet"

Instead of inspecting the alien woman curiously, Charlotte eyes followed Addison as her car rolled down the graveled lane to disappear seconds later.

"Everything's okay?" Derek stepped in front of her in order to get her attention back to present moment as Meredith swayed restlessly in the background.

She nodded indecisively, looking away. Derek brushed a warm hand across her cheek. "Mommy will be back tomorrow. Right now I would want you to meet Meredith" His looks swiped between his females, an encouraging smile addressed for Charlotte while his tranquilized expression made a composing effect on Meredith's nerves.

"Hey!" She started bravely, a little too cheerful for her own taste. Apparently for Derek too as he wasn't used to be bombarded with her upbeat antics on a daily basis, but as a supportive favor to her he sent her a wide smile.

"Hi" Charlotte replied, much less enthusiastic. She clutched Derek's arm tightly and pressed her face against his waist, not exactly encouraging Meredith to go on any further.

Not losing her guts just yet, she kept on trying. "So, your dad's told me a lot about you"

"Daddy" Another word came out bluntly.

"What?"

"She prefers daddy" Derek explained with a small smile, "one can only hope it sticks till she's thirty-five"

"Oh, right" She made a mental note to self, "I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

"It's okay, Meredith" Derek promised, "you have nothing to be sorry for" He smiled at Charlotte, "Hey, why don't you go ahead and tell Meredith about the ballet class you want to attend while I'll be in the kitchen to check on the food?" He suggested, secretly hoping that his very temporary absence would cause Charlotte to open up a little. He held out the chairs for them to get seated and hovered, lackeying.

"Can I get you anything to drink while you wait?"

"Water's fine" Meredith forced a smile.

"Absolutely" He nodded, "and for you, Charlotte?"

"I don't want anything" She buried her head in her hands as she kept staring ahead blankly.

"Fanta it is, then" He decided to ignore her dull atmosphere, hoping for his cheerful mood to sooner or later to infect the lack of hers.

"If you'll excuse me ladies, I'll be right back with your drinks"

His absence was obvious just as Derek closed the trailer door behind him, silence attacking them ruefully. Charlotte's attention was drawn towards a ladybird trailing across the tabletop in a rapid pace. She pressed her elbows against the table's edge, her head resting in her hands as she studied the jetsetter bug closely. It ran back and forwards desperately, finding no familiar growths to walk on. Charlotte put her small finger in front of it awaitingly and the insect crawled up, balancing its bright red coat proudly in her flat palm. She held her hand up high, blowing carefully to watch the ladybird spread the tiny wings to fly into the great nowhere.

"Did you make a wish?" Meredith asked enthusiastically, "it might come true you know. As long as you keep it a secret"

Irresponsive, she dropped off her chair and disappeared through the door. Inside, she went to stand beside Derek in the kitchen corner.

"Hey" He greeted while dosing the food out on the three plates, "how's it going out there?"

She tugged on his jeans' backpocket demandingly. "Daddy, I'm tired…"

"You're tired?" He eyed her surprised, "well that's a first. Normally we have to drag you to bed"

"I wanna sleep…"

"Not now" He refused, "we're gonna eat" Holding a plate with the fish dish he smiled proudly, "looks good, doesn't it?"

"I'm not hungry"

"You will be while getting this served right in front of you" He juggled two glasses, one in each hand on their way back out.

"Here you go" He set one before Meredith and the orange soda next to Charlotte's place.

"I don't want it" She kept on protesting.

"Then leave it" Ducking inside again he brought out the plates, carrying his homecooked meal. He handed them over to his two girls before reaching for his own. Serving himself politely as last he sat down to accompany them.

"Alright then" He declared, making himself comfortable in his seat, "bon appetite. I think you might like this"

"It looks delicious" Meredith reached for her knife and fork, ready to carve the filet. Derek chewed on his first piece and eyed her with great pleasure from across the table. She looked stunning tonight, the golden flash of candles sparkling the delicate features of her face.

One look to his left and his affectionate gaze vanished. Charlotte was tipping her glass around so the orange fluid flushed out, creating a strange mess on her plate. The sugary stuff welled over the fine piece of fish, drowning the whole meal in cheap liquid.

Angrily, he tore the glass from her hands without a word. Besides anger, frustration and a whole lot of other not- so -fond emotions he felt badly betrayed. As he had been standing for hours by the stove, making up everything from scratch in order to give her a nice first experience when meeting Meredith, she gave him respectless indifferency in return.

Unsure thoughts crept into his mind. He'd been a bad guy to her, for far too long. He owed his daughter a whole lot but somewhere he was sure they'd been able to make amends, at least it had come out that way. Was this some sort of personal vendetta? If so, the timing couldn't have been worse. Or, if that was Charlotte's intention, better.

Derek put her half-empty glass next to his, keeping it quarantined. She reached out but Derek's hand pried hers away.

"Get inside" He instructed bluntly after a death silent period of time.

Charlotte look at him, partly stunned.

"You heard me. And take the plate with you. You're gonna clean that up while reflecting your behavior tonight"

She rolled her eyes but obeyed, seeming almost eager to be dismissed from their tensed society.

"Meredith" Derek breathed once she was in, "I'm so sorry. I don't know what's going on. She's not usually like this and certainly not to strangers"

"Does she know about the divorce?" She ideated, "that could explain it"

"No, she doesn't "He admitted ruefully and guiltily for keeping his girlfriend an undisclosed secret to her when even strangers at the hospital knew. "I will tell her soon, I promise"

"There's no rush. I understand. You need time. I'm not in a hurry" Her emerald eyes gazed him affectionately, "_we're_ not in a hurry"

"God Meredith" He uttered, learning how much mature she really was. Dark and twisty versus bright and shiny was definitely not covering enough, she was more an adult then he and Addison together. The way she'd taken the news about his family, how she embraced their relationship even with his daughter in tow was something to admire.

"God, you're so amazing…"

"I'm a Grey, I'm not" She confessed, perfectly modest. "I just don't want you to force anything because of me. When you feel comfortable and when it comes natural, then it's the right time to tell. I can wait. You and I have time"

"We have time" He agreed blissfully.

* * *

Half an hour later, when Derek and Meredith had consumed all that was left on their plates and in their glasses, Charlotte was still fencing herself, protestant, inside the trailer's nest. Frankly, he'd thought she would sooner or later come out by herself but she seemed to keep standing her ground stubbornly for some reason. A chocolately dessert was waiting as a post-course to their dinner and Derek had a feeling she would come crawling back when finding out. He just knew her all too well.

Slowly he dropped his eyes from Meredith's glorious presence and gathered up the dirty dishware. "Give me a minute, okay? I'm gonna get the dessert and that way I think I should be able to entice her back out. You want coffee?"

"Yes please" Meredith desired, drawing up her legs a little so he could go by the narrow passage between her and the table. He gave her a promising smile when disappearing through the door, frowning when entering as all lights were out in the small longue. He pressed the switcher and deposed the dish load on the kitchen's countertop. He didn't spot her at first, the couch was neatly empty, the small TV screen black and out of motion.

A look inside, he saw a crumpled mess on his bed, the covers hiding a protruding bundle. Connecting the plug on the coffeemaker to the outlet and hearing it start to weep silently while producing black caffeine, he left the small kitchen and moved inside his bedroom. Sitting down on the edge, he lifted the covers a little to reveal her upper clothing, a white plush pajama jacket, small teddy bears strewn all across the soft material.

"You already changed into your PJ's?" Derek asked, surprised. "I thought you were meeting us outside for dessert"

She pulled the comforter over her head and rolled away from him.

"What's going on, hmm?" He demanded softly while climbing up in bed after her. "Why won't you sit with us? Why won't you talk to Meredith?"

There was some movement underneath the linen and she stuck her head out, her face dejected.

"I don't feel well"

"You're sick?" The sense of agony in his voice seemed to die out as he pressed a hand to her potentially feverish skin.

"If you let me do a quick exam…"

"I'm not sick" She protested, looking at him. Without noticing she took on her pair of large puppy eyes, Derek catching the flash from her sapphire optics as they were as clones to his owns. Charlotte blinked hard, denying any tears a free passage down the sculpted frame of her face. Derek's palm still rested on her forehead, his thumb brushing warmly over a small spot, awaiting her explanation.

"I'm sad" She confessed.

"Why's that?" Derek whispered comfortingly.

While he was sitting lazily in the center of the bed it took another while for Charlotte to creep out of her hibernated hiding place below the beddings, but as she finally did she placed herself next to him, legs crossed.

"You and Mommy are not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore?" She suspected, apparently from out of nowhere.

"What?" He said, gasping a little, taken aback by the sudden shocker.

"Mommy was talking to someone" She said, retelling last night's discovery when she had woken up in the late of the night to become an eavesdropper by accident to Addison's phone call with Savannah, one of the closest in her circle of friends, completely oblivious to her daughter's spontaneous presence. Charlotte was indeed one little pitcher with large ears who had taken notice of most of the conversation as Addison hadn't cared about keeping her voice down.

Secrets had been thrown out in the empty luxe suite's air, one revelation posted after another.

"Why not, Daddy?" Desperation elevated from her gut and up her throat, "why are you not married anymore?"

"We are" He swallowed, finding it painfully hard to cope with the young news when not even Addison knew that the previous night's secret was undisclosed to other than Savvy. Derek had, during the last month, made himself an image of how to serve the news to their daughter the best way possible.

They were supposed to sit down, all three, the nuclear family, and tell her in a careful and respective manner. No quick fix. There was too much past involved. No ripping of the band-aid this time.

Suddenly another thought struck him. Charlotte was, with good reason, out of her usual self today and had a hard time breaking out of her reticent shell to endure an introduction to his new girlfriend.

"We're still married" He went on carefully, "by law. It means that in public, on papers…we still are." His hand returned to her face and he cupped it in between his palms.

"But she's not my girlfriend anymore." The sentence heaved his voice, "And I am not her boyfriend"

Between the next room of silence he spoke up again, meaning every word.

"Honey, we never wanted you to find out like this-"

Exceptionally brainy as she was, she knew how to put two and two together.

"Is she your girlfriend?" She insisted.

"Meredith?" Charlotte nodded.

A heavy gush of air broke through as he parted his lips to post a reasonable reply but just that, the easy two alternatives- yes or no, were ten times harder than he had thought. He couldn't exactly ask her to define the "yes" either.

"She's a very good friend of mine" He said at last, doubting the worth of trust in it.

"Do you kiss her?" She prompted.

To save himself from the uncomfortable inquires, he flied off at a tangent, "Charlie, Mommy and I want to talk about this with you, okay? This won't affect you in any bad way, I promise. You'll get to see both of us. Every day"

"Why are you still married then?" She asked warily.

"It's complicated but we'll do our best to explain everything to you the best way possible" He said truthfully, "but no matter what happens no one will ever take Mommy's, or my place." He rocked her against his chest, the way he'd done since her very first hour in the world outside Addison's womb.

"Can you do me one last favor?" He mumbled against her hair.

"What's that?" She wondered, snuggling in his embrace without looking up.

"Can you come with me back outside and have dessert with Meredith?"

She bit her lip quietly as Derek went on. "I care about her very much and I really want you to like her too. She agreed on meeting you and I know it took her a lot of courage to do that. I think she's a bit nervous out there"

"Why?"

"She doesn't have lots of experience with children" He explained, chuckling, "will you try to make her see they're not as scary as they seem?"

"Meredith's scared of kids?" She lifted her head from the warm spot on his chest, her face markedly amused as well as disbelieved, "we're not scary!"

"I know" He smirked as he wrapped his arms around her from behind, his lips drawn to her cheek repeatedly, "will you prove it to her?"

* * *

Charlotte eyed Meredith with great curiosity from across the table as Derek put down the small china plates decorated neatly with spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream on a piece of crisp waffles, thin lines of chocolate sauce and red berries featuring on top.

"Meredith?" She asked, taking the spoon in her hand, ready to pounce on the sweet with great enthusiasm, "are you a doctor, too?"

Surprised, the blonde intern looked up to stare right at Derek's happy grin and Charlotte's interrogative gaze.

"Uhm…Yes, I am actually. I work with your dad"

"Really?" Her query intensified, "is he a good doctor"?

Derek watched them with an amused smile and Meredith couldn't stand to let down his self-pride.

"He is" She answered Charlotte and the neurosurgeon himself, "he's a brilliant doctor. You should be very proud"

"Oh, she is" Derek stated, much assured. "you're my biggest fan, aren't you princess"?

"Yes!" She let out an eager cheer before her eyes fell back on Meredith, awe glinting in her eyes. "Are you a better doctor than my daddy?"

As tempted as she was to say yes, to mock and tease her boyfriend on the other side of her she felt like going honest with the young girl.

"Unfortunately, I'm not. Not yet. That's why he's my superior. My teacher basically. I haven't been doing this for a very long time but your daddy has and I'm very grateful to get to learn from his experiences and hopefully, someday, I'll be able to compete with him"

"Daddy is your teacher?" Charlotte made wide eyes, "I didn't know that!"

"Yeah, he is. And a great one too"

"I am. And it takes a lot of work teaching Meredith. She's a bit of a handful" Derek grinned at her, "and I teach her in all sorts of ways. Personally, I prefer to go slow with her. That way, I can be more specific in teaching and Meredith gets the time to really prove to me what she's learned and if everything goes right, she'll…shout it out…afterwards…" Judging by the way his goofy smirk was pressing upon her, he was making it clear that the main topic was being sidetracked and that he didn't care for the hospital's teaching protocols anymore, but their experimental sex life.

"…But sometimes a quick lesson is good, too. If we're busy, we can sneak into my office when being free and just…succumb to indoctrinating intercourses…" He uttered with amazement in his eyes.

Meredith blushed heavily as he went on teasing.

"Sometimes, I even let her hold the scalpel. Meredith, it feels good, doesn't it? When you clutch the surgical necessity in your fist and let your fingers run up and down the length of it, massive and hard as stainless steel…"

She sent him a threatening look, that alone not putting an end to the secret tantalizing.

"But of course" He shrugged, "she might not always deserve that privilege. If she don't put enough effort in her…homework…"

"Homework?" Charlotte cut in, "Meredith have homework?"

She was able to silence him for a short second when she gave his leg a powered kick with the tip of her platform heels. He flashed a stunned look, then eyeing his daughter seriously. "Oh, yes. School compulsories is mere chicken food compared to what Meredith has to put up with"

"Poor Meredith" Charlotte's sympathy for the young doc was nothing but genuine, "why are you so strict to her, daddy?"

"I have to. The hospital requires it. It's part of the long and crippling road you have to pass in order to become a great doctor and surgeon"

"What happens if she ditch?"

"If she ditch homework?" Charlotte nodded.

"Is she ditch homework…" Derek's voice went black, "there's no other way than to punish her…"

She threw her head in Meredith's direction, exclaiming. "Poor you!"

"Alright!" The intern expressed nervously, photographic moments from their last night flashing through her mind, her brain having recorded every scene of it, from where he had dragged her into the on-call room with a fist holding her blonde ponytail in a tight lock, unclamping her bra violently as his next move, then wrestling her down on the bed, her butt spanked repeatedly before he entered her at last, full force.

It had been torturously thrilling. Very energetic with an impulse of sadistic tendencies. If she had to be honest it hadn't felt like a punishment at all… His little minor had been wrong. There was no poor Meredith. At all…

Regaining reason after voluntarily throwing herself back into the heat of the previous night and therefore relinquishing her piece of judgment for the moment, she tracked Derek down by her criticizing glare.

"Are we gonna talk about something else or what?"

"I like your hair!" Charlotte's merry comment came to the rescue and Meredith thanked her silently. "My…hair?" She touched the ends of her blonde locks, uncertain.

"Yes" Charlotte complimented, "it's blonde. I like blonde hair. It's pretty"

"Oh, thanks. Yours is too" She replied, feeling flattered by her comment, "what about your dad's hair? He has a whole lot of crazy females checking it out at work"

"It's nice" She said earnestly, Derek carefully listening to her conclusive answer. "But I like long hair better. Like yours and mine. Daddy would look weird with long hair" She snickered at the imagination of him going long and blonde, "have you seen my Mommy's hair?" Meredith nodded, familiar with her mother's crimson perfection. "She has pretty hair, too. It's red and that's very rare. That's why people are looking at her, because she's anomalous" She said, surprising both of them with an adult vocabulary.

"Mommy's not anomalous. That's not nice" Derek reprimanded with a short-lived laugh, "but people being born a natural redhead makes a minority in society, you're right about that"

"But I like blonde hair better" To Meredith's surprise Charlotte didn't go on worshipping everything about Addison's utopian beauty like she had reckoned. Instead, she took a piece of Meredith's golden hair between her fingers to admire its color crashing with the candles, the small flames being blown back and forth by the harassing wind as the modesty of moonlight made a shy appearance on the dull canvas of the sky, the highlight mirroring the shades of her hair.

"You're verypretty" She couldn't help but smile at Charlotte's kind words. Derek lent back in his nearby chair and watched them, a smile safely plastered on his face while taking place in the background to watch them form some sort of bond, little by little. Meredith gave him a small smile before her attention was drawn back to Charlotte as she was tugging on her arm insistently. Who would have thought that Meredith Grey would be able to stay sane around a kid, let alone bond with one? So they weren't close yet things seemed to start running smoothly and she wasn't nervous anymore. She felt…actually fine. For real, this time. Cristina would be ashamed. His smile was still evident as she looked back at Derek. For sure, he was proud of her. She could tell. And that was all that mattered. If Charlotte accepted her at once or if she found out she needed more time…She would give her more time.

Because they had time.

Lots of it.

**Review?:)**


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Right Here, Right Now

**Heey...I'm slowly reentering this site.. Can't apologize enough really. It never ment to abandon this story and I never really feel like I have. This is the one I like writing the most. But life has been so overwhelming for the past months and... years. **

**I've had this on my computer for such a long time although I thought I'd come to delete it. So I just made some tiny changes and decided to post it in its pretty much original form. I haven't given up on this and FF writing really makes recreation to me so if there's anyone out there still checking it out from time to time I'd like to go on with it : )**

**I've get a few requests on whether or not this is for real an Addek fic or not, to y'all I just want to say: soon it's gonna be. I'm an Addeker after all and now's that PP's over and Grey's starting to move into it's final final season I need a little Addek bliss more than ever. **

**Little bit of introduction in this chapter, as well as a flashback. I hope you like it. Everyone loves flashbacks right? : D**

* * *

"Doctor Shepherd, that was so much inappropriate!" Meredith's giggles broke Addison's thoughts off. The prodigy redhead was standing at the reception counter, debating her restless schedule for the next couple of weeks. Turning her head for the hallway doors she saw the sprightly couple making progress as they strode down the passageway in a quick, synchronic manner, Derek's arm thrown around her shoulders, his mute and sultry voice creating gasps and perky grimaces on his girlfriend's face. She was not within a hearing distance and she wasn't an excellent lip reader but from the way they wore themselves in public like that, it had to be something revolving sex. For sure, something she did not intend on to let bother her.

"Er, hi" She dropped her pen and brought a clumsy hand through her hair but picked up her papers straight away in order to appear calm and insensible to their obvious and, slightly nauseating affection.

"Hey" Meredith was able to utter in between all rise of audible elation and she looked down as Derek sent a smug grin her way, his palm pressing on the lower parts of Meredith's back, ushering her out of Addison's way.

"Excuse us…" He pardoned in a discourteous manner while taking all of Meredith's built into vision, picturing every inch of her parts naked and exposed to his indulging eyes.

"Sure…" Although she didn't want to witness their obscene, she found it particularly hard turning back to what was urgent administrative work laying on the desk in front of her. She tore her willpower down and let her eyes follow the couple in love all the way out, into the lobby until they boarded the elevator and rose three floors along with it.

As much as she didn't want to think about it, the resent sight brought her ten years back in time to when she and Derek were residents at Mount Sinai, constantly tormented by their supervisors all the way from their first day as interns till they actually started their fellowship. Those seven years made the trickiest time in her life, not even when she pressed a massive watermelon-sized creature out of her vagina did she experience such excruciating pain.

* * *

FLASHBACK

_Mount Sinai Hospital, New York, 1997_

Addison parted the red bangs off her forehead while she brushed away a few sweaty pearls in one manner. Her cheeks were flushing a stressed shade of pink by running from one department and back to another. She was doing general surgery this morning as well as being ER duty volunteer, hoping that it would, sooner or later, give her extra points in the race for chief resident when time came for her, along with her fellow interns, whom she would nickname her hospital brothers and sisters, to join the competition. Until then, they were ought to be a group of incapacitated loners at the bottom of the surgical food chain.

"Hello there, thee gorgeous wife of mine" A domestic voice appeared behind her, a pair of hands being strategically placed right on her midriff. She jumped around, snapped out of her husband's grip and pushed his hands off her, wheezing at him.

"Derek! What are you doing?"

"I'm saying hello" He kissed her cheek before another protest was being let loose.

"You're doing a great more than that" She commented and shunned away a little, leaving Derek with a toothy grin, running a slack hand through his ruffled mane of black, held in an untouched, disordered state since last night's passionate happening.

"Aren't I allowed to greet the love of my life this beautiful morning?"

"The hospital board doesn't really approve of it, you know that very well. And Doctor Baylow, don't even get me started about Doctor Baylow…"

"What's with Baylow? You know she loves us…"

"Correction, she loves _you. _She resents me."

"Addison, that's crazy. You know that right?"

"She told me" She argued while still being caught in his resistant embrace, "verbatim."

"I'm sure you've got it wrong. She's a nice woman. However…I didn't spend all this time tracking you down so we could chat about her…" His lips angled closer to her ear while his hand got a hold on her arm, "come…with me…"

"And with that look on your face you mean come as in cum" She just read him too well, "I can't. I'm working, and this is my playground for the next of weeks." She held out her hand, presenting the wide open trauma room to his eyes, bending over to catch the phone over the reception desk as it started to chime out loud. "Doctor Shepherd at Mount Sinai, emergency room, what can I do for you?...Aha…hypertension? Subferile rise in temperature? Abdominal pain? Okay, I'll write it down. I would like to examine your son just to be absolutely sure, please bring him in for a checkout. We have an experienced nurse and doctor staff available at your arrival. Okay…No problem, okay, bye." She hung up and put the receiver down. Derek attempted an abduction of her lover by pulling at her waist.

"Doctor Shepherd" He teased, "you're needed in an on-call room. Your husband needs some good, old healin' luvin'."

"A six year old is fighting a durable phenumonia, presenting a few suspicious symptoms with it. I'd say it's a virus but his constant malaise puts worry on his mother and his regular doctor is packed with other patients. I don't want to put a single child at risk, I want to take a look, run a test or two." His offer received a cold shoulder, "Sorry. Sick kid trumps sex. You would have to heal yourself while I'm gone"

"For how long?" He wondered, suddenly lacking passionate fierce.

"An hour, maybe two. Tops" She gave his right cheek a lippy smack, "wait for me. I'll be there."

_An hour later_

"Hi there, handsome" She peeked through the given on-call room door, spotting her husband for two years naked and in bed, the sheer covers exposing all but his magnificent family jewels, sporting an already visible bulge behind it.

"Come here" He smiled, fascination filling his eyes while eyeing her. According to Addison herself, she wasn't much to look at after a dozen hours, sometimes even more, spent at her workplace, the hospital. Her feet were sore, her skin all red and itchy and her ponytail didn't resemble even the simplest kind of hairdo anymore. On top of that, she always got extra cranky when her caffeine addicted system didn't get its cravings met at regular intervals. Derek though, had a completely different view on her appearance; he seemed to cherish every little flaw, instead making it part of his wife's unique features.

"How did it go?" He jumped off the cliff of the bed, the linen accidentally slipping from his waist, landing inches from his feet. His pert and naked erection stood out straight, slightly accidentally stroking the mint green fabric of her scrub top.

"Oh!" She reversed a little, taken aback by the intense welcome. "Hard-on alert!"

"How did it go?" He simpered as he picked up the covers, carelessly rearranging it around his hips.

"Virus" She breathed a sigh of relief, "luckily. If I'd misdiagnosed that kid-"

"But you didn't. And you have yet to make that mistake. You're not like the rest of us, Addie. You're different than us. Better. This radar you seem to have got along with your passion for children in need of you gets you out of trouble."

"That's not…true…" She didn't have a hard time giving compliments but accepting those being addressed her way appeared to be a bit of a challenge. "I screw up a lot"

"Hardly. And never in peds" He touched her hand for a brief second, flashing a hint of a smile, "I wish you could see yourself the way others do"

"You're losing track" She chuckled as she put her head on his shoulder, "I was paged to get sex. Enough with the sentimentality"

"Oh, alright" He grabbed her by her waist, swirled her around so that her back was looking at him and slipped a hand inside her scrub top, feeling up the warmth of her stomach, not pausing until he came to touch the soft structure of her breast, hidden behind the sheer lace of her bra, "sex it is."

She slipped the green top over her head as he expertly began to finger the lock of her bra. He completed his mission in a rushed sec, and to please his eyesight, her precisely sculpted rack was being freed from the bra's support, although her young breasts were springy and swaying at just the right height. Had it been up to Derek Addison would be walking around, constantly braless. That way, her saucy nipples that always came off as so sensitive, could make their way through every fabric of whatever top she would wear, and give him sexy hints and winks.

"Oooh, honey," He roared and threw her backwards onto the narrow bed, in reality only meant for one person and not for the weight of one athletic man and his wife, both filled with vim and vigor while doing each other, non-stop. He laid his head on her stomach, flipped his head up to make contact with her lazy, bleu gaze as he caught her breasts with his hands, one held captured in each palm.

"You're so gloriously delicious…"

Sensing his tongue's next move, Addison's breath hitched in her throat once it crossed her rosy nipple in a wet move and her throat expelled a heavy gush that was being sent through her slightly parted lips.

"And so…" Her voice trembled expectantly, "are you…"

Without another word, he smiled at her, assuring, comforting, and helped her body ease into the comfort of their negligible love nest by patting the pillows below her head, tossing the covers aside and separating the green scrub pants from her skin as he slid it off her lean legs and calves. Thence, he lifted her hips and put her feet flat on the plain mattress.

"And now…" His voice sank into a loving whisper, "I'm gonna move your legs apart 'till they're all spread open and remove your panties with my teeth...And THEN…"

"Derek!" She yelped, overwrought with the way he was playing out their torturously slow foreplay. She grabbed a pillow from underneath her and smashed it in her face, feeling butterflies not only fluttering but kicking, if possible, like crazy inside her gut. She was that far out on sexual edge already, only minutes into their sweet prelude.

Derek flashed a grin as he shred his own uniform, Addison's face still secretly hid behind the pillow. He parted her legs and crept in between them, one hand holding onto her boob, starting to lightly massage it and she flinched at the physical engagement that came upon her as out of the blue because of her blocked vision.

He let himself utter a taunting snicker, "are you seriously not going to watch at all when I allow myself a taste of the finest of our heaven?"

"No" She shut her legs stubbornly, "did you just-"

"Refer to your lollipop" He finished saucily, "yes I did. And that's too bad. I'd like to see your face when I go down there. I'm gonna lick your pus till you squirt me in the face." He tugged at her knees, "open up"

She wasn't going to let her stupid pride keep her from an earthshaking orgasm this day so she yielded without further hesitation, leaving her legs agape, waiting his next move.

Derek, naked and gloriously sweaty, rolled over to look his wife in the eyes. He was still breathing with some effort, their physical love work taking a certain toll on them.

"That was…"

"Intense…" Addison looked up at him in fascination, her arm thrown upon the pillow, head resting on it.

"Amazing…"

"Wild…" She went on, "and crazy…" She threw her husband an uncertain frown, "are we perves? I mean- it is good. It's amazing sex, but you do this tongue thing and then I do this bending thing and…Do most people really? Because I feel like we're sex freaks. We could come all day if we wanted to, we could be that couple, Derek. We could quit our jobs and hire a TV-team to come film us coming all day. I bet that would make a real blockbuster."

He chuckled, slapping his chest. "That's what you want?"

"No, but…I feel like we're too privileged. When's the good times gonna stop? We should capture it, or whatever. What if we're all equipped with just a certain orgasm ration? How cruel would that be. If we just blew our limits and we wake up tomorrow and need to adjust to an orgasm free life."

"You're such a contemplater" He mocked while catching her breast in his hand, kneading it. "Let the good times roll, I say"

"You seriously think we're gonna have such amazing sex for the rest of our lives?"

"Yeah"

"Doubt it" She groused, "When our residency progresses, what then? When we start our specialty we probably won't even know what sex is anymore. And if we ever get kids…"

An optimistic beam lighted in Derek's eyes and he moved closer to her, so close that their bodies were compressed against one another.

"I love when you bring up the baby matter. Let's talk about _that_"

"You know how I feel about the baby matter" She pressed a shy kiss on his cheek. "I love kids. And I want them. But we need to time it right and now is not a good time"

"I hear ya. But crazier things have happened. People get pregnant during residency all the time"

"I know that. But we should wait. At least till residency hell and Bailow are past and history."

"So" Derek counted on it, "at least five years."

"Mhm"

"At then we're 32"

"And that's the perfect age to start having kids" Her lips worked alongside her husband's neckline lovingly, "don't you think, honey?"

"It's fine. But I would've made a baby with you, here and now, if you'd want to. Spending last summer with Nancy and the boys made me realize more than ever than family matters the most. Surgery is great and I can't see myself doing anything else, but in the long run, family is what's important. Having a child with you is the best thing that can possibly ever happen."

"And our child will be so privileged to have you as a father" She eyed him, passion in her eyes, "God, Derek, I love you. And I promise you, little Shepherd will come to us, sooner or later."

"Or little Shepherdette" Derek chuckled, "I know our first's gonna be a girl. I just know. I have this strong feeling"

"Shepherdette" Addison echoed, awing and ooh'ing over the adorable nickname. "That's so cute. But you know, gotta tell ya, first one out's a boy. I'm future baby's mama. My sense trumps yours. Since I was eight I pictured two kids. One of each. And the boy would be the oldest one. Wouldn't that be amazing? Imagine our big boy protecting our little princess. That's what I had, a big brother who always looked out for me. It's a great feeling"

"Our princess wouldn't need a big brother. Her daddy would protect her. And I'm gonna be that crazy, strict dad who's letting no one get around to her. A big brother in addition to all that would be insane really."

"You're sort of a handful, yeah" She held onto Derek's hand as she swung herself around and settled on top of him, playing saucy tongue games the way up and down his chest.

"But people would have to learn how to live with that. Because big baby's gonna be a boy…You gotta trust mama…" She smiled, a little too self-confident.

Derek lowered his voice to a hoarse, sensual level and pulled her down on him. "But mama, you're wrong…princess first…papa knows…"

"Beg to differ…baby boy…"

As he kept on debating, he planted a velvety kiss on her lips, "baby girl…"

"Baby boy…"

"Baby girl…"

"You're not gonna give it up, are you?" She snickered, "either way, I can promise you this; one of us is right."

"Absolutely"

"He or she's gonna be so beautiful. I bet baby's gonna have your eyes. And hair, obviously"

"And your adorable nose" He pinched her facial feature playfully, "and that smile. Oh god" He ran a hand through his hair, gobsmacked as she bared her set of teeth when giving him one of her characteristic smiles in return, genuinity and bliss showing off through it. "that smile…is legendary"

"I like Henry" She said, changing topic ever so slightly, "as a name I mean. For our baby"

"It's a good name" He agreed, "classic"

"And Carson. For a boy. But it works for a girl as well"

"No, no. That's not a real name. And certainly not for our princess. She needs a solid name"

"Autumn?"

"She's not a season for God's sake."

"Sydney?"

"Not a town"

"Jessica?"

"She's not random either. Come on Adds, you better come up with something else"

"Yeah, cause I hear yours are just screaming world leader rockstar" She snickered, "you like Lauren? That's a name. And it has a nice meaning to it. And when I think about it, it was my great grandmother's middle name. She's was one of the first female doctors on the east coast you know. And besides that, she managed this orphanage. She loved kids. She spent so many nights there, comforting them. Receiving nothing but hugs and appreciation in return. So I say that's a pretty solid name"

He looked up at her in awe. His glorious wife was sitting topless upon him, like a redheaded goddess. Wanting him and only him. Planning a future with him. Wanting his kids and only his. Although that part belonged a step further in time, he felt like they'd just constructed a tiny bit of it today.

He ran his hands down her sides and gave her a look of unfeigned love.

"That's my kind of baby princess name"

* * *

"…_Wondering if you_…Excuse me? Ma'm?" A virile, distant voice, coming clearer to her ear, put her out of her reverie. She rotated on her heels to catch the addresser, then sweeping a lazy eye throughout the abandoned hallway to realize he had got to be talking to _her_, and no one other than. She watched him with a speculative eye, whereupon he sent her an apologetic smile in return.

"My apologies Doctor" Her high-and-mighty white coat was impossible not catching note off and the stranger had his eye resting firmly on her right breast…No chest, her right chest. The right side of her lab coat pocket's chest, where her extensive name and title were finely lined with embroidered letters.

"…Because I take it as you're one" She'd seen this man less than a minute, yet her exterior appearance had already given her whole ID away, "didn't want to break into anything. I was just wondering…this is the neonatal unit, am I right?"

"Er, yes…" She gulped, taking him into closer eyesight and all of a sudden, she froze a little on her spot. Not because she'd seen him ever before, not because he was some sort of long-lost friend of Addison's. It was just…he was a complete stranger to her, yet already she found him… fascinating in some sort of way. There wasn't any reason for him to be, she didn't know him and first impression-wise he wasn't _that_ strikingly beautiful. He was average in size and height, carrying a bleached grey cord jacket over a plain black tee. Partially muscular he was, having a fit and toned arm-shoulder-chest area, but with straight, lean legs on the lower part. The hair was perfectly ordinarily cut short with a chocolate color. He did have some pretty decent blue eyes though…Addison caught herself measuring him up. To who? Derek? She had no business! There wasn't anything wrong with the man in front of her, Addison's mind on the other hand…She was twisted and cruel. Was it the divorce making her this way? She doubted it. She didn't love a man who couldn't love her. Derek was not the man in her life anymore and she could move on. She was officially a single, divorced mother of one, working fulltime at one of the country's highest ranked hospitals. There wasn't anything wrong with it, she knew that. She was wealthy, independent, mindblowingly smart, equipped in all sorts of ways…She didn't have a problem with it, although, at the moment, it was only a little bit hard to realize the fact.

"Okay then" He eyed her doubtiously before heading off, "well, thanks. Enjoy"

Conscience hit her. That was a bit rejective of her. She wasn't a rejector, nor was she ought to be one.

"Wait!" She sprang up beside him, laughing uneasily. "I'm sorry, I was just caught up with…stuff. Are you a visitor? I'm the department head, I could show you-"

"I guess I am" He smiled up at her, genuinely, and with that, showing off an asset of perfect white teeth. "I'm visiting a patient of mine. Ruby Howard?" He hitched one eyebrow expectantly, reckoning the name would fall familiar to Addison, as it was more than likely that she would have it on her very own patient list.

"Oh, Ruby, yes" She breathed, "she's here. I delivered her baby this morning. We had to go through with a caesarean as she went into premature labor for the second time" She paused in her tracks, "you're her doctor?"

"Noah Barnes" He held out a hand, "I'm an obstetrician at the Capitol Hill. I've seen her throughout both pregnancies. As you probably know her oldest died at three."

"Leukemia" She added, sorrowful. "I know. And it pains me-"

"She's been through hell" He cut her off, "I don't know how she survived. How do you do that? Cope with it all? Alone"

"Yeah…" Addison said melancholically, "She's…" She was searching for words, "…strong"

"Did everything work out alright? No complications?"

"No complications" She gave him a modest smile, "baby's born, a girl, weighing in at a perfectly healthy 8 lbs and 2 oz."

"You have no idea how that relieves me" He breathed, "And Mom? She's…?"

"Still a little knocked out as the drugs hasn't completely let go of her yet. And she's bedbound and sore as you know must be expected after a procedure like this." He gave her a fellow nod," Other than that she's all lulled in joy and all over the moon about her baby."

"That's great" His smile erupted instantly, "Any name yet?"

"No name" She said, her gaze falling upon the grand bouquet of red roses he was holding onto and she couldn't help frowning a little, "as far as I know."

"Those" She nodded at the flowers, "for her?"

"Yeah. To be honest it's like she's more than a patient to me. We've had so many conversations. I feel like I know her. Like she's a friend of mine" He shook the bouquet gently, "it's the least I can do"

"That's…so good. Amazing, really" She said, astonished. His gesture made a move in Addison. There was no need to acknowledge her greatness in her field any more, she always had been and always would be. But she wouldn't often come this close to a patient the way Noah had with Ruby. Yeah, she was compassionate and understanding but how many times did she ever place herself on the patient's bedside to offer them a warm stroke of hand?

"Thanks" He gave her a modest smile. "It was really nice to meet you. Do you come here like, often?"

"I work here" She grinned as she echoed herself, "so yeah, I would say fairly often"

"Oh god" He facepalmed himself, "sure you do. How could I neglect that? You just told me. And you're in a labcoat. And it's got your name on it. On your breast. Chest. Your chest, not your breast" He was turning a little red by now and started pointing at her upper torso area, flushed, "on there. Right there. Sewn into your labcoat"

"Okay. I get it" Addison grinned, a tad overwhelmed. "You can stop right there. You talk a lot. And now you're trying to get out of this awkward situation. So I'm going to dismiss myself, right here, right now. I'm blaming work. And even if I were to lie you wouldn't be able to catch that because this is a busy hospital and I'm the head around here, so…always noisy. Lot to do"

He winked, seeing her leave. Addison raised her hand in a wink while battling against her two persistent red-flushing cheeks.

Noah smiled, eyeing the redhead's impeccable physique treading the hallways.

"See ya, Doc."


	18. Chapter Eighteen: We Make Change

**That was pretty fast wasn't it? :) Thank you for reviewing, I'm so happy you're still with me!**

**This is mostly a flashback chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you like the bit of Addek bliss here :) Figured I would include more flashbacks from now on. **

**Please review ! :) **

* * *

_MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL, 2002_

"_Sex…hot sex…hahaha…VERY FUNNY…"_

Louise, a late twenty-something old nurse, was headed towards the locker room at the end of the halls of the Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Science department. She'd just completed another 12 hour shift and went instantly enthusiastic thinking about her boyfriend who would be ready to greet her at home with shitty take outs and run-of-the-mill white wine.

"_Penises…big penises…timing everything badly_"

She eased her ice blond hair from her clasp and was about to reach down on the handle, when she heard suspicious murmuring coming from next door, the storage room. The hall was deserted, the graveyard shift just kicking in, patients sleeping and nurses and interns trying to fetch some sleep themselves in the on-call rooms.

She frowned as she hovered a little outside, the door slightly ajar.

"_I will not surrender to big penises…stupid penises!" _The unknown, yet slightly familiar west coasted accent uttered a short hiss. "_where ARE they!"_

She opened the door fully to see the hospitals redheaded surgeon fellow standing next to the shelves, back facing Louise, as she rummaged the container, desperately dissecting the contents in it.

"Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd" The blonde nurse stated surely, "are you…looking for something? Is there anything I can…do for you?"

The redhead jumped around in surprise to see her top two favorite scrub nurse, feeling slightly caught red-handed. "Louise, hey. Didn't know you were on-call…"

"Can I help you with something?" Blonde insisted.

Knowing for sure that her nurse wouldn't just back off that easy, she was the epitome of suspicious after all, made Addison run a stressed hand through her hair. "Er…."

"Yeah?" She sent off a polite, servant look her way, silently awaiting a response.

"Do you know" She bit her lip hard, fighting her words a little, much to her surprise. "where…the…ehm...pregnancy tests are? Last time I checked they were her."

"Sure" Louise jumped at her service easily, silently making Addison wish she didn't make the uttering process all that difficult. Her strange attitude would probably feed the suspicious troll, correction, nurse, even more. She ducked behind a near shelf, rearranging something, coming up a second later, a packed tested in hand. "How many do you need?"

"Just give me that one…" She stressed, tearing the package from her hand, instantly slipping it into her lab coat pocket. "or maybe…one more. No, give me two"

"Sure" She handed over two more without further questions, her voice free of doubt. Apparently. Or…?

"For your patients?" She gave her an innocent smile.

"Yeah" Addison was sure her lie was beyond obvious.

"Why don't you run blood tests instead?" She wasn't going to let it go, was she? Addison felt her irritation level rise the slightest.

"Because the lab's not at all efficient at night and this is like, not a crisis. And I don't run blood tests, my interns do. And I don't see any intern around here" She was good, wasn't she? Talking herself out of it? Addison gave herself an imaginative tap on the shoulder.

"I'll do it for you. What's their name?"

"Lou" She let love and worry play too much of a part when responding to the annoyingly helpful woman. "You've been on call for so long. I really appreciate your offer but trust me. I can take it from here. Go home to your man and kids-"

"I don't have any kids"

"Or the dog"

"No dog" She cut her off abruptly.

"My point is- go home. Sleep. Relax. You deserve it. I couldn't let myself force you to stay overtime for this. I'll take it from here"

"You sure?"

Addison put a short, unsteady laugh to life. "I guess"

* * *

_MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL, 2002 _

"You paged" Naomi entered the limited on-call room expressively to find Addison on the edge of the bed, her hands entwined behind her back. "you better make this quick, I'm cooperating with Drury on an ER case and he's already pissed with me. On top of that, he's being all ortho rocks at me, like he's trying to get me into that. I'm a senior resident for god's sake, it's a little late to start the whole recruiting thing now" She was on a rambling roll and would not let Addison add in just yet.

"…And by the way, why is he always so grumpy? Does he ever get laid? Does he have a girlfriend, or what? He's like a closed book and he just sets me off so much. If he ever cared to smile he would actually be an attractive guy. He is pretty good looking obviously, with the whole hair thing going on. And the eyes…If he ever grow at least one sympathetic bone he would be like an Irish version of Derek."

"About that" Addison cleared her throat, breaking in, "that's what I wanted to talk about. Derek. Derek and I. The two of us. And what we've done…"

"No" Naomi was firm, sensing a sexual theme coming up, "I don't wanna know what the two of are doin-"

Reaching for her crumpled little brown Bloomingdale bag she was finally able to daze her best friend as she pulled out three equal white and blue sticks. Three pregnancy tests, the results of them all agreeing with each other. _Pregnant._

"Nae" She breated hectically, "chances are I'm pregnant. And I feel everything. I wanna scream and shout and yay and everything but they might not be a 100 percent accurate and a blood test will be and I want to know for sure so I can start cheering and swearing and telling Derek and…" It was Addison's turn to ramble now, "I want you to take my blood and check those HCG levels and I want you to tell them to hurry and do it as discreet as possible, we could use Adrianne Forbes so no one will know and-"

"Addison" Naomi breathed, seconds later a large grin coming upon her face as she spotted the confirming message on the medical sticks. "Addison!"

"Yes?"

"You're pregnant!" Joining Addison at the bedside, she caught her in a tight embrace, almost squeezing her thin frame a little. She ran an envious hand through her red strands of hair and looked at her chocked face. "You don't need a blood test. These things don't lie and there's three of them. When did you last bleed out?" She mocked improperly.

"Two months ago…"

"So you're around 8 weeks" She calculated qualifiedly, her proud smile not ceasing. "Addie! You're having a baby!"

"I guess I'm having a baby" Her voice was shaking just as an extremely content smile played on her lips. Minutes later though, she let realities' downside punch her hard. "but why now? I'm an OB-GYN fellow. And we just gave up the apartment. We haven't found a house yet, we're basically homeless. Homeless people do not go ahead and make a baby. Oh, and what about the . program I've signed up to? Where do we find the extra time? Why did his stupid penis have to go and knock me up just now? Couldn't it have waited let's say, a year or something?"

"Quit the rambling" Naomi scolded humorously, "Do you even remember us having this conversation a few years ago? I'd just found out about Maya and you were so happy for me, yet so certain you would wait at least a few years before having a kid yourself. Now is a few years later. Maybe timing isn't perfect to you Addison but it'll never be. You wait till you're 45 and it won't be any better" She pinched her chin lovingly, "your job'll still be there. And you can put off the genetics thing for a couple years. That's not mandatory, you know. And what the hell are you whining about? You have all the money in the world, finding a house is the last thing to worry for. Oh my god Addie, I'm going to be an auntie!"

"I hear you, I do" Addison rubbed her face, "but it's overwhelming. And I have to tell Derek. And then, it's even more serious and it gets all blissful and bright. When I tell Derek, there's no way back"

* * *

_MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL, 2002_

Naomi literally flew through the hallways, passing neurology on her way back down to the ER and stupid Doctor Drury mercilessly waiting for her. But today, he could be all the cranked up and annoyed he wanted, she wouldn't care. Cause today was a beautiful day, her best friend just spilled the biggest, most amazing secret and Nae was the first one to get to know. Her pager went off again and she sped up a little. It wasn't acute but she wouldn't give the cranky doctor just another reason to hate her more. As she passed the nurse's station and the OR whiteboard she saw Derek rounding a corner, his intern in tow.

"Derek!" She beamed from a short distance, "Good times! you're up for dinner at our place tonight? We have food and babysitter-" She took a pause, gushing at his happy expression. "What? Why are you smiling like that?"

"Why are _you_ smiling like that? Your mood is infectious, that's my excuse"

"Oh" She cut herself off, "So…she didn't tell you."

"Who's telling me what?"

"You know, you have this cheery thing going on and I thought she'd told you because that's pretty logic after all, I mean who doesn't tell their husband first and then their best friend?"

"What are you talking about?" He frowned a little, amused with her ramble.

"Addison didn't-"

"Addison didn't what?"

Naomi slapped a hand upon her mouth, realizing she'd spilled a little too much by now. And to add to it all, Addison was now walking the hallways, nearing them with a small smile.

"Nevermind" She said in a hurry, a little too eager to get to the pit. _Sorry, sorry!_ She mouthed at Addison who was starting to take notice.

"Naomi!"

"Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry" She pleaded awkwardly as she walked off, backwards so she crashed into a med cart thoughtlessly.

"What was that?" He turned to Addison curiously once she was off.

"Er, I…damn it! What did she tell you really?"

"Nothing. She told me you didn't tell me something, which you obviously didn't because now I'm extremely curious"

"Come here" She dragged him along and up the staircase to the OR gallery, exceptionally empty.

"Are we watching surgery?" He wondered, leaving that theory once they were up. All seats were free and the lights in the OR below them off. "Or not"

"Sit down" She instructed gently and fell down on a seat next to him. She bent forward, pressing her palms against her hips as she took nervous breaths, in and out. At last, a small, anxious smile appeared on her face. "You want to be seated when I tell you this. Because this is not a trifle. It is in fact the real deal. Literally, the _real_ deal. And I am all over the moon 'bout it but then I come to think about you and your ways. You're one to blame here. Because you did this and not only did you do it, you did it at a pretty inconvenient time. So I'm kind of mad. At you. For sealing the deal a little early." She grabbed his hand and he watched her, completely dumbfounded with her opposing acts. One second she was blaming him for something he was seemingly completely left in the dark about, the next she was holding his hand and stroking it lovingly.

"Add-"

"No, no. You don't get to talk already. You're the committer in this. Okay, well, so am I. Partly" She rambled," But that's not the point. The challenge is; you do this thing…And I like it when you do this thing. So you do it twice. And twice leads to three times. And then it keeps going on. Because it's so good we can't stop. And then we forget about the precaution thing. Because that's the danger to it. And when we let it slip our minds, it comes with some pretty major consequences…And that's my point. We're faced with the consequences. And you're gonna like that because you want this and so do I but it's a huge thing so I need you on this one." She was looking through her lab coat pocket for something. Derek brought a hand to his mouth, balled over, almost certain what to come next.

"Is…? You…This is…" His eyes trailed her stomach, "are you…?"

"I wasn't gonna tell you until next week, on our anniversary. But then Naomi happened and instead of some magic reveal at this romantic place I'm telling you here, in the OR gallery…"

"Derek…I am, in all probability…" She showed her three concurring tests at him, "pregnant…"

He accepted the tests and had a moment looking at them, then at her, then back at them. All the time his mouth wide open.

"You're-"

"Yes"

"You're pregnant"

"Yes"

"You're pregnant" He repeated the words. It felt amazing uttering those two words out loud. Almost too good to be true. Addison had just revealed she was pregnant.

"I know-"

"You're pregnant!" This time, he let every emotion free. He'd been waiting for this moment for such a long time. He'd gone through years watching his sisters, his friends, colleagues revealing their pregnancies, nodding and aw'ing over ultrasound pictures along with them. Trailing the stores with Addison to find the perfect gift for the newborn miracle, all the time teasing her and promising her they'd be the next couple out.

"Baby, you're pregnant!" He laughed triumphantly and blissfully.

"I know!" She joined him in ecstasy, although the characteristic, little nervous laugh she got once she was just a little tensed up was clearly there.

Derek dragged her close, pressing her close, one hand on her back as the other one cupped the back on her head, touching her red velvet hair. They sat like that for minutes till he pulled apart, just the slightest, kissing her forehead, then her lips, and her forehead once more.

"We're having a baby" He concluded euphorically.

"Yeah" She tittered, "we're having a baby"

He let his gaze fall from her glorious face to her stomach once again, enquiring. "How far…?"

"About eight weeks" She pressed her lips against one another, "maybe we shouldn't let joy get the best of us yet. It's still so early…"

"Four weeks to go" He cut in, already fully committed, "and you'll be in your second trimester"

"A lot of things can happen before I hit 12 weeks"

"It won't" His hand found her clothed stomach and his hand felt it up softly. "it's our baby in there"

"You know the risks" She reminded, "I'm not gonna be a wet blanket here, but we should await things a bit."

"We don't have to tell people yet" His palm was still resting upon her flat abdomen. "But everything's gonna be okay. Don't kill your emotions just because. There's a slight risk to anything"

"By Christmas we'll have a baby in the house" Nothing could take away all the hopeful in her. She scooped herself even closer and closed her arms around his neck.

"A tiny baby" He dreamed, "our baby"

"Speaking of which" She was reminding herself, and she held a decisive finger against him, "we need a house! Like stat. I can't stand the thought of the hotel"

"I'll buy us a house"

"I want a brownstone"

"So I'll buy us a brownstone. With six or seven children's room"

"You're frightening me"

"I'm not" His cocky grin was back, "I just made a baby with you"

"We made a baby" Addison joined in longingly, wanting to repeat the words till forever, "why do I love saying this? It's the best line ever. Trumps every awesome medical term. Salpingo Oophoritis, even."

"We should keep saying it" He pulled her close so he could place a certain amount of grateful kisses on her face, "we made a baby."

"We made a baby…"

"You and I…" They were interrupting each other by placing lippy smacks on one another, now.

"Made the most…"

"Amazing…"

"Baby…"

"In history…"

* * *

"Guess who" An imitative voice appeared to Charlottes ears once a pair of hands were put upon her eyes. Although the utterer hid her known accent pretty well, the familiarity of it woke the little girl's recognition instantly.

"Silly mommy" Charlotte giggled, prying her hands away, not surprised when it turned out to be just Addison. Even so, she wasn't disappointed to see her busy surgeon mother at this time of day and jumped happily into her embrace.

"Silly mommy?" She replied dramatically whilst taking a minute to sit down at her table.

"Little bit silly" She admitted with a smile, scrunching her freckled nose playfully before reaching for another pencil.

"Yeah, okay. I can live with that" She replied, eyeing her scattered writing project curiously. "So what are you guys up to today?"

"We write a story"

"A story? Really? Who's it about?"

"Someone" She said secretively, a Mona Lisa smirk appearing to her face.

"And what is this someone up to?"

"Something…" Charlotte was decisive not to spill too much.

"Aah. This someone is definitely up to at least something" She concluded, bit of a self-seeker, "is it about me?"

"Mommy, you ask too many questions" Her little preschooler gathered her papers and sketchbook into her arms demonstratively and with a large smile, artistically protective of her art in progress.

"I do, don't I?" Addison agreed, suddenly being reminded on what caused her early visit. The clock had barely hit noon and for once in her life, Addison had all her paperwork already nailed, surgeries performed and a complete OB-GYN squad available and ready for duty if emergency arose throughout the day. Voluntarily unemployed for a day, she decided on making it all quality time with Char and had her head planned full.

", but, I came to ask you at least this question. Cause mommy has no surgeries left today and I could feel for a drink at that yellow smoothie place. And I know how much you've wanted to see the seals so if it's okay with you, my deeply beloved daughter, I'd like to take you to the aquarium today"

Charlotte's eyes lit up, "REALLY?"

"Really" She raised her hand to Jennie who was standing couple meters away, making herself recognized. Jennie nodded acceptingly, knowing for a day back that Addison would grab her daughter earlier this day. She went to grab her coat as Charlotte put her stuff altogether and found her backpack. She bent down a little to ease her arms into the white woolen sleeves and zipped her up. Parted a strand of crazy hazelnut curl from her face with a smile.

"So, shall we?"

For the first time in a while, Addison felt utterly and genuinely high on life. And the one and only reason being the chit-chatty young girl at her side. Saying something priceless, it made Addison burst shamelessly into clamorous laugh, her happy-feelyness racing like crazy through her blood. She didn't care that they were walking the populated street, or that she made a fool of herself in public. If some people thought that way, she didn't care. She most certainly wouldn't meet with them again. She looked at Charlotte. She was so…living the moment. Uncomplicated and innocent. Frisky and curious. She was _her _daughter. And right now, she was not rock star surgeon Addison, nor Addison in the fancy shoes or head of department Addison. She was just any woman spending her time with her precious one. Charlotte held onto Addison's hand in a loose grip, occasionally letting go to point and talk about things and places, discovering, a close to empty popcorn tub swaying in her other hand. They'd gone on a spontaneous trip to the movies after their aquarium visit, where they'd come to pat the seals, and Charlotte would not be silenced when proudly bringing up the topic.

"In here!" Abruptly, she stopped and dragged towards the opposite direction, a cake and coffee shop catching her fancy.

"No" She groaned sickly, the overwhelming amount of consumed candy paining her stomach. "Come on, I'd given in to you way too many times already"

"Don't you want a coffee mommy?" She was trying, convincing. She was sly that way.

"There's coffee at our hotel. Don't you worry 'bout that"

"Please? It looks so cosy!"

A minute later she found herself standing in line. If Charlotte had her wrapped around her little finger like that, she wouldn't think about Derek's reaction to her pleading mini-versions of his eyes.

"I want that one" Decisively, she pointed at a pancake dish behind the glassed counter.

"You are definitely not getting pancakes. I said something to drink"

"But mommy-"

"No"

"Doctor Shepherd?" A slightly, but not fully familiar voice appeared behind her and she turned on her heel a little. The man she was faced with was no other than the man from yesterday, Noah. He was less casual today. His hair was combed backwards, his cheeks and chin shaved, and he had a black suit on. And not the cheapest one, she guessed. He had a leather document case underneath his arm and held onto his grab and go coffee with the other one.

"Doctor Barnes" She recalled with a smile, "Hi"

"It's Noah"

"In that case" She held out a hand, "Addison. I think I forgot about the introduction part yesterday"

"No problem. And I know. Didn't think I would recognize you without the lab coat though"

"You've done way too much talking about my lab coat already" She replied frisky, "but trust me, you would."

"And I just did" He blinked, "I went by Ruby today. That is one gorgeous baby she's got there"

"Yeah. And she's so proud. Seems like an amazing mother" She eyed him another time, a little more obvious now. "You look pretty dressed up for a postpartum visit"

"I did a little bit of this for her" He laughed, "but mostly to impress Chief Webber"

She instantly caught notice, "Richard?"

"Yeah. Had my interview with him today" He excused his polished looks, "I don't normally look like this"

"The free spot, right…But I didn't know you were a surgeon"

"I am. But I've managed my private clinic for five years, not a whole lot of time left. But now, I figured I wanted to do both. Call it an early midlife crisis or whatever. I'm not quitting my practice, figured I could do both. Didn't apply for a full time position."

"Well, that's great. And by the way, if you get the job, I'm gonna be your immediate chief" She warned mockingly, "I'm the neonatal department head, as well as functioning chief at the OB-GYN floor"

"Wow" He said, astonished, "well, it certainly don't surprise me. You looked pretty much like an authority around there"

"Come" Charlotte pulled her hand impatiently, dragging her towards the counter where a smily young girl in an apron was waiting their order. She asked for her regular cappuccino and Charlotte's favorite juice, digging her wallet to catch a 20.

"And that one" Charlotte tapped the cake display optimistically, "pancake!"

"Remember telling you no?" She stood her ground, handing her money over, "just the two…"

"Pretty mommy…please, please, please?"

"Your daughter?" Noah cut in all of a sudden.

"Yes"

"Why would you keep her from the pancake? Pancakes are, the way I see it, a basic human right" He joked, bending down to her level. "Hi. My name is Noah. And you are…?"

"Hi!" She responded instantly, forwardly and not a tad shy "Char"

"-lotte" Addison fulfilled, not overly enthusiastic about the nicknaming part.

"Very nice to meet you Char…lotte. Would you let me buy you a pancake? You see, I love buying sweet desserts to sweets girls. Were it up to me I could do that all day"

"Really?" A disbelieved look washed her face, followed by a generous smile "yes please!"

"Noah, you really don't have to-"

"It's really not a problem, I want to" He watched her proudly place her order, "she's a beautiful girl. Looks a lot like you"

"You think so?"

"You don't?"

"You're one of the first people to say that. I guess most people see a striking semblance to her father"

"Well, I can definitely see you in her"

"Look!" Charlotte exclaimed in ecstasy as the barista handed over her pancake plate. "Thank you Noah!"

"You're welcome" He patted her shoulder, grinning, "That looks delicious. You made a great choice there"

Addison on the other hand uttered a disapproving groan and grimaced at the hideous amount of syrup poured on top, "That's tooth decay on a plate. And if my daughter goes into a diabetic coma, I know who to blame"

"Yes. And you should. But it won't happen. Because sugar is fun. Sugar is good. Sugar is what got me through my internship."

"Okay, I can relate to that. Sugar and coffee."

"Sugar and coffee is what made us rockin' surgeons"

"Oh, are you really?" She chuckled, "or is that just empty talking going on?"

"Maybe you get to see for yourself" He grabbed his phone from his jacket pocket the second it started ringing, "Webber has a say there I'm afraid. You know, I gotta go" He waved at Charlotte who adieued him with a grateful smile, then eyeing Addison excitedly.

"So…I'm just gonna repeat myself now…See you around, or something"


	19. 19: Some Memories (Hurt Me All The Time)

**Hey. So I'm back. Again. Soon, right? :) **

**This chapter is a shortie and may be a little bit rushed. Addek is probably a little out of character in this, but they're in the dark place in this. So maybe that's the reason. **

**From next chapter and on this story will progress much more than before. I guess I've left you hanging for way too long already. So I hope you would want to hang on for a tiny bit longer ;)**

** Like I promised, nothing beats Addek in the end.**

**Always appreciative of your reviews!**

**Happy thursday! :D**

* * *

_MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL, 2002_

"Derek, Addison!" The lively gynecologist greeted them, shaking hands with the familiar couple and giving the expectant doctor a congratulating rub on the shoulder.

It didn't take her long to get the attractive couple familiar with the prep instructions mandatory to all patients of hers as Addison basically lived off telling hers the exact same thing.

"Thank you for squeezing us in at such a short notice" Derek explained ,"for the past weeks we've kind of been caught up in this newfound bliss, just the two of us. " He rubbed Addison's stomach a little, "and of course, our little belly tenant here. Who's the one and only reason we're here obviously"

"My pleasure" Doctor Henderson smile as she positioned herself before the ultrasound screen, "one of the very few perks one's gotta have working at the hospital, right?"

Addison and Derek both agreed with a nod.

"You know what" Henderson addressed her again, suggesting her to roll her top up as she reached for the bottle of aquasonic gel, shaking it a little. "Nurse gave me your file, I've been looking it through and everything looks about fine. Only thing I would like to check out a little more frequently is your blood pressure. It's a little too low for my liking. But for now, let's get straight to the fun part"

She turned the screen around so the excited parents-to-be could go ahead and study the images themselves. They were doctors after all and it was a standard doctor thing to take great pride in figuring out their little baby's features and in some unfortunate cases, flaws, on their own.

The cold gel landed upon her stomach and the sweet gynecologist reached for the probe. "you ready to take a baby peek?"

"We are" Derek took Addison's hand in his, sitting next to her at the exam table. "aren't we, hon?"

"We're going to see our baby for the very first time" She stated, her eye running wet, sentimentality coming for her.

"Our little girl" Derek kissed her hand, not letting go of it, "we get to see our little girl"

"Enough with the cocky sureness already" She whined, "it doesn't suit you. And you do not know that."

"I don't think a single nurse in this hospital would agree to your accusations, Addison" Doctor Henderson cut in, teasingly, "they would say cocky sureness is what makes Derek Derek"

"They don't have to live with him _and_ work with him" She reminded, "but it's charming. To a certain point. I would declare myself relieved if this…" She accented, mocking him, "**boy…**turn out to be just lacking these genes though"

"It's a girl" The unconcerned neuro fellow placed a kiss to his wife's temple, "just you wait and see"

"Maybe we shouldn't? See at all, I mean. We would have to wait a few weeks anyways. Why don't make it a big surprise when baby's really here?"

"Actually…" Henderson had to blink twice, realizing she what actually seeing what she was seeing. Not a sensation really, she'd seen many during her 11 years in practice but still…It was still considered a rare thing. "There's a chance you may both be right…"

They were still oblivious to what she'd just discovered. One of them was obviously into playing peek-a-boo behind the other and was harder to spot so it wasn't strange, really. Not even for doctors.

"What?" Addison spoke up, "oh, please don't tell us we're having the freak baby. Even though we're screwed up people we don't need a freak baby."

"Would you calm down" She laughed at them, "there's no freak baby in here. In here is definitely…" She turned the screen even closer and froze the image, zooming in the best she could. Addison parted her lips and Derek's chin would drop to the floor if he gaped a little more.

"twins…"

* * *

"George kissed me" Callie Torres made no pardons grabbing the seat next to Addison in the cafeteria, "yesterday. One minute he's holding a urine bag, the next minute he's kissing me. You think he's freaking out about his dad?" She moved the stirrer in her coffee cup as she went on counseling herself, oblivious to Addison's obliviousness.

"Yeah, you're right, he's probably just freaking out, I shouldn't hold him to it"

"What?" It came from her, all of a sudden, her voice puzzled, signalizing she'd been paying absolutely no attention to Callie's issue at all.

"Did you just not hear a word I said? I'm pouring my heart out here. Jeez, it's all about you isn't it? It's all about, everything's about Addison."

"I lost a baby" She said matter-of-factly, although depression was showing through her voice.

"It is all about you. Floor's all yours"

She removed her glasses, ready to send Callie a straight look. "Six years ago I…went for the scan. And it was stated that we were having twins. We wasn't gonna tell anyone at that time but we did. Tell them. And…" Her voice was labored now, "we went back, couple of weeks later. And…one baby was dead. We never got to know why. It just…died. Nature's way, right? I always thought it would be so much harder. It's going okay. It was so early and-" She paused, "just not today. I should probably mention that today's the day I found out my baby had died."

"You lost a baby" She added in empathically.

"I lost a baby" She echoed, sorrowful, "And I'm not okay today"

"Derek, is he-" Her hand was on Addison's shoulder now, her face aching with her.

"Derek doesn't talk about it. For the past five years he hasn't brought it up once.

* * *

"Do not page me unless it's urgent" Addison signed herself into a case of Derek's where she would assist with her neonatal expertise. She shut the charts close and handed them over. "I have a few consults to take up quite some time."

"Sure" He said easily, stealing the pen from her to tag his signature down as well. "I have Robinson with me as well, considering the pediatric matter in this case" Derek sent her a look, her jaded acts not passing without notice for his part.

"Hey, are you okay?" He lent against the nurse's station desk, offering her his all and undivided attention.

She was all of a sudden fixed on her patient's lab results that were being given her by the nurse and she breathed a sigh of relief inside her. She didn't want to go into this now. At the same time she felt anger rise inside her. Was he seriously incognizant about the day or was he just a damn good and careless actor?

"Why?" She responded, not bothering to lie to him, not caring to tell him the truth.

"You seem…off. And a little depressed really"

An appalling look from her was all it took to put him on guard. She eyed him like he'd just said the most outraging things.

"What?"

Still amazed by this fascinating stupidity act, she couldn't take her judgmental eyes off him. She swallowed hard. "I can't believe you"

"What's the matter?"

"Are you for real?"

"I don't-"

"The unconsciousness? I can't take it. Not now"

"What's going on?" He wondered, a little more demanding now.

Her pager went off. _Saved by the bell,_ she thought. Or not. The fact that a terminally sick infant was waiting her succor only put another strain on her, and not improving this day the slightest. She knew worry was written all over her face. Derek was still silently claiming a reason, not moving his gaze off her. She wasn't going to give him any.

"Not now. Not today" Were the last words before she took off.

And she was gone.

* * *

She felt like slipping so she did. She slid down on the floor outside scrub room 2. Pressing her legs against her chest. Clutching her knees. Loosening her scrub cap and throwing it to the floor. It'd been a bad day, she concluded with herself. A really bad day. Yesterday she was full of life, playing around with Charlotte. Today, people died on her. Tiny people. Babies. She hated this black and white take on life.

She'd just completed her third surgery where she'd cooperated with Derek, this one ending fatally as well. Two of three surgeries. Two of three deaths. In one day. To the invincible Addison Shepherd, that statistic yelled defeat.

The hallway was quiet so she didn't bother with the hiding-her-tears thing she was way too good at. Her face fell in her hands, her loose hair masking her mournful face as she went into soft sobs. She was crying for the dead babies. For her own dead baby. Who did not live to see the beauty of the day. Who did not live to meet the twin sister who never got to be a twin sister.

Addison didn't kill a single tear, knowing tomorrow would be easier if she ever made it through this night.

The scrub room door opened but she didn't peek out, knowing her face had turned into the worst mascara mess. Still she would know. She could feel his presence. He was signing a chart, killing a yawn, running a hopeless hand through his hair. She knew. She could somewhat hear it all.

She wasn't surprised when Derek joined her at the floor. She looked up, ran a brief hand across her eyes and kept on looking ahead. So did he. Until suddenly, a few moments later his voice penetrated the apparent silence.

"You thought I forgot"

"Yes"

He turned to her, suddenly and fiercely, "how could I ever?"

"You haven't said a word. Since that day. You haven't said a word."

He was churned up now but kept restraining his voice as two nosey nurses passed by. "You can't expect me to compare a twelve week old fetus with a five year old girl who's grown her mind and own personality. Who's a person"

"I never did!"

"You did" He looked away, "it's like you're constantly pausing to dwell on this, over and over. And blaming her"

"That is insane-"

"She was always the more developed one. The healthiest. And you keep thinking she's not enough. And I can't think about that. Your thoughts are ruining me"

"That is so wrong!" Addison cried, "you…are so wrong…"

Derek watched her through hers sobs and till it ceased a little. She bravely wiped her wet cheek. "that's not you talking now. You wouldn't say things like that. This isn't about me" She knew him, "it's about you"

Regret filled him, accepting she was right. "You know what happens? When you're tackling me with this. I start to imagine things. Horrible things…I keep picturing her. Dead…Cold…It haunts me in the night. Because I can't think of one without losing the other. And I can't risk losing her"

Now, his desperate tearful eyes were intently set on her. "Do you know how much I have that I don't deserve? I failed her, I left on her. And she's still holding onto me. And now, I can't go back in time and wish for more because I don't have the right to. I'm not worthy any of it. That's why I don't talk about it."

"Derek…" Addison whispered, in shock from his unspeakable secret. "You could have told me…"

"I couldn't. And I can't."

She grabbed his hand resolutely and she didn't let go of it. Her hand wiped away a few tears in the corner of his eyes and she locked his gaze on him. Every emotion was present in her eyes. Empathy. Grief. Resolution. Affection. And a little bit of anger.

"She is not going anywhere" Her voice was amazingly firm seeing that tears kept on pressing free from her eyes as well.

"She's gonna be here, with you and me. She survived and nothing is ever going to happen to her. And though I get your mind, it's delusional thinking. You need to let yourself off it. You have to stop beating yourself up. It's helping no one and Charlotte the least."

She inhaled quietly. "And I need you to be able to talk about it. I'm not asking you to say a whole lot but we went through this together, Derek. I can't talk to anyone else. You were the only one who battled this besides me."

"…I'm 38 now. And single. I might as well realize the fact that I'm most likely not able to give Charlotte another sibling. It's gonna be her and I. But it pains me to know we could have two. So I need this day, I need to be able to fall apart and I need you to acknowledge that."

Silence hit them once more, until Derek surprised her again.

"I'd let you go with Carson"

Addison sent him a surprised look.

"For a boy" He corrected, "only if it were a boy. I'd draw the line there. It's not a girl's name. So not a girls name…"

"You'd give me Carson?" Very much disbelieved, she gave him a hint of a smile.

"I know you love it. And I'd probably grow to like it"

She reached for his hand again, realizing she'd let go of it moments ago, but this time she didn't grab him hard but instead, clutched it softly. "Thank you."

He squeezed her hand appreciatively. "Thank _**you**_"


	20. Chapter Twenty: Con-Science

**Hey guys! I guess I'm on a roll. Should explain the frequent updates. **

**I wrote this all in one go. I normally don't write all in one go but I was on a train ride that took forever so I had many hours on my hands to do this. I had a really good time writing it. I hope you think it's a bit fun as well. It's not long though. **

**Happy weekend to my lovely readers : )**

* * *

"Yes Morgan, I read your e-mail…yes…Would you just calm down? Like I told you many times already, I promise to drop by the soccer store tomorrow. And I already cancelled his dentist appointment…"

The elevator doors opened to reveal a hectic looking Noah, juggling a stack of files, a lab coat, coffee cup, shoulder bag and his cellphone, a slightly snappy person apparently living on the other line.

"I have to go" He was more determined now as his eyes set on Addison the second she walked into. "Not tonight. It's my first day at Seattle Grace. You could wish me good luck or something" He sighed, "We would have to talk on a later occasion. I'm not gonna pick another fight with you now" He hung up.

"Jeez" Addison smiled, her eyebrows raised a little, "decent surgeons doesn't need good lucks"

"Sure they do" He differed, "at least I do. But I'm a softie by all means."

He raised his arm a little, motioning to the lab coat and the new ID member of staff card hanging on it, "So, I don't know what you told Webber but apparently, it works. Your wish is his command basically. That's what he told me."

"And he never ceases to iterate that" She laughed, "but actually, I didn't say anything. So the whole hiring thing is because of you and you alone"

"I think I did a smooth impression at least" He admitted, eyeing his impeccably dressed 1940's styled superior optimistically, "Can't wait to work with you…boss."

"So they did all say" Addison snickered, "I'll try to go easy on you just now. If you're not caught up with the board I'll get you updated on the protocols, present the major cases, maybe show you around a little and assign you with an intern for the week."

"The interns" He replied sarcastically, "love the interns."

Just then, his cell woke for the second time and Noah groaned tiredly, silently excusing himself to Addison. "Yes, Morgan?"

"I'm very well aware of that. You have to trust me when I say I've got it covered."

"Are we really going there again? Thank you for reminding me, by the way" The person on the other line said something that seemed to upset him the slightest. "Fine, bye"

"Ouch" Addison grimaced, "angry wife?"

"Angry ex-wife"

"You're divorced?" She worked out in a heartbeat.

"For four years" He breathed, "I screwed up, pretty much"

"We all do"

"No, you…You don't get it. I did a bad thing. Women like you stay clear of men like me. I cheated. On her with a nursing student at this get together at the practice. There was all this alcohol and…it's all very cruel and cliché…" Addison flashed a stunned look that made him pause dead in his sentence, "and now I bet you think I'm crazy for sharing all this so soon. I'm not crazy" He promised, "more like beyond talk-active"

"I don't think you are. Crazy, I mean. It's just. I'm not one of those women"

"What?"

"Who stay clear of men like you" She said carefully, "I'm in the club too."

"The club?"

"The club of cheating bastards and adulterous whores" She confessed, "I'm in that club, too"

"Oh." He was to be frank, a little surprised. And he didn't hide it very well. "If it makes you feel better, I wouldn't have guessed that."

"Because we're a bunch of wolves in sheepskin, right?" She joked, acknowledging the impeccable appearance they had in common. Judging by their looks they were angels committing no misdeed.

"I wouldn't go that far" He laughed, letting her lead out as the elevator doors opened, revealing a clamorous Bailey with two interns, Stevens and Karev.

"Doctor Bailey" Addison cut in, just in time keeping her from bashing out on Karev, "doctor Baileys interns. This is Doctor Noah Barnes, our new OB-GYN attending" She introduced, "he's gonna help us out and fill in for me whenever admins and high priority cases claim my full attention. Tonight he's gathering the third years for a lead-in in the skills lab but if you're off duty, feel free to come as well" She addressed the young doctors.

"Absolutely" The newcomer took turns shaking hands with the three, "I'm very much looking forward to work with you. Making you sweat a little. Letting you jump at a chance" He winked at Addison now, "making you do all the hard work only so I can impress my boss here"

* * *

The line was tediously lengthy when he entered his favorite coffee place so he picked up his phone as he patiently found his place at the end of it. Working till midnight last night he was happy he could flex today and start off a few hours later. It was already 10.30 and he hadn't got his shot of caffeine yet so he longed for it now. It would be a relatively quiet day today, he calculated while sending off a text to Meredith. One craniotomy was waiting around lunchtime and then a couple consults followed. If he was lucky he could exit the hospital with his daughter and girlfriend sometime during the late afternoon and still have a decent dinner at a decent time.

The line progressed and he was second suddenly. A woman before him picked up a paper bag with the coffee house's logo on it and went off. It was his turn and he placed his order, his regular.

"Triple espresso, please"

He paid and went off, headed towards his car. Unfortunately he didn't catch note on the skinny blonde rounding the corner in a rush. They collided brutally, Derek's coffee attacking her delicate shirt, painting it brown. She stumbled backwards, dropping the muffin she was munching on.

"Aah!" She yelped in despair, fully focused on regaining balance before eyeing her soaked top hopelessly.

"My shirt!" She cried, "My 600 dollar shirt!"

"600 dollars?" He looked up while getting down to pick up the wallet she'd lost to the ground as well. He wasn't surprised really. He'd been married to Addison for 11 years, known her for almost 16 after all. He guessed it was because he'd spent a lot of time with Meredith lately. And Meredith wasn't a many hundred dollars kinda type.

"Yes" Judging by the look of her face, it seemed she would burst into tears at any time. "damn it. I have a meeting in an hour, and an appointment…"

"I'm really sorry" He apologized genuinely, running back in to catch a few napkins for her, "I didn't see you coming…I'm sorry. I'll pay for any cost, dry cleaning, anything" Derek was looking for anything to scribble down his name on. He searched his briefcase for a marker and slid the coffee sleeve off the cup, improvising.

"Here's my name…and number…"

"Are you sure?" She hesitantly accepted it, "because now I feel bad. It was an accident…"

"Absolutely" He assured, like the gentleman he was. "Please let me pay. And let me know how bad it is"

"Thank you," She smiled gratefully, looking down at the piece of carton, "Derek…" She held out a hand, "I'm Kate"

Taking the blonde in for a closer look he noticed that she in fact looked younger than she appeared. She was dressed the classic law assistant way, without a whole lot of bling bling to her. Her hair was straight and beautifully golden blonde. Her skin was pale and flawless, not a single line as far as he could tell. She couldn't possibly be thirty.

"I'll give you a call" She promised with a smile.

* * *

"Thank you doc" Derek shook hands with a fifty-something man who'd been in for a cranial nerve exam he had just finished up on. Much to his delight, a possible surgical treatment plan was considered not necessary and he was all smiles when exiting the examination room. Derek walked back in and rechecked his patient list. Clinical consults was normally not on his schedule unless something really big was up, but since the neurology department was loaded and neurosurgery not, he'd agreed on a few hours of duty. He couldn't help feeling like a physician now. Well, he was…He just didn't work like one. He was a surgeon before anything, professionally speaking. He felt awfully pegged if someone ever referred to him as a physician and a physician only.

He went off to the waiting room, calling up his next patient.

"Shepley?"

A female on the other side of the room escaped her seat and he was almost knocked over, seeing who was walking towards him. The young blonde crumbled a little on her spot, slapping her thighs and uttering a surprised laugh.

"You!"

"And you are-" Derek gestured, not completely over the unexpected surprise.

"Kate. Shepley. And you are the Derek who knocked his coffee over me" She grinned widely, "This is so weird! You know, I knew the doctor's name was Derek Shepherd but I failed giving it any further thought. And here I am. With Derek. The coffee guy."

"You are indeed…" He eyed her chest, "you changed"

"I did. I had to. Dropped by Northgate and tried to pick up the least trashy top. I had an interview" She explained.

"How did that go?"

"I don't know. I think I was able to not make a complete fool of myself" Kate replied earnestly, "I hate interviews. I suck at them"

He nodded, secretly waiting an explanation to what caused her presence, "And now you're here…"

"Yes" Her bright face died a little, "my neurologist referred me here. He recommended surgery and wanted me to talk to a specialist."

"Brain tumor" He assumed once they were behind locked doors.

"Yes"

"You have an optic nerve glioma" Derek stated half an hour later, well-seated behind the computer desk, studying the scans sent him by her neurologist. "It's rare. Especially in adults"

Judging by her face, she grew nervous.

"There's no reason to worry" He turned to her with an optimistic smile, "these types of tumors are extremely slow-growing and in around 90 percent of all cases, benign. Surgery is the only out, though. Left untreated it will sooner or later affect the optic nerve and all nearby structures. I'm a little surprised your doctor didn't talk you trough the treatment plan here" He sent her a confused look.

"He kinda did" Kate explained, "but he's a busy man. Not very interested. That's what you get at the community clinic, I guess" She shrugged.

Derek nodded, familiar to it. Some doctors hardly shot a look in the patient's direction, all loaded or not.

"He told me surgery was a wise thing to do. And he said you guys specialize in this great minimally invasive procedure that can get me out of here the same day."

"I'm sorry" He eyed her incredulously, annoyed with her poorly skilled doctor, "seems like you're awfully misled. I'm head of the neurosurgical floor, not the polyclinic. These patients stay for at least 5 to 6 nights in average, even when undergoing minimally invasive surgery. No way I'd let anyone out of there so soon. This is brain surgery and I get the impression that your doctor is comparing this to some selective, during lunchtime nose job." He checked back on the computer, "I'll get the nurse making sure we get the rest of your file, and" He sent her a look, "have an intern taking you up for a CT scan. These films are almost 2 months old. I need new ones"

"Look up for me please" Derek slipped the medical flashlight from his pocket and with a hand placed on her forehead, he instructed her to bend her head ever so slightly. She was installed in her patient room already, her CT's clear, showing no significant changes since her previous scan.

She kept looking at the roof but stole a short glance at Derek without him noticing.

You know Derek, you are a really handsome guy"

He snorted amusedly. Now _that _was definitely something he had never heard before…

"Really?"

"I guess you hear that a lot"

"Not as often as I'd like" He lied.

"Well, I heard the nurses up in Radiology talking about some McDreamy. At least you don't have to worry about that. Can you imagine? McDreamy! Seriously? That must be so embarrassing"

"Yeah…" He tried to hide his face, "really…"

"Would you hit on me?" Kate was changing topic, "I mean, doctors obviously don't date patients. So if I wasn't tumored and never did show up at this place but you still lost your coffee on me and gave me your number and I called you about the dry cleaning part and you covered it…would you ask me out or something?"

"I…" He stuttered. God was this woman intimidating!

"Try not to mind me" She excused herself unsatisfactorily, "try think of it as it's the tumor talking"

"I have a girlfriend. And besides, this type of tumor does not affect-"

She cut him off rudely, "Is she pretty?"

"My point is, your tumor does not excuse you-"

"Is she pretty?"

"Yes, very cute"

"How come you don't have a wife?" The annoying blonde sat up, genuinely curious. "You're obviously not 25 anymore. Don't get me wrong, you're so deliciously handsome, but you're not in the springtime of life anymore. Shouldn't guys like you be married?"

"Divorced"

"How come?" She insisted, "Who would divorce you? Did anyone cheat? Did you cheat? Did she cheat?"

"You're crossing private now, don't you think?" Derek grimaced disapprovingly.

"Tumor talk-"

Derek cut her off with his pair of annoyed eyes.

"Fine" Kate sighed, "but would you give me just one last chance? I just really have to do this one thing and be able to blame the tumor. Cause if I don't get to blame the tumor it'll be all awkward and crazy."

He eyed her the way he would eye a particularly tiring child. Although she was a fun woman she was even more exhausting.

A happy smile painted her face and she jumped down from her bed, her blonde ponytail skipping with the movement. She went to his side, pressed her lips together, moistening them with a lap from her tongue. Derek was towering her with 3 or 4 inches so she tip-toed a little just so he was even closer.

And she kissed him. Leaving him aghast. Paralyzed. To stunned to do anything but surrender to it. Letting the mad moment play out on his lips. Oblivious to the fact that he was letting Izzie Stevens see them.

* * *

**So. You shouldn't hate on Kate. She's definitely not the enemy. And though she might seem random, she'll actually represent the very first major crack in MerDer's relationship.**

**Thank you for your reviews. And bring'em on : )**


	21. Chapter 21: Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me

**Another all in one go. Yeah, I go by train a lot. **

**Thank you for your reviews!**

* * *

Once regaining some control of the crazy situation, Derek pulled apart effectively. "What the hell are you doing!"

His voice was angry, looks demanding.

"Sorry" Kate broke into giggles, covering her face, "I'm sorry. Derek, I'm really sorry. Didn't mean to ambush you"

"Quit the laughing!"

"Sorry" She repeated for the fourth time, a little calmer and a little less flighty, "it was good though. Don't you think?"

"I'm speechless" He proclaimed wearily, shaking his head, "just…speechless…"

"Is that a good thing?"

"No, it's not a good thing!" The neurosurgeon hissed," you can't just…go ahead and kiss whomever you want! Who does that?"

"Me, apparently" She shrugged easily. "I just wanted to know how's it's like to kiss an old guy"

He was getting angrier by the second and she didn't do a very well job talking herself out of her very recent actions.

"I mean a grown up" Kate corrected herself hastily, "a real grown up. As in adult. A really handsome adult"

He eyed her suspiciously. "You don't have a sane bone in your body, do you?"

"You don't have to worry about my orthopedic situation, neurodoctor" She teased, "far as I'm concerned the whole thing runs as it should. It's my brain that needs healing"

"Yeah, well, I guess some things just can't be fixed" He remarked sarcastically, grabbing her chart and his coffee, never been more relieved to leave a patient room.

"You're actually not that nice" She called back. "You look like you have this sympathetic thing going on but really, you're no greater than average Joe"

"You know, I'm so hurt now" He joked, "and shocked. Almost chocked on my coffee. Those words. Wow. Harsh."

"And besides" She went on, "maybe I am driven, to a great extent, by impulsivity. But who could blame me? I have a tumor. And I'm still so young. I can change. Evolve. For the better. You're already old. And mean. I haven't turned 24 yet"

_Now _he was really choking on his coffee…

* * *

"Charlotte, you're done?" Addison wondered while forcing down the last deciliter in her coffee cup. Her little girl finished up her glass of milk and got up from her seat, joining her mother as they exited the hotel breakfast lounge. It was very early Wednesday morning and when most people had one struggle in the world, getting up from bed, Addison was already on her way to the hospital, daughter in tow.

They reached their room and she went to pack hers and Charlotte's bags whilst the little girl went for the bathroom to clean her teeth.

"You're ready in ten?" Addison pressed, looking at her watch. Her shift started in forty minutes and it would take ten to get there, ten to hug her momma's girl off, ten to change into scrubs and at least…ten to get updated on any admitted patients since last night. She realized she was about to run just a little bit late.

"Yes" She called from the bathroom, spitting out the toothpaste.

She was able to do her own teeth and apply a few mascara strokes before another minute had passed. She left the lights out and reached for Charlotte's jacket.

"Mommy, you wanna know something funny?" She eyed her tensioned mother with a smirk, holding out her arms so Addison could slide the red jacket on her effortlessly.

"Of course mommy wants to know something funny" She joined her enthusiastic grin, "you know something funny?"

"Yes" She zipped her jacket up herself whilst Addison got into her coat, "daddy's got a new girlfriend"

She sent her a bewildered look as she reached for her briefcase and the hotel keycard, ready to lock them out and leave, "but you already met Meredith"

"It's not Meredith" She bickered sweetly, being ushered out by Addison, "daddy's kissing another girl."

"Why do you say that?"

"because Izzie-Bizzie said so" She said, Stevens' gossip not passing the observant little gal unnoticed.

"Sweetie, Meredith is daddy's girlfriend now. I'm sure it's her she saw"

"Daddy kisses a lot of girls" She ignored her mother's attempt of a rational explanation, "does he have a lot of girlfriends?"

"Enough with the fairy stories, okay?" They reached for the parking lot, explaining it all to her credulous gal, "People say a lot of inappropriate things in the hospital. That doesn't make it true"

"But it is! Daddy's so pretty so he's kissing many pretty girls!"

Addison warned her through the review mirror. "Charlotte…"

"Mommy, it's super true!" She promised, "she has loooong Barbie hair and she's a model"

Addison grimaced. Apparently this girl existed in Charlotte's fantasy world only but she couldn't help it. It didn't sound like Derek's type of woman really. But she was judgmental by nature. The girl could be chief of surgery for all she knew. Only thing was, this time, she believed Charlotte was telling a good old-fashioned lie.

* * *

Derek made a loud entrance in the attending's longue, attracting the attention of the two people there, Addison and Noah.

The redhead looked up instantly, precautious. "Derek, we're in the middle of something-"

"You can't ban me from the attending's longue" He refused, dumping down next to her. He sent Noah a curious look and vice versa, both men silently waiting for the female in the middle to introduce them.

"Derek, this is Doctor Noah Barnes, newly hired OB-GYN attending on my floor." She explained professionally. "And Noah, this is…er," Introducing Derek seemed to be slightly more complicated," my…no…This is Derek Shepherd"

"Shepherd?" The two men shook hands, "you two…?"

"Yes" They stated in unison, "Were"

"You're the pancake guy" Derek recalled his name from Charlotte. She'd been going on all about Noah, the guy who bought her pancakes when her mother backed out.

"She told you" He said with a smile.

Derek stated self-assuredly, "She tells me anything"

"…that you know of" Addison reminded him from behind her glasses, partly mocking.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just mocking you" Her face went strict as she laid her eyes on the computer screen in front of them, "Look, if you're gonna mess around and make a lot of noise you better get out. We're studying a research here"

"Mess around? When do I ever mess around? I came to talk to you. About this thing. Need your advice"

"I'm not your counselor, nor your mommy" She cued, her eyes absent to him as she had her focus solely on the case in front of her.

Not having Addison's blessing to go ahead with whatever was on his heart, he still kept on going. "I kissed a patient"

The reaction coming from the gynecology duo was nothing like discreet. They looked up, aghast.

"No" Derek corrected, realizing he'd come to say it wrong. "I didn't kiss her. She definitely kissed me. I don't know why I put it wrong in the first place…She. Kissed. Me"

"Wow" Noah breathed finally, "and you…let her?"

"For a second, yes. I was too stunned to do anything"

"And she's your patient?"

"Yes. I have to operate on her today"

"Derek" Addison cut in, annoyed. "There's a white thing behind you that has a handle on it. Commonly known as the door"

"Give me some time" He protested, "I need to bare my soul here. I can't operate on her, can I?"

"Depends" Noah guessed, "How are your feelings towards her?"

"There are no feelings. I don't know the woman. We randomly ran into each other at a coffee shop. And I have a girlfriend"

"You know" Addison looked up for a swift second, "when I think about it, this morning, Charlotte talked about some Barbiegirl kissing you that wasn't Meredith."

"Charlotte knows?" Derek gasped, "how the hell is that possible?"

"She caught Stevens dish the dirt"

"Oh, god, that woman…" He groaned, knowing for sure the blonde intern was not only a doctor but also wise president of gossip land, "she's getting on my nerves…"

"So how is she?" Noah fished, "your kissing gal?"

"Crazy" It came from him instantly, "boundaryless. She's got no self control whatsoever."

"Is she hot?"

"She's not even 24…"

"Sweet" The new gynecologist grinned, "I say go for it"

"You're making out with children now?" Addison couldn't help herself.

"Come on. 24 is by no means a child. They're young adults. Free-spirited and open minded. Digging the older guys. Money, looks and power, that's what they want" Noah turned to Derek, "go help yourself. You shouldn't be ashamed. You earned it"

"Like I said, I have a girlfriend. I'm not gonna go 'help myself'. I could never even think about kissing her"

"But you didn't pull away…"

"Course I did"

"After a few seconds. You waited for a few"

"Because I was shocked" Derek explained, "but the real matter is do I tell Meredith or not? I can't not tell her right? Because then she'll think I'm hiding something"

"Maybe she knows already" Noah suggested.

"You think so?"

"I get the impression everyone knows. Wouldn't it just be too good to be true if she was the only one left out?"

"Right" He mused, rubbing his slightly bearded chin, "either way I'm gonna tell her. Just so she knows she's getting the whole truth" He turned to Addison, "you think I should tell her, right?"

Addison got up, fed up on the guyish men. She shut her laptop close and grabbed for her pager, attaching it to the top of her pencil skirt. "I'm going now. Because unlike the two of you, I have better, more important things to do then to sit here and talk about Derek's ponytailed…topless…" Bad pictures were painting her head while mocking him, "cheerleader-high -school honeys and all the stress they're causing his pretty little brain"

An appalled gesture came on his face, deeply offended by her statement. "Rude"

Both men fell back into a lazy position once she shut the door behind her.

"Women" Noah grumbled into the silence.

"Women" Derek echoed, just as unenthusiastic.

"Must be hard being you. With all the hair and the women"

"You bet"

Noah sent him a casual look, inviting him away from complicated for a while. "You wanna have a drink with me and hear about my crappy lovelife?"

"Yeah"

* * *

"Hey" Meredith slipped in between the closing elevator doors, seizing the opportunity as Derek was the only one there. She was happy she could get a quick minute alone with him for the first time this day, back to back surgeries were lined up for her the next eight hours.

"Hey" He looked up from his phone, dwelling on her happy self a little. _She did not know, obviously._

She pressed the emergency button, momentarily putting the elevator to rest, and snuggled up to him. "so I know you said you were picking me up at seven but we could make it nine, right? You wouldn't mind? There's no way they're letting me out before then. Pit's loaded and Callie's keeping me hostage"

"Meredith-" He started.

"I'm really looking forward to date night. I feel like we haven't done anything lately. I want big chunks of carbs and wine and I want to kiss you and I want you to kiss me and I want you to do more than kiss me…" She grinned invitingly.

"About that…there's something…"

"You're not blowing it off, right?"

"No, I'm not, but I need to talk to you about something…"

Rudely, she cut him off again and led him towards the wall, leaning in and pressing a kiss on his lips. "Less talking…more kissing…I'm fan of kissing…more kissing I say…"

"That's my line" He pointed out with a chuckle, growing a little uncomfortable once she started attacking his neck lovingly, "you can't use my… line. Meredith, seriously. I need to…"

"I know exactly what you need to…" She teased, oblivious to his aching dilemma.

"No, you don't get it. It's not…that" He gulped once she hit a particularly sensitive spot with her tongue.

He wasn't exactly devastated when her pager went off, calling it an emergency. He didn't have the conscience to go on and make out with her when she was obviously still left in the dark about it. She groaned and hit the stop button and he sent her a supportive smile.

"You can talk as much as you like" She warned whilst getting off, "but either way, your girlfriend's gonna get you laid"

**Well. The friendly thing between Derek and Noah won't last long. That's for sure. **

**Kate's gonna stir up the hospital a little. With some "help" from Izzie : )**

**Also, someone takes an instant like on her. On Kate, that is.**


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two: The Way I Am

**Hey guys : ) **

**Again, thank you so much for your reviews. They are truly sweet!**

**I'm glad you like Kate! Cause she's gonna stick around. She's not gonna be a central character but will definitely serve a purpose.**

* * *

"I don't like these" Charlotte fished out a few olives from her pasta salad selectively. It was lunchtime at Seattle Grace and Derek had stolen his daughter away for while so they could eat together. Good weather was a rare thing in this town and the present sun had attracted many to the tables outside.

"Daddy, you eat them" She suggested, bringing a green one to his mouth.

"If you have some of this" He suggested a compromise, feeding her with a spoonful of avocado. She accepted the mushy consistency and swallowed it.

"Avocado" She recognized, "it's not that bad"

"Good" He wiped her cheek proudly, smiling up at his amazing daughter. She was a stunner. He studied the focused, thoughtful look she got on her face now as she let her eyes sweep across the eating area and all the different people. He guessed he had a resembling look going on when operating.

"Look!" She pointed out, catching Noah standing in the coffee line, "it's Noah! The pancake guy"

He followed her visually, "you're right"

"Is he working here?"

"He is. He's working with mommy"

"He's a doctor?"

"Yeah. He's a doctor, almost like mommy."

"Almost?"

"Mommy's specially trained in trickier stuff" He explained so that she could comprehend, "when someone is very, very ill they need mommy"

"So mommy's better than Noah" She said undiplomatically, putting two and two together. "is anyone better than you, daddy?"

The new doc on the block caught notice on them and waved. He took one step in their direction before being brought to a halt by his pager and he disappeared in the opposite direction.

"Princess" He said complacently. "you know I'm the best doctor in the whole hospital." He leaned into her and put his chin on her little shoulder, instructing her to look three tables ahead of them. "see that geeky man over there? With the glasses? Sitting next to the woman in the white scrubs?"

Charlotte nodded. "His name's Jim. He's the same kind of doctor as me. He was the boss before we came out here. But then I became the boss because I'm the best" He wasn't lying. Nelson had been promised the head of neurosurgery position by Richard before Derek decided to swoop in on his red cape from New York and save the whole thing.

"we do the same stuff but I'm much better than him." He loved the admiring response he got from his hopeful one. She threw her arms around him.

"You make me proud" She concluded precociously and with a satisfied sigh. God, he loved these moments. Not only because her comments made his ego experience a real boost but he could clearly see her feelings were genuine. He looked at everyone around them. It was definitely his turn now. In high school, he was the real geek with afros and acnes and hardly any friends. It wasn't like that anymore. The hospital was a clicky place. This was high school, only two decades later. Today, he was the star. He was the winner in pretty much everything. Qualifications, skills and talent, bedside manners, looks, McDreamyness…

People eyed them in awe. Nurses, doctors, visitors…They watched him with longing eyes and gushed over the little starlet at his side.

And he would bask in his own glory every once in a while.

"Derek"

A female approached them, from out of nowhere, instantly blocking the comforting sunlight. He looked up and groaned heavily on the inside. Not here as well! She was an annoying mosquito, she was everywhere.

"What are you doing here?" He eyed her state. She looked relatively good to be a postoperative patient. Except from the surgical wrap around her head, she looked glowy and healthy.

"You can't be here! And you're in no condition-" he insisted.

"I bought you a triple espresso" Kate handed him a grand-sized coffee to go, "figured I'd make it up to you. You lost your coffee because of me and you saved my life in return. You earned the triple espresso" She insisted with a generous smile. "mind if I join you?"

"No, no. You cannot sit here" He stressed, "and besides, you need to rest-"

"I feel fine. And I need to stretch my legs anyway" She instantly found her spot next to Charlotte, already falling for her sweet face. "Oh my God. That's one gorgeous child" She turned to Derek, "she's gotta be yours. You're so much alike"

"Hi" Charlotte introduced herself eagerly, "I'm Charlotte"

"Hey!" She instantly embraced the little girl's shyless act. "you're seriously the sweetest thing I've ever seen. My name's Kate"

"What happened to your head?" It wasn't possible to not notice her significant bandage and Charlotte looked up at her apprehensively, carefully touching the white patch with her fingertip. "does it hurt?"

"It doesn't" She assured her with a smile, "not anymore. I'm all good now" She sent Derek, who was looking all baffled and stunned by now, a grateful look, "your dad saved me"

The girly duo eyed him contentedly. "He saves a lot of people" Charlotte pointed out proudly, "good daddy"

Derek moved in his seat, uneasily. "You have to go. You can't sit with us. I'm your doctor, you're my patient"

"I'm your sister, I'm your daughter" Kate mocked him thoughtlessly, "we met outside a coffee shop. And you owe me 600 bucks. Don't bother with the formal talk, Derek"

Her casual way of addressing him was starting to bother him. The girl had no scruples! "would you please not call me Derek?"

"It's your name, isn't it?"

"Inside the walls of this hospital it's doctor Shepherd" He grumbled, "you have got to stop taking liberties with me. Why is everything a joke to you?"

"Aww" She teased, "you're from the east coast right? New York, I presume?"

"Why?"

"You're just as stuck up as everyone there. You guys are so self-important I don't get it. Must be exhausting. Bet you're one of those Hamptons, marble floor, gated community type of guys as well." A year ago, she would have been awfully correct but there was no way he would admit to that.

He snorted. "And you?"

"Born and raised in Vegas"

"Yeah. Where else?" He replied sarcastically. "explains the gracelessness."

"Whatever you say" She took a gulp of her coffee, her satisfied grin never ceasing, "doctor Shepherd"

"You're daddy's new girlfriend" Charlotte suddenly spoke, making Derek choke on his coffee for the second time this day. Kate had a particularly hard time keeping her cappuccino down as well.

"What!" Derek eyed her with horror. "What did you just say!"

"Wow" The blonde Las Vegan lent back in her seat, "I guess I didn't plan making this much of an impression"

"Clearly this is spinning out of control" He eyed her hopelessly, "you should just go"

"You're so pretty!" Charlotte grabbed a lock of her hair, not letting the young woman walk out on her. "Are you a model?"

"If I'm a model? No, I'm not. But you're so sweet saying that! I always wanted to be one though. I'm actually going to be a journalist but I don't wanna write for a boring paper. I really want to work for this fashion magazine" She had dreams in her eyes, "I love shoes and bags and sparkly stuff. And then I could interview models and become best friends with them and we could go to these amazing places together…"

Charlotte was adopting the blissful image of the picture perfect girly world she was drawing at her. "Wow" She breathed, awestruck. "I wanna be one too!"

Derek shook his head, amused and annoyed all at once. He knew it was easy influencing a child by using all optimistic talk. At the same time he couldn't help praying to God she would end up making herself more useful than that.

"You could be my assistant!" Kate cheered, Charlotte grinning happily. "really?"

"We'd be so major together" She stated confidently, "and we would be the prettiest girls in the building. Dream team"

"Dream team!" Charlotte answered, over the moon about her high-spirited plan.

The very vocal girls attracted the attention of two interns next to them, one eyeing Kate death curiously whilst the other sent a smile in Charlotte's direction. Inspecting the crowd a little closer he noticed there were others looking at them as well. In fact…the whole goddamn cafeteria was watching them!

He spotted George and Izzie at a distance. She was gaping while George tried to steal short, discreet glances at them. Several nurses on his floor, as well. And a group of anesthesiologists.

Looking to his left, he saw Shadow Shepherd taking on a suspicious look. A moment later he got up and walked towards him. Derek grimaced. He was not up for a public scene.

"Shepherd" He paused at their table, "a word?"

"Certainly" He answered flatly. They paused next to the coffee cart.

"From what I can tell, that…friend-… of yours" He motioned towards Kate, "has undergone some kind of brain surgery. And she's certainly not my patient and Ramsey's off schedule today so I can only assume she belongs to you" He reckoned, pausing for a moment.

"I don't know what you do back in New York but in Seattle we don't practice lunch dates with patients."

"She's an acquaint" He lied, "and I'll keep that in mind. When you become head of neurosurgery I'll make sure to keep you enlightened on who I decide to invite to my break"

"This does not reflect well on my department" He spat out, annoyed with his sarcastic remark, "I've been around for almost 10 years, you have been here for less than 6 months."

"I think the word you're looking for is yours. As in my department" Derek eyed the nerdy underachiever amusedly. "You know they call you Shadow Shepherd, right?"

"Unlike you, I don't let rumors get to me."

"Well, it is in fact not a rumor but a…fact" He raised his cup of coffee dismissively and turned his back on him, "it was nice talking to you… Doctor Nelson…"

The middle-aged second ranked surgeon watched Derek withdraw from their conversation. God, did he resent that douchebag. He thought he could play with everyone's feelings, because he was Derek Shepherd. Jim knew his story. He'd hurt a lot of people on his way here. But he was let off the hook. Again, because he was Derek Shepherd. He was sick of staring into the picture perfect face of that womanizer. He was sick of being sidetracked. Sick of seeing him grab the most amazing surgeries, the hottest wife, a young intern. And now an even younger modelesque-looking patient! A patient for God's sake!

Heading back for their table Derek ached at the distressing sight. Kate was braiding Charlotte's hair now and his daughter was offering her small pieces of carrots and apples in return. God! His child was bonding with the crazy Vegan. He ran a hopeless hand through his hair, trying to count on exactly how many who would come to witness this.

Kate was trouble and only trouble. Since walking in here she'd come to stir up the whole medical building, leaving other attendings thinking he was dating his own patient! And what was this thing with Charlotte? Why was Kate able to win her heart all so soon? He knew his daughter. She wasn't shy. But she wasn't completely careless about who she welcomed into her life at first sight, either. Introducing her to Meredith had required much more effort than…this.

"Your boss?" Kate tied a hair band expertly around the bottom of Charlotte's French braid, sending him a quick look, "you're in trouble?"

"That's hardly any of your business, is it?" He replied tiredly, just having to state the comfortable fact. "and it's the other way around, I'm his boss"

"Wow" She uttered incredulously. "He looked so old. And dull. You're hot. And fun" She smirked up at him, "and you're cute when you're mad"

Now he ignored her. He gathered their stuff and offered Charlotte a hand. "Come on. Let's get going"

"But I wanna hang out with Katie" She rebelled a little, stubborn, "please?"

"That's not an option" He refused patiently, "you have lessons to attend to"

"Please?" Her plead intensified, "please, please. A little bit"

"You have to go" She helped him out a little, "but maybe I'll see you around or something. I'm gonna be around for the next few days."

_Unfortunately_, was Derek's first thought.

"It was so nice to meet you, Charlotte" Although a little taken aback, she instantly softened as the girl threw her arms around her, relying on her return.

* * *

He spotted the redhead beauty at a distance. She was lunching alone and he was just supposed to get something from the reception center but he had a few moments to spare. She was so unbelievably beautiful he had a hard time looking at her. Feeling courageous, he decided to approach her. Her got a coffee from the cart and walked towards her.

"Doctor Montgomery" He paused at her chair, making his presence known.

"Yes?" Half attentive, she looked up for a second, giving up on the magazine she'd occupied herself with.

"May I join you?" He motioned for the empty chairs around her. She eyed him curiously, doing her best trying to recall the mousy guy in front of her but nothing came to mind.

"I'm sorry. I don't think we've met…"

"You're right about that" He held out a hand, "Doctor Jim Nelson"

She'd never seen the guy but she knew she heard his name somewhere. She held up a finger, "neurosurgery, right?"

"You're an observant person"

"Not really" She shook his hand, "Addison Montgomery"

"I know" He put his coffee cup next to hers, "may I ask why a beautiful, talented woman like Addison Montgomery is having lunch all by herself?"

"Oh. Er, thank you" She replied, instantly sensing his intimidating side, "I guess I enjoy…eating…in silence…"

"You're in the Shepherd-Burke clique, am I right?"

"Shepherd-Burke clique?" She looked up, incredulous and unbeknownst to his assumptions. "There are…cliques?"

"Absolutely. This hospital is a high school playground and Shepherd thinks he own the whole place"

"I think you're putting way too much thought into it. Derek is…just Derek"

"You mean a bloated and pompous neurodarling with too much hair who like to lean against things and ponder the difficulties of dating beautiful women" Nelson grunted, "how does he do that? we work 18 hour shifts on a weekly basis. Even more. Apparently he finds the time seeing that 20 year old model girls are giggling at him and patting his ass. My question is just, how?"

"I think the word you're looking for's Kate Shepley" She was right. After one day Kate Shepley seemed to have made a significant impact on the hospital crew. Apparently she was the new hot-shot thing, the name was on everyone's lips. And for those who had yet to know her name she was simply labeled _The Girl Who Made Out Derek Shepherd _or _Shepherd's Kissing Gal_ for short.

"This thing has been blown out of proportions" She made him aware, "she's probably just an insecure, lost girl trending towards some kind of behavioral disturbance. He wouldn't let that happen, he's not stupid. There's a reason we don't hang out with patients. Great loads of trouble would be waiting."

"Yeah. But I still wonder why. What does that guy do, that attracts females of every sort? I really want to know."

Addison grinned suspiciously. "You want to know…how to get in the pants of 24 year old posers?"

"No. I want to know what's his method. Is it looks and looks alone or are there more to it?"

"It's not all about the looks. He is…well, extremely confident…" She had to laugh at this. Here she was, debating her ex-husbands characteristics to some kind of copycat she didn't really know. "Derek believes in himself. He has this amazing connection with the patients. He truly cares and it shows off. He's not trying to be someone he's not. He is who he is. We should all be. I am who I am" She did a pretty decent job with the therapeutic talk. "you are who you are. Just be that way" She brought up a firm, decisive hand in a gesture, "walk tall."

"I am who I am" He echoed. "I'm going to get up and walk tall and not let that golden boy get to me."

"Walk tall" She encouraged him further, a little bit relieved when he seceded from her table. In an instant he had turned to her again, a pair of inquiring eyes set on her.

"Monty" He proclaimed with some newfound attitude, "Care to have a drink with me tonight?"

* * *

Derek stood at the nurse's station, inspecting a CT-scan when he noticed a tiny, blonde feature in the corner of his eye. He turned to see her eyeing him with evident skepticism.

"Meredith" He breathed, "Hi…"

"Who's Kate?" She demanded, stepping forward a little, arms crossed defensively.

He sighed. _She found out._ Or someone told her. It was definitely not the way he wanted her to find out. He was going to tell her himself, unfortunately someone got ahead of him.

"Meredith-" He tried.

"Who's Kate?" Her voice was flat, claiming an answer.

"Can we go…" He motioned towards the empty office room, wanting to attack the issue in private.

"No" She snapped back, "just answer me dammit"

"She's a patient. I operated on her. And she kissed me. I'm sure you heard about that. That's why you're asking. But Meredith-" He felt up her shoulder but she wrenched off.

"So now you're kissing patients?"

"No. God, no. Meredith, I swear…She kissed me. I didn't return that"

"You lingered"

"What?"

"You didn't back off! Izzie saw you. You let her kiss you!"

"She shocked me" He reached for her again, "I did not see it coming. She's insane. She thinks she can do whatever pops into her brain and I hate that Charlotte likes her-"

"What did you just say?" She bored her eyes into him, "you're introducing trampy girls to your family? The whole hospital buzzes about it and you were gonna keep your mouth shut and pray I wouldn't hear about it?"

"I was going to tell you"

"When?"

"What?"

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Today"

Just then, oblivious to the fact that it was just her the surgeon and the intern were going on about, Kate strode out of the elevator. The confident blonde was just returning from a check-up and a very light postop workout session, explaining her clothing. She had black shorts on and a bright pink top, not leaving a whole lot to the imagination. She caught notice of Derek and a petite tired and angry-looking doctor of some kind.

Feeling adventurous, she sneaked up behind him and brushed his arm very gently. "Hey Derek…" She spoke, softly and seductive. "see you later…"

She sent the trainee doctor a curious smile, rounded the corner and disappeared before Derek got the chance to do anything, Meredith's infuriated face meeting his eyes.

* * *

**Addison is definitely not dating Nelson. But this is here Noah comes in. Next chapter reveals that. **

**About next chapter. I decided to give my other story a go, got a few requests on a new chappie and it will be up in next week I guess. I'm almost done with it. So if you read that one, be on the lookout ;)**

**I won't sacrifice this one though. And it shouldn't take long. **


	23. Chapter 23: Don't Stand So Close To Me

**Hi guys. I feel like I'm awfully delayed although I'm not. But I promised this to be up supersoon and it took me a little bit longer. Since I have a bit of a hard time finishing up a chapter in my other story, I turned to this instead. I decided to make a little flashback in the beginning of this. Hope you think it's cute.**

**Things heat up in the next chapter, I can promise you that. There's good heating and bad heating. Good heating actually means bad heating(but that's just MerDer wise) :)**

**Thank you so much for still showing me all your interest in this story. It always warms my lil' chilly heart :)**

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

_Mount Sinai Hospital, 2000_

"Not so fast" Derek hunt her down just when she was stepping inside the empty elevator and right in time before the doors slid shut. He had a sexy stern look on his face and he pinned her to the walls demandingly.

"Why's Lockhart looking at you like you're some sort of sweetheart of his?"

"What?" She sniggered unawarely. Derek held her prisoned, not seeming willing to let go of her just yet.

"You heard me. He's looking at you. And touching you. And constantly following you around" He grabbed a fistful of her locks, ponytailing her red hair with his hand. "thought I'd let you know you're married. To me. You're mine"

"You're being silly" She blew him off, "he's a colleague. That's all."

"Trust me, I know that look. He's got the look all men gets when they see something worth craving for"

"Derek" Addison insisted with a smile, "He knows I'm off limits. But what can I say? You're adorable when you're jealous. You become this overprotective caveman"

He slapped her butt, claiming, only adding further support to her theory. "Say it out loud. That you belong to me"

"You belong to me" She teased him on purpose.

"Yes" He reassured her and slapped her butt again, "but you know what I meant"

"I do" She sneaked a hand underneath his scrub top, feeling up the snug skin on his backbone. "I do belong to you. For a lifetime. You're the only man I wanna look at and the only man I ever wanna be married to"

"Excellent" As if he needed the approval. He knew that already. "I have plans for us tonight. So when Lockhart's having another yearning dream about you, you'd already be on an amazing night date with your husband. Me in a tie, you in a dress." He instructed, "there'll be loads of seafood, wine and candlelight. And when we get home…a bubble bath and a little bit of nakedness."

"Really?" Her eyebrows rose expectantly, "I'd love that!"

"Mhm" He mumbled pleasantly. "There will be lot of feeling you up. I'm afraid I can't promise to keep my hands off you even during dinner. I hate that we work opposite shifts. When you're in surgery and I'm in bed all by myself I crave for you. Make me so damn horny. And when other men look at you…" He pinned her back to the wall, staring her down hungrily. "I just can't help myself…"

"I'll let you feel me up" She promised him lovingly and with a kiss. "And I'll make it up to you, all those solitary nights you've had…"

"You wanna ride me right here, right now?" He suggested liberally, motioning for the limited space of the elevator. "You've got plenty of room to do me good"

Temptation got her and she licked her lips readily. But just as she reached out to hit the emergency button the elevator landed at the next floor, doors unfolding, revealing Addison's eager wooer. His face lit up instantly once spotting her.

"Hey Addison" His voice deflated a little when acknowledging her husband. "And doctor Shepherd…"

Derek fully enjoyed seeing the normally so arrogant oncology resident going all humble and polite around her. He kissed the tip of her nose and squeezed her butt indiscreetly, just to let Wyatt notice and to rub it in his face. _She's mine._

"I promise. Raincheck" Addison promised once Derek was about to leave for his floor, mourning over their splintered elevator sex plan a little.

"Oh, trust me, I'll keep in mind. Till tonight" He hinted flirtatiously. On his way out, he hit Wyatt's shoulder pitifully.

"In your dreams, buddy"

* * *

"Hey" Derek greeted two nurses on his way through the neurosurgery corridors. His self-contented pace was brought to a halt once spotting Addison, looking all seductively goddess-y in her incredibly tight black dress and patent heels, with no other than… geeky Nelson.

Addison uttered a nasal laugh and bored her hands into her lab coat pockets, leaning into the reception desk at the nurse's station. Shadow Shepherd seemed to be in a relatively good mood himself, joining her at finding something exceedingly funny.

"Do you have a brain tumor?" He addressed her, eyeing her suspiciously. Nelson grimaced, not overwhelmingly blissful about Derek inviting himself to their small gather.

"What? No! Why do you say that?"

"You're talking to Nelson" He quizzed, "why would you talk to Nelson unless there's a medical explanation-"

"Excuse us" Addison hissed, grabbing his arm hard to lead them out of hearing distance, instantly catching the insulting approach. "What the hell was that!"

Derek freed his arm from her grip, with some effort. Her arms were light but man, she got him in a tight hold.

"You were talking to Shadow Shepherd" He stated observantly.

"Stop saying that!"

"Stop saying what?"

"Shadow Shepherd" She uttered, out of comfort, "it's pathetic. And low"

"It's true" He promised, "so what were you guys talking about? Did he ask you out on a date?" He was amused by the thought already.

"Because I'm talking to a fellow surgeon there has to be personal feelings involved?"

"You ate lunch with him"

"I eat lunch with Miranda and Callie every day. Does that mean we're doing each other?" She asked stupidly.

"Addison, seriously. Women like you don't socialize with men like him"

"Right" She was getting angrier now, "says who?"

"You're nowhere equal. In plain English, you're out of his league and you know it, deep down."

"Because you and Meredith semble each other perfectly." She remarked sarcastically, playing on his recent words. "Derek, seriously. Men like you don't socialize with mousy women"

He sighed hopelessly. "Do not get his hopes up. Cause when you decide to back out it's my staff who has to put up with his cranky antics."

"I've been here for no more than two months. And I'd like to meet the people I share workplace with. Unlike you, I'm all in for a humble approach. Jim sat down and opted for a conversation. And I think that's nice"

"Jim?" He was about to break into a loud chuckle, "seriously? It's Jim now?"

"It's certainly not 'Shadow Shepherd'" She bit back, realizing she was wasting both their times banging her head against the wall. It was just not possible talking sense into his thick, self-centered and condescending mind. This was a joke to him. Nelson was a joke to him and apparently, so was she. According to himself, every guy shooting a look at her and offering her a second's attention had some kind of personal agenda. It'd been that way since they first met. And she was sick of it.

Rejective, she turned her back on him and exited the neurosurgical floor, trotting along on her immaculate legs.

* * *

"I need a favor" Derek edged into the elevator, approaching his newfound friend. Noah held onto his shot of caffeine for dear life, yawning brutally whilst juggling a piece of aspirin.

"Four drinks makes four too many" He stated, recalling their bar outing last night.

Derek ignored his hangover, sending him a confiding look. "I need you to hit on Addison for me"

Espresso dribbled from his lips as he choked on it. "Since when did I start taking orders from you?

"You owe me. I bought every round last night. And if you want to make friends with the coolest guy in the hospital you do this for him"

"But…why?" He asked incredulously.

"You know Nelson?"

He thought for one second. "The mousy underachiever with the hair loss thing going on?"

"Yeah. He fancies her. And it's just ridiculous. She keeps saying there's nothing going on but he think of it differently, I know he does. And Addison's clearly uncomfortable even though she doesn't want to admit that. Silently, she's crying to be rescued. So I need you to steal her attention"

"Why can't you do it?"

"I'm her ex-husband. And I have enough on my plate as it is. My girlfriend's not speaking to me and Crazy is crazier than ever" He said, rudely nicknaming Kate, "Shadow Shepherd's rapidly growing ego is much more than I can take right now"

"I don't know" He debated skeptically, "Addison is just not the type you hit on"

"She's not your type? First time I've met a guy who thinks of her like that"

"Of course she is. She's…well, yeah…incredible. Come on Derek, you don't mess with her like that. It's not right. It's horrible. You don't have the right to fool people around like that."

"Still not up for it?" Derek fished out baseball tickets from his labcoat pocket. "VIP tickets, Yankees-Mariners next Saturday." He lured. He knew Noah was a true Mariner, being born and raised and now residing in Seattle. Watching his favorite team win at home made his day.

"You can't be serious" He gawked, "you want me to hit on your ex-wife over a ticket? What are you, some sick and twisted pimp?"

"I'm not" He smiled self-satisfactorily, waving the worthy piece of paper in front of him, "I'm doing this as a favor to Addison. Nelson too, actually. I'd hate to see my lackey hurt" He was sarcastic by now.

"She's Addison. I'm sure she doesn't need you to tell her what she wants and not"

"We've been married for eleven years. Trust me, I know her. And you're a decent looking guy. Go blow her away"

"What are the rules here? If she falls hard for me, I mean. We can make out but not feel each other up? We can have sleepovers but no sex?"

"Neither. Care to remind you you're not actually hitting on her. You do this to make her feel good and believe you do. Pet her a little. Compliment her"

"What do I say?"

"She's a pioneer in your field. You tell me"

"So strictly professional" Noah counted.

"Maybe you should add to it a personal detail or two. Praise the Captain" He concluded, "yeah, that'll make her happy"

"The Captain?"

"Her father. He's an arrogant jerk. Internal medicine specialist but he barely spends a day in a hospital. Too much going on at the golf court" He uttered in aversion, "everyone hates him except for Addison. So if you pretend you think differently you'll catch her fancy, I'm sure"

"You really do have faith in this stupid idea" He shook his head, "do you feel threatened by Nelson? Really? Is that it?"

Derek uttered a nasal chuckle. "I don't feel threatened, ever. And I never get jealous. You should take notes" He advised mockingly, throwing a notepad at him, "remember, her skills. And the Captain. And you should probably mention the Hamptons, too. Addison loves the Hamptons. But you should not say Bizzy's name. We don't talk about her."

Noah was actually doing was he was told and scribbled something down on the small sheet. He squinted at Derek, clueless.

"Bizzy?"

"Her mother"

"Does these people have a real name, or…? Cause Bizzy and the Captain…that's kinda far out"

"What can I say, they're not much human" Derek shrugged. "You're doing this then?"

"What's in it for me? Besides the game?"

"I'll buy the drinks and snacks" He faked some childish enthusiasm.

Noah sighed, reluctantly accepting his query at last.

"Fine"

* * *

"Meredith!" Derek spotted her awaiting the elevator at the third floor. She turned to him and unlike what he expected, she didn't run off. She bit her lips and moved to him.

"Meredith…" he touched her arm, "I don't want it to be this way. Just please, you have to talk to me. Kate's being discharged soon, thank god, and you won't hear a word about her any more. We can get back to being us"

"I know" She agreed, a faint smile playing on her lips, "and I know you didn't kiss her. Why would you do that? She's a psychical mess."

"You…you believe me?" He stammered, wide-eyed, surprised with her sudden turn. This morning she was furious with him.

"I do. I believe you, Derek. "evil tongues are everywhere in this place."

"Meredith, thank god" He ran a hand through his hair, "I would never even look at the woman. She's provocative. And mean."

"I know. It's you and I" She took his hand, "are you leaving?"

"I am. You too?"

"Yeah" She grinned hopefully.

"Hungry?"

"Starving"

"Eat out with me?" He smiled, tilting his head to the side pleadingly.

"I'd like that"

* * *

"Tomorrow's gonna be my lucky day" Derek proclaimed happily when entering the patient room of Kate's. "Cause tomorrow you'll be out of here. I'm allowing myself to celebrate a little, starting today already. I don't have to put up with your pathetic actions anymore-" He paused dead in his tracks once looking up from his chart.

"I'm glad to finally put a smile on your face Doctor Shepherd" She sighed unenthusiastically. "God, you're such a whiner"

He ignored her statement, his eyes fixed on the person sitting at her bedside. His daughter!

"Daddy" Charlotte acknowledged happily, "look!"

She held up a dissected Vogue magazine and her sketchbook with dresses and sparkly amazingness, creating her own cut and paste dress-up collage.

"We're designing stuff" She uttered proudly, reaching for the scissor so she could attack another glossy page with it.

"Why." Derek took the sharp tool from her hands, shocked. "Are you. Here"

"I'm visiting the sick patient" She said matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You cannot be here" He refused, shooting Kate a hostile look. "And Kate's not sick. Or well, she is indeed sick but not that kind of sick- sick"

"Touché" Kate feigned hurt, "you just broke my heart a little"

"What the hell did you do? Why is she here?"

"I didn't do anything. She came here, all by herself, knocking on my door."

Charlotte reached for the scissors again unsuccessfully and let out a discouraged whine once Derek slipped it in his pockets.

"It's mine!"

"You have to come with me right away" He instructed impatiently. Once they were situated outside Kate's room, he bent down to her level attentively.

"Why are you running off to hang out with her?"

"We're friends"

"Charlotte, listen to me. You are most definitely not friends."

"Yes! And Kate is super fun!" She confessed easily.

"She is a very troubled person" Derek eyed her seriously and a little bit desperate, explaining his unwisely chosen words, "She's crazy. She's a crazy person."

Charlotte shook her head, defying. "She's my friend"

"I don't get why you're so fascinated by her. You have a lot of friends in class. I want you to hang out with them and not this…" He swallowed, doing the best he could not to share his honest opinion on the uproarious blonde with his innocent sweetheart. "…woman"

"They're not my friends" She answered bluntly.

He cupped her delicate cheek in his palm. "Honey, I know you miss Hayley…and everyone. But you need to give people a chance."

"But daddy, you don't" She bickered smartly.

"What?"

"You're not Shadow Shepherds friend" She was too bright. "And you're not uncle Mark's friend anymore. You don't want friends"

"That's not the same thing, not at all" He shut her reasons down. "And Kate is not your friend. You don't know her"

"Not yet" She differed stubbornly and too maturely. "but she wanna go shopping with me and we'll know each other"

"No, Char. It doesn't work like that-"

"You can be Kate's friend too" She suggested, "that would be nice"

"I will not be Kate's friend" Just when he uttered her name, blonde exited her room. Derek felt annoyance growing on his bones. He was so going to confront the woman.

"Go find mommy, okay?" He stroke her hair and let her go, "she's in the longue room. Up the stairs and-" Charlotte nodded familiarly and spun around for the opposite direction.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He faced Kate.

"Excuse me?"

"You're giving her ideas. Crazy ideas. Like spending time with you" He spat at her.

"I didn't say anything!"

"Of course you didn't" Derek was sarcastic, "she came up with this all by herself."

"You're underestimating me so badly. A bit of a meek attitude would have been nice here."

"I beg you pardon! You have no business addressing me like that. Don't you dare try to lecture _me_"

"You don't know what you're talking about" Her celadon eyes sparkled fervidly.

"No, _you_ don't know what you're talking about!" Derek's blue ones glistened angrily as he raised his voice. "you have no business. You don't know anything about me, us and our situation. So stay the hell away. Stay the hell away from _her_"

"I do" She was calmer now and she leant against the doorframe carefully, eyeing him as he was about to take off. "trust me, I know more about you than you'll possibly ever want to admit to"

At first he paused dead in his tracks, panicking the slightest. But then he snorted at her. Funny. She was a crazy wasted person trying desperately to hold onto him. She was pathetic going to great(and false!) lengths like that.

"She told me"

Her next sentence nearly killed him.

"You're not much of a father are you?"

He froze on his spot, sensing her creeping closer.

"I don't blame you" She spoke to his back, "I mean, there could be plenty of reasons…but you can't just shut it down and-"

"You forced it out of her" He choked out resentfully, "she would never tell you that. No way…"

"Does it make you feel better, Doctor Shepherd?" She pressed, "playing make believe?"

"Get the hell out of my face!"

"You want her to trust you, you need her to trust you. And you can't live with the fact that there's this chance she might not so you make up your own perfect image of it" She stalked him determinedly and sped up the pace just when he did so, "but it doesn't change the fact that she told me. Things…you did. Things you probably regret you ever did."

He turned around, so sudden she jolted backwards, surprised with his unforeseen move.

"Go." He sneered, "Away"

"Why am I so intimidating to you? Children tend to confide in me, that's just who I am. So you screwed up and made a mess, but get over yourself. It's not about you anymore. Face your daughter's worries and acknowledge, and appreciate the fact that she's capable of open up about it."

She was skinny but wasn't afraid to block his way,

"I'm gonna suggest something and I really think you should consider it. You need a new nanny, right? Cause that old, overly pedagogic foreigner doesn't quite cover it? I'm free at every night. And Charlotte obviously likes me. And I need the money. Don't get me wrong, I'd be delighted to do it for free, but since I'm saving up for my own place and study loans can only get me this far…I need a job anyway. And my interview sucked. And I love kids. I have a herd of young siblings…" She held her breath,

"I could be Char's new nanny. If you'd let me. Because I'm great. So Doctor Shepherd…hire me. I won't kiss you, or mess with you, ever again. If you hire me."

**You're being too happy, too soon, Mer...**

**;)**


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four: Threatening Skies

_**Hey guys:) **_

_**I know I promised both good and bad heating in this chapter. Unfortunately it will have to wait for the next chapter. But you should trust me when I say it will be Addek heating as well.**_

_**Nuff talk. Read. Review. I love it when you do that. Ohh, yes I do. :D**_

* * *

She could tell someone was approaching her from her spot at the nurse's station where she was filling out her discharge papers. And she could feel this someone grab her arm, hard.

She was forcefully led into a conference room. The door shut close behind them and she turned around to face a female redhead doctor. She could tell from her expression she wasn't much pleased.

"Who are you?" Kate laughed disbelievingly, "and what are you doing?"

Redhead eyed her skeptically and with a frown, "I heard about you. And I've seen you wander the halls of this hospital like you own the place. It was funny, for quite a while, seeing how a random tumor patient was able to put the craziest rumors to life around here. But then you have the nerve to go ahead and involve yourself with my daughter. Which is not funny at all. On top of that, you use some pretty dirty tricks in order to make my ex-husband throw you a job."

"Ex-hus-" Kate blinked, twice, "you're Derek's ex?"

"My point is that you're an awful person"

Kate didn't catch that. "Wow. I mean, wow! Look at you. Why would he divorce you? Oh wait, I think I know…" Disturbance painted Addison's face.

"-but still…you could commit to all crimes and I wouldn't leave you. You're super hot" She stared right at the redhead's sterile, yet threatening face. "in this icecold, arrogant Irish-kinda way"

"I hate you" Addison placed her hands on her hips, not budging any closer, "and I hate Derek. Because you're both mean and calculating people. Actually, when I think about it, the two of you wouldn't be the weirdest thing happening after all, being so much alike."

"How I wish" Kate sighed dreamingly, "is he good in bed? He looks good in bed. And huge…down there. Is he? Huge, I mean. You of all people would know that."

Addison started into her pale green eyes timidly. "I hate you" She repeated for the second time.

"You dragged me in here to tell me that you hate me?"

"No, I dragged you here to make myself clear. I wanted to punch Derek so hard when he told me he'd hired you. I know nothing about you except that you're a crazy ex-patient model girl"

"I'm not a model-" She started but was cut off by Addie already.

"-Who Charlotte happens to like. She's the reason I'm willing to give you one, tiny chance" She was firm, "I expect a damn fine resume on my desk tomorrow and if you make that one, bad decision it's out of here"

"Already got 'em" Kate fished for something in her purse. She showed her professional papers in Addison's hands confidently. "so, when do I start? And where do you guys live? I should expect something major, right?"

Addison snorted. She couldn't be more wrong. "hope you're a girl of the outdoors" She said bluntly.

"Not really" She said honestly, ready to take an address, "so, how far outside suburbia is it?"

"Derek lives in a trailer that is hardly any bigger than a tin can."

"Midlife crisis?" Kate looked up from her phone, "explains the mousy girlfriend"

"Debating his next move" Addison shrugged heartlessly, finding herself adopting a little to the crazy woman's slack attitude, "with the mousy woman"

"Gives 'trailertrash' a whole new definition" She responded quickly, "can't believe he chose the mousy woman"

She caught the redhead staring blankly ahead of her, into the air. Was that a sad twitch going on on her face?

"What about you? Where do you live?"

"The Archfield"

"The hotel?"

"Yes"

A speculative smile crept across her lips. "that's awesome…"

Addison sent her a hasty glare, instantly scaring her intentions off.

"I mean" Kate rambled, "Because it's a hotel. Not that I would ever consider taking advantage of the lux sheets and the pool and order up caviar and champagne…and. Leave. You…to pay. For it all…" Her voice died a little seeing Addison's suspicious face. "never ever. I don't even like caviar. I hate it. I hate it the way you hate me"

"I don't hate you" Addison excused, "not yet. I told you I would give you one tiny chance. But I swear to God, if you do one thing that could possibly result in upsetting or hurt my child in any way…I will kill you with my own two hands."

Kate eyed her down, from head to toe. "Good luck with that. You're not the very big woman"

"Bigger than you are"

"I got bigger boobs" Her eyes descended to her own chest and she grinned triumphantly.

"My point is" Addison's voice elevated again, "do any reckless thing and I will slice your throat. Using the scalpel is what I do best. And if you're not earnest about this…if you're bonding with her only to get closer to Derek…."

"Come on" Kate groaned, "I would never do that"

"So whoever said you have a crush on him would be lying?"

"He's hot to be close to 40, I admit that. But no, no crush. He's got no more than a pretty face. And the skilled surgeon hands. Other than that, he's all dried up with no sense of humor whatsoever."

"You're not a markedly funny person to begin with, Kate" Addison reminded.

"Whatever" She shrugged, "he's too boring for my liking. He should be grateful he's able to produce bright and bubbly children despite all that. Char's so awesome. Adorable and friendly. And I'm really flattered she's quite the fan of me as well."

"If you ever…" Addison warned, again. Kate caught the point and her joyous face fell serious.

"Montgomery, believe me when I say I would never ever do anything that could possibly hurt an innocent child. Never, ever."

* * *

Seattle Grace's new gynecologist placed a monstrous shot of latte in front of Addison as he snuck up behind her.

"Here you go"

She turned on her heels, surprised.

"Nice work in the OR, Doc. Figured you needed some"

"Thank you" She brought the cup to her mouth, giving him a smug smile behind it, "thank you for assisting me"

"So" He was straightforward, all of a sudden, "despite all the crappy decision making Derek lets you put up with, I was wondering if you could afford tonight and have a drink with me"

"I can't" She barely shot him a look and turned to vanish her name from the OR boards. "I have plans already"

"With who?"

"Frankly, that's none of your business"

"Nelson?" He guessed systematically.

Addison gave him a humored but apologetic look. "I'm not telling you"

"It's Nelson" He concluded, "why? What's going on between the two of you?"

"It's not Nelson" She lied like she was the expert, "and nothing is going on! You are you being so annoying?"

His pager went off and he reluctantly answered to it. He bowed his head as he walked towards the ER, accepting his broken attempt.

* * *

The neurosurgical wing was a particularly quiet spot this day and Noah decided to drop by on his lunch break. He found Derek instantly.

"Drinks after work?"

"You're supposed to ask Addison out, not me" He ridiculed.

"She has plans already. I tried"

"With who?" Derek gave up his charting for a moment, offering his new pal a seconds worth of attention. "Nelson?"

"I don't know. She told me it wasn't"

"It is Nelson" Derek was without a doubt, "where?"

"Joe's, I assume"

"You know what" An idea formed in his mind and his eyes glistened excitedly,

Watching Addison and Nelson on a date would surely be the entertainment highlight of his day. "Change in plans, I'll join you"

* * *

"Ha! I knew it" Joe's was crowded despite the facts that it was Wednesday and no later than 20.30. Noah and Derek occupied two seats in front of the bar so they would have perfect sight to the entrance door whenever the lovebirds decided to make their appearance known.

Derek gloated and hit his glass of scotch with Noah's.

"I knew she was lying to you and I knew they would come here. I know my ex-wife better than she knows herself"

He led Noah to look at the door. There they were. Nelson in his mousy, yet hideously expensive suit, he was a well-off surgeon, after all, and Addison in a black bossy coat and her trademark Blahnik patents. Noah raised a hand and Derek showed off a disturbingly broad and toothy smile, letting them all see the fakeness in it. Addison looked ready to collapse on her spot and her cheeks signaled a stressing shade of red. She was blocking them out of her eyesight using one hand as she followed Nelson's tracks inside the bar.

"As much as I enjoy this" Derek grinned, "you have to do something. Go over there" An hour had passed and Derek couldn't possibly control his laugh when spying on the redhead and her slightly strange pick of fella.

She'd noticed his mocking face expression and made sure to send angry looks across the bar, at him.

"Can't do that. I don't break into conversations like that. It's rude. And besides, looks like she has quite the good time anyway"

"She's not" Looking over at her, he could understand why he would think so. She was all smiles and he could hear her clear laugh from the other side of the room. Her ponytail swayed the slightest and she was busy pulling an olive off her cocktail stick, her eyes on Nelson while doing so. But seriously? It couldn't be right. She would never date someone like him.

"You can. Tell her there's an emergency at the hospital"

"There is no emergency at the hospital" Noah shut back.

"I don't care what you say, just make her leave with you"

"And if I don't?"

"It's bye, bye baseball match" Derek grinned, knowing that Noah would have a hard time kissing his exclusive tickets off. Struggle washed his face as he put his empty glass down.

"Fine. But you're a sick man. A sick, crazy man. You should go ahead and marry you're almost-as sick and crazy ex-patient babysitter. You'd make a lovely couple"

He felt utterly awkward approaching the two who seemed completely lost in conversation, oblivious to the people around. He was 3 feet away from them before they even bothered looking to their side.

"Hey" He greeted optimistically, "you guys having a good time?"

"Er, yeah" Both answered, aloof. Addison squinted up at him and put her glass down, impatiently telling him off with her eyes. "Can we help you with something?"

"Actually, yes. I just received a call. From the hospital" He wasn't telling the truth, "about a highly sensitive case. Admitted an hour ago. They requested an OB- surgeon"

"You are an OB-surgeon" She waited, oblivious.

"A female OB-surgeon" He played on his lie, "I know, it's complicated. The patient is…well, it's complicated."

"Then page Murphy"

"Out of town"

"Watts?"

"Flu season knocked her over"

"Wish I could tuck in, stay at home and lean on that excuse every once in a decade" She muttered unhappily, grabbing her bag. She turned to Nelson. "I'm sorry"

"Life as a surgeon" He bucked up, raising his glass as to cheer.

"Enjoying every minute of it" Addison breathed and took off, Noah in tow. He could see Derek mouth a 'good job' at him the second he passed.

* * *

"Seriously?" Addison stood in the center of the nearly empty hospital cafeteria, gesturing dejectedly. "This is the highly urgent case?"

"Yep" Noah brought up a champagne bottle, stealing two papers cups from the coffee cart. "can't risk this baby losing cold" He poured them full. "if I had more time I'd make more of it. Take you out on dinner. Guess I felt like being spontaneous and when I saw you and Nelson…"

"Seriously? This is about Nelson? You're jealous at him?"

"Not at all"

"You lied about this patient so I would go to the hospital with you."

"Right" He didn't seem affected.

"You know" She put her cup down, "I should go. You obviously don't need me, surgical wise. And this is stupid"

"Come one" He coaxed, "have a glass with me"

"'Glass?' You offer me champagne poured into coffee containers. Why don't we just drink straight from the bottle?"

"If you prefer so-"

"I don't! This is so…"

"Accept the champagne. Have the champagne. Be grateful for the champagne."

"You wrecked my night out"

"We can make this a night out of our own"

"I'm going-"

"Come on! Hang out with me a bit"

"See you tomorrow…"

"Addison Forbes Montgomery…" She heard him mutter on her way out, "sounds familiar…you don't happen to be related to Captain Montgomery, do you?"

Instantly, she turned on her heel and he knew it'd caused some effect. Her attention was drawn towards him again.

"You know the Captain?"

"Not really, but I've heard only great things about him. Extremely talented man according to many"

"He's my father actually!"

_You don't say…_

"Really?" He faked a surprised wow. "I would never guess. How is he, still going strong?"

"He lectures, mostly. And he's cutting back on his work hours. Taking some time off"

"Yeah, I heard he's found his spot at the golf court."

"Mhm" She nodded, silently accepting his proposal about not leaving and she took a long sip of champagne, smiling. "you know who my father is. That's so nice. It's not like he's a pioneer or anything."

"But you are. He's gotta be so proud of you. You are outstanding. How did you get that…far?"

She was blushing involuntarily but was not going to fall flat, although she was flattered.

"I'm not going out with you"

A toothy smile was shown on his face. "What makes you think I want to go out with you?"

"You don't want to go out with me?"

"I do"

"You just insinuated-"

"I would love to go out with you"

"If I say yes, I will not kiss you. Just making it clear"

"I won't kiss you either. I'm divorced"

"Missing your ex-wife?"

"Yes. Don't you miss Derek?"

"No"

"Oh. I don't miss Morgan either"

"You just said!-"

"I was messing with your head. I would love to kiss you. But I'll be the decent guy and not make the first move. If you decide to kiss me on the other hand, I won't hesitate…" He blinked, secretive. "that's all I'm saying…"

"That's all you're saying?"

"That's all I'm saying…"

Bubbles of alcohol sparked her flushed face and he moved closer, just begging her to do the next move. She looked at him. He wasn't the dreamiest guy on the planet and he could be a terrible lover for all she knew, but she was single, free and a little bit tipsy. What stopped her from trying him out a little? She wouldn't go as far as sex, but…

Before she knew it she'd already planted a liquidly kiss on his lips. She smirked as she pulled away. At least it wasn't bad.

Soon, he followed up. Her amazing lips ducked under his for another minute. He held them there as he intensified the smooch a little. He would not let go until she did. It felt too good.


	25. Chapter 25: Dream A Little Dream Of Me

**_Hey again! Thank you for your amazing reviews, as always._**

**_I hope you're up for a steamy Addek scene and MerDer taking a turn for the worse. I promise, it won't take too long before Red&Der hit it off again. This teasing, little flirtish thing going on between them AoN is definitely not random. _**

**_So. I had some wine when writing the sex part. I probably wouldn't have written it otherwise. Well, I guess I would, who am I fooling, I'm a pervy person. But I'm gonna pretend anyway. I should warn you. It's . dirty and coarse. So if you're particularly young or a little squeamish I suggest you skip part 1._**

**_ And to you who are voting for Derek catching Noah and Addie kissing: Oh, he will. In the next chap._**

**_Nuff talk now : )_**

* * *

_Addison moaned. She was standing on her knees in the middle of their capacious bed with her legs spread wide. She was already pantyless and Derek was busily working on getting rid of her bra as well. One flick of his finger and it fell off, leaving her completely bared._

_He toyed her puffy clit, using two solid fingers and pressed his lips to her sweat neck, murmuring sexily. "You like that?..."_

_"Yeah, yeah, Derek, ooooh…" She shivered in his firm grip._

_"…or if I move a little upwards?" He explored towards her ultra sensitive g-spot, firmly tickling the area. Her breath stuck and she let herself cave in, knowing he would hold her tight._

_"Oh… God" She mewed gratefully, resting her hand upon Derek's who had it securely placed on her waist. They rocked back and worth, in sync, as he continuously finger fucked her. She was getting wetter with each thrust and he licked them clean. She had such a sugary pussy. It reminded him of vanilla. And ripe peaches, although he'd favor her cunt at any time._

_Addison shook her head, tossing her hair in every angle and wriggled uncontrollably on her spot. Derek sped up the pace and rapidly rubbed three fingers against her erotic flesh. She was full but craved more. His gorgeous boner that could penetrate her with all his love, all day long. Pushing her further, completely leaving her exhausted and happy with his fresh ejaculation still sizzling in her tight twat._

_"Yeah…" He whispered as he laid her down on her back and crawled on top, "guess you liked that…" He spread her legs wide and repositioned his face in between, still craving the dessert taste of her. "let me eat you…"_

_"Ohh…Derek…it feels so…" She tried between labored breaths, her chest rising and falling repeatedly while doing do. Her breasts made two gloriously small mountaintops, "…good"_

_He adored the curves on her chest. "squeeze your tits, honey. Let me see if you can get those nipples harden as fast as I do"_

_Being the obedient wife on his, she covered her breasts in her hands, kneading them gently. She was even gentler when she pinned each bud between her fingers._

_"Let me see you tug on them a little. Yeah, just like that" He encouraged her trying to copy his way with her titty tops. "How does it feel?"_

_"Okay, I guess"_

_"better than when I do it?"_

_"No. Not at all"_

_"It's better when I do it?"_

_"Y-yes…"_

_"Tell me to play with your titties, Addison"_

_"Play with my…" She was more than okay with Derek being firm in bed, "…titties…Derek…"_

_"Your wish…" He put a throaty laugh to life and crept closer. He shut his hungry mouth around her right nipple, sucking down on it, drenching it in his saliva. The left he grabbed between his thumb and his index finger, rolling the perfect little shape between it._

_He made sure to take his time caressing them before changing to a slightly rougher treatment. He pinched each one gently and then a little harder, all the time watching Addison's facial reactions._

_She squirmed and stroked his cheek, stirring a little when he suddenly spanked one breast. Its natural firmness jolted a little in response. He hit it once more and pulled her nipple from her breast ever so slightly until she almost whined. Her kissed her lips sloppily, still holding one bud captured. He squeezed and released, squeezed and released, forcing moans and gasps from her._

_"How does that feel honey? Tell me how it feels…"_

_"Good. And a little harsh" She panted, "it tickles. You're making my pussy tickle"_

_"Damn it, Addie, I LOVE when you talk like that" He let his head crash on her chest, scraping his modest stubbles against her ablaze nipples while his hand made his way in between her legs again, on reflex. Discourteously, he reentered her using two fingers. He used them to slide her pussy lips apart, exposing the rosy flesh to his eager tongue. He lapped her frantically, inducing high cries of pleasure from her part. The exquisite shot of sugar was back on his tongue as he licked her clean. He pushed his mouth upon her pussy as he kept her legs apart. Her rapt clit pulsated against his cheeky tongue ravenously, constantly begging another lick._

_"Uhh-emm…" Pleasure made her body spasm hard "Derek!" He sucked her harder and she wanted to cry it from the rooftops, "I'm so wet…Derek, I'm so wet!"_

_"Yeah, you are" He couldn't possibly disagree on that, "God, Addie, you are the wettest, dirtiest girl I've come across. So dirty…I'm the luckiest guy"_

_She smiled up at him as she regained control of her breathing. "Derek…" She proffered naughtily, "I want you in my mouth"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Yeah" She sprawled herself on her stomach and snuck in between his thighs. His throbbing treat was eagerly waiting her there. She fisted it gratefully and Derek threw his head back. She arched her back and sat on her knees, slowly rocking her teaser ass. She would never grow tired of this, serving herself to his mighty shaft and washing down the salty love shots of his ejaculation, letting it flavor her warm throat._

_She took all his length in one go, her husband groaning in appreciation. It was a great mystery to her, how he could be all demandingly huge and steel hard, and soft and innocently fleshy at once. She squeezed his fierce balls while giving him head. She mouthed him wetly and kept his jewels in between her lips while doing so. Derek threw his legs around her back, smoothly scraping his heels against her back, down her spine and to her ass. He massaged her plush buttocks with his feet, his groans growing louder as she intensified her blow work._

_She bit it gently and it felt amazing against his swollen cock. It tickled and grazed him delightfully. He grabbed her hair and slapped his feet against her butt. Addison swallowed his sticky loads fearlessly._

_"Addie…" His voice was raspy from the immense sex. "you want me to fuck you now? Huh? All good 'n deep?"_

_She had to let him go from her mouth in order to reply to his enticing offer. She blushed and shivered like a shy little schoolgirl. "yes! Derek, please. Please!"_

_He rolled her over so that she was left in a horizontal position, back facing the sheets. She reached for the pillows to give her a much soft support. Derek held his aching dick, guiding it in just the right position for its warm and waiting favorite cave. He pressed the tip of his cockhead through her slit, both moaning as he went, then breaking in completely, using his whole length, instantly hitting her at just the right spot._

_"Faster, faster!" She jubilated, throwing her lean legs into the air as he filled her pussy full. Violent shots of fresh seminal fluids were sent through her channel. He pumped her harder, and faster, his mind set on working his way all in and out of her. He withdraw from her pussy the second he felt another load building up and force through, his cock springing into free air to splutter showers of seed on her stomach. This was his way of making her his. She smiled at him, her eyes glistening green. She was covered with him and she loved it. She traced her stomach with a finger, lapping the tip of it. The salty taste of him was everywhere on her. She touched his lips with it, demanding a kiss. Derek pushed his tongue through as Addison worked on getting him down. He sprawled out onto the sheets, his wife climbing on top. Now she was in control…_

_She sat on his dick, ready for the ride. Derek groped her ass cheek with a hand, his other planted on the side of her right thigh, making sure she was in perfect position. Her ass rose, and fell, with her moves and Derek had to close his eyes. She was taking him to heaven. Again._

_She sped up a little, feeling her pussy and his dick growing perfectly comfortable together as one, erotically intertwined like this. Her trembling tits were a feast to his eyes. They danced, and swayed before him, entrancing him sweetly. He could die like this and he would be forever satisfied._

_Addison rode him rapidly now. Her tits were jumping with the frantic jolts and her pussy acted like an open drain, constantly leaking._

_"Give me a kiss, wife" He demanded through a blissful murmur. She bent down, his dick still happily situated inside her narrow walls. They made out hungrily. Derek rolled over her, reclaiming his position at the top. She panted wildly with his moves, making his cock shifting a little inside her. They were on round three and he pumped her tirelessly. Addison grasped the headboards and let her body toss weightlessly from side to side as he filled her full. Sweat glistened on his forehead, his stout chest and his stomach. Addison had tears of hard work as well, all the hair in the back of her neck was sticky and damp, and the tip of her nose was cutely sweaty. Derek kissed it lovingly as he pulled out of her moments later. She grabbed his mastery shoulders, both working on getting their breathing even. Her pussy wept, being deserted by his vivid cock and a final load of the couple's ejaculations drained spots on the sheets._

_"Oh God…" She bumbled. "That was…Derek…Thank you"_

_He chuckled, bringing one hand to his chest and letting the other one pet her breast. "are we done yet?"_

_"are you serious?"_

_"I'm up for another round"_

_"I'm exhausted"_

_"That's okay, I'll be on top. You just lay there…" He grinned sheepishly, "and enjoy…"_

_"You're always on top!"_

_"Need to be in control of my outrageous wife"_

_"Ha,ha" She slapped his arm and rolled back on top. He pinched her nipple in return, making her squeal._

_"I mean it, you're such a bad wife" He wasn't going to let her order him around without a decent fight. He pushed her backwards so she fell upon the soft mattress. She was pinned underneath his athletic built but she knew how to sneak back to the top._

_"I'm so not letting you stay there" Derek warned as she repositioned herself, throwing one leg on each side of his waist._

_"I'm perfectly fine right here" Addison giggled. He pulled her down and she wrestled her way back up. Getting a tighter hold on her he was able to prison her under his weight. He kissed her deeply and she couldn't resist. They whirled over and backwards, locked in each other's arms. He had her thighs trapped between his, rolling with her to his side of the bed. Both had given up fighting for the bossy position now. Derek rolled them over again, dangerously close to hit the end and fall off._

Addison, still in deep sleep and mentally a little too present, stirred, moaned and rolled to her left. She shouldn't have.

Cause in the next second she found herself hit the floor, crushing her shoulder with her top weight and she cried out in pain. The brutal crash made so much noise she was sure it had woken the entire fifth floor at the Archfield up.

A group of tears rolled from her face as she brought herself up real gently. She caressed her hurting shoulder soothingly.

It hurt. It hurt like hell.

* * *

Addison's pertinacious moans attracted the attention of several faces as she trotted the hallways, exhausted. The glam, impeccable woman they had gotten so used to by now had vanished for the day. She wore her scrubs and a pair of crocs, no signs of makeup on her face.

She slackened down as she joined Miranda at the nurse desk. The short doctor shot her tormented face a suspicious look.

"What's wrong with you?"

…sex…" She reached for a pen, speaking through gritted teeth "…Derek…"

"You slept together?!"

"No! Not…now. I dreamt that we were having sex. Hot sex. But the weird thing is…we actually had the exact same kind of sex I dreamed of, ten years ago. It was so creepy. And so real…" She parted her lips, fixed on the matter, "it was so real I started moving around in my sleep and I fell out of bed. Charlotte woke up, curious about all the noise. She wondered why the elephant was wrestling the floor" She stroke her poor shoulder, "it hurts when I move it. You know where Callie is?"

Miranda made wide eyes, stunned. "You went out with Nelson…then you kissed Barnes…And then you're having perverted dreams about Shepherd, all in one night?"

"It's not like I can control my dreams!" She held a finger up at her, "hang on a minute. How did you know I kissed Noah?"

"Olivia and Stevens"

Addison sighed hopelessly.

"So what did you tell Charlotte?"

"That I had a bad dream"

Miranda made a face.

"What? It's true. It was a _bad_ one. What'd you expect me to tell my five-year old?" She was whispering and hissing at once, "That I dreamt about giving her father head?"

Bailey's hands hit her ears, "too much information Addison!"

"You gave Derek head last night?" Noah suddenly appeared next to them, apparently from nowhere, grabbing only one part of her sentence, "after our date? I'm so jealous. And sad. I feel like you're cheating on me"

"Of course not!" Addison sizzed, "it was a dream. And last night was definitely not a date"

"I would have to disagree with you" He blinked contentedly, and for a swift second, he reminded her of Derek by the way he acted. Addison uttered a hysteric, pain-struck shriek as he slapped her shoulder, completely unaware.

"What?" Worry ruled his voice.

"Injured shoulder" Bailey hinted. "That foolish girl rolled outta bed last night"

"You okay?" He was much gentler now.

"No" Red whined, "I want Callie. It's probably dislocated. Or even fractured"

"Torres is on the FOP case" Noah informed, "will probably stay in the OR for the next eight hours. You need an ex-ray? I'll come with you. I spent pretty much every day during my first year in ortho"

"I don't know" Addison debated suspiciously, "you're not an orthopedic doctor"

"Addison, come on. What are you afraid of? I know a standard fracture when I see one. Promise I won't bite. Or even kiss you."

He offered her a literally helping hand. After a minute of hesitation, she accepted it.

* * *

"So it's definitely not broken" He held the scan results up in front of her, "or dislocated. I would guess a sprain, simply as that. A dislocation would anyhow, show on a scan."

Noah went to her side to gently examine her shoulder, "joints are at the right place. But it's swollen and badly bruised so I suggest you keep it slinged for the next few days. You need any drugs?"

"Give me the hardcore ibuprofen and I'll be out of here" She sighed, "it feels like a lot more than a sprain. What about my surgeries today? there's the vulvectomy in 1254…Who's gonna cover for me?"

"The person you're talking about" Noah assumed, "stands right here"

"Right" Addison chuckled, "for a moment I suspected you to be one of those ortho guys"

"You're mean"

"I am. But seriously, you do not get to gloat about this. Only reason you get this surgery is because of my…very temporary disability. You should not believe, for even a second that you earned this"

"Care to remind you, I am an attending you know"

"I'm still your boss" She changed position on the exam table, trying all she could to silence her cry. Damn it, her entire arm felt all beaten up. Noah threw her the painkillers and smiled. "you want me to kiss it better?"

"Don't go there" She groaned, telling him off, "just go get the slings, please"

Suddenly the door flew open. And who else could it possibly be? She rolled her eyes. It was Derek who entered.

He looked from Addison to Noah. "What are you guys doing here? This room is supposed to be free. My patient needs it in an hour"

"Addison's dying" Noah mocked, "I'm in charge of her palliative treatments."

"you funny little guy" She teased back, "I would never give up on my sparkly surgeries without a real fight"

"Seriously, what's going on?" Derek quizzed, turning to Addison, "you look like crap"

"My shoulder was in labor last night. That's why I look like crap. Kept me up all night"

"Speaking of labor" Derek started, with a grin, "I remember that face. From five years back"

Addison's face tensed. "That is so mean! I gave birth to your child! You should be relieved you're saying this _now_ and back then. I would've killed you if you did"

"I was joking" He assured, "But seriously, you look bad. What happened?"

"I fell out of bed"

"How is that even possible?"

"Bad dream"

"About what?" Noah and Derek uttered in unison, obliviously cornering her.

"Er…bad things"

"Were you being stalked by vampires?" Derek pressed, "or did you fall asleep during surgery? Did Archer die of a heart attack? Would be more like a dream come true though"

Noah caught notice of her red cheeks, "was it literally a bad dream? Like a really _bad_ dream?"

"Go get the slings!" Addison yelped desperately. He read her too well and thanks to him, the naughty acts kept creeping back in her head. It was particularly difficult on her as the man in her very substantial dream was standing by her side. Her face was burning with humiliation.

"Going" He nodded at Derek, "You stay here and rub her in all the right places"

Addison grimaced and Derek cleared his throat awkwardly, "Uhm,I'm sorry, what?"

"You're taking things too literally. Injured shoulder? Put a gentle pressure on it. A massage or something. At least it won't hurt"

"What? No, no, no, no" Addison denied, "Derek's not-" He shut the door in her face, cutting her off.

Derek went to her side, picked up the ex-ray scan, threw a hasty look at it and put his palm on her shoulder. She wrenched to the opposite side.

"stop doing that"

"do what?"

"take your hands off my articulatio humeri"

"You make it sound like a dirty thing" He perked up, "so, tell me about your bad dream"

"It was more of a nightmare actually"

"So it involved Nelson then"

"You're such an unsavoury person" She bit back at him.

"I heard you never got the chance to finish your date"

"It was not a date!"

"Cause Noah broke in. What did you do?"

"None of your business"

"Did you have sex?"

"No!"

"So you slept with Nelson"

"What is your problem Derek! Of course not! Ouch!" She cursed in pain once Derek's fingers started working on a particularly sore spot, "why do you have to be so harsh?"

"Fighting fire with fire is the best treatment I say" He shrugged her off, "tell me 'bout the dream"

Oh no. This was not happening.

Bits and pieces from their hardcore night were put on replay on her mind.

"_I wanna eat your dirty little twat…"_

"_Cum for me…"_

"_I'm so wet…you're making me so, so hot…"_

She blinked frantically, trying desperately to get rid of the overwhelming flashback. The fact that he had his warm hands on her shoulder didn't help her out a whole lot. Frankly, she felt herself strangely enjoying this. She groaned in relief. He was such a brilliant masseuse, no way she would deny that.

"_I wanna be inside you forever…"_

"_Derek, you're so big…So, so big…"_

Oh no. No, no!

"_Screw me…"_

"_You're such a dirty girl…"_

"_You need a good, old spanking…"_

She was about to burst it when she saw the skinny blonde outside. She was so relieved to see Meredith's aghast face. She couldn't handle another second of Derek right now and this was the perfect excuse to let him go.

"Look!" She yelled, "your girlfriend's waiting for you. You should go out there. Now. Go, go, go"

Derek looked at the two women, from Addison to Meredith and back, at a loss.

He left the room and sprang up beside her. Meredith was halfway down the hall already and he hurried up to catch her. "Mer. Meredith! Wait"

"You've officially reached a new low, congratulations" She uttered bitterly.

"Meredith, it's not what it looks like" He instantly regretted using those words. It was not like she had ever caught him red-handed, doing steamy stuff with his ex-wife.

"You're hovering over her! And you touch her!"

"She hurt her arm. I was just offering-"

"First you kiss your patient, then you hire your patient and now you're feeling sad little She-Shepherd up? What the hell is wrong with you! you want to break up with me? Then say it to my face damn it! This is so cowardly and pathetic!"

"I though we've gotten this right by now" He sighed, "_She _kissed me, I didn't kiss her"

"Say it" She bitched, "just say it"

"I am not breaking up with you. Of course I'm not."

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

"Seriously! What's going on? There's something you're not telling me. You cancelled our date to go to Joe's with Noah Barnes and you left me completely in the dark about hiring the crazy girl"

"The crazy girl?" He broke in, "she has a name"

"I don't care. If you're cheating on me-"

"Meredith." He locked his eyes with hers, telling her honestly, "I am not cheating on you."

"Then what is going on?"

"Nothing. Nothing is going on"

"At least you should _try_ to sound convincing. I don't believe you. I don't even know if I can trust you, Derek"

"Of course you can"

"How? You leave people behind. At least you used to"

Her very fierce words stabbed him emotionally, over and over. She instantly regretted it when meeting with his miserable eyes. He looked to the ground and nodded. After a quiet minute he choked out his words.

"Thank you for reminding me"

"Derek, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" She apologized through a ramble. God, she was such a mess. She had no business doing that.

She grabbed him by his elbow, gently, "I'm such a rambler and it's not even true…"

"It is true" He shot her one last look before walking out on her, "I know it and you know it. Everyone knows it"

* * *

Derek was waiting for her outside OR 2. He'd just completed a surgery of his own, explaining why he was standing in his surgical attire. Apparently, all the nurses loved his blessed hair even more now as it was tamed underneath his ferryboat cap. It was the God thing, he assumed. The impression you make when you devote your life to lifesaving.

Nelson passed him on his way out, having let Meredith scrub in on a surgery. He barely shot him a look and Derek was too tired to make silly remarks.

A second later she came out and he sighed.

"Meredith, I need to talk to you"

"Hey" She said in surprise, "Derek, I'm so sorry about what I said-"

He nodded. "You got me thinking though"

"About what?"

"Am I expecting too much from you?"

"What-"

"You haven't done this before" His hand went to reach for hers but he decided it was best to leave it. "And I've been doing this for a long time. And I haven't figured everything out yet. My life is so complicated, Meredith. Hell, I don't even know what Addison's thinking. If she's planning on actually staying here. I keep telling myself that it's fine and that she loves it here. I don't know that. Cause I'm afraid that when I ask I'm not gonna get the answer I want. So I keep putting everything off so I won't have to face that. And I can't keep going like that" He took a break,

"I know you don't trust me, it's obvious you don't. So on top of everything else, I constantly worry. About you, and how you're going to react to everything I do. It feels like you constantly watch me. And it's exhausting. For both of us"

"Why are you making this about me?" Her voice had an angrier turn now.

"I'm saying that if you're not into this anymore…if this is too much for you…if you want to go, I'm letting you go"

"You're breaking up with me" Her throat was dry.

"No" He shook his head, "I'm not breaking up with you. I'm giving you an out"

"I can deal with this, like I've told you multiple times. I'm dealing just fine."

"Okay" He forced a modest smile.

"Okay, then"

"Still, for what it's worth, I think we should spend some time apart"

Her face fell again. "Why? So you can date other people?"

"No" He frowned and rubbed his chin, "of course not! I need some time to think. Not about us, about everything. And having you there complicates that"

"I can't believe this. Few days ago you were talking about buying us a house and now you're breaking up with me"

"I'm not breaking up with you" He repeated tiredly, "I'm asking for some time alone. If I could have you at an arm's length for a little while…that'd be great"

"Unbelievable" She shook her head, disbelieving, "you're unbelievable."


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six: Wake Me Up

**Here comes a little shortie chappie : ) Kind of a filler but still. **

**I didn't beta this so pardon me if it's packed with hideous errors and weird looking letters. **

**Uni's back for real but I'm pretty sure I'll be able to post regular chapters anyway. I'm a commuter and I spend way too much time on the train, ha ha. Writing this is the perfect way to make the hours go by faster.**

**Your reviews makes me so happy, you're all so superübercute!**

* * *

"Good?" Noah fed her a tuna maki roll. Addison munched on it thoughfully.

"Mhm. I have tried sushi before, you know. I've lived in New York my entire adult life"

"But you have never tried Jirou's. Good friend of mine. Delivers the best sushi in town."

They sat on the seats in the empty OR gallery. Addison had proudly watched Noah perform her surgery with efficiency and the greatest level of expertise. So she'd suggested dinner and he'd called for his favorite.

"Decent" She concluded while finishing her last piece, "it's decent"

Noah nodded, his mouth full, holding up his bottle of coke. "I like that you're favoring me, Doctor Montgomery" He teased once he was done, "it's something I can definitely live with"

"I don't favor you" She made aware, "but you did good today"

"You do favor me" He grinned, "you're eating dinner with me, you're kissing me, you let me take care of your hurt shoulder- how is the hurt shoulder doing by the way?" He caressed it.

"It's getting there. Little sore but that's pretty much it"

Noah leaned in closer and brushed her velvety hair away. Addison stirred a little once he pressed his lips on her neck, working down towards her collar bone and upon her shoulder.

"Does this make things a little less sore?"

"Noah…" She growled, although her voice wasn't really angry. She looked towards the door, just to make sure no one was actually there. "Not…here…"

"Are we keeping this a secret?"

"It's not like we…" She felt her breath hitch once his soft stubbles started to tickle her neck, "Have anything to hide…"

"Well, you like this"

"I do" She did enjoy his lips on her neck. It'd been months since last time she felt a man on her.

Months since…Mark.

"We could get an on-call room" He suggested, feeling free to kiss her lips.

"No, this is…nice" She rested his hand on his lower arm as they made out shyly. "I'm not having sex with you"

"We're kissing" Redhead was laying down the law and all he had to do was surrender to her wish, "just kissing"

"Just kissing" She echoed with a smile.

"Sneaking around and kissing"

"Sneaking around and kissing"

* * *

_Derek woke up to see Addison sitting on their bedside, back facing him, buttoning up her shirt. He groaned as he sat up and stroked her back lazily._

_"Morning"_

_"You're awake" She turned to face him with a smile. God, she was breathtaking in a state like this. Although she'd showered and done her makeup she still had that post-sex glow all over her. His eyes wandered to her full breasts that were sculpted perfectly behind her bra. He undid a button suggestively._

_"Last night was amazing"_

_"Mhm" She agreed through a suppressed giggle, "you wore me out"_

_"You wore me out" He teased, "why don't you come back here and I'll let you wear me out some more?"_

_She patted his chest and lent over to get her watch at the nightstand. "You know I can't do that. I have to be at work at ten"_

_"That's not for another hour"_

_"What about you?" She tightened the strap around her wrist, "day off?"_

_"Yeah. What am I supposed to do alone all day?"_

_"Enjoy yourself. And I'd be real nice if you could get some laundry done"_

_"I don't know how to"_

_"You don't know how to do laundry?"_

_"I don't know how to enjoy myself. I'm so used to you doing all the work down there" He grinned naughtily._

_"Trust me, love, you know. It's like riding a bike. Once learned…"_

_"Join me" He tossed the bed covers aside, "look, I'm all naked and waiting for you"_

_"Tempting" She eyed his eager penis hotly, "But seriously. I have to go"_

_She closed her blouse and got up and grabbed the bottle of water on her nightstand, scanning the room, confused._

_"Derek, have you seen my pills?"_

_"What kind?"_

_"You know what kind. My COCP"_

_"I flushed them down the toilet"_

_"Derek, seriously. Give them to me"_

_"I am serious" He mocked her, "that was just another step in my evil "knocking-you-up" plan"_

_She held her hands out. "Give them to me"_

_He searched for something inside his pillowcase and threw her the birth control tray. She grabbed it and swallowed with a sip of water._

_He watched her with slight dismay. "You know, a baby would be amazing"_

_"It would. In a few years"_

_"Why not now?"_

_"We talked about this. We agreed to wait a while remember?"_

_"That was a long time ago. Maybe I changed my mind"_

_"We're not even thirty"_

_"You know, if you're gonna keep me waiting for much longer I might knock up some random woman" He threatened teasingly._

_"That one's not gonna work on me" She zipped her boots and let herself fall back down next to him, "You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't knock anyone up but me"_

_"You're right" He gave in with a kiss, "I love you."_

_"I love you too" She kept their lips intertwined for another second, "enjoy your day off. I'd love it if you got some chores done"_

_"Will do" He scratched her back affectionately, "when you're gonna be home?"_

_"'Round eight"_

_"I'll make you dinner. And wine"_

_"That'd be nice" She pecked his lips, "you'd make an amazing stay-at-home dad"_

_He nudged her aside, playing offended and she giggled heartedly._

_"Mean" He huffed, "you should go."_

_"Did I hurt your pride? Aww, you're adorable when you're offended"_

_"Go. Or I'll keep you hostage in bed. Then you wouldn't be able to crack mean jokes 'cause I would do dirty things to you all day"_

_"Going" She blew him a kiss on her way out. Her tight jeans did justice to her amazing butt. Derek felt his dick pop back up keenly._

_"Nice ass" He called after her, finding himself rubbing against his rock hard pole subconsciously._

_"You be a good boy and you'll get some of it tonight" He heard her take a sexy oath before she shut the entrance door behind her._

_He looked down at his little Derek that wasn't very little anymore. She was such a tease. **Such a tease.**_

Derek woke with a jolt and a bright groan. What the hell..?

He turned to his side to see the alarm clock telling him 04.00 AM. It was literally dark as night. He turned on a bedside lamp and sat up on his aching groin. He threw the covers aside. He felt so…weird.

Oh no.

He had dreams about his mischievous ex-wife and woke up with a monstrous hard-on?

He so needed a cold shower. To clear his mind, his body and finish up what was literally about to come …down there…

* * *

Derek rubbed his chin, lost in thought as he entered the elevator, bumping right into Miranda who welcomed him with a scornful frown.

"Just when I thought my day was improving" He muttered, reaching for his saline drops so he could souse his dry and tired eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" She jeered.

"Didn't get much sleep last night"

"How come?"

"Had this strange dream-"

"About Addison?"

"What? Why? Why do you- why are you asking that?" His clumsy response revealed it all and Miranda smiled to herself, contented.

"I'm Doctor Bailey. I see everything, I hear everything, I know everything"

"No you don't. All you know is rumors."

"You broke up with my intern"

"I didn't break up with her. We're taking a break. Giving each other space. It's a good thing, you know, that way Meredith can grow…and evolve with her task. Focus solely on her job."

"Who do you think you're fooling?" She quizzed, "you say that to make yourself feel better. Is this about Addison?"

"Why would it be about Addison?"

"So you haven't talked to her?"

"About what?" He was growing impatient now.

"Nothing"

"You're lying" He scowled at her, "you and Addison are talking about me behind my back aren't you? You're some kind of best buds now?"

"We are"

"About what?"

"You would have to figure out for yourself"

"Actually I don't care" He snorted amusedly.

"You would if you knew"

"Now you're just teasing me"

"I'm not" She vowed, "So, you want me to pick up Charlotte today? She wanted to hang out with Tuck, and he obviously admires her. It's fine by Addison"

"No, I don't want you to pick up Charlotte today" He echoed dismissively.

"Why not?"

"Because you're mean. I don't want my child to be around mean people"

"To you, and to Addison occasionally, not to her" Miranda differed, "I adore Charlotte. That poor girl didn't ask to be brought into world by two mentally challenged people"

"See!" Derek whined, "mean! I'm not mentally challenged!"

"I'm not so sure about that"

"I'm not letting you pick up Char" He crossed his arms over his chest, "unless…"

Miranda sensed his hidden agenda. "What?" She barked.

"Unless you tell me what Addison said about me"

"It doesn't matter"

"Tell me or I won't let Char hang out with you"

"You're bringing her into this blackmailing attempt of yours" She stated sarcastically, "you're such a pro"

"Okay then" Derek said once the elevator doors flew open, "how are you gonna break this to little Tuck? You get his hopes up and now you have to crush them, because you're too stubborn to dish the dirt of my ex-wife. You're a meanie mom, Miranda"

She bit her lip, talking in such hurry she was sure he wouldn't hear a thing, "Addisonshavingdirtydirtydreamsaboutyou"

* * *

"Can I sleepover? Please, please, please!" Charlotte jumped up and down, full of hopes. She was standing in the hospital lobby with Derek, all dressed and ready to spend the evening at the Bailey-Jones household as Addison and Derek were both on call till late. Miranda had gladly offered before they even got the change to reach for Kate.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Miranda has to be back at the hospital really early tomorrow morning. And I'll leave around eight and I'll come pick you up. Okay?"

"Please" Her face fell, attempting one last time. She tugged on his labcoat pocket sadly. "Daddy, please…"

"It's completely fine by me" Miranda appeared, having changed out of her signature scrubs, "she will probably tire out before you arrive anyway. Why wake her up and put her to bed again? She needs all the sleep she can get"

Charlotte nodded eagerly, easily taking Miranda's side.

Derek knew he was about to give in. He bent down to Charlotte. "If you misbehave…"

"Relax" Bailey snapped, "She's not you. Apples tend to fall pretty far from the tree from time to time"

"What's that suppose to mean?" He looked offended, "I don't misbehave"

"Daddy's misbehaving?" Char turned to Miranda with a toothy smile.

"Like you wouldn't believe" Careful not to reveal too much, she ruffled the little brunette's curls.

"Is this about the Addison thing again?" He lowered his voice, "what did she say, exactly?"

"You talk to her about that" She dismissed, "we should get going. You ready sweetie?"

"Yes!" She cheered excitedly, her ponytail swaying with her moves as she skipped next to Miranda. "Let's pick up Tuck!" She waved at him, "bye daddy!"

"See you tomorrow" He planted an imaginary kiss on her face, mouthing a _call you later_ at Miranda. He watched the duo disappear through the doors and sighed. Suddenly, he wasn't the coolest person anymore. He was the dad, he couldn't possibly use the "late night-and-cotton-candy-and-popcorn" trick whenever he wanted as he was responsible of her own wellbeing. In ten years he would probably be the lame dad who wouldn't approve of anything. But as of now, Miranda's house with the backyard and the pool was so much more appealing than a tiny tin can in the woods. He would have to start looking for a house, for real this time.

He decided to drop by the cafeteria to grab an espresso before returning to his dept. The eating area was pretty quiet, he spotted a young couple, recognizing the blonde as an ER nurse. He could tell she was following his moves curiously. He heard a familiar laughter coming from the corner and he threw a look that way. It was Addison. And Noah. Looking way too cosy. He had an arm wrapped around her neck and pressed kisses to her cheek repeatedly while whispering things in her ear. Things she found extremely funny judging by her face.

Completely unaware they were having solitary audience, her moved to look her in the eyes. And then he kissed her. On the lips.

And she let him.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven: Truth Unveiled

**_I just couldn't help myself :P Hope you're not seriously growing tired of me. Again, it's short. But Noah finally admits in this._**

**_The CharTuck scene is a little random but I really felt like writing something cute. _**

**_Thank you for still hitting that review button! And for following and favoring! So grateful for all of you!_**

**_Zetterlund: PM mig :)_**

**_Hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

Derek heard the nurses on his floor gush over something in the hallways. They were several health care professionals standing there, bringing hands to their hearts and uttering "aww"-s and "oooh"-s at something presumedly worth watching. He walked out of the small office behind the nurse's desk, curious. He instantly melted at what he saw. His daughter was walking right behind young Tuck, holding his hands securely while placing one Converse clad foot in front of the other, demonstratively. He followed, slowly but definitely surely, his small feet copying Charlotte's adept steps. They looked so perfectly coordinated, and so alike, both wearing jeans and the famous type of sneakers. Tuck's wild curls sprung out from his head as Charlotte's cascaded down her shoulders. The moment playing out in front of him was amazing. Tuck, filled with pride from his vital achievement looked up at her gracefully and Charlotte beamed back at him.

"Daddy!" She called once spotting Derek admire the two, "look! I'm helping Tuck walk!"

"I know" He praised, "that's great!"

Careless for a moment, she picked him up and ran towards him, the toddler in her arms. _**That**_ he didn't like much, so he started to wriggle uncontrollably, letting lightweight Char struggle to hold on tight.

"You should let him down" Derek monished, "he doesn't like that"

Instead, she kept him tight and spun him around in swift circles, resulting in unsated cries from the toddler boy.

"Charlotte!"

He took Tuck from her, "what did I say? you're bothering him, he doesn't want that"

"Sorry" She put her cheek against his soothingly.

"Chotte mean" A little dizzy, he pointed straight at her accusingly.

"Chotte's mean?" Derek joined in, teasing her, "I agree, Chotte can be a little mean"

"No!" She protested through a giggle, "I'm not!"

Tuck, happy now, was being put down by Derek and he stumbled a little on his small feet, instantly grabbing her leg for some much needed support.

"Walk more" He commanded cutely. Charlotte more than willingly reached for his hands again and situated herself right behind him.

Derek couldn't help but smile. It made him think of his own childhood, how his older sisters had been all fighting over him and how much he'd loved to watch over his baby sisters and to teach them every little thing a child should know.

Also, it got him thinking about Charlotte's very first year. How she'd once stumbled around, fallen back on her bottom, cried a little in his arms until that one day she was actually walking herself. He heard her praise Tuck with each step he took. She was such a caring girl. Really up for the task. She would have been an incredible big sister.

He saw Addison round the corner and he rubbed his eyes. She was everywhere. With her hair on fire, in her skintight pencil dress, walking on those "I rule the world" heels. God, why did she have to be everywhere?

Charlotte called for her excitedly and she bent down to join them. She stroked her hair and pinched Tuck's cheek affectionately.

"You're not supposed to hang out in the hallways"

"Miranda had to go get something. We're waiting for her" Charlotte explained honestly, "I'm helping Tuck walk!"

"That's amazing!" Addison didn't hide her excitement. She went over to Derek so she could watch their little tour, accidentally bumping into his hip.

"Hey"

"Er, hi"

"Look at them" She gushed, "they're so adorable"

"Yeah" Derek moved from her awkwardly, "they are"

"Reminds me of Archer and I. He helped me take my very first step" She smiled at him, "she would have made an amazing big sister. Not that I'm suggesting anything. Absolutely not"

He cleared his throat, "she would"

Addison, not seeing his weird behavior, moved closer to him. "So, were you on call last night?"

He groaned silently. Her, standing right next to him like that, talking about last nights and looking all gorgeous and smelling Addison was too much for him to take so soon.

He swallowed a desperate breath and snuck an inch away from her, fighting against his urge to stare at her hips.

"What's up with you?" She was growing a little suspicious now.

"Nothing" He spoke a little too soon, "nothing"

"What?" She chuckled, "something is definitely up"

"Nothing's up" He tried, distracted by her fragranced presence. The weird thing was, although this Addison was a completely different person than the Addison he fell in love with, she smelled just like her. Good, old Addison. Addison pre- all the bad stuff.

The Addison who rubbed wedding cake on his face with a crazy grin on her face. The one who let him throw her into the water and wrestle her in the sand on their honeymoon. She who proudly introduced him to the nursery she'd made, standing there, in the middle of the room, looking beautifully pregnant. Who gave birth to his child. Who could tease him at work all day, and sneak up behind him, all of a sudden, horny as hell. Who would sleep with no one but him. The Addison who didn't have an absent husband.

"Where's Noah?" He made sure to avoid her attentive face.

"No idea"

"I better…I should…I gotta talk to him"

Addison shook her head, watching his back. Weird.

He found Noah at the sink in the scrub room, about to start. Derek made his presence known effortlessly.

"Hey" Noah rubbed sanitizer into his hands, "when did you leave last night?"

"I respect that you're trying" He lent against the steal, "but seriously, you don't have to go to great lengths like that"

"What are you talking about?" He said casually, reaching for the surgical mask.

"I saw you kissing Addison. You really don't have to do that, Noah"

"This is about Addison" He reckoned flatly, securing his mouth cover.

"Yeah"

"I'm afraid you're getting it wrong" He sighed, throwing Derek a look, "I have a cesarean to get to. But we should talk. Meet you at Joe's later?"

"No can do" He refused, "plans already"

He eyed him carefully as he took off to the OR room, "Later then"

"Yeah"

Addison and Noah were in bed. A real bed for once, and not the Spartan mattresses in the on-call rooms. He enjoyed the exquisite feel of the Archfield bed sheets against his naked torso. He was halfway dressed, wearing only jeans. Addison rolled her stockings off her feet, leaving herself in her pencil skirt and a bra.

Sex was obvious to come, although neither said the word.

"This bed is…amazing" He popped a strawberry in his mouth, "I could live in this bed. I would only go out every now and then to eat and to pee before going back in."

Addison giggled and fell down next to him. He put half a berry to her mouth. "What about surgery?"

"I wouldn't mind surgery. I would give up my license. And I would just…sleep. And have sex. With you" He grinned readily.

She chewed on the juicy berry. "Really?"

"Really…" He let his lips crash against hers, the fruity wetness hovering on their tongues. Addison tugged on the zipper of her skirt, trying to come free. Noah freed her from it, using one hand like he was the expert. He pushed her on top of him and she agreed with his ways. Their lips reunited wetly and sexy excitement filled the room. Her felt up her pale and slender leg. God, she was so smooth. She adored the touch of his masculine palm.

"God, you're amazing" He whispered while nibbling at her earlobe, "a dream come true…"

"I'm not" She introduced herself wickedly, "I'm an evil…"

"So am I…" He lusted for her, his eyes fixed on her perfectly modest curves. A lacey bra and a same pair of panties was all that was left on her skin. An approving smile came on her lips as he undid the button of his jeans. Hazardously, he tugged on the strap of her bra, watching it fall down her arm.

Forwardly, she pushed her tongue through his mouth and he pulled her tighter. He placed a hand on her butt as he let her tongue explore inside his lips.

The sudden buzz of a vibrating BlackBerry made both pause in their moves. Addison threw the floor a look, it was hers.

"It's just Derek" She concluded after a second, "leave it"

Back on top, she carried on where she'd left off, much to his joy. But a minute later the phone broke into their snug company again. Addison groaned, being right in her assumptions as the screen revealed Derek's call for the second time.

"Still Derek" She breathed, "never mind"

"What if it's important?"

"It's not" She brushed off certainly. She didn't believe her ears when it started vibrating angrily for the third time.

"You gotta be kidding me!" She put the phone to her ear involuntarily, "Hello? What? No, I was sleeping. No, I don't know where Noah is" She lied through the speaker, sending Noah a mischievous grin. His bad conscience instantly hit him hard.

"About Derek…" He started once Addison hung up and started kissing his neck lovingly. She instantly pulled off.

"You wanna talk about Derek rather than make out with me?"

"There's something I need to tell you. I can't keep going on kissing you and feeling bad at once"

"Feel bad?" She quizzed, "for what?"

"You're so amazing and I'm so into you" He looked her in her eyes, "I know why Derek called. He saw us kissing in the cafeteria"

"And…?"

"He thinks I'm doing this for him"

"What are you talking about?"

"Addison" He eyed the carpet shamefully, "Derek told me to hit on you. In order to keep Nelson off you"

* * *

**Addison's reaction might be a little different than you think...Not in a good way though.**


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight:Let The Truth Sting

**I tried. I really tried to stay away from writing but you guys were so awesome I couldn't. Thank you, a million times! **

**You have been so patient with me for so long. I'm going to make a promise to you. 5 chapters from now and Addek is for real. BUT(because there's always a but with me)…in order to get there...**

**More drama waits. I know! I know! I'm a sucker for drama, I can't live without it. And in my opinion Addek can't live without it either. Drama would be putting it light though. **_**This **_**chapter is major drama and this is just a starter. I'd say tragedy and pain would be more suiting. Something horrible is going to happen to one of them. **

**Just to rule it out, it's not horrible as in murder or rape or kidnapping. No way. That is far too disturbing. I will share with you a few more hints when I post next chapter. If you're up for it and if you continue being brilliant, amazing and awesome *batting eyelashes* it'll be up during this weekend.**

She choked on her words.

"Get out"

For a second, she'd thought he was being silly. But then, as his face kept staring ahead, dead serious and not bearing a slightest hint of a smile, she knew. He wasn't kidding. And she couldn't possibly describe the way she felt. A wave of psychical nausea thudded in her chest. How could she be so…Stupid? Eager? Desperate? She looked at herself. She sat on her knees in the bed, in her lingerie, severely deluded. Heartlessly rejected, like a throw-away. Like a slut.

She wanted to cry but the nauseating knot had turned into ceaseless resentment.

"Addison, this doesn't change anything…" He was whispering, "Back then, I never knew I would fall so madly in love with you…"

She didn't hear him. And his words wouldn't matter anyway. She tried to fix her eyes on something right ahead of her but she couldn't. She was just staring blankly at something as an uncomfortable sense rose and fell with her breath.

"You had me interested from the moment we meet" He said truthfully, "but I never imagined this…What I feel for you is so intense. And real. Addison, you have to believe me"

She could barely hear her own voice. "Get out"

"This is not about Derek, I would never kiss you like that if I didn't feel anything for you" He tried to reach out to her, "I'm doing this for me. Because I want to. I want you"

She tore away from him and jumped off the bed. She threw his clothes at the door, then his shoes. "Get out!"

"Addison, I swear-"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

So this was how Derek felt finding her in bed with Mark. This moment felt achingly familiar…the yelling…the throwing of clothes…the feeling of deception. Now, she was playing his part.

Noah sent her a guilty look as he got dressed. He took one step forward but she backed off ,refusing. He nodded sadly.

"Can we please talk about this?" He kept speaking although she didn't leave him a response, "tomorrow? I'll find you at work."

Addison slammed the door to the bathroom, leaned against the cold tiled wall and sank to her knees. She hid her face in her hands. She heard him leave, she heard the door close.

And she let her tears fall freely, silently.

* * *

"Doctor Bailey" Karev approached her early in their morning shift, "I'm at GYN today? Do you know where Doctor Montgomery is? She's not up on three"

"There will be no case today" The redhead was heard behind them. She stressed while looking through the stack of charts. "I will spend the entire day doing paperwork so go make yourself useful on your own"

"Oh. But the polypectomy…not yours?"

"Barnes" She replied flatly.

"Can I scrub in with him?"

"Do whatever you want" She stormed off, loaded with files. Miranda saw her enter the elevator. What was wrong with her? She was stressing out, like she was desperate to get out of here. And she didn't normally answer back like that, not even with interns. And she swore she'd seen her quickly wipe her cheek. Had she been crying?

"Doctor Barnes!" She heard Alex call for the male gynecologist. He paused right next to the OR boards. "Can I scrub in with you? You have a polypectomy patient?"

"I do" He slammed the boards demonstratively, "fine by me. Go prep her around noon"

Noah's eyes were fixed on Miranda now and he trotted straightly towards her once telling Alex off. She looked up from her computer for a swift second.

"You…" He cleared his throat cautiously, "you're…you're Addison's friend right?"

"What have you done?" She instantly knew. She was Bailey.

"What?"

"Addison is acting weird. And you're all awkward coming to talk to me 'bout her. "

Noah dumped into the chair right next to her. As if she'd asked him to. He sighed.

"Derek asked me to hit on her" Bailey's eyes left the clinical research on her screen instantly.

"Because he didn't want Nelson to" He went on, "So I did. And she fell for it. And now she thinks we've fooled her. But I haven't. We have an amazing time together. And I'm in love with her"

"You fool" She spat out, "you follow Shepherd around like you're his puppy. Who do you think he is? You treat him like he's the boss of you. He's not. Addison is. And an upset Addison always comes with a guilty Derek. But you? How could you do that?"

"I don't know…it was supposed to be a fun bet…"

"A fun bet! You think it's funny to step on someone and leave her in a state like this?"

"No! That's why I told her. Didn't want her to find out by herself. And I truly care about her"

"Good luck with that" She said sourly.

"You know where she is?"

"No"

"You're lying"

"I'm not. She would be doing paperwork all day. No idea where. But you should keep away from her"

* * *

Derek was about to exit a patient room once he arrived at his floor. Noah jogged up beside him.

"Have you seen Addison?" He breathed, "I need to talk to her"

"No" He scribbled something down on his file before shutting it, "why?"

"I told her" He confessed, "I told her about your stupid plan. And now she thinks I fooled her. And that you did this to hurt her on purpose"

"You told her?! I told you not to say anything!"

"You know" Noah started, Baileys very recent words spun inside his mind, "you're not the boss of me. And what you're doing is disrespectful and low. We were about to make love last night. And then you called. Because I actually have a conscience, I blurted it. I couldn't go on with her like that playing your game behind her back."

"I kinda doubt she was gonna make love to you. I'm sure you've gotten it wrong" He slapped his shoulder disrespectfully.

He'd had enough. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

He instantly regretting taking on such a loud voice. Everyone looked up. Derek's face was shocked. He probably never counted on his lackey to ever grow guts to confront him like that. Noah cursed to himself. He was stupid to believe Derek Goldenboy Shepherd would regard him as a friend. Only reason he'd bothered hanging out with him was to take advantage of his naivety. And because Noah was so in love with his newfound "friendship" he'd ended up hurting his boss, his redhead mentor, the woman he'd fallen so much in love with, so bad.

"It's like you're still in love with her! You won't let her off the hook! It was never about Nelson was it? You weren't worried for her, worried that he'd be the wrong guy to her! You were so jealous! So jealous he'd steal her! You did all this for yourself! So you could enjoy the comfortable thought of Addison being single and forever available to you"

He inhaled a breath, "forget it. You don't get to have that thought. The reason I hit on Addison, the reason we kissed, the reason we almost…consummated…last night didn't have anything to do with you! Somewhere down the line I fell in love with her and I'm not gonna let you have a say!"

"Do you seriously believe she'd start something serious with you?" Derek laughed discourteously, "no matter what she says, you're any guy to her. Nelson would have a better shot than you. I suggest you back off before things get too emotional or you'll just end up hurting yourself"

"_Touché_" He was sarcastic, "Who made you exclusive? What right do you have to put yourself on top? You're Derek Shepherd, you can do whatever you want, fail any person and they'll still come for you, and at your service. It's sickening. I hope that day comes when people start to fail _you_."

"Sorry to break it to you but that's not gonna happen"

"I feel so bad for the people in your life. For Addison, having to put up with you. For your friends, your ego is probably too magnificent to ever bother. And for Charlotte in particular. What have she done to deserve the lousy father?"

That was it. He'd crossed every line.

Just like Meredith, he had no right to. He was digging into the most private sphere of his life. Guessing, speculating.

There were three people who had the right to torment him till forever about the biggest mistake of his life. Charlotte herself. Addison. Mark. Because they had been left, suffering his absence. And because Mark was that much decent he played a parent part when Derek so obviously failed at his.

Whoever outsider had _no_ right.

And Noah was definitely one.

How dared he! He closed his fist. He felt nothing but anger.

_Don't you do that. Don't you ever say her name to my face again._

In what felt like a second he had punched Noah to the floor. He heard him swear in pain. Nasal fracture, Derek guessed as he left.

* * *

Involuntarily, Addison shred another tear and it stained the patient file in her hands. She was trying, she was trying hard to focus but the emotions in her wouldn't let her. She probably looked all messed-up. She didn't wear the waterproof kind. But what difference would it make? She was locked up in here, the linen closet was dark and quiet and she would spend her entire day inside this place. Safe and sound. Away from the turmoil outside. Hiding from Noah. Derek.

Someone turned a key in the locker and she sat up, startled. Couldn't she get even one hour of much needed peace?

She was relieved to see the faces behind it. Thank God, it weren't _those guys. _Or a nosy nurse.

"Hey" Callie felt for her, "oh, Addison. We heard. So we brought cake" She balanced a giant cheese cake on her hands as Miranda offered her a double mocha latte.

She took a large sip. "How did you know I was here"?

"You have a thing for linen closets" Her two best friends in Seattle joined her at the floor, Callie handing them the plastic forks. "Just like Derek has a thing for elevators. Now, dig in. We're comfort eating"

"Don't talk to me about Derek" Her voice fell. Callie showed the sweet deliciousness in her mouth as Addison seemed unable to feed herself at the moment.

"I think you're giving this too much thought" The orthopedic surgeon had her mouth full, "I think it's cute, he's protecting you"

"Yeah" Miranda agreed, "Shepherd's a fool but he's not a bad guy. It was stupid, but at least he means well"

"Cute?! Means well?!" She raised her voice so bits and pieces of cake flew through her mouth, "he'll never let me off the hook. He'll go on punishing me till the end of time. He humiliated me. He humiliated me in front of the entire hospital" She let out a whimper.

Miranda hugged her close. "Addison…no one knows"

"Except for a few…" Callie munched hungrily, muttering to herself.

"What?" Miranda caught her, "who?"

"Don't know. Few nurses, probably. Although they don't know about _this_, but they saw Derek punching Noah so at least they know something's up"

"Derek punched Noah?" Addison and Miranda replied in unison, the general surgeon still holding onto the redhead who dried her heavy tears bravely.

Addison sniffed a little "Why?"

"Noah accused him of still being in love with you. And he yelled at him for not giving a damn about people" Callie told them, "and then he called him a lousy dad. "That was the last straw. He'd had it. So he punched him to the ground."

"He's right" she was unreasonable, "he is a lousy dad"

"He's not" Bailey and Torres sighed, before the orthopedic went on, "you know that. He made one mistake. Everyone does. It's a horrible thing to say and Noah, of all people, had no business"

"How is he?"

"Battered and bruised" Miranda shrugged, as if she couldn't really care less.

"You're taking Noah's side now?"

She had another slice of cake. "It was Derek who started it! You have no idea how I felt last night. I honestly thought he liked _me_. And I thought this was about us, but no, it's about Derek. It was Derek who told him to play me like that. Because hurting me once wasn't enough. Why can't he leave me alone? He doesn't care about me so why can't he just back off!"

"He does care about you" Miranda pointed out, "everyone knows that. If he didn't care about you he wouldn't have bothered."

"He hates me. He made that clear a long time ago"

"He hates you _and_ he loves you" Callie corrected.

"Doesn't make me feel better" Addison sniveled, wiping her cheek again. "What am I supposed to do now? I can't go back out there, I can't stand their faces. I hate this city. Why am I even trying to like it here? I should go back to New York. Not that I've ever felt like I truly belonged somewhere. Hey" A groundbreaking thought crossed her mind, "let's pack our things and move to Bearcreek, Montana! We could start our own practice and turn on a completely new leaf. And Derek could rotten in Seattle with Meredith"

"You don't start your own practice in Bearcreek, Montana" Callie mocked, "Because in Bearcreek, Montana, people don't get sick. Because there are no people in Bearcreek, Montana"

"You haven't heard?" Miranda broke in, "Grey and Shepherd are no longer a couple"

"They are" Addison differed, "they're taking a break, that's all"

"No, they're broken up. Grey thought that taking a break meant go 'ahead and screw every guy at Joe's'. And the guy showed up at the hospital, in need for a neuro consult. That's how he found out."

"Who broke it?" Callie pried, "Grey or Shepherd?"

"Shepherd"

* * *

Addison was finally going home. She'd made it till the elevator without anyone noticing. She breathed a gush of relief. Although Callie and Miranda had been able to complete the impossible task of making her feel better, it'd lasted for only a moment. The sense of utter and complete loneliness, and betrayal, hit her hard once the steely doors slid shut. She meant nothing. She was alone. Derek hated her. Her relationship with her mother was nearly non-existent, especially after Bizzy decided to call her a bad mother and having the nerve to even suggest that it'd be good for Charlotte to settle in Connecticut with them, for a while.

She snorted. It was the stupidest idea.

_Do you even have the time to care for her? _She recalled her accusing voice. _I think you ignore her suffering, Addison._

When did Bizzy ever care for someone except herself?

Why? She couldn't help but shred another tear, why was everyone so hostile towards her? What did she do? Were they all so shallow they couldn't possibly think that past the chill, professional beauty there was a fragile little girl, screaming on top of her lungs to be loved?

The elevator made another stop on its way to her floor. She couldn't have been more wrong believing she could make it out of here unnoticed. She looked to the floor, seeing a pair of black sneakers entering.

Her heart fell. Why? Why? Why, at this exact minute…

"I've been looking for you all day" Derek confessed, "where have you been?"

She couldn't possibly answer back at him. Her throat was turning into a big knot and she couldn't part her lips. She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't handle another second of his presence. Not here, not now. She let her eyes rest on a Quit Smoking poster at the doors. She wouldn't look any other way. She wouldn't look at him, though his eyes were on her, she could feel it. They penetrated her and she couldn't take it.

Addison quieted a small sob as she tripped impatiently on the elevator floors. Come on….She wanted out. There was too much Derek around here.

"Addison…" His voice was guilty. He'd heard. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. I never meant to hurt you"

Another tear. They leapt from the corner of her eye and down her cheeks, leaving her to shiver with her cries.

"I am sorry" He touched her back ever so slightly, "I didn't do this to hurt you"

She was crying louder.

"Addison, why won't you talk to me?"

She kept looking right ahead.

"Please say something" Finally, they landed on her floor. He reached for her arm the second she was about to leave. "Say something!" He begged, "Do something!"

He was loud enough to attract every face in the lobby area. Perfect! Just perfect! He wouldn't miss the perfect opportunity to humiliate her some more. So many familiar faces eyed them, aghast. Callie. Olivia. Webber. Nelson. Grey. Yang.

Noah.

He held her so tight she was sure to rip off her arm the second she dislodged it from his grip. For the first time she looked at him, showing him her broken face. He was shocked to see her in a state like this. She freed her hand forcefully while battling a loud series of sobs. Hurt crashed with hatred on her face. She exited the elevator, feeling anger blowing up inside her as he followed closely. In a second she'd turned on her heel, looked him in the eyes and slammed a hand against his face.

She didn't know if it'd hurt. All she heard was a soft moan once it crashed upon his cheek.

Before he could do anything she was already through the hospital doors and a moment later, gone.

**That was major mama drama wasn't it.**


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine: Breakaway

**Here you go. I promised, didn't I? :) Kind of a filler you might say. And short. The real bad stuff are gonna happen in the next chapter and on from there. It's not my intention to put things off, and it certainly won't affect the Addek kissing moment. **

**Just to leave out any possible doubt: Yes, Meredith and Derek are officially broken up. I made myself a cheap way out of that one, I know. I hope you'll forgive me(which I honestly think you will because you're all Addek lovers ;))**

"Richard" She stood in the middle of his spacious office, her hands on her skirted hips, demanding. "I need a week off"

"A week OFF?" Incredulously, he looked at her from behind his glasses. Giving a mediocre surgeon the weekend off, just like that, was hard enough, but presenting his department head, chief of the state of the art NICU, the best in the northwest, with the whole week, proved to be an extremely tricky task.

"Five days" She negotiated, helping him out a little, "I really need it. I have an important errand to make"

"An errand taking you five days?" He looked at her, skeptical.

"It's not here" She revealed just the little bit, "It's private. I'll let you know once I get back." She was already certain he would give into her. Whatever she wanted. She was his star.

"If you get Barnes to cover for you" He promised, "you can go"

"Can you talk to him?"

"I'll be in a meeting with the boards the entire day" Richard shut his briefcase, "on my way right now."

Addison nodded quietly. He noticed her avoiding way.

"What's going on? With you and Barnes. And Derek, not to mention. You never struck me as a violent person" A hint of a smile played on his lips, recalling Addison's very loud outburst last night. "Did you put your weight behind it?"

She held out her slender arm. "Not sure if I can get a lot of harm done with this little thing"

"What did Shepherd do to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it" She said as they exited his office together. "I'm sure you'd catch the gossip without even trying anyways."

"Are you okay?"

"I guess. Better go back there"

"Have a nice day, Addie" He told her as they went separate ways, "I you ever feel like catching some space, shun away a little, feel free to use my office while I'm gone"

She smiled gratefully at him.

"You're my star" He reminded her for the thousandth time, as if she would ever forget, "whatever you need"

* * *

"Coffee" Nelson appeared next to her, "for the champ"

She happily accepted it, "Oh, hey. Thank you"

"I never pegged you to be the violent person" He kept going on about last night, a mocking tone to his voice, "although I support you, obviously. Keep going, I say"

"Don't remind me" Addison groaned into her coffee, "it was so humiliating"

"You shouldn't think about it. It was Shepherd who looked like the fool. What happened really?"

"Trust me, you don't wanna know"

"You're okay now?"

"Yeah. I think so" She wavered, "maybe not. Not yet. But I will be"

"You think that a fancy steakhouse dinner could help you out a little? How about tomorrow night?"

"Jim, I-"

"As friends" He assured, "because we are friends. I'm not gonna put anything in it, I swear."

"I know. But tomorrow's not a good time. I'm going to be out of town"

"Oh. Big thing?"

"Kind of. Don't tell anyone, okay?" Suddenly, she felt the need to confide in the neurosurgeon, her only male friend in the entire hospital except from the chief. And he was a good guy and she felt like she could trust him in about pretty much anything.

"Sure"

"No one knows. I have an interest on the phone. About my house. Back in New York. And it's all empty cause we're all here and it's a shame because it's a really nice house. So I'm going to meet with them, and our lawyers and start cleaning out our stuff…"

"It's your house? Yours alone?"

"Legally, it's our house" She admitted, "but Derek doesn't care about anything going on back there. I don't see why I should even bother trying to involve him"

"I get your point. And you know very well that I'm not an actual fan of Shepherd, but still. You gotta tell"

"I will. I will" She promised his skeptical looks. "just not today. I need to jump on that plane and get my mind around everything, first of all. I'm doing this to get a break as well. I just…I feel like I need it."

"Okay"

"Don't say anything"

"I won't"

Addison patted his arm in reply and just then, Derek walked in on them. And for once, he didn't say anything. Probably because a herd of nurses and interns exited a patient room and he didn't want to start yet another scene. But he actually looked ashamed and embarrassed. He threw them one, curious look before his eyes hit the floor. He looked tired and sad. Her violent hand had left him with a tiny, reddish contusion right below his eye, on top of his cheek.

Nelson didn't say a thing either. He was too sophisticated to make fun of people like that. Derek could've learned a thing or two from him. She wanted to shout it to his face and hit him once again. But right now, he seemed too vulnerable. Not that he had the right to. He'd hurt her.

"Speaking of the devil" He muttered once Derek was gone, "he looks miserable"

"He does. He does indeed"

"So," He bumped his coffee into hers, "guess I should wish you a safe trip then"

"It's hardly a trip. But thank you. And I'd like to have that dinner. When I get back?" She suggested.

He smiled, his pager going off right in time to let him finish his last sentence,

"Looking forward to it"

* * *

"Would you cover for me?" Hideously professional, she approached Noah who'd just come down the stairs. He was surprised to see her and he instantly reached out for her.

"Addison…where have you been?"

"I have a question for you" She ignored him, "would you cover for me while I'm out of town? Five days from 6th."

"You're going out of town?"

She nodded.

"Of course. What's up?"

I'm afraid that is none of your business"

"Addison, wait" He reached her hand, "are we going to talk about this? You can't just treat me like any peer"

"That's exactly what I'm doing"

"Please, can we talk? Over coffee? You threw me out and you never gave me a chance to explain myself"

"What is there to explain? You're following Derek around like a puppy. You were able to please him so I guess, I don't know, go hang out with him or something."

"No" He was determined, "I kissed you because I wanted you. I'm in love with you and I hate that I can't make you see that"

"I don't believe you"

"Addison-"

"Do you seriously believe we have a shot? You kissed me because DEREK TOLD YOU TO! Do you realize how crazy that is?"

"I didn't! He wanted me to hit on you, he never wanted me to kiss you! I kissed you because I'm in love with you!"

"I can't deal with this. Not…now" She simply shut the door behind her.

* * *

Every motherly emotion welled up in her as she watched her little girl sleep. She was too precious. Too good for a world full of dark and hate, and parents who constantly fought over the most ridiculous things. Who were 39 and who acted like hormonal fourteen year olds on a weekly basis.

She felt so much gratitude. For being given the great daughter, despite all odds. She wanted to hug her tight and tell her what an amazing little person she'd turned out to be, to tell her she was sorry about pretty much everything. But she didn't have the heart to wake her up. Charlotte looked so peaceful in sleep. Like an angel.

Addison laid down next to her and put a caressing hand upon her warm cheek.

"We'll be okay" She whispered into the dark hotel room air. "When mommy comes back, we're gonna figure everything out. Everything's gonna be okay…"

She could hear her little girl's balanced breath rising and falling, her small chest moving a little with it.

She kissed her cheek for a long time, pulling away when she heard a low knock on her door.

"Hey" She went to greet Kate on the other side of it, who was standing in her velour slacks, holding a giant latte in her hand.

"I'm sorry about the short notice" She excused, "I know it's late"

"Not a problem" She smiled through a yawn, "I don't start until late tomorrow anyways"

"She's a heavy sleeper" Addison promised, "she normally won't wake up during the nights so all you have to do is wake her up tomorrow morning, get some breakfast and drop her off at 8."

"Got it" Kate gave her a certain smile, throwing a look at her packed bags. "how long you're gonna be out there?"

"Five days"

She nodded. "She's sad she's not going with you?"

"She doesn't know" Addison admitted. She could tell Kate was a little baffled by her answer.

"Oh…"

"What?"

"That's not very nice is it?"

"I have an appointment there. If she knew she'd beg me to come along. It's five days. It's not good for her to be dragged across the country and then back here"

"It's her hometown, Addison"

"Next time" She told herself as much as Kate, "next time will be better."

The young blonde dropped her bag and sighed. "Fine. You decide. What do you want me to tell her? She'll ask you know."

"Tell her…" She debated, "tell her I have to do a follow up on a patient in…Portland. Or something"

"You want me to lie"

"No, I don't want you to lie. But I don't want my daughter to panic needlessly. As you probably know she's a little apprehensive about people leaving. After Derek-" She cut herself off.

"You want me to lie to your daughter"

She sighed, realizing there was no need to sugarcoat a thing.

"Yes, I want you to lie to my daughter"

* * *

**About next chapter. Char will NOT be delighted waking up to an absent mother. And I feel like she's got every right not to...**

**Addison is back in New York but something force her back. And she's not going back alone. Mark, Carolyn and a few Shepherds as well as the Montgomery clan arrives with her. Any idea why? Feel free to drop a guess. **

**I'm so glad to still have you with me on this. Really nice to see both new and old "faces". It means so much! *superduperhappyhugsykissysmiley***


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